Pizzagate: Attack of the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats (Part II)

The Pizzagate Timeline

The Birth of an Hypothesis: The Pizzagate Timeline

There were three main phases in the development of Pizzagate, each involving distinct (yet interlinked) entities on social media.

Phase I (early July to late October 2016): Hints of “something big” involving Hillary Clinton, the Clinton Foundation and child trafficking show up on 4chan, the YouTube channels of pseudo-Anonymous groups, and other lesser-known online forums. At this point we’re dealing with Pedo Democrats.

Phase II (October 28 to November 2, 2016): Nebulous rumours about the Anthony Weiner emails begin to circulate. They will supposedly reveal the Clintons’ participation in Jeffrey Epstein’s rumoured island orgies, Hillary Clinton’s involvement in child trafficking, etc. Now the clickbait “news” sites get on board, cranking out hoax headlines about NYPD and FBI investigations. Marginal alt-right Twitter users and Facebook patriots also get involved. Now we’re dealing with Gay Pedo Democrats.

Phase III (November 3, 2016 to the present): The Pizzagate phase, spawned by the release of a fresh batch of the hacked Podesta emails, erupts. Now Wikileaks,  popular alt-right Twitter users and alt media outlets like the Drudge Report are fully engaged. Reddit and Facebook users resolve to solve the crimes on their own. Suddenly, we’re dealing with Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats.

The Pizzagate timelines published by BuzzFeed and Rolling Stone are highly informative, but due to time and space constraints, neither could reveal the full evolution of the hypothesis – the lesser-known videos and online exchanges that paved the way for Pizzagate like John the Baptist getting everybody psyched to meet his cousin. So I’ve compiled a more detailed timeline. If you want just the meat and potatoes, skip ahead to November 3-4, 2016.

THE PIZZAGATE TIMELINE 

2009: A Jane Doe now known to be Virginia Roberts Giuffre files a lawsuit against the incarcerated Jeffrey Epstein, alleging that he treated her as a “sex slave” from 1999 to 2002, when she was 15-18 years old. Roberts was allegedly recruited from Mar-a-Lago, where she worked as a change room attendant, by one of Epstein’s female procurers.

Much later, in 2015, Roberts names Epstein’s friends Alan Dershowitz and Prince Andrew as other abusers (later withdrawing all accusations against Dershowitz). She also names Bill Clinton and Donald Trump as two of the prominent people who socialized with Epstein on his island estate, but is very clear that neither of these men engaged in any criminal or sexual activity while she was around.

This is significant, because Mrs. Giuffre will be a party to several lawsuits against people connected to Epstein.

July 20, 2010: Jeffrey Epstein is released from prison, having served 13 months of an 18-month sentence for soliciting an underage prostitute in Florida. He was accused by several women of procuring them for “massages” when they were as young as 14, though there is some evidence that Epstein instructed his female procurers to make sure they selected girls over 18 (see James Patterson’s Filthy Rich).

I’m thinking Ron Perlman for Pizzagate: The Movie.

April 12, 2015: Via YouTube, Hillary Clinton announces her 2016 presidential campaign.

June 16, 2015: At Trump Tower in New York, Trump announces his 2016 presidential campaign.

January 29, 2016: Vice publishes a story on Epstein’s close associations with Bill Clinton and Donald Trump. The article cites rumours that Bill Clinton was a guest on Epstein’s private “orgy” island and speculates that Trump wouldn’t dare exploit Clinton’s connection to Epstein for political gain because he, too, was chummy with Epstein, whose Florida home is only a few miles away from Mar-a-Lago.

In 2002, when Epstein was just a mysterious financier and not a suspected sexual predator, Trump freely admitted to knowing him for 15 years and admiring him greatly. He even revealed that they shared a taste for beautiful women, adding “many of them are on the younger side.” But by 2007, Trump had cut all ties to Epstein and even barred him from Mar-a-Lago.

VICE turns out to be correct: Neither Trump nor Clinton will use Epstein as a blunt instrument during their campaigns. However, Trump and others will repeatedly accuse Hillary Clinton of some sort of complicity in her husband’s alleged sexual abuse of various women. For example, Juanita Broaddrick said that after Bill Clinton raped her, she attended one of his political events and Hillary shook her hand and thanked her for her support in a way she interpreted as a veiled threat to keep her mouth shut.

This conflation of a person’s alleged behaviour with the behaviour of his/her spouse is ridiculously common in political discourse, and Trump will capitalize on allegations about Hillary Clinton’s husband throughout his campaign.

January – late October, 2016: There are few online allegations of Hillary Clinton being involved with human trafficking of any sort, much less Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrat trafficking. If anything, she is criticized for keeping vulnerable and desperate children out of the United States (see Karen Attiah’s scathing piece in the Washington Post for one example) and for defining sex trafficking so broadly as to include sex workers.

April 26, 2016: A federal lawsuit is filed in U.S. District Court in Riverdale, California. Katie Johnson v. Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey E. Epstein accuses Trump and Epstein of rape and other sexual assaults during the summer of 1994, when Johnson was 13 years old. Johnson is seeking $100 million in damages from the two men for violating her Civil Rights and “making her their sex slave.” The name “Katie Johnson” is a pseudonym.

The case draws almost zero attention. It is covered mostly by tabloids (the Daily Mail,  the Sunday Express, the NY Daily News)  and low-profile news sites (RADAR onlineWinning DemocratsAntiMedia.org).

April 28, 2016: Trump’s corporate attorney, Alan Garten, issues a denial of the “Katie Johnson” allegations, but adds the extremely bizarre comment that Trump’s legal team found no evidence that “the person who made these allegations” exists.

The same “nonexistent person” will file two more lawsuits against Trump and Epstein by the end of 2016. Jane Doe v. Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey E. Epstein will be filed in New York in June, and another Jane Doe v. Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey E. Epstein will be filed in New York in September (you can read some of the court docs for more info). “Katie” will also be photographed by the Daily Mail in November. And the Daily Mail will drag out her criminal record.

Whether Katie is telling the truth or not, she 100% exists and even a shit UK tabloid can ascertain that. Garten is a dolt. I can’t believe Trump hasn’t fired him.

May 13, 2016: Fox News reveals that Bill Clinton traveled on one of Jeffrey Epstein’s private planes 26 times between 2001 and 2003. Previous reports indicated he had only taken 10 or 11 flights. On 5 of these 26 flights, Clinton was not accompanied by his Secret Service detail.

Now it’s time to get technical. Every reference to Epstein’s private planes that you will ever see in the land of Pizzagate refers to them as just one plane dubbed the “Lolita Express.” But Epstein had two planes, a Gulfstream that he used to travel to St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands and a Boeing 747 that he used for overseas business. The trips Bill Clinton took were on the Boeing, and all of them were overseas junkets related to Clinton’s work, such as addressing AIDS and democracy in Africa. Go ahead and match up the flight logs to Clinton’s 2001-2003 speeches in New York, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Singapore, London, Antwerp, Norway, Moscow and Africa. I’ll wait. The only flights not related to speaking engagements were a 2002 visit to the Sultan of Brunei and a stopoff in the Azores en route to Africa.

The rumours of an “orgy bed” on Epstein’s Boeing? Never confirmed. There were sleeping accommodations (not that you would need any for mile-high shenanigans). Maybe Bill and Jerry did have some fun on their trips, but how the hell would you know, and why is it your business? Most of Epstein’s female companions were not minors.

The flight logs do not show Clinton aboard any of Epstein’s flights to Saint Thomas in the Virgin Islands. This means that if Clinton did go to the rumoured orgies on Epstein’s private island, Little St. James, he did so on his own steam.

Little St. James in the U.S. Virgin Islands, privately owned by Jeffrey “I Just Really Like Massages” Epstein

Also, many people visit Little St. James for scientific conferences dealing with cancer research, AI and an array of other fascinating and vitally important areas of study. So piss off with your “everybody who went there is a pedo.” And if some pervy creep wants to donate his money to good scientific causes, take it. He should contribute to society.

Hillary Clinton did not accompany her husband on any of the 26 flights her husband took on Epstein’s plane.

June 15, 2016: There are reports that Clement Freud, the late UK broadcaster (and grandson of the Freud) has been posthumously accused of sexually abusing his foster daughter and raping one other young woman. Freud died in 2009.

This excites police and media interest, because Clement owned a summer villa in Praia da Luz, Portugal, just 600 yards from the Ocean Club Resort where Madeleine McCann went missing in May 2007. He even hosted dinner for the McCanns on two occasions during the search for Madeleine.

Freud’s family, including his stunned widow, accept the rape allegations and apologize to the two accusers. They draw the line at the McCann disappearance, however. According to the family, he was in the UK at that time.

Clement’s name will surface in Pizzagate, as Pizzagaters try to connect the Podesta brothers to Madeleine McCann’s abduction.

June 19, 2016: The Daily Mail publishes a story headlined “Clement Freud drank with Maddie suspect Robert Murat in Praia da Luz bar – and his local pub was dubbed the Plough and Paedo.” In December, they will publish a full retraction and apology, writing, “In fact, Mr Murat, who was totally cleared of any involvement in the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, never met or had any connection with the alleged paedophile ex-MP. We are happy to make this clear and apologise to Mr. Murat for any suggestion he was involved in wrongdoing.”

The Podesta brothers will receive no such apologies from their accusers.

July 2, 2016: “FBIAnon”, an anonymous 4chan user claiming to be a “high-level analyst”, surfaces on 4chan’s /pol/ board for an AMA (Ask Me Anything) session [note: I’ve covered one other 4chan hoax on this blog, the hilarious Assphone Theory of the disappearance of Flight MH370].

FBIAnon’s stated goal is to leak information about the bureau’s investigation of Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server when she was Secretary of State, which has been ongoing for over a year. He/she also divulges details of crimes Hillary Clinton has supposedly committed, such as sharing with others Special Access Programs she wasn’t even supposed to possess. He/she states the FBI is under “intense pressure” to not recommend indictment. This is a clever thing to say. If Clinton is indicted, FBIAnon could be legit. If she isn’t indicted, then it means the FBI buckled to external pressures and dark forces are at work. You just can’t go wrong with a statement like this.

The rest of the Q & A meanders all over the place. FBIAnon praises the work of Jerome Corsi (the “Amero” guy, who currently works for Alex Jones), and lavishly compliments Russia (“more a paragon of freedom and nationalism than any other country”). He/she also spews racist shit (“Blacks are violent and generally impulsive, but they are not all bad. And they can be, for lack of a better term domesticated”) and goofy, anti-Semitic shit (George Soros is trying to “create a global government where all people intermingle and breed and become on people ruled by a racially pure Jewish race”).

But it’s what FBIAnon has to say about the Clintons and child sex rings that captivates 4chan. Urged to elaborate on that subject, he/she writes, “Sex rings are popular in all governments, but pedophilia is primarily in British parliament & Saudi Arabia, and that’s why HRC and BC love foreign donors so much. They get paid in children as well as money. Dig deep and you can find it. It will sicken you.” He urges readers to focus their attentions on the Clinton Foundation – its donors and its directors.

“If there is anything to gain from this, it is FOCUS ON THE CLINTON FOUNDATION. The media will over the next few weeks try to paint the e-mail scandal as the only scandal, and HRC may or may not get indicted. But if you keep pressing the foundation and do not let the questions or demands die, then the truth will out.

Follow the Foundation.”

This was in reference to the Justice Department’s brief, fruitless inquiry into the Clinton Foundation. Needless to say, people have been following the Foundation very closely in the run-up to the election, and they haven’t found much.

A couple of FBIAnon’s comments on “meme magic” will be particularly revealing, in light of later events:

Q: What’s your guys’ opinion on meme magic? Kekkism?

A. I am not religious, so I have no opinion on Kek. But meme magic is very real, in the sense that a thought large enough to gain traction with enough minds will manifest in external reality. That’s why confirmation bias works, and why Trump has used it to his advantage.

Q: So, meme magic is just fucking confirmation bias. Well that really takes the wind out of Kek.

A: Perceptions shape reality.

Indeed they do, fake FBI guy on 4chan. Indeed they do.

July 5, 2016: FBI Director James Comey announces that the FBI has completed its investigation into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server and is recommending to the State Department “that no charges are appropriate in this case.”

July 6, 2016: Fox news runs a story headlined “Billionaire Sex Offender Epstein Once Claimed He Co-founded Clinton Foundation.” The claim comes from a letter written by Epstein’s lawyers in 2007, during plea deal negotiations. In the letter, the lawyers state Epstein was part of the original group that conceived the Clinton Global Initiative.

This is never confirmed. And CGI is just one part of the Foundation, anyway (according to David Callahan of Inside Philanthropy, less than 10% of Foundation funds went to CGI as late as 2014).

July 7, 2016: In Dallas, Micah Johnson ambushes and kills five police officers and injures nine others, as well as two civilians. The ambush occurs at the end of a protest against the recent police killings of two black men (Alton Sterling in Louisiana and Philando Castile in Minnesota).

July 8, 2016: FBIAnon resurfaces on 4chan to answer more questions. He/she kicks off the Q & A by confirming that the Dallas incident was a false flag operation engineered to draw attention away from Hillary Clinton’s emails. And if you want to know any more than that, you’ll have to read the transcripts. I’m done with this douchemonkey.

July 10, 2016: After a night of drinking at a local sports bar, 27-year-old Democratic National Convention employee Seth Rich heads home to his apartment in the Bloomingdale neighbourhood of Washington, DC. At 4:20 AM, he is found alive and conscious  with multiple gunshot wounds, his body covered with defensive bruises. He dies in a nearby hospital a short time later.

Police surmise that this was a failed robbery, as there had been several robberies in the neighbourhood. However, there are no suspects and questions remain.

July 13, 2016: The clickbait conspiracy site What Does It Mean publishes a story about Seth Rich, claiming that “a somber Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) report circulating in the Kremlin today says that a top American Democratic Party staffer preparing to testify against Hillary Clinton was assassinated this past Sunday during a secret meeting in Washington D.C. he believed he was having with Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agents, but who turned out, instead, to be a ‘hit team’—and who, in turn, were captured yesterday after a running gun battle with US federal police forces just blocks from the White House.”

What Does It Mean is the website of “Sorcha Faal”, another entity we’ve covered on this blog (Faal put out the stupidest Michael Jackson death conspiracy theory of them all). Faal literally makes up silly shit and puts it on the website. Period.

The non-clickbait rumours about Rich’s murder are only slightly less goofy than this, though. Before Rich is even buried, the interwebs are afire with bullshit stories about him. He was the source of the DNC emails leak that Wikileaks published after his death, he had something to do with Hillary’s emails, etc. Julian Assange fanned the flames with coy hints that maaaaybe Rich was a Wikileaks source.

No one stops to wonder why a professional assassin would leave you alive and conscious on the street.

Rich will become something like the IT nerd version of JFK. Everyone has a theory, and there’s no way he was murdered by a stranger in one of the most murdery cities in America. At this point, it is impossible to extricate the tragic death of Seth Rich from Pizzagate. Not only is Hillary Clinton a Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrat, but she runs the shittiest murder squad in the DC metro area.

July 22, 2016:  WikiLeaks publishes a glut of hacked or leaked DNC emails (first published by DCLeaks in June). Some of them indicate that Democratic party leadership cunningly sank Bernie Sanders’ presidential campaign in order to secure a Hillary win.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz announces her resignation as chair of the DNC two days later, proving once again that Wikileaks wields tremendous political power.

August 2016: In his book Partners in Crime, Jerome Corsi (now employed by Alex Jones/Infowars) accuses both Clintons of using the Clinton Foundation as a “personal piggy bank.” At the time he wrote the book, this was the worst stuff Corsi – a professional conspiranoid – could find about the Foundation. Isn’t it peculiar that just two months after the book’s publication, Twitter users will discover that the Foundation is actually just a front for a child sex ring?

The Wall Street Journal and other publications criticize the perceived “pay-for-play” nature of the Foundation as well, echoing Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump, while David Callahan renders more pragmatic views on what the Foundation does and how politicians interact with donors.

August 9, 2016: Future professional Pizzagater David Seaman uploads a weird post to his financial blog on Huffington Post, “What Happened to Bitcoin and David Seaman?” In this post, Seaman addresses rumours (not specified) that have been circulating about him, and laments that one cannot address “every conspiracy theory or half-baked Reddit post about yourself once you become a public personality.”

Right you are, self-obsessed cryptocurrency dude.

He then goes on to chronicle all the ways in which various people, notably broadcaster Joe Rogan, supposedly screwed him over in 2016. He claims he was promised a regular guest spot on Rogan’s show, in which he would discuss the latest political scandals, only to be ghosted by Rogan as soon as Bitcoin took a plunge in value. He blames such betrayals for his “declining health.” He even shits on his parents at one point.

This incredibly bizarre post ends with the opinion that John McCain’s daughter is “fat, entitled, intellectually empty.”

Just think about this post for a second. Imagine that you want to catch up on the latest crytocurrency trends, and a buddy tells you, “Oh, hey, check out David Seaman’s Huffpo blog.” So you go there and find…whatever the hell this is. I mean, damn. Get yourself together, man.

August 29, 2016: David Seaman uploads a YouTube video about another betrayal…by HuffPo. He claims he has been summarily fired for posting a piece questioning the state of Hillary Clinton’s health.

He then gets ridiculous, telling his audience, “I’m doing this video also to say, I’m not suicidal right now. I am not a particularly clumsy person. I don’t own a car at the moment. So if I’m to slip in the shower over the next couple of days or something silly like that, you have to really employ probability and statistics here because I’m not a clumsy person, right, and I’m also not a depressed person right now.”

Thus begins Seaman’s descent into sitting at home drinking beer all day and concocting revenge plots (if he wasn’t at that stage already). At least, that’s the story you’ll hear from Pizzagaters and Seaman himself.

The truth is that Seaman continued to blog at Huffpo throughout 2016 and 2017. He was not fired. And he’s still alive.

October 10, 2016: What Does It Mean publishes a story claiming Israeli intelligence possesses a videotape of  Bill Clinton raping a 13-year-old girl. The author cites a “Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) report circulating in the Kremlin.” Supposedly, this videotape was made by the Clothing Shop Network, a shadowy Mossad operation that doesn’t actually exist. The operation’s main “organizer/facilitator” is the “international money man of mystery Jeffery Epstein [sic].”

This all rests on unconfirmed rumours that Epstein had some connection to the Mossad and/or was busted as the result of a Mossad frameup, rumours that are too silly to even address. For years, Epstein relied on young Florida women to procure even younger Florida women for him. The girls were told they were going to be paid to give Epstein massages (which was true some of the time). Epstein was not framed. His arrest was the result of a three-year investigation.

“Clothing Shop Network” is probably a reference to the fact that one of Epstein’s friends and business mentors, Leslie Wexford, is CEO of L Brands (the retailer behind Victoria’s Secret, La Senza and many other mall chains).

October 12, 2016: A pseudo-Anonymous (not affiliated with the semi-official Anonymous YouTube channel) releases a video echoing, almost verbatim, the make-believe What Does It Mean story. Israeli intelligence taped Bill Clinton raping a 13-year-old, Hillary Clinton was able to keep the video under wraps for years, yadda yadda.

The video then gets pretty weird. Fake Anonymous informs us that after learning her husband had been secretly videotaped with children, Hillary Clinton decided to run for president and “set up Donald Trump as a strawman Pied Piper opponent.” She chose Trump because he also knew Epstein, and would therefore go down in flames. However, unbeknownst to Clinton, Trump was clean; he was basically the only prominent person in the whole nation who refused to cavort with Epstein’s underage girls.

The official Anonymous website never publishes anything about this Bill Clinton video. However, official Anonymous videos hint throughout the month of October that Anonymous will be releasing an explosive October surprise of its own, and they critically analyze Clinton’s health and alleged terrorist ties.

October 28, 2016: FBI Director James Comey informs Congress he is reopening the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails. The reason: Emails of potential interest have been found on a computer belonging to disgraced former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner, the then-estranged husband of Clinton aide Huma Abedin.

Many Democrats consider this a dick move, an October surprise strategically timed to sabotage any shot Clinton had at the White House. But that’s a whole ‘nother conspiracy theory.

Oct. 29, 2016: On THEE Rant, a web forum for New York City police officers, someone with the username “Fatoldman” posts that he/she has a “hot rumor” about the reopened FBI investigation:

“[T]he feds were forced to reopen the hillary email case [because] apparently the NYPD sex crimes unit was involved in the weiner case. On his laptop they saw emails. [T]hey notified the FBI. Feds were afraid that NYPD would go public so they had to reopen or be accused of a coverup.”

Fatoldman’s extremely vague, unhelpful rumour (“they saw emails”) is promptly re-posted to a law enforcement group on Facebook.

It might have died there,  but then a mysterious (yet very popular) user called Eagle Wings tweets it.

Among Eagle Wings’ followers at the time are future deputy assistant to President Trump Sebastian Gorka and former national security adviser Gen. Michael Flynn, whose son’s later involvement in Pizzagate I have already mentioned in Part I.

Nobody seems to know who Eagle Wings actually is. Eagle Wings’ profile picture is of a middle-aged woman, and the caption beneath it is “USAF Vet believes Freedom Soars.” Rolling Stone consulted Samuel Woolley, a “leading expert in computational propaganda” and research director at the Institute for the Future’s Digital Intelligence Lab, for insight. Woolley examined Eagle Wings’ social media postings and concluded that “she” tweeted too frequently (more than 50,000 times since November 2015) to too many followers (120,000 as of November 2017) to be a solitary patriot; Eagle Wings is almost certainly a “highly automated account” and “part of a bot network” [note: the account is temporarily restricted as of this writing].

It doesn’t matter who or what Eagle Wings is, though, because her relatively innocuous message is about to be distorted beyond all recognition in an adult version of Telephone.

October 30, 2016 (about 10 hours after the “fatoldman” post on ThreeRant): Carmen Katz, a Facebook user based in Missouri, claims to have an NYPD source who told her the Weiner emails contain detailed information about the Clintons’ and Jeffrey Epstein’s involvement in an “International child enslavement and sex ring.” These emails – which never materialize – supposedly describe trips that the Clintons took on Epstein’s private plane [recall from the flight logs that Hillary wasn’t on the plane], and expand on Hillary’s “well documented predilection for underage girls.” (Rolling Stone later discovers that “Carmen Katz” may or may not be a sock puppet account created by an eccentric, conspiracy-minded lawyer living in Missouri).

Twitter user DavidGoldbergNY (true identity unknown) quickly backs up Katz’s post. His tweets suggest the Weiner emails are going to expose a child sex ring involving Hillary Clinton. DavidGoldbergNY cites NYPD rumours.

An anonymous Godlike Productions Forum user chimes in, claiming he/she also has inside information that a child sex/trafficking ring involving federal officials and the Clinton Foundation is about to about to be exposed.

November 1, 2016: The clickbait site Conservative Daily Post runs the story “Breaking: FBI confirms evidence of huge underground Clinton sex network,” in which it is claimed that an FBI source has revealed a “massive child trafficking and pedophile sex ring” in DC, “which they say was run directly with the Clinton Foundation as a front.”

SubjectPolitics.com runs a story with the headline “IT’S OVER: NYPD Just Raided Hillary’s Property! What They Found Will RUIN HER LIFE.” The photo that accompanies the story has nothing to do with a search of Hillary’s property, and there is no evidence that anyone searched Hillary’s property. The story is, in fact, fake news (a term Pizzagaters initially loathed, but now use to label anything that is critical of their research).

The website True Pundit publishes a story stating that the NYPD is investigating emails that link Hillary to money laundering, sex with children, and other crimes. They cite anonymous FBI and police sources.

Even though they are worthless, these stories are shared over and over again, giving the emerging “sex ring” rumour some legs.

DavidGoldbergNY crows that True Pundit has confirmed his October 30th tweet.

November 2, 2016:  The clickbait fake news site Christian Times Newspaper (not to be confused with the Christian Times) posts a wholly fabricated story about an NYPD investigation into allegations that Bill Clinton sexually abused girls ranging from 5-14 years of age. Again, anonymous NYPD sources are cited.

“Now, sources within the NYPD are saying their investigation has evolved to focus on Clinton exclusively after several of the emails found on disgraced former Congressman Anthony Wiener’s laptop implicate Clinton in an international child sex ring.”

November 3, 2016: In a video that has since been deleted, another pseudo-Anonymous unaffiliated with the official Anonymous YouTube channel announces that on November 5th, it will be releasing information that shows “who the real criminals are, and it’s something much darker than we thought.”

The culprits will include Bill and Hillary Clinton, the Clinton Foundation, and “21 individuals ranging from the DNC, FBI, CIA.”

“The new leaks being released this week will provide documents in the form of emails, pictures, and videos. Within these will be evidence of Bill Clinton, as well as at least 6 other Government officials, taking part in acts with minors. As well as evidence of Human trafficking that also included minors.

We believe these pictures and videos were taken for the purpose of political manipulation. In order to make sure all participants followed through on a previously agreed agenda.

These documents were given to us by an American Government official when he had come to learn that this crime had been covered up by Hilary and her staff through methods including bribery and blackmail. He also told us that due to the restricted access to these documents, they would soon know he was the one who released him to us.

We tried to make arrangements for him to exit the country safely, but he was killed before those arrangements could be carried out. We are still not sure if this is because they became aware of the leak, or if they were scared that he may in the future. In either case, his identity will be made public in this next set of leaks so that he can be honored for the hero that he was.”

Pseudo-Anonymous never releases the documents.

NOVEMBER 3-4, 2016: PIZZAGATE IS BORN

November 3: Wikileaks publishes volume 28 of the stolen Podesta emails.

One hour after volume 28 of the emails hits Wikileaks, the popular Twitter personality Jared Wyand becomes the first person to suggest that the copious references to food, particularly pizza, in the Podesta emails could actually be code words related to a pedo/trafficking ring.

Wyand tweets a list of “code words” related to pizza and other foods, urging other users to search for those words in the Podesta emails. It’s not clear where he got these code words within one hour, but Jared Wyand makes a grandiose statement that becomes a war cry for thousands: “We are uncovering a child sex ring.” We’ll discuss the code words, and Wyand’s rapid decline, in Part IV of this post.

People obediently begin searching for hints of human trafficking activity in the Podesta emails leaked by Wikileaks. They don’t find anything that directly references human trafficking (or any criminal activity, for that matter), but they do find the code words.

Project Astral” is the first Reddit user to make hay with the “Spirit Cooking” done by Podesta’s artist friend, Marina Abramović. He/she claims there is a connection between Spirit Cooking and the occult, specifically Thelema and its Cakes of Light. A blog post later attempts to explain the logic behind this connection.

The alt media immediately pounces on Spirit Cooking. The Drudge Report, Alex Jones/Infowars and Mike Cernovich all point out how creepy it is, presenting it as a debauched and sinister activity with heavy-duty occult connections. Wikileaks even retweets a Change.org message about Spirit Cooking.

Reddit user “Pleading the Yiff” claims to discover a link between Hillary Clinton and Laura Silsby, an American woman jailed for possible child trafficking after the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. He titles his post “BREAKING: I believe I have connected a convicted child abductor who was caught stealing children in Haiti with the Clintons.” It is posted to the /r/The_Donald subreddit.

A short time later, WikiLeaks’ Twitter account tweets “Significant, if partisan, find showing how the Clintons supported child stealer Laura Silsby,” then links to Pleading the Yiff’s Reddit post. We’ll examine the “Silsby connection” in Part IV.

Mike Cernovich publishes a post on his blog stating that some of the Podesta emails point to occult practices and human trafficking:  “Podesta Spirit Cooking Emails Reveal Clinton’s Inner Circle as Sex Cult with Connections to Human Trafficking.”  He writes that “we should focus less on Clinton Cash style corruption and more on the Clinton Foundation’s sale of children to Saudi pedophiles.”

In other online posts and in a series of Periscope videos, Cernovich promotes the notion of a massive criminal conspiracy involving both Clintons and other prominent Democrats. This is right after the code words have been tweeted by Jared Wyand, so nothing pizza- or pasta-related is mentioned. Pizzagate hasn’t fully evolved yet. Interestingly, though, Cernovich mentions the Laura Silsby-related emails that Reddit user “Pleading the Yiff” claimed to “discover” a very short time earlier, showing just how rapidly information spread in the early days of Pizzagate. 

Note that the approach taken by Wyand and Cernovich is much different from that taken by the previous posters and tweeters. In the earliest days of Pizzagate, shadowy law enforcement sources and secret police investigations were always mentioned. Wyand and Cernovich, on the other hand, are among the first people to say, “Let’s investigate this ourselves”, implying that law enforcement couldn’t or wouldn’t do anything to halt the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrat juggernaut.

I don’t know precisely where Cernovich got his notion of Saudi pedophiles buying American children, but I will point out that the image of insanely wealthy, lecherous Arab men purchasing young, white women for their harems is a positively ancient trope. It played a key role in the “white slavery” panics that arose in the mid-nineteenth century and continued all the way through WWI. Throughout America and much of Europe, girls and their parents were warned of immigrants and criminal gangs that could drug unsuspecting teens, scoop them from the streets, and ship them off to the Middle East to be sold at auction to leering sheiks. Hell, Rudolph Valentino built a career on this.

Soon, there will be rumours that every single business on Connecticut Avenue, including Comet Ping Pong, is owned by Saudis. The notion that Saudi nationals are behind everything from Pizzagate to the recent Vegas shooting is extremely popular among Pizzagaters, and conspiracy theorists in general.

Meanwhile, the online Sherlocks conclude that some of Washington’s most prominent citizens could walk into  certain establishments and simply “order” young children off the menu for sex, using the code words. Why else would people email so incessantly about food? The first food-related reference to gain a lot of attention was the sentence “I’m dreaming about your hotdog stand in Hawaii…”, but the narrative quickly centres itself around pizza. The investigators begin using the hashtag #pizzagate on social media.

Discovering that John Podesta and his brother Anthony frequent Comet Ping Pong, the citizen investigators decide this restaurant must be the hub of the pedo/trafficking activity in DC.

Here is one of the earliest subreddit posts to link Podesta and family to the restaurant:

“Comet Pizza is a pizza place owned by James Alefantis, who is the former gay boyfriend of David Brock, the CEO of Correct The Record. It has been the venue for dozens of events for the Hillary campaign staff. John Podesta has had campaign fundraisers there for both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. John’s brother and business partner Tony Podesta has his birthday party there every year.” 

The investigators begin mining the current owner’s Twitter and Instagram accounts, as well as the restaurant’s menu, for codewords and clues. We’ll examine all the evidence they unearthed in Part IV.

November 4, 2016: Douglas Hagmann, a conspiranoid broadcaster, goes on The Alex Jones Show to discuss Pizzagate. Hagmann claims  he has sources inside the NYPD who are actively investigating the pedo ring, and those sources showed him evidence that included graphic photos. He produces a photo of a nude minor (censored from the video, of course) that he claims was discovered on Anthony’s Weiner’s phone. Why the fuck would Hagmann have this? Think about that. If the NYPD was handing out child porn to radio hosts, we should be concerned.

November 7, 2016: An /r/pizzagate subreddit is formed and rapidly mushrooms to 20,000 subscribers.

November 8, 2018: Donald Trump is elected as the 47th President of the United States. This delights most Pizzagaters on a number of levels, but what they’re most fervently hoping is that Trump and/or Putin will soon swoop in and arrest all the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats now that the Kenyan Guy is out of the way.

November 13, 2016: Monica Petersen, a Research Fellow and Assistant Director at the Human Trafficking Center, reportedly commits suicide in Haiti. Within three days of this young woman’s tragic death, Pizzagaters are haranguing the Center for information about her and accusing Hillary Clinton of having her murdered. Later in this series, we’ll look more closely at the Petersen case and the Pizzagate Body Count.

Mid-November 2016: David Seaman begins uploading videos about Pizzagate, and quickly becomes one of the most vocal Pizzagaters (if not the most productive). A Pizzagater named George Webb also begins posting videos (over 1200 to date) around this time, documenting his citizen investigation of the Clinton Foundation, the deaths of Seth Rich and Monica Petersen, etc.

Pizzagaters hurl a barrage of harassment at Comet employees, performers who have had gigs at Comet, artists with work on display at Comet, etc. Alefantis lays out thousands of dollars to beef up security at his restaurants. Other Connecticut Avenue businesses are also targeted for their supposed use of “pedo symbols” on their websites and signage.

Rumours fly of a tunnel system beneath Comet, a basement “kill room” and other secret spaces used by the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats to imprison, abuse and perhaps even eat their child victims.

The Pizzagate hypothesis blooms like black mold all over Reddit, Voat, Steemit, 4chan, YouTube, Twitter and its racist shadow Gab, alt-right/white supremacist sites, far-right alt news sites, and of course the clickbait sites. What human Pizzagaters don’t do, bots and foreign fake news factories do for them (Turkey and Russia are the most active countries in amplifying Pizzagate-related “news”).

November 16, 2016: Professional Twitterdouche Jack Posobiec goes to Comet to investigate and livestreams his investigation to Periscope. He finds a lot of people eating pizza and a children’s birthday party. He is asked to leave. Pizzagaters respond to this 18-minute waste of time like it’s a 60 Minutes exposé.

November 18, 2016: Yournewswire.com, another clickbait “news” site (run by Sean Adl-Tabatabai), posts a story with the headline “FBI: Rumors About Clinton Pedophile Ring Are True.” The story cites only one source: FBIAnon, the 4chan user who mentioned pedo rings back in July. Yournewswire becomes one of the prime sources of information for Pizzagaters, but its stories don’t become any more factual.

I think it goes without saying that the FBI was not interested in Pizzagate. You can’t investigate “this guy mentions food too often in his emails.”

November 23, 2016: Alarmed by all the doxing of Pizzagate suspects that is occurring at /r/pizzagate in spite of a warning to users not to post private information, Reddit shuts down the subreddit. Naturally, this leads to cries of censorship, cover-up, political persecution, yadda yadda. Some Pizzagaters (inaccurately) declare the ban to be the largest in Reddit’s history. However, the Pizzagaters immediately move over to Voat, Steemit and numerous other social media platforms and continue their investigation without interference.

A lot of up-and-coming alt-right commentators – as well as the old salts of conspiranoia culture –  use Pizzagate to punch up their Twitter feeds, drive traffic to their YouTube channels, and get their names out there. Then, when they begin to realize there are meatspace implications to making human trafficking allegations against strangers, some of them start to gently disengage themselves from the core allegations. Others double down.

November 21, 2016: The New York Times publishes the first major debunking of Pizzagate. But like I said in Part I, you can’t debunk something that’s so fact-free in the first place.

Early December 2016: Alarmed and driven to action by all the online Pizzagate “news” he’s seeing, Edgar Welch drives 260 miles from his home near Durham, North Carolina to DC to investigate Comet Ping Pong. He brings with him an AR-15 rifle and two other guns. En route, he records a farewell message to his family.

December 4, 2016: Alex Jones’ InfoWars website posts a YouTube video titled “Haiti PIZZAGATE: Death of Child Trafficking Investigator.” It claims Monica Petersen “had just begun investigating the correlation regarding the Clinton Foundation’s Caracol Industrial Park Complex and its connection to a human trafficking network when her life was cut short.”

All of these statements will turn out to be incorrect. Petersen was very active in raising awareness about human trafficking, but her primary focus was on labor trafficking involving adult men and women. She had even expressed some annoyance at the fact that labour trafficking, which is rampant, does not receive the same amount of public concern and attention that sex trafficking attracts. The Clinton Foundation connection that Jones mentions was posted by one of Petersen’s friends on Facebook. Petersen was not in Haiti to investigate anything. She had voiced intentions to set up an NGO there.

December 4, 2016: Edgar Welch walks into Comet Ping Pong armed with a .38-caliber Colt revolver, his Colt AR-15 rifle strapped across his chest. He aims the rifle at an employee. The employee flees and phones police. Welch pokes around the restaurant a bit, finds nothing of interest, then discharges his weapon three times. He is promptly arrested by DC police.

After the shooting, Alex Jones defends Pizzagate researchers and urges them to carry on their important work.

December 6, 2016: The Washington Post publishes its first story about Pizzagate and the Welch shooting.

December 13, 2016: Alex Jones takes the unprecedented measure of scrubbing some of his videos and articles about Pizzagate from Infowars and related websites, evidently concerned that he will be one of the conspiranoids linked to the shooting.  In the past, he has shrugged off similar allegations. Now, however, he has more mainstream support and attention thanks to Donald Trump being a guest on his program in late 2015. He can’t take the risks he used to take.

Now that he actually likes a U.S. president-elect and has his ear, Jones eases back on the New World Order a tad and resorts to sobbing over genetically-modified fishpeople in Europe.

Early 2017: Not content to speculate about Hillary Clinton having Parkinson’s, a few Pizzagaters propose that she has Kuru, the “cannibal disease”, from the ritual consumption of bodily fluids and/or children during Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrat ceremonies or whatever.

January 17, 2017: Benn Swann, a reporter for Atlanta CBS affiliate WGCL-TV who can’t pass a conspiracy theory without fapping all over it, devotes one of his “Reality Check” segments to Pizzagate. It’s titled “Is Pizzagate ‘Fake News’ or Has It Just Not Been Officially Investigated?” That’s some false dichotomy, right thurr.

Swann claims he has spent a month investigating Pizzagate, yet brings nothing new to the table. He covers all the same “Isn’t this strange?” details that all Pizzagaters now trot out: the Podesta Code and the “disturbing art”, photos of kids on Instagram. He does not even attempt to explain how or why DC police should begin investigating John Podesta’s use of the word “walnuts” or why the owner of Besta Pizza uses a triangle shape on his menus.

This is just Swann being Swann. In every “Reality Check”, he regurgitates months-old conspiracy fodder and poses disingenuous questions about it. The entire concept for the segments seems to be “Stuff I Find on Reddit Looks Better In a Tie.”

Just like Michael Flynn, Swann pays a price for his dumbfuckery. WGCL-TV temporarily suspends him, and his social media accounts vanish. This is more than a little unfair, since it was the station bosses who greenlighted his segment, but whatever. Swann will return to the air, minus Reality Check, only to be fired for trying to independently produce Reality Check without his bosses’ knowledge.

January 20, 2017: Inauguration day.

A handful of religious protestors show up outside Comet to shout racist, anti-Muslim, and anti-LGTBQ phrases. Because, the children?

February 24, 2017: In another unprecedented move, Alex Jones uploads a video in which he qualifies some of the statements he and his guests have made about Pizzagate, trying to persuade his viewers that he was never really interested in the first place.

“I kind of picked up when the Washington Post, New York Times, all of them said – when I wasn’t even covering it – everybody says a pizza place is doing this to kids. And I was like, we never covered it. A pizza place? And I went, whoa, they’re in the news diverting us from all this other big stuff.”

Nice try, Angry Cashew. As I’ve already noted in this timeline, the Post ran its first Pizzagate story on December 6, a full month after Jones & Co. hopped on the pizza wagon. The Times ran its first piece on November 21, over two weeks after Jones uploaded his first Pizzagate video.

As soon as he distances himself, however, Jones jumps right back in. “I don’t think Alefantis over there, or any of those people in DC at that pizza place where Podesta goes – even though they’ve got weird acts there that people are like, ‘We like kids. That’s our preference. Yeah, we love kids.’ I don’t know what the hell that is. There’s a lot of weird crap going on.”

His “we love kids” comment is a reference to a cell phone video taken in the back room of Comet, which we’ll examine along with the other evidence in Part IV.

March 24, 2017: Edgar Welch pleads guilty to federal weapons charges. He is contrite and open about his storming of Comet Ping Pong, yet Pizzagaters insist he must have been a “crisis actor” or blackmailed patsy sent into the restaurant to discredit their incredibly fruitful investigation and protect the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats.

March 25, 2017: Alex Jones uploads a second video apology for previous Pizzagate comments. However, he refers only to the comments that related directly to Comet Ping Pong and James Alefantis and speaks in a stiff, unconvincing manner markedly different from his usual HOLYSHIT PEOPLE THEY’RE KILLING US WITH CHEMICALS style, making it comically obvious that Alefantis’s lawyers have contacted him. As it turns out, that’s precisely what happened. Alefantis was not impressed with Jones’ bullshit “apology” of February 24, and demanded a real retraction.

Also on this day, the first official Pizzagate protest occurs. Roughly 50 protestors assemble in Lafayette Square with Pizzagate T-shirts and protest signs to insist that Pizzagate is not fake news and must be investigated by law enforcement. One couple shows up with their kids in tow, all sporting “#Pizzagate” T-shirts. The event is organized by Neil Wolfe and another young Pizzagater. It is heavily promoted by David Seaman. Unlike the hateful fucks that showed up outside Comet on Trump’s inauguration day, these people express genuine concern for the welfare of children and are baffled at the public’s lack of concern. A few identify themselves as survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

May 18, 2017: After a concert in Detroit, Soundgarden singer Chris Cornell hangs himself in his hotel room.

Later that day, the Wayne County Medical Examiner’s Office confims that his death was the result of suicide.

20 July 2017: Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington hangs himself in his home near Los Angeles.

21 July, 2017: The L.A. County Coroner’s Office confirms that Bennington’s death was the result of suicide.

Later in the day, the ultra-fake “news” site YourNewsWire (now a fave of Pizzagaters) posts a story reporting that Chester Bennington  was murdered in similar fashion to his friend, Chris Cornell, and police are investigating his death as a homicide in spite of the judgment of suicide.

The two men had been friends, and copycat suicides are not uncommon in circles of friends.

Within two days of Bennington’s death, Pizzagaters are pointing out his resemblance to John Podesta (which doesn’t go far past “same haircut and glasses”) and trying to prove that he might be Podesta’s son. They are also claiming that Bennington and Cornell were about to reveal “something big” about celebrity pedophiles.

Chester’s not his son, doy. They’re just played by the same crisis actor.

And this is where the timeline shall end. It’s not that things haven’t happened in the year since Wolfe’s “march on the White House.” It’s just that nothing new has happened. Pizzagaters still rely on the code words, anonymous 4chan “insiders”, clickbait headlines, their own interpretations of various works of art and music videos, etc.

Pizzagate and related faux scandals are now being shared with the hashtags “follow the white rabbit” and “the storm is coming” (a reference to a cryptic comment dropped by Trump during an October 15, 2017, speech).

Many of the tweets that use the White Rabbit hashtag also reference #QAnon or simply Q. What is that? Or, more accurately, who is it? On October 28, 2017, someone identifying only as “Q” began posting a string of mysterious messages to a 4chan /pol/ thread titled “Calm Before the Storm.” Q is supposedly a government insider with Q clearance leaking information about Trump’s super-secret plan to launch a counterattack on the Deep State entities that are supposedly trying to unseat him.  So he’s the new FBIAnon, basically, only with a security clearance.

Q made a few references to Alice in Wonderland, which inspired the White Rabbit hashtag. We all know how much these gray suit types love to quote children’s literature and/or The Matrix, right? Remember when Mark Felt wanted to be called Mr. Toad, but Bernstein insisted on Deep Throat?

QAnon is the hot new girl in town, but in Facebook groups and Voat threads, the ground troops of Pizzagate still search for hard evidence of child molestation and trafficking. You know, like pizza emojis.

As I write this in early 2018, Pizzagaters are mobbing up on model/TV show host Christine Teigen, analyzing her social media accounts for incriminating child-molesting stuff. Apparently, this began when Teigen posted photos of her 1-year-old daughter’s 2017 Halloween costumes: Alice in Wonderland and a hot dog. Then she tweeted something about “pedolite” not tasting very good. This was clearly a reference to the infant hydration formula Pedialyte, designed for sick infants, which has become a trendy hangover cure among celebs and their wannabes.

But in the eyes of Pizzagaters, it’s solid evidence that Teigen is somehow involved with the Pizza Ring. When her husband, singer John Legend, warned professional Pizzagater/”journalist” Liz Crokin to cease her verbal attacks on his family or face a lawsuit, Crokin snapped back that Legend and Teigen are affiliated with people she suspects of being in the Pizza Ring, in a weak attempt to justify her behaviour. In Pizzagate land, it’s a crime just to know people who might be involved with some criminal enterprise that might exist (even though there’s no real evidence of it).

Oprah also came under immediate heavy fire from Pizzagaters after her 2018 Golden Globes address, in which she (along with everybody else on the planet) denounced sexual harassment in the entertainment industry and praised women who have come forward with allegations after years of silence.

You would think that Pizzagaters would wholeheartedly support this message, but they didn’t. That’s because the professional-grade speech Oprah gave sparked rumours that she is planning to run for the presidency. That is pure speculation on the part of the media, yet Pizzagaters are zooming ahead to the conclusion that Oprah will run and must be stopped. So, they’re crafting stories that Oprah was a procurer for Harvey Weinstein, tricking young starlets into meeting with him and essentially grooming them for sexual exploitation. There have been no such real-life allegations against Oprah, and the stories being shared in Pizzagate forums are clickbait garbage juice.

One fake article declares that actress Kadian Noble has publicly accused Oprah of working with Weinstein to ensnare her for an alleged 2014 sexual assault, but Noble has not said any such thing.

One widely-shared photo of actress/singer Rita Ora shows Weinstein leaning over her as she sits with Oprah; this is presented as evidence that Oprah delivered young, vulnerable females to Weinstein, and Ora is characterized as a wide-eyed child. In reality, Ora is a self-confident, mature woman who has spoken out against Weinstein’s sexually predatory behaviour towards her. Like Noble, she has not mentioned Oprah.

As you can see, Pizzagaters are still cranking out the memes. Perhaps one of the most baffling “Pedogate” images is a photo of Steven Spielberg posing with child stars Drew Barrymore and Heather O’Rourke. The only text on the image is “ASK STEVEN WHAT HAPPENED TO HEATHER.” Various threads on Voat attempt to prove to you that Spielberg is a child molester, citing comments made by Crispin Glover and allegations made by one Dean Henry, as well as a blog that appears to be written by someone who considers Michael Jackson a messiah.

I will only address the Glover thing. First of all, Glover hates Spielberg and sued him for using his image without his consent in Back to the Future II (a good move, frankly). Secondly, the “allegation” that Pizzagaters quote is actually just an excerpt from a satirical/rhetorical series of questions that Glover posed in connection with his art film What Is It? Thirdly, and definitely most importantly in the context of Pizzagate, Glover is the proud owner of a painting that depicts a fully nude, prepubescent Shirley Temple tricked out in Nazi accessories, holding a bullwhip against her genitals. He purchased this when Shirley Temple Black was still alive, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t ask her permission to use her image before he allowed publishers to reprint the painting.

A Steemit thread suggests that Heather O’Rourke may have been murdered as part of a “Pedogate coverup.” The author got his info from a blind item by popular “inside scoop” Hollywood blogger ENT LAWYER, whose single anonymous source clams that Heather O’Rourke died not from septic shock brought on by a bowel obstruction, but as a result of a sexual assault on the set of a TV series, Rocky Road. The source is supposedly a woman who was about 12 at the time of Heather’s death and was working as an actress on the same set. There is speculation that this source is Devon Odessa, a former child actress who appeared in Rocky Road.

This story doesn’t work. O’Rourke was very sick the day before her death (February 1, 1988), and had been sick for the month prior to her death. She would not have been filming. Even if she had been filming and the septic shock was caused from an assault-related injury inflicted in late January, death probably would have been faster. She would not have lingered for two days. The cause of her death is well-documented and even formed the basis of a lawsuit filed against her doctors by her mother.

Common sense and facts won’t stop the pizzaroller, though. Hundreds of thousands of people all over the world remain dedicated to rooting out the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats among us, and when the standards of evidence are so low, there’s a lot to find.

So now you have a fairly good overview of  some of the key personalities and events of Pizzagate and its clones, Pedogate and “The Storm.” Maybe you’ve also read Buzzfeed‘s timeline, or the Washington Post‘s takedown, or the more recent Rolling Stone article. But if you’re not in the trenches, there’s some stuff you probably don’t know about Pizzagate.

 

Part III
Some Stuff You Probably Don’t Know About Pizzagate

 

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Pizzagate: Attack of the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats

PART I: Overview

The 411 and the Major Playersuntitled-1Hans and I are back after a two-year hiatus, and we have been eating a lot of pizza lately. Why can’t the global elite operate their child trafficking rings out of juiceterias? #smoothiegate

Fifteen months have passed since Pizzagate first blew up all over social media, and most sources critical of Pizzagate use the past tense, telling you that Pizzagate was a theory that emerged during the 2016 presidential race, that people believed Hillary Clinton was involved in a vast child-trafficking network centred around casual dining in Washington, DC., etc.

Don’t be fooled. Pizzagate is still here, and Pizzagate will always be here. It is part of us now. For decades to come, it’s going to serve as another example of things They got away with doing under our noses. It will contribute to outbursts from citizens outraged by how evil the world has become. It will cause tears and heartbreak to Facebook users who can’t stop thinking about the terrified, vulnerable children locked up in freezers beneath bistros. Calling Pizzagate “debunked”, “discredited”, “fake” or “unfounded” isn’t going to change its real-world impact at all.

So let’s deal with it.

Before we dive in, let’s get one thing straight: I don’t care how you feel about Pizzagate. I don’t care what your instincts are telling you. I don’t care what your political affiliation is. We are going to deal primarily with the straight facts of this matter – the artwork, the tweets, etc.

Lurking in forums and social media groups over the past year, we have seen hundreds of pages of information related to the occult, weird art, human trafficking, pedophilia, and arcane symbology. What haven’t we seen? Evidence that you can take to the bank. In fact, there is so little concrete evidence here that Pizzagate can’t even be classified as a conspiracy theory at this point. It’s more like a conspiracy hypothesis. Once you dig past the hoaxes, misinformation, and irrelevant material, you’re left with little more than, “Wow, the Podesta brothers really like food.”

This isn’t anything like the “Franklin cover-up” quagmire, which is dense with accusations and counter-accusations, lawsuits and confessions. Here, the evidence is so thinly layered that you hit bedrock almost as soon as you start digging.

“Is this all there is?” you ask.

“Connect the dots,” the Pizzagaters urge. “Wake up.”

So why am I even bothering with this topic at such a late date? Well, first of all, Pizzagate became a global phenomenon, and its core claims are certainly serious enough to warrant scrutiny. Secondly, the formation and dizzying growth of the Pizzagate hypothesis is a fascinating, convoluted tale that tells us a great deal about ourselves: our history, our weaknesses, our information culture. Thirdly, Pizzagate is history. It overlaps with one of the strangest political atmospheres in U.S. memory, as well as the emergence of peculiar neo-nativist movements and ugly sexual scandals, both real and imagined.

Most importantly, Pizzagate has not really been examined in a concise, critical manner. Snopes took a shot, but kept it very brief as per their short-form debunking style. Saying “Comet Ping-Pong doesn’t have a basement” is not enough anymore. BuzzFeed and Rolling Stone zeroed in on how Pizzagate began and how misinfo was disseminated by bots and Twitter patriots, without discussing the actual hypothesis itself in any depth. The Washingon Post has run several stories focusing on the weirdity of Pizzagate, as though it’s a singular event in the history of American conspiranoia (it’s not). The New York Times assembled a decent overview, but couldn’t get into too many details.

In this series, I’m going to give you a detailed timeline of events,  show you historical parallels to Pizzagate hysteria that will put it into some context, and expose how a few obscure players manipulated us into being suspicious of mundane things. We’re going to examine the Pizzagate body count, the strangest sub-theories and virtually every smoking gun that has been presented by the Pizzagate community. I’ll even teach you how to become a Pizzagate investigator.

The 411

If you’re not familiar with Pizzagate, here’s the crux: According to many Internet denizens, a handful of code words in the leaked John Podesta emails have revealed the existence of an international child trafficking/prostitution ring made up of Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats.

This hypothetical “Pizza Ring”, as I’ll call it, is headquartered in or near a popular D.C. pizzeria called Comet Ping Pong, owned and operated by one James Alefantis. This popular Connecticut Avenue eatery, opened in 2006, regularly hosts musical performances and political fundraisers. It has a laid-back, hipstery vibe, with a room full of ping-pong tables and local art covering the walls (you’ll be reading a lot more about that). “Comet”, as it’s often called, was featured on an episode of the Food Network show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives in 2013.

The child slaves are supposedly brought to this location via a network of tunnels beneath the pizzeria, and may be held or abused in the basement of the restaurant. Some of the children are ritually sacrificed and/or consumed, because the Pizza Ring is part of a worldwide cult that does that sort of thing.

And they would’ve gotten away it with, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling Twitter users.

Thousands of people all over the world are now taking part in a crowdsourced citizen investigation of the Pizza Ring. Let’s call these investigators “Pizzagaters.” They have linked Pizzagate to alleged child trafficking in Haiti, several murders and suspicious deaths, and even sports injuries. Celebrity Pizzagaters include Roseanne Barr, James Woods and Kanye West.

Although it’s just a little over a year old, the Pizzagate hypothesis has already had real-world consequences:

  • A Trump transition team member probably lost his job over a Pizzagate-related Tweet. Trump loves his conspiracy theories, but it seems Pizzagate is a line in the sand for him. Michael Flynn, Jr. tweeted the following on November 2, 2017:pizzagate-michael-flynn-tweet“I want him fired immediately,” Trump reportedly declared. And that’s precisely what happened. Furthermore, the incident may have helped drive a wedge between Trump and Michael Flynn’s father, White House national security adviser Gen. Michael Flynn. We all know how that ended.
    Michael, Jr. is about as sharp as an egg. Last year, he used the hashtag #MuslimBan to discuss Trump’s executive order restricting immigration from several Muslim-majority, high-conflict nations. The administration obviously wasn’t keen to see this order characterized as a “Muslim ban”, so this time both Flynns deleted their Twitter accounts.
  • On December 4, 2016, a young man named Edgar Welch tried to intimidate the business owner, staff and patrons of Comet Ping Pong by firing a weapon three times in the restaurant. He said he was merely “investigating.” Most Pizzagaters insist this was a false flag incident staged by someone-or-other to rally public support for the Pizza Ring and shut down the citizen investigation. Welch originally entered a plea of not guilty, but later took  a plea deal. He is currently serving a four-year prison sentence for interstate transportation of a firearm and assault with a dangerous weapon.
  • D.C. police devoted manpower and resources to the shooting incident, threats made against business owners, and some of the allegations made online. The FBI’s Russian probe also investigated aspects of the allegations.
  • Internet broadcaster Alex Jones apologized for certain comments, for perhaps the first time ever, after he and a guest made weird and insupportable allegations against people around the time of the shooting incident. This “apology” was the direct result of threats of legal action. Currently, singer John Legend is also threatening legal action against Pizzagaters for claiming that he and his wife could be part of the Pizza Ring. Celebrities and politicians have long ignored the wackier conspiracy theories that adhere to them. Now that the fringe has gone mainstream, they can’t afford to do that. They’re fighting back and forcing alternative media to be more accountable for what they put out there.
  • Business owners and employees, friends and neighbours of the “suspects” and numerous artists have been harassed and slandered by people who think they must be Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats.
  • According to some, Pizzagate investigators fell victim to the “largest ban in the history of Reddit.” We’ll examine this claim later.
  • Law & Order: SVU based an episode entitled “Real Fake News” on Pizzagate, portraying the conspiracy theory as a plot cooked up by Russia to undermine the U.S and disgrace a Congressman. This is the only exposure to Pizzagate that many Americans have had, so it shouldn’t be taken lightly.
  • Hillary Clinton has made hay of it, even mentioning it in a commencement address.

Some Pizzagaters claim to have moved beyond the narrow confines of the Pizza Ring hypothesis, and prefer the term “Pedogate.” Bizarrely, though, highly specific allegations of sexual misconduct (such as those against senate candidate Roy Moore) don’t seem to bother them as much as sketchy rumours of possible sexual misconduct.

Dramatis Personae: The Accused

For this lineup, I’ve used memes actually shared in Pizzagate online communities. These images in no way reflect my personal attitudes or beliefs. I include them here as examples of how vicious, absurd and childish some of the Pizzagate accusations are. 

Keep in mind that these are definitely not the only people to be accused by Pizzagaters. They’re just the major players.

Marina Abramović, 71: A world-renowned performance artist who is friends with John Podesta and his brother, Anthony. She is perhaps best-known for her performance pieces entitled The Artist is Present, in which she sits silently in a chair while people say and do anything at all to her. But it was her quirky Spirit Cooking pieces that led Pizzagaters to the conclusion that the Podestas might be Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats. As we’ll see, the misrepresentations of Spirit Cooking as an occult ritual were crafted by alt media outlets.
Like most performance artists, Abramović has deliberately cultivated an unsettling, offbeat persona. She wears upside-down crosses, dyes her hair raven-black, and poses with goat horns, giving her a sort of posh Morticia Addams vibe.
Abramović has no criminal record and has never been implicated in a sex scandal.

James Alefantis, 43: Not only is Alefantis the owner of the restaurant at the centre of Pizzagate, he is an ex-boyfriend of David Brock, the founder of both Media Matters for America and the pro-Clinton super PAC Correct the Record (Alefantis and Brock dated c. 2007-2013). I mention this only because Pizzagaters bring it up continuously.
In 2009, Alefantis became the sole owner of both Comet and another Connecticut Avenue restaurant called Buck’s Fishing & Camping when co-owner/chef Carole Greenwood left the industry.
He has produced independent films and is extremely active in the D.C. arts scene.
He is a registered and active Democrat.
Alefantis’s various activities earned him the #49 spot in GQ‘s list of the 50 Most Influential People in D.C. back in 2012. A lot of Pizzagaters think this is weird, but there is one other restauranteur and a trio of party planners on the same list. GQ described Alefantis as a local bon vivant. 
Alefantis has no criminal record and has never been implicated in a sex scandal. Unless that thing with Brock’s other ex-boyfriend counts.

Hillary Clinton, 69: I don’t think this lady needs an introduction. Though she is not referenced in any of the “incriminating” Podesta emails, she is obviously thick as thieves with John Podesta (chairman of her 2016 presidential campaign). Clinton has no criminal record, but has been implicated as some sort of accessory-after-the-fact in several sexual assaults allegedly committed by her husband, and sundry other scandals. She has also been characterized as a lizard-woman, a closet lesbian, and a serial murderer who knows how to disguise assassinations as suicides.

[The artwork above is by Holocaust denier David Dees. I have written about Dees at Leaving Alex Jonestown.]

Jeffrey Epstein, 64: A wildly successful, deeply secretive financier and billionaire who split his time between New York, Florida, New Mexico, the Virgin Islands, and France. Like Clinton, Epstein doesn’t appear in any of the Pizzagate-related emails, but he was friendly with Bill Clinton. He is also friends with Prince Andrew, Alan Dershowitz, and thousands of other people.
Epstein is the only major Pizzagate figure with a criminal record. In 2008, after a three-year investigation by Palm Beach police, he was convicted of soliciting an underage female prostitute. Numerous young women have accused him of paying them for sexual favours and/or sexually molesting them when they were as young as 14, though no criminal charges have been laid in relation to those allegations.

John Podesta, 68: Podesta is a major Democratic player. He served as chief of staff to President Clinton and Counselor to President Barack Obama before becoming chairman of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 presidential campaign. He serves on more boards and councils than you can possibly imagine.
In March 2016, he fell prey to a phishing scam that gave unidentified hackers access to his Gmail account. Wikileaks subsequently obtained these emails and published them online in 28 batches, or volumes, between October 7 and November 4, 2016. A small number of these emails form the dark nucleus of Pizzagate.
Podesta has no criminal record and has never been implicated in a sex scandal.

Anthony Podesta, 73: John Podesta’s only sibling, and a heavy political hitter in his own right, Tony Podesta is a veteran D.C. lobbyist and art collector.

Podesta has no criminal record and has never been implicated in a sex scandal. He did step down from his position at the Podesta Group lobbying firm as a result of the FBI investigation into possible Russian tampering in the presidential election, and the Podesta Group shut down in late 2017.

Anthony Weiner, 52: Congressman who seemed to spend most of his time taking dick pics and sending them to many women – and one underage girl. For the latter activity, he got into a lot of trouble. His wife, Clinton aide Huma Abedin, has been named as a Pizza Ring member by some Pizzagaters.

In a sense, Pizzagate is the bastard child of Anthony Weiner, because the earliest online speculation about “something big” revolved around the FBI’s investigation of his emails. However, that probe didn’t yield anything big, so the rumour mill moved on to John Podesta’s emails in search of dirt.

On the surface, all of the people mentioned above are on the same page politically. Don’t be fooled. David Brock has harshly criticized Hillary Clinton’s campaign team, headed by John Podesta, for failing to get her into the White House. Tony Podesta stepped down from his post at the Podesta Group not because he was a subject of the FBI investigation, but because his company employed a Republican who was. Sure, Jeffrey Epstein was friendly with the Clintons – but he was also tight with Donald Trump. Real life does not always follow party lines.

Dramatis Personae: The Accusers, Investigators and Pizzagate Experts

Mike Cernovich: Cernovich is a right-wing internet personality very active on Twitter. In 2012 he set up the website Danger and Play, primarily as a forum for Men’s Rights topics. He was a loud voice throughout Gamergate. He says semen has magical, addictive properties and should be carefully guarded from semen-stealing whores (“whores” = women who are sexually active). He thinks white genocide is a thing. He makes sassy comments about rape and occasionally accuses people of supporting child molesters in order to get them fired. When he records his videos, he makes sure you can see his hawt Iranian wife lounging in the background (“See, I’m not racist!”). You know, the usual alt media hipster edgelord shit. It’s completely impossible to tell how much of Cernovich’s output is brand-building bluster and how much is genuine, so I won’t even waste your time with that.

During the 2016 election, Cernovich increasingly focused on the political scene (because Trump). His main contribution was insisting that Hillary Clinton had advanced Parkinson’s Disease. When that got stale, he become one of the first and most prominent “new right” voices to trumpet Pizzagate. In fact, he was so early to the game that it wasn’t even called Pizzagate yet. He continued to heavily promote the hypothesis for several months.

Since that time, Cernovich has eased back from Pizzagate as part of an effort to up his credibility. We’ll look more closely at his Pizzagate role in the next post.

Liz Crokin: Like David Seaman (see below), Crokin was a freelance journalist and is now a full-time Pizzagater.

Crokin claims that journalists who write about sex trafficking are being blacklisted, just as the editors at Townhall.com supposedly blacklisted her for writing about “Pedogate.” This echoes the Pizzagaters’ frequent cries of censorship and persecution, which usually turn out to be exaggerations. A Google news search for “sex trafficking” should reassure you that lots of journalists are still covering the topic. What Crokin omits from her blacklisting allegation is that Townhall stopped publishing her work after she jumped to the defense of professional troll Milo Yiannopoulos, devoting roughly a third of her “sex trafficking” article to how mean everybody was being to him. It’s possible that Townhall ditched Crokin for her inability to stick to a goddamn topic.

Prior to Pizzagate, Crokin wrote primarily for tabloid publications and sketchy websites. She has a history of dramatic and bizarre claims, some of them disguised as fiction. After breaking up with a wealthy older boyfriend in 2013, she published a political thriller entitled Malice in which the antagonist is a wealthy older man who abuses children, somehow gives his daughter Lyme Disease and slips ecstasy into his wife’s drinks. Crokin has accused her ex of giving her herpes that resulted in meningitis and brain damage. He has countered by alleging that Malice is a thinly disguised attack on him. Which, duh.

At one time, Crokin claimed that a sex tape of Hillary Clinton, Huma Abedin and an underage girl was soon going to emerge and blow the lid off the Pedogate scandal. This video was supposedly found on Anthony Weiner’s computer, in a file labled “Life Insurance.” Crokin is the only person to claim any knowledge of this video. Just like the video of Bill Clinton assaulting a 13-year-old girl, which we’ll cover in the next post, this video has never surfaced.

Currently, Crokin is clinging to the idea that the FBI’s Russia investigation will lead directly to Hillary Clinton.

The Drudge Report: Though Drudge never jumped all the way onto the pizza bandwagon, it gave the hypothesis a powerful kickstart with a re-post of an Infowars story headlined “WIKI WICCAN: PODESTA PRACTICES OCCULT MAGIC.”

alex-jones

Alex Jones, 44: The subject of one of my other (mostly defunct) blogs, Leaving Alex Jonestown, Jones is an Internet broadcaster who believes the Anti-Defamation League might have been behind the Holocaust Museum shooting and that France is genetically engineering fishpeople like Kevin Costner in Waterworld. He’s an avid Trump supporter. Like Cernovich, Jones took an intense interest in Pizzagate, then backed away from it. However, his early support for the Pizzagate hypothesis helped launch it into public consciousness, so his role cannot be overlooked.
Jones has no criminal record, and has not been implicated in a sex scandal, though he’s friends with Charlie Sheen but is currently being sued for racial discrimination and sexual harassment by two former employees.

At this time, Jones’ YouTube channel may be deleted. It was put on notice after he posted videos describing the Florida school shooting as fake and some of the teenage survivors as “crisis actors.”

Breitbart.com: Breitbart published a few articles on Pizzagate, but its main contribution to the hypothesis was the misconception that the late Andrew Breitbart exposed John Podesta as a human trafficker and pedophile all the way back in 2011. We’ll examine this utterly inaccurate bit of pizzalore in Part IV.

Brittany Pettibone: One of several twentysomething alt-right wannabes who attempted to boost themselves into the spotlight with Pizzagate, Pettibone has worked closely with white supremacists and believes in white genocide, while insisting she is not a racist. She was recently barred from entering the UK (Britain’s Home Office explained in a statement that it has the power “to refuse entry to an individual if it is considered that his or her presence in the UK is not conducive to the public good”). Tucker Carlson leapt to her defense. He presented her as just your average conservative journalist, which she is not. She is a cute little Nazi who gets far more attention than she has ever earned. That’s really all there is to say about her.

Jack Posobiec: Basically Mike Cernovich in a different skinsuit.

Chances are that any goofball conservative PR stunt you’ve heard about in the past year and a half had something to do with this guy.  In November 2016 he showed up at an anti-Trump rally with a “Rape Melania” poster. A month later, he used his Twitter powers for evil and convinced most Trump supporters – without presenting a crumb of evidence – that Disney had hastily added anti-Trump scenes to Rogue One. This culminated in the Twitter ban of another central Pizzagater, Jared Wyand (see below).

Posobiec’s primary contribution to Pizzagatery was his live-streamed “investigation” of Comet Ping Pong. He found nothing of interest and was asked to leave the restaurant for attempting to broadcast a child’s birthday party.

guy-fawkes

Pseudo-Anonymous: Who the hell knows who this is? Could be anybody. Anonymous, as you know, is a collective of hacktivists who release videos via a semi-official YouTube channel and occasionally organize mass actions dealing with everything from Scientology to Australian porn. But pseudo-Anonymous groups proliferate online, and (as we’ll see) their stances are often at odds with the real Anonymous. In this post, I have tried to differentiate between pseudo-Anonymous groups and Anonymous, but it’s not always an easy thing to do.

David Seaman: All of Seaman’s earliest Pizzagate videos have been removed from YouTube, but the former freelance journalist has still churned out an incredibly high volume of Pizzagate-related videos in the past year. I don’t think it would be exaggeration to say that Pizzagate is his life now.

Seaman got his start in journalism by landing an internship at Jezebel in 2007. His bosses immediately tired of his childish self-absorption. He then wrote two books about self-promotion, including How to Be a Publicity Whore (2008), and became something of an expert on cryptocurrency.

In 2016, he was publishing a HuffPo finance blog. That’s where things went sideways. HuffPo supposedly fired him for posting too many stories about Hillary’s health during the 2016 election cycle, and he admittedly turned into a beer-swilling, unemployed mess. He grew determined to get revenge on “that bitch”, and Pizzagate was one of the last straws left to grasp. Seaman grasped it hard. As we’ll see in part II, though, Seaman was not actually fired by Huffpo.

At this time, Seaman is under a two-week YouTube ban for posting videos about the Florida school shooting being fake.

hillbilly

Edgar Welch, 29: North Carolina resident with no known connections to anyone in D.C.  (or anyone in this entire lineup, for that matter). On December 4, 2016, he entered Comet Ping Pong and fired three shots from an assault rifle after a failed attempt to find and rescue child slaves from the restaurant.

Welch has a criminal record that includes marijuana possession, a 2007 conviction for driving after consuming alcohol while under 21 and a 2013 conviction for driving under the influence, according to court records. In October 2016 he struck a kid with his car. We also know he worked on several student films between 2007-2009, and graduated from Cape Fear Community College in 2007. He has two kids with his girlfriend. He’s a registered Republican, but hasn’t expressed any political motivation. On his Facebook page, he posted things about Biblical prophecy and the coming of the Muslim Antichrist.

There are a lot of theories about Mr. Welch. Pizzagaters generally believe he was a government agent or a mind-controlled patsy sent to discredit their investigation. In my own view, Welch probably has some mental health issues and a good dose of Travis Bickle syndrome. He told police he brought the rifle with him to “help rescue” any children he found, and en route to D.C. he recorded a video message for his family, telling them he loved them and he hoped to be able to tell them that again.

Prior to entering Comet, Welch reportedly texted a friend that he was “Raiding a pedo ring, possibly sacraficing [sic] the lives of a few for the lives of many… I’m sorry bro, but I’m tired of turning the channel and hoping someone does something and being thankful it’s not my family. One day it will be our families. The world is too afraid to act and I’m too stubborn not to.” The text also mentions “Standing up against a corrupt system that kidnaps, tortures and rapes babies and children in our own backyard.”

Some Pizzagaters have followed the lead of Sandy Hook and Boston Bombing truthers by pointing to Welch’s handful of film credits and declaring him a “crisis actor”, hired by someone-or-other to impersonate a crazed gunman. This is unlikely. Welch has accepted responsibility for his actions and expressed regrets for the way he handled the situation. He is also serving four years in prison – a stiff price to pay for an acting gig.

Silhouette of a man in a business suit giving a shrug with a question mark

Social Media Users on Twitter, Gab, Voat, Steemit, YouTube, Reddit, etc.: The driving forces behind Pizzagate may or may not be using their real names online, as is their right. Therefore, we know little to nothing about them. We don’t know if any of them have criminal records, and we don’t know if they have been implicated in any sex scandals.

malfoy

Wikileaks and Julian Assange: Wikileaks and its founder don’t need an introduction, do they? Wikileaks is now the world’s largest repository for leaked, stolen and classified information that you’re probably not supposed to see. It has been instrumental in exposing injustices and dragging hidden information into the sunlight. It published the Podesta emails and took a keen interest in the early research of Pizzagaters.
Assange was accused of rape in Switzerland in 2010, and took refuge in the Embassy of Ecuador in London rather than submit to a Swiss police investigation. The Swiss investigation was dropped in May 2017, but Assange continues to reside at the Embassy to avoid bail-jumping charges.

Jared Wyand: Though Wyand is the second-most obscure online personality on this list (Ms. Pettibone being #1 with a bullet), he is more responsible for the creation of Pizzagate than any of them. He had a sizable Twitter following in late 2016, and he tweeted the mysterious, food-related “code words” that spurred people to comb through John Podesta’s emails in search of dirt and led to the “outing” of Comet Ping Pong as the spiritual headquarters of the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats.

Wyand subsequently freaked out over the anti-Trump scenes that weren’t even in Rogue One, and pitched a racist, anti-Semitic Twittertantrum that got him banned. He now posts at Gab, where he is openly a Holocaust denier and anti-Semite. We’ll see much more of him in Part IV (The Evidence).

Looking at this random assortment of characters, it’s difficult to comprehend how a conspiracy hypothesis involving all of them came to exist. To understand how Pizzagate  became a phenomenon, we have to review its troubling origins.

 

Part II
The Birth of an Hypothesis: The Pizzagate Timeline

 

 

Wednesday Weirdness Roundup: Slow News Week

As the U.S. seethes with racial tension, protestors swarm the streets of Hong Kong, and missiles gut Syria, a few intrepid journos have somehow managed to ferret out the real stories…

  • Say, does anyone remember the absurdly disappointing mystery of those invisible flying creatures known as “rods“? No? Well, let Oklahoma City’s News 9 take you back to ’97 with their hard-hitting report on bad photography.
rods

Fascinating.

Fry Screaming

IKR?

Alex Jones Explains Ebola

 

This “special report” on Ebola in the U.S. by Alex Jones was uploaded on Saturday. It’s clearly just a teaser for Sunday’s radio broadcast, but it’s worth examining here because it contains several of the absurd disease factoids that Jones repeats ad nauseum on his show – and we all know what can happen when people hear something repeated over and over, without much context or explanation: They start to believe it. So let’s break this down:

1.  Lyme disease is a weaponized, tick-borne strain of syphilis created at Plum Island and unleashed upon America.

First of all, Lyme disease and syphilis are not the same thing. They are both caused by spirochete bacteria, yes, but Lyme disease is just as closely related to obscure skin diseases like tropical yaws as it is to syphilis. Syphilis is sexier, so Jones went with that.

The Plum Island Animal Disease Center of New York is a government facility that researches livestock diseases, primarily foot-and-mouth in cattle. The only sinister thing about the place is that during the Cold War, bioweapons research (aimed at livestock, not humans) was conducted there. This dark phase of the lab’s history spawned the theory that Lyme disease spread from Plum Island in the mid-’70s, carried to mainland Connecticut by the wild birds that populate the area.  This theory gained prominience with the publication of attorney Michael Carroll’s 2004 book  Lab 257: The Disturbing Story of the Government’s Secret Plum Island Germ Laboratory, which practically debunked itself.

2.  Biosafety level 4 labs are surrounded by minefields and machine gun nests, and can be incinerated with “huge canisters of natural gas” at the push of a button in case of accidental contamination.


cdc_explosion
Are BSL-4 labs rigged to self-incinerate in an emergency? Politifact Georgia has already tackled this subject in regards to CDC headquarters in Atlanta (and if the CDC isn’t designed to be incinerated, it’s doubtful that any federally-funded lab in the U.S. is). CDC spokesperson Karen Hunter told Politifact that materials are burned, but it’s not what Jones has in mind. Researchers simply decontaminate with common household cleaning products like bleach, then toss the cloths they’ve used into an incinerator.

If you want to see the real safety measures taken at Level 4 facilities, check out this 60-minute video tour of Boston University’s NEIDL lab. Note that BU is a weapons-free campus, as is the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston (where another BSL-4 lab is situated). Machine guns and landmines would not go over well at these locations. BSL-4 security precautions include much saner things like rigorous screening, perimeter fences and manned gates, and surveillance cams.

3.  A truck accident exposed Americans to “weaponized flu” 7 years ago.

I can’t find any evidence of such a thing happening. Jones is probably referring to a 2005 Canadian incident in which a FedEx truck carrying anthrax, influenza, and other germ specimens crashed in Winnipeg. There was no “weaponized flu” involved. All of the germs were weakened enough to be nonlethal even if they had escaped their shipping containers, which they didn’t.

4.  Mousepox is deadlier than Ebola, and scientists have released the “ingredients list” for it.

Mousepox is a mouse disease. Humans can’t get it. There is no “ingredients list”, because it is a naturally occurring disease. Jones seems to be confusing a controversial mousepox experiment with a 2012 debate over whether scientists should go public with the results of their research into H5N1.

5.  Professor Eric Pianka wants to unleash airborne Ebola on the world for real.

This is clearly a reference to the infamous comments made by University of Texas-Austin professor Eric Pianka back in 2006, one of Jones’ favourite bits of “evidence” that They are plotting to wipe out all but 1% of the world’s population. I’ve discussed this before at Leaving Alex Jonestown. The bottom line is that Pianka is a herpetologist, not a biochemist, and he was referring to a naturally occurring (not to mention fictional) strain of Ebola in a rhetorial manner.

6.  Eugenics/depopulation master plan: The elite want to eliminate up to 99% of the world’s population.

worldpop

Nope.

 

The Health Ranger Might Want to Kill You

 

zyklon        potato

 

Mike “Health Ranger” Adams is on the warpath. The frequent guest host of The Alex Jones Show has enjoyed an unprecedented amount of mainstream attention this year, even appearing on Dr. Oz’s TV show in May to discuss his shiny new “food lab” (where he diligently searches for trace amounts of heavy metals in processed foods and beverages). But Adams has a deeply paranoid side, and that side came out roaring last week. On Monday, July 21, he published a glorious example of Godwin’s Law on his Natural News website: “Biotech genocide, Monsanto collaborators and the Nazi legacy of ‘science’ as justification for murder.”
In the tradition of Ben Stein’s “science leads to killing people“, this piece argues that biotech in the food industry is analogous to the (pseudo)science used to justify the Holocaust. Publications that support GMOs, then, are every bit as bad as the German institutions that funded Nazi medical experiments – they are “Monsanto collaborators”, in Adams’ words. Journalists who criticize the Food Babe, Dr. Mercola, or Adams himself are members of a “radical cult”, enablers of “GMO genocide.”

As always, Adams’ evidence that GMOs are deadly is absurdly thin. He cites the Seralini rat study as proof that GMOs cause cancer, and that’s basically it. This article isn’t any different from all his other anti-GMO rants, until he gets to the part about a recent speech by German President Joachim Gauck, in which Gauck commended the key players in Operation Valkyrie (the failed attempt to assassinate Hitler in 1944). Adams interprets Gauck’s central message thusly:

it is the moral right — and even the obligation — of human beings everywhere to actively plan and carry out the killing of those engaged in heinous crimes against humanity.” (emphasis in original)

He goes on to list some Monsanto collaborators (wiki editors, leftist publications, food companies, etc.) before issuing a call to arms, encouraging someone to

“create a website listing all the publishers, scientists and journalists who are now Monsanto propaganda collaborators. I have no doubt such a website would be wildly popular and receive a huge influx of visitors, and it would help preserve the historical record of exactly which people contributed to the mass starvation and death which will inevitably be unleashed by GMO agriculture (which is already causing mass suicides in India and crop failures worldwide).”

Someone heeded that call almost instantly. Just as Tea Party websites popped up within 24 hours of Rick Santelli’s CNBC rant back in 2009, a Monsanto Collaborators site manifested just days after the Health Ranger’s creepy Nazi article was posted. It features an image of Auschwitz, superimposed with the names of several journalists and science writers who have criticized anti-GMO activism, defended GMOs, or questioned the Seralini study. There are links to stories about the “GMO” suicides among Indian farmers (a myth that has been debunked here, here, and here), and an ominous declaration that “responsibility for these deaths falls upon those individuals and organizations shown on this site.”

This is precisely what Adams wanted to see. In his July 21st article, he expressed the hope that the anti-GMO community will spawn a few Simon Wiesenthals, willing to track down Monsanto collaborators so they can be brought to justice. It should be noted that he attempted to soften his Valkyrie analogy by stating that he does not condone vigilante action, and would simply like to see Nuremberg-style trials for cereal manufacturers and science reporters.
Adams warned that anyone who becomes a Monsanto hunter should hide behind total anonymity, for his very life will be in danger. And that’s exactly what the creator of the Monsanto Collaborators site tried to do.

Here’s where things get a little weird. Adams, in an update to his article, stridently denies that he played any part in the website’s creation, and even urges his fellow activists to avoid it. Being a seasoned conspiracy theorist, he reasons that Monsanto Collaborators was put up by the “biotech mafia” to discredit anti-GMO activists (he also believes the biotech industry ensnares journalists and activists in elaborate sexual blackmail schemes, in order to turn them into shills). However, the Genetic Literary Project claims it has confirmed that Adams is the financial backer of the new website. Sadly, they haven’t provided any evidence of that to date.
UPDATE: As I was writing this post yesterday, This Week in Pseudoscience posted the results of their examination of MonsantoCollaborators.org, and there are strong indications that the site was put up by someone in the Health Ranger’s inner circle. The most compelling indicator is that Adams’ article didn’t appear anywhere online until after 11:00 PM (GMT) on July 21. It was posted to Facebook at 11:05 (GMT), and the first comment on the Natural News article was made 10 minutes later. However, MonsantoCollaborators.org was registered earlier in the day, at 4:21 (GMT) in the afternoon.
(thanks to David)

To my knowledge, this is the first time that one of Alex Jones’ most popular guests has made implied threats of violent retribution against a perceived enemy. His bizarre outburst comes at a time when he is struggling to put his conspiracy-mongering behind him and rebrand himself as a saner, calmer health activist. It also comes at a time when the anti-Monsanto, anti-GMO movement is at peak strength, gaining thousands of new supporters by the second. Boycotts, petitions, and protest rallies are sprouting all over the planet and garnering serious attention from mainstream media outlets. And now, at this pivotal moment, Adams decides to unleash subtle threats of violence and false accusations of genocide? It seems that if anyone is inflicting severe damage to the anti-GMO cause, it’s Adams himself. If he keeps this up, he’ll become a very different kind of ranger…

Lone_ranger_silver_1965

Wednesday Weirdness Roundup: Hoaxes of Space, Air and Land

moon_man

NASA totally Photoshopped this.

 

The Top 5 Silliest Chicken Franchise Myths

chicken too

Now that the heartbreaking/enraging viral story about a disfigured 3-year-old being turfed from a KFC for “scaring the other customers” has turned out to be a likely sham, let’s review some of the other kooky hoaxes and urban myths involving fast food chicken joints…

5. Clones and Chickenblobs/KFC name change

Beginning in the late ’90s, scare emails claimed that Kentucky Fried Chicken was forced to change its name to KFC, because it was no longer selling actual chicken. It was farming genetically modified chickens with more than two legs, or chicken clones, or beakless, legless chickenblobs that had liquid nutrients transfused directly into their veins. The story was sometimes accompanied by this picture:

chickenblob

Needless to say, there wasn’t much truth to any of this.

  • KFC doesn’t even raise its own chickens; the chain buys from numerous suppliers that sell chicken to many other restaurants, supermarkets, and fast food chains.
  • No one forced Kentucky Fried Chicken to change its name. The common wisdom is that the name change was part of an early ’90s rebranding effort designed to downplay the word “fried” (and possibly the word “Kentucky”).
  • The word “chicken” still appeared on the KFC menu, so obviously they were still using chicken.
  • Genetically modified chickens are still chickens.
  • No one has yet figured out how to produce legless/beakless poultry.
  • Meat from clones is reportedly on the market. However, cloning animals is prohibitively expensive and risky, so it’s not going to appeal to fast food suppliers that need a steady, reliable flow of cheap animals.

Silly as the chickenblob legends are, factory farmed chickens can live in some pretty dismal conditions. A less-silly rumour, included in Super Size Me, is that chickens are being bred to have enormous breasts that make them so top-heavy they are barely able to walk. The ASPCA website even asserts that most chickens have to lie flat on the ground throughout their lives.

There is some truth to this one. In general, chickens bred for meat have disproportionately large chests and low bone density. Many of them have trouble supporting their own weight on those skinny legs.  I don’t know that the average broiler chicken has this problem, but it is a concern. In overcrowded poultry operations, birds can’t walk around, anyway, because they’re squished together like foam packing peanuts.

foghorn leghorn

 

4. The Kentucky Fried Rat

This is a golden oldie of an urban legend that I’ve been hearing my entire life. It seems to date from the mid-’70s. There are variations of it, but the most popular one is that a woman was nibbling a piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken when she suddenly realized it was actually a fried rat. In some versions of the tale, she died from a heart attack and her family sued the franchise. According to snopes, this story has never been traced to a single source, and it’s rarely connected to a specific location. It is incredibly unlikely that it really happened.

However, people now frequently share Guess What I Found in My Chicken photos and stories. In 2000, Katherine Ortega of Newport News, Virginia, produced a deep-fried rooster head that she claimed to have discovered in a box of McDonald’s chicken wings (which were being test-marketed in the area at the time). She threatened to sue, but apparently never did. It was not confirmed that the head came from McDonald’s.
In 2003, Baltimore pastor Tony Hill claimed he was served a mouse at a Popeye’s chicken outlet. He, too, never pursued the matter.
Last year, a Colchester man complained of finding a “brain” in his KFC meal. He chucked it in the trash, but KFC tentatively identified the object in his photo as a kidney. Two identical discoveries also received press attention.
Just this week, a woman in New Castle, England, released a photo of a piece of KFC chicken that was actually a battered and deepfried paper towel.

3. Church’s Chicken KKK Sterilization

In 1986, folklorist Patricia Turner was teaching an Introduction to Black Literature course at the University of Massachusetts. For some reason, she told her students the Kentucky Fried Rat story, and was intrigued when one of the students informed her that the Church’s Chicken chain was owned by the KKK, and was putting something in its food to chemically sterilize men – mostly black men, since Church’s Chicken franchises existed in predominantly black neighbourhoods.
A nearly identical KKK “stealth sterilization” rumour was attached to a new brand of cheap soda, Tropical Fantasy, in 1991, leading to a steep plunge in sales and a frantic PR campaign. Anonymous fliers posted in Harlem implicated the Tropical Fantasy, Top Pop, and Treat brand sodas as part of a genocide-by-beverage campaign. There were reports of attacks on delivery drivers by outraged youths.
Turner thoroughly investigated both stories and wrote about them in her 1993 book I Heard It Through the Grapevine. Though racist chicken joints were definitely a thing, she couldn’t find any KKK connection to either Church’s Chicken or the Brooklyn Bottling Corp. (which, ironically, employed a large percentage of minorities). Though there are chemicals believed to decrease fertility in men, there is no substance capable of permanently rendering a man sterile that could be introduced into food or liquid.

2. Silicone in chicken nuggets

I covered this one several years ago at Leaving Alex Jonestown, when Natural News was twigging out over it. Yes, dimethylpolysiloxane, a type of silicone, is an ingredient in the coating of some chicken nuggets. It is added to many foods and drink mixes to prevent sticking, clumping, and foaming. It’s simply a synthetic version of silica, which occurs naturally in most grains, water, and meats because it’s one of the most common minerals on the planet. Like silica, dimethylpolysiloxane is perfectly safe to ingest.

nugget mcbuddies

Forget the silicone…why does this McNugget Buddy have hair?!

1. Mechanically Separated Meat Is Bad for You

There is widespread suspicion that we are still living in Upton Sinclair’s Jungle, where hooves and a**holes end up in our processed meats on a regular basis.

In Super Size Me, Morgan Spurlock takes umbrage at the very idea of chicken nuggets. “What part of the chicken does a nugget come from?” he asks, wrinkling up his Mario ‘stache in a convincing simulacrum of disgust. In an article on nuggets published by NBC last year, a medical doctor is quoted as saying that chicken parts aren’t really chicken.
The notion behind chicken nuggets is exactly the same as meatloaf, liver pâté, or fishsticks, but for some reason, finely chopped chicken has become the new hot dog of the fast food world – always suspect, always derided, forever ghetto. It has to be the worst parts of the chicken that end up in Nuggetville, right?
Not really. The quality of the chicken is the same as you’ll find in other chicken products, since it comes from the same chickens. There is some skin in, say, McDonald’s nuggets – but most people eat the skin from roasted and fried chickens without a second thought.
Western consumers have developed a horror of mechanically separated meat (MSM), particularly after Jamie Oliver’s demonstration of how finely textured beef is processed went viral. In the aftermath of the “pink slime” revelations, certain facts were neglected:

  • Oliver drenched a tub of meat in liquid ammonia to show how it is sanitized, but “pink slime” does not contain ammonia. Ammonia fumes are used.
  • Using less-than-perfect parts of an animal means less waste. The less-than-perfect parts aren’t going to hurt you. In Eastern countries, all parts of an animal are used or consumed. Think of Filipino blood pudding, or Vietnamese fatty flank steak. Jamie Oliver is a wealthy white man, schooled in the European culinary tradition, who does not understand how most of the world eats. MSM is an efficient, cost-effective use of animal products that would otherwise be discarded.
  • It is a filler product only. You won’t find any meat products in the fast food market that contain just pink slime or MSM.

Bonus Urban Legend: The Colonel’s Curse

This one really doesn’t have anything to do with chicken, but it’s too fun to ignore. In 1985, the Hanshin Tigers won the Japanese baseball championship with a 4-2 defeat against the Seibu Lions. Triumphant fans got carried away that night, stealing a Colonel Sanders statue and hurling it into the Dōtonbori River.
The Tigers didn’t win another championship. In the great tradition of sports curses, the vengeful spirit of the Colonel was blamed…though he didn’t actually die until 1990, and the Tigers had always sucked. Every so often, TV personalities would make a big show of trying to find the statue. but it wasn’t recovered until 2009.
The Tigers continue to suck.
The curse-KFC link has become so entrenched in Japanese culture that it pops up in the very first episode of the anime horror series When They Cry, which is set in 1984.

Now, get a little closer to your screen, because I’m going to reveal a few of the real dirty little secrets of fast food chicken franchises…

Harlan Sanders only served three months in the U.S. Army. He used the name “Colonel” just to sell chicken.
In the ’60s, the “Colonel” made cameo appearances in cheesy exploitation flicks like Hell’s Bloody Devils and Hershel Gordon Lewis’s Blast Off Girls, hawking his chicken.
In the ’70s, long after he had sold his franchise, the Colonel described Kentucky Fried Chicken gravy as “sludge”.
After a 2010 survey of  Americans ages 18-25 found that 52% of them believed Colonel Sanders was a fictional part of KFC’s branding, KFC launched an intensive PR campaign to prove Sanders had been a real person.
Chick-fil-A has sent cease-and-desist letters to at least 30 businesses to demand they stop using slogans that begin with the phrase “Eat more…”

 

Wednesday Weirdness Roundup: Stolen Imaginary Friends, Bigfoot Bears, & The Clinton Chronicles Redux

imaginary friend

  • With the recent passing of British comedian Rik Myall, you might have had nightmarish flashbacks to one of the most astoundingly awful films of recent decades: Drop Dead Fred. Or maybe you had fond flashbacks, because you were one of the people who cherished that movie. But did you know that the movie’s title character was stolen?
    Sometime in the late ’90s, I read the fantasy short story “Mr. Fiddlehead”, by Jonathan Carroll, in a 1990 collection of the year’s best fantasy and horror. In the story, a woman falls in love with her BFF’s imaginary childhood friend after he materializes as a carroty-haired, freckled, impish man. He appears only when the woman who created him is in emotional distress. He delights the two women with his practical jokes, childish sense of humour, and magical powers.
    I was appalled that Mr. Carroll had recycled the plot of a terrible movie.
    What I didn’t bother to notice at the time was that “Mr. Fiddlehead ” had already appeared in Carroll’s 1989 book A Child Across the Skytwo years before Drop Dead Fred was released. Somebody had recycled a plot, but it clearly wasn’t Carroll.
    The IMDB page for Drop Dead Fred credits one Elizabeth Livingston for the story. It is her only listed story credit. The script was written by Anthony Fingleton and Carlos Davis. Davis’s only other screenwriting credit is a TV children’s movie  from the early ’80s. What is he doing these days? Possibly working on the long-rumoured remake of Drop Dead Fred, his one and only big-screen effort.
    Are we dealing with out-and-out theft, or with the sort of “inspiration” that Yann Martel used to refashion Moacyr Scliar’s Max and the Cats into a slightly different (but infinitely more famous) story? That’s a judgment call. But I would absolutely love to hear Ms. Livingston, Mr. Fingleton, or Mr. Davis explain how their shitty movie somehow ended up with the central character from a story they didn’t create.
    UPDATE: After additional research, I have found that Elizabeth Livingston is a freelance writer/editor who was a book editor with Reader’s Digest for many years. She co-authored two children’s books.
    In a 1991 interview with Fantazia magazine (reproduced here), Rik Myall said of the screenwriters, “They’d been talking with a mutual friend, Elizabeth Livingston, who was writing a story based on her little daughter’s imaginary friend, Drop Dead Fred. They decided it would make a better film than series and approached me.”
    This doesn’t clear up the mystery, of course. It just establishes that Livingston was not simply the pseudonym of a writer who didn’t want to be connected to the movie.
  • Happy World UFO Day! International Business Times has a fun piece about a video hoax that involved both the secret space program and yet another alien corpse.
  • Two years after Melba Ketchum released the profoundly weird results of her Bigfoot DNA study, the group of UK researchers that was conducting a parallel study has announced its findings. Researchers at Oxford University and the Lausanne Museum of Zoology, led by Bryan Sykes, have spent the past two years analyzing 30 hair samples suspected to be from Bigfoot, Almas, and the Yeti. The upshot? Not a single hair came from an unknown animal. Most were from bears. The rest came from horses, deer, wolves, raccoon, sheep, cows, a porcupine, a human, and a tapir. Curiously, a hair sample from the Himalayas turned out to be a match for a prehistoric polar bear.
  • Mother Jones has compiled one of the largest lists of Hillary Clinton conspiracy theories ever. We’ll be seeing lots of these in the run-up to the 2016 elections. One of the latest, crafted by a JFK researcher who loves boobies, is that Chelsea Clinton is actually Webster Hubbell’s daughter. Morrow also asserts that Bill Clinton is a serial rapist, and claims that a large number of U.S. presidents (including, um, Nixon) were secretly bisexual.
chelsea

Oh my glob, a morphing .gif. HOW MUCH MORE EVIDENCE DO YOU NEED?!

 

The Top 10 Stupidest/Weirdest Theories About Flight MH370

lost numbers

We all know the first part of the story: Early in the morning on March 8, Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing, just one hour into its flight, lost radio contact with air traffic controllers. After going silent in the Gulf of Thailand, the plane unexpectedly veered west and flew back across Malaysia, heading into the Strait of Malacca. As indicated by primary radar returns, it was last charted heading northwest towards a navigational waypoint called IGREX, near the Andaman Coast of Phuket. However, ACARS reports indicate that Flight 370 remained in the air for at least 4 hours after losing radio contact, and the UK’s Air Accidents Investigation Branch collaborated with the satellite company Inmarsat to track the plane as far as the Indian Ocean west of Perth, Australia – meaning the plane was airborne for at least 8 hours after losing radio contact. As there are no potential landing sites anywhere near this location, it is assumed that Flight 370 crashed into the ocean. Despite extensive searches, not a single piece of debris has been found. Another search is scheduled for August. There were 277 passengers and 12 crew members aboard, making Flight MH370 the largest aerial disappearance in history.

mh370 map

Flight MH370’s last known movements (Daily Mail)

Contradictory and false information given by Malaysian authorities led many people to suspect that Malaysia knew exactly what had happened to its plane, and was suppressing the truth for reasons unknown. In Beijing, victims’ family members have protested and staged vigils outside the Malaysian Embassy, demanding the truth. One of the first Western conspiranoids to contribute a theory was Rupert Murdoch, who tweeted that jihadists had hijacked the plane to “make trouble for China.” Rush Limbaugh chimed in that the plane may have been shot down by some “hostile little country.” Then the professional conspiranoids took over. Here, in no particular order, are ten of the goofiest narratives they came up with to explain the disappearance of Flight 370.

10.   Scientific Sabotage

Retired Delta Air Lines Captain Field McConnell believes Flight 370 was hijacked to obtain information about pending technology patents from some of the passengers, Chinese employees of Freescale Semiconductor, an Austin-based microchip company. According to McConnell, Freescale has developed a classified technology that uses paint and electronics to turn regular jets into stealth aircraft. He points out that a patent (#8671381) related to integrated circuits and semiconductor wafers was approved just days after the plane vanished. McConnell and others have claimed that the rights to this patent were supposed to have been split five ways: 20% to Freescale Semiconductor, and 20% each to four employees who were on the plane. 

This theory isn’t completely out in left field, since rashes of odd scientist deaths related to innovative or secret technology have occurred a few times. In the ’80s, over a dozen British scientists involved in defense research died rather weird, untimely deaths; several of them worked for Marconi. But there have also been red herring Dead Scientist memes floating around in the conspiracy world for years, including the Dead Microbiologists meme that began shortly after the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq. The list of dead microbiologists thought to have some knowledge of U.S. and/or Iraqi bioweapons became so absurdly long that even community college biology teachers ended up on it.

Field McConnell’s theory crumbles under scrutiny. Not one of the names listed on patent #8671381 appears on the passenger manifest released by Malaysian authorities. To date, there is no evidence that any of the people listed on the patent worked for Freescale or that the patent has anything to do with Freescale.

It must also be noted that McConnell and co-researcher David Hawkins have one of the most batshit insane, least coherent websites on the entire Internets: Abel Danger. Don’t believe me? Try reading whatever the hell this is. The entire website is like that – lesbian assassins taking over the world, word salad, Floyd Cramer videos. Field McConnell is also the author of the self-published tome Lesbian Cults, Pedophile Oaths and the Guild of Patented Hits. I challenge you to read more than two pages of it on Amazon without getting annoyed. Can’t be done.

The Scientific Sabotage theory has been embraced by Henry “Lesbian Candy Bars” Makow, though he awkwardly grafts the Diego Garcia abduction theory (below) onto it. Needless to say, Makow also found a way to drop a Rothschild into the mix, repeating the snopes-debunked factoid that Jacob Rothschild owns Freescale. Rothschild is a member of the Blackstone Group’s International Advisory Board, and the Blackstone Group owns more 196 million shares in Freescale, but the Carlyle Group and TPG Group Holdings both own the same number of Freescale shares as the Blackstone Group does. Then Makow got bored with missing planes and returned to his usual gay-bashing and theories like “Jesse James Killed John Wilkes Booth by order of the Freemasons.”

9.   The U.S. is hiding the plane at Diego Garcia (AKA the Assphone Scenario)

This theory holds that either the plane was hijacked by agents of the U.S. government, then flown to the U.S. military base on the island of Diego Garcia, or the plane made an emergency landing at this base and was captured on arrival. 

 Here’s how it started: Shortly after the flight’s disappearance, a message and a photo were posted to 4chan by a man claiming to be a passenger. The message read, “I have been held hostage by unknown military personal after my flight was hijacked (blindfolded). I work for IBM and I have managed to hide my cellphone in my ass during the hijack. I have been separated from the rest of the passengers and I am in a cell. My name is Philip Wood. I think I have been drugged as well and cannot think clearly.”

The photo was just a black screen, but its Exif data identified the iPhone user, a time consistent with the plane’s last known movements, and GPS coordinates of a building on Diego Garcia.

Philip Wood, a 50-year-old IBM engineer living in Asia, actually was a passenger on the plane. Wood’s girlfriend, Sarah Bajc, has appeared on CNN and a few radio shows to air her belief that he and his fellow passengers are being held hostage at a secret facility. She hasn’t mentioned the Assphone message, but one has to wonder if she accepts it as genuine. I doubt that she does, because she seems like a smart lady.  And to accept the Assphone Scenario, one has to accept a shit-tonne of dodgy things:

  • that the abductors remembered to dose everybody with drugs, but forgot to confiscate phones from all of their super-secret hostages, on a military base that has wi-fi
  • that a successful, industrious adult man, caught in a situation that would make Jack Bauer twig out, decided not to email a loved one or post a message to Facebook or notify the FBI or send a message to his Congressman
  • instead, he chose 4chan, because credibility
  • he relied on 4chan for his salvation
  • srsly, people, fucking 4chan

8.   Accidental Shootdown and Cover-up (AKA the Whoops Scenario)

Whether Limbaugh really believed his shootdown theory or not is unclear. Let’s face it, most of the time he just says words on the air. If he believes his theory, then he thinks Malaysians accidentally shot down their own plane in blind panic.

Nigel Cawthorne has a different shootdown theory. His book Flight MH370: The Mystery, released in May, argues that a joint US-Thai fighter jet training drill accidentally shot down the plane. Fearing an international incident (or maybe just epic embarrassment), Thailand and the U.S. collaborated on a cover-up that would put Charles Widmore to shame.

Cawthorne is a freelance journalist and prolific author. His specialties are the sexual peccadilloes of English gentlemen and Hollywood starlets, historical military battles, ’60s celebrities, and true crime. His titles include The Mammoth Book of Football Hooligans and Takin’ Back My Name: The Confessions of Ike Turner. A review of Flight MH370: The Mystery by David Free of The Australian might confirm your suspicions about Cawthorne’s level of expertise in this area. The book contains many typos, factoids, and speculative scenarios, but no new evidence that would support the War Games/Whoops scenario.

7.   Black Hole, Wormhole, Portal from Donnie Darko

A poll posted on CNN‘s website reported that 9% of respondents thought it was either very or somewhat likely that the plane was abducted by aliens, “time travelers or beings from another dimension.” To date, CNN has not conducted a poll to determine how many people like to screw with CNN polls.

The notion that a “miniature” black hole swallowed the plane shouldn’t have gone anywhere, but CNN Newsroom host Don Lemon briefly entertained it on-air. Panelist Mary Schiavo gently informed him that black holes don’t work like that.

If it seems unbelievable that anyone could believe time travel made a jet vanish, keep in mind that people still buy into the Philadelphia Experiment and Montauk Project hoaxes.

6.   Reptilians or Whatever

Alexandra Bruce, a conspiracy writer who specializes in stories about reptoid aliens and New Age flim-flam, became the first person to throw out the obligatory “ALIENS” theory. Her evidence consisted of a YouTube video of a computer simulation of the plane departing from Kuala Lumpur,  in which the simulated plane seems to vanish in the presence of an aircraft Bruce identifies as a UFO.  Boston.com journalist Jack Pickell, in his own rundown of silly Flight 370 theories, pointed out that the “UFO” was clearly marked as Korean Airlines Flight 672.

5.   Predictive Programming

“Predictive programming”, which I have written about here and at Leaving Alex Jonestown, is the profoundly dumb notion that the baddies who run everything can’t do terrible things to us without asking our permission first (a common theme in the folklore of vampires, demons, and other supernatural entities). But they can’t just ask, “Mind if we kill several hundred of you today?”, so they resort to seeding clues about their plans into episodes of The Simpsons. As reported by the Independent, predictive programming experts agree that the 2012 Pitbull/Shakira song “Get It Started” betrays prior knowledge of Flight 370’s disappearance, containing lines such as, “Now it’s off to Malaysia” and “Two passports, three cities, two countries, one day.” The lyrics “No Ali, No Frazier, but for now off to Malaysia” refer to the shady character known as Mr. Ali (no word yet on who the hell Frazier is), and the “two passports” are clearly a reference to the stolen Austrian and Italian ones Mr. Ali provided to two mystery passengers. The song also mentions Times Square, Tom Cruise, and Manila. I think this means that Tom Cruise is going to marry a Filipino ladyboy on New Year’s Eve.

No fewer than eight people share the writing credits for “Get It Started.” In addition to making me fearful about the future of pop music in general, this makes me doubtful that the Illuminati was involved. I could see letting Shakira in on a secret plan to kidnap a planeful of people – she could never become an effective whistleblower, because people are so busy staring at her that they rarely hear a word she’s saying. But seven other people? That’s just silly. Besides, if Morrissey didn’t predict MH370, then no one did.

4.   A Scary-Ass Machine or Something

Mike “Health Ranger” Adams, who was recently featured on Dr. Oz’s TV show, ponders the fate of the plane in this article at his Natural News site. He dismisses the conventional explanations,  one by one, before telling us that an “entirely new, mysterious and powerful” weapon can make airplanes vanish without trace.  Whoever controls this Aircraft-Disappearing Machine clearly has the capability to dominate the whole planet. Elsewhere on his website, however, Adams opines that a rogue nation has commandeered the plane and will soon be using it as a “stealth nuclear weapon.”

langoliers

Maybe it was these guys.

3.    China

This theory, first proposed by Reddit user Dark_Spectre, also revolves around Philip Wood, who was an IBM Technical Storage Executive for Malaysia. Since IBM was one of the companies implicated by Edward Snowden as helping the NSA spy on China, maybe the Chinese hijacked the flight to abduct and interrogate Wood. And maybe the U.S. found out about it, located the plane, and killed all the passengers to prevent the Chinese from learning anything. Or maybe, in bloody retaliation for NSA algorithms, China patiently waited nearly a year after Snowden’s IBM revelations to off Philip Wood in a manner that looks totally accidental. Makes sense.

Eric-Snowden1

Fail.

2.    Israel

Israel framed Iran. Without actually framing Iran. Yoichi Shimatsu aired this theory during an interview with conspiranoid radio host Jeff Rense (below). Citing alleged eyewitness reports from anonymous sources, “Jews did 9/11” researcher Christopher Bollyn reported that a lookalike of MH370 is being stored in a hangar at Tel Aviv Airport, possibly for use in a future false flag attack by Israel.

1.    Distraction

No matter what you talk about, some dickhole is going to inform you that there’s something more important to talk about. In Conspiracyland, this is taken to the nth extreme, creating elaborate Russian nesting dolls of derp. For example, after mentally disturbed mother Miriam Carey was gunned down for driving through a barricade in D.C., Jones declared that her death was simply a distraction from the government shutdown, while the shutdown was “political theater billed as a government shutdown”, while the political theatre was just globalists reinforcing a false left/right paradigm. Is everything a distraction? Just where do distractions stop and real events begin, guy?

In the case of Flight 370, people opined that it was a distraction from the Ukraine, One of these people was David Hawkins, of the aforementioned Abel Danger website.

Technically, everything on this planet distracts you from something else on this planet. No one has to deliberately engineer distractions in an age of commercial-free television, beer pong, and breastaurants.

Perhaps we shouldn’t judge any of these wonky theories too harshly, though. Reporter and CNN commentator Jeff Wise has candidly admitted in a piece for Canada’s National Post that he poured feverish enthusiasm and plenty of money into pursuing a theory that turned out to be flat-out wrong. Unlike a lot of the other MH370 armchair detectives, who will defend their discredited theories to the death, Wise has admitted his error, and he explains just how easy it is to fill in the blanks or craft wildly imaginative scenarios when there are so many unanswered questions, so many red herrings, so many unknowns.
Like Flight 19, Flight 370 seems destined to become one of the great unsolved mysteries of our time…and that means we’ll be seeing scores more wacky theories in years to come.

Following the Chemtrails IV: A Timeline of Significant Chemtrail Events

Part IV of Following the Chemtrails

Where did it all begin?

In researching chemtrail sightings and theories, I was stunned to learn that this phenomenon didn’t begin with people noticing persistent contrails in the sky, wondering what they could be, and searching for explanations. Chemtrail theories actually began as a horror story about deliberate world depopulation, crafted and spread by a small network of Christian Patriot conspiracy researchers – including one rather infamous anti-Semite.
There are strong indications that at least some of these guys were trying to create a contrail cash cow for themselves, which has forced me to rethink the entire chemtrail phenomenon. It was my original view that the chemtrail issue is not, as the U.S. Air Force contends, a hoax. I believed that like most conspiracy theories, chemtrail theories evolved in organic fashion from various anecdotes and incidents.
That’s not to say there haven’t been hoaxes. Photos have been altered, then distributed among chemtrail researchers. Less than credible “whistleblowers” have told bizarre stories that can’t be verified. Clearly, anyone who engages in this sort of fraud isn’t searching for the truth. In my experience, the average chemtrail-watcher is searching for the truth. He is concerned about the potential effects of chemtrails, and he wants answers.
Now, after looking into the history of the phenomenon, I suspect the hoax allegation has some merit, after all. I still believe the average chemtrail-watcher is a genuinely concerned citizen who honestly believes he is seeing strange, unexplained vapour trails, and doing what he thinks is right. But I do not trust the motives of those who started the rumours of death-by-contrail.

To see why I reached this conclusion, let’s examine the history of chemtrails.

Early 1980s

Farmers, environmentalists, and others in the eastern U.S. report that ground water is contaminated with ethylene dibromide (EDB), a carcinogenic chemical used as a pesticide and as an anti-knocking agent in leaded aviation fuel (“avgas”). EDB has been never a component of jet fuel, because jet fuel does not contain lead.

1984

EDB is banned for pesticide use in some places, phased out in others (in remains in use to this day in some areas).

Late 1980s

EDB use in avgas is phased out.

1994

HAARP installation begins in Gakona, Alaska.

1995

Concerns about EDB contamination resume among some Christian Patriots. They suspect that the newly-introduced military jet fuel JP-8 contains some contaminant, or combination of contaminants, that are intended to kill us. The prime suspect is – guess what? – EDB. These concerns rapidly spread throughout the country via online message boards and mass emails.

The Contrail Science website contains links to what appear to be some of the earliest known online references to unusual contrails, which would later be called chemtrails. This material was originally published on The Patriot Page (the now-defunct website of Clarence Napier, still accessible via the Wayback Machine).
In emails distributed through BIOWAR-L (an email list service dealing with biological weapons), people exchanged information about “mysterious” persistent vapour trails left by military jets throughout the U.S., the health effects of EDB, and the depopulation conspiracy theory.
A few people submitted soil and water samples for lab testing, which confirmed the presence of EDB (not surprising, as it is known to persist in ground water). They concluded that EDB was coming from the sky. These test results, if they ever existed, were never actually reproduced.

Acting on information he allegedly received in 1993, Larry Wayne Harris of Lancaster, Ohio begins selling a self-published booklet (Bacteriological Warfare: A Major Threat to North America), warning that Iraqi sleeper cells will launch anthrax attacks against multiple cities in the U.S., aiming to reduce the U.S. population to 50 million by 2025. He conducted research for this booklet at the library of the Aryan Nations compound. He was a card-carrying member of Aryan Nations, which is not only America’s largest white supremacist organization, but also the nation’s largest and most violent prison gang.

dafuqreally

I’m sure we can trust their impeccable research skills.

At the time, Harris believed Jews controlled the world and had to be opposed (according to the Anti-defamation League, he later renounced these views).

Harris claims the information about impending anthrax attacks was given to him by the daughter of a former Iraqi president. She allegedly told him that Iraqi women were smuggling massive amounts of weaponized anthrax into the U.S. in their vaginas, preparing for synchronized biological assaults on numerous U.S. cities that would reduce the nation’s population to just 50 million souls by the year 2025.
In the spirit of goofy FBI code-names, let’s call this plan VAGTHRAX.

Harris makes some cash selling his booklet about VAGTHRAX at gun shows and conspiracy conventions, scaring the hell out of his fellow Patriots and Aryan brethren.
Though Harris was supposedly teaching people how to defend themselves against terrorist attacks, it has been noted that his booklet appeared to double as an instruction manual for terrorism. For instance, it laid out in considerable detail how to sabotage power lines and launch large-scale biological attacks. Not exactly information the average American would need.

toxic virgins by Doug Brinkman

Coming not-so-soon

Harris is arrested and charged with mail fraud after posing as a research microbiologist to obtain bubonic plague from the American Type Culture Collection. He had stolen some stationery bearing the letterhead of the Ohio lab where he was employed as a water inspector to do this. Convicted of mail fraud, Harris is placed on probation.
Harris claims to be a CIA asset and a licensed microbiologist throughout most of the ’80s and early ’90s. He also boasts that he has scientifically proven the existence of God. None of these claims are true.
He continues to warn about impending Iraqi bioattacks for the next three years.

Most of the early Internet communications about poisonous contrails mention Harris as a good source of information on the topic. Christian Patriots are advised to submit soil and fuel samples to him for testing. At least one EDB/JP-8 researcher, radio evangelist Bill Brumbaugh, submitted a JP-8 sample to Harris for analysis in the late ’90s. Harris, without supplying any documentation, reported that the jet fuel contained EDB. Questionable results like these were trumpeted throughout the Patriot/conspiracy community, adding literal fuel to the fire.

1996

The Defense Department publishes a study, Weather as a Force Multiplier: Owning the Weather in 2025. This paper will become central to the weather control/geonengineering theories about persistent spreading contrails, which gradually overshadow the EDB/depopulation theory.

September 17, 1997

Richard Finke of Ohio distributes an email with the heading “Lines in the Sky Identified!”. This may be the first mass email on the subject of “deadly” contrails. In it, Finke declares that lab testing of samples from “JP-8 contaminated fields” in Maryland and Pennsylvania have revealed the presence of ethylene dibromide (again, not surprising, as EDB has been used as an agricultural pesticide for years). The testing was conducted by Aqua-tech Environmental. Finke wrote of contrails, “The lines are dispersed and may linger for hours, slowly filtering down to unsuspecting pests, and I guess we’re the PESTS.”

1998

Richard Finke and Larry Harris set up a “defensive biowar and disaster recovery” consulting firm called LWH Consulting. They promote their services by sending out mass emails warning that a biological attack on the U.S. is imminent, and posting information about poisonous contrails on message boards.
LWH Consulting was legally incorporated under the name of Harris’ attorney, Curt Griffith, who was suspended from practicing law in the state of Ohio in 2004 for ripping off two of his clients. Griffith also defended Harris in court.

Just as the biowarfare threat helped Harris sell his VAGTHRAX booklet, the EDB contamination scare may have helped Patriot radio broadcasters sell colloidal silver. You can’t read any of the early chemtrail reports without running into mention of colloidal silver as a defense against contrail-created illnesses. Later, chemtrail researcher Will Thomas began selling USANA brand vitamins and mineral supplements on his website, writing, “You don’t have to be a Gulf War veteran to be suffering daily effects from Chemical Warfare (CW) exposure. As a frequent writer on environment and health, while researching a major article on chemical sensitivities, I learned that Multiple Chemical Sensitivity can be triggered by massive repeated low level exposure to oil and other chemical releases…”
In 2000 and 2001, Larry Harris hawked a line of Solutions-4-You® anti-microbial products and a lichen-based herb called Lechenya Meera that could supposedly protect you from anthrax and other biochem warfare agents. He claimed a Ph.D at that time, though I can’t find any confirmation that he has one, and billed himself as “one of 17 registered microbiologists in the US” (I rather doubt this, as the National Registry of Certified Microbiologists certifies dozens of registrants each year).
Because chemtrail information is so closely tied to product placement and dishonest self-promotion like this, we should not eliminate the possibility that chemtrail theories are driven – at least in part – by profit motives.

February 18, 1998

Harris and a cohort, William Leavitt, are arrested in Vegas for possessing anthrax. When the anthrax turns out to be an avirulent strain, Harris is charged only with probation violation and receives a longer, more restrictive probation for impersonating a CIA agent.
After the hearing, Curt Griffith reportedly warned him, “Don’t let the word ‘CIA’ come out of your mouth.”
Though Harris wasn’t in possession of any dangerous biological agents this time, the Vegas anthrax arrest scared the hell out of people and made national headlines. It was alleged that Harris wasn’t just warning the world about impending biological attack – he was planning one himself. A cohort had reported to authorities that Harris boasted about possessing enough anthrax to poison a U.S. city.

After Harris’ second arrest, the speculation about persistent contrails gradually shifted from EDB to other toxic ingredients (mostly metals). But the legend of EDB-contaminated jet fuel lives on. Joseph E. Mario, in his Anti-Aging Manual (1998), declared that EDB was being dispersed over the U.S. via JP-8 jet fuel exhaust (contrails) for the purpose of indiscriminate population reduction. As “evidence”, Mario noted that EDB had been detected in Cape Cod cranberry ponds, Maryland and Pennsylvania. Again, this can be explained by agricultural fumigation. There was no need to bring aircraft into the equation at all.

February 1998  

Tommy Farmer collects samples of what he calls “angel hair”, a fibrous material presumably deposited by aircraft on six occasions between February, 1998 and January, 1999. The term might be familiar to UFO buffs, as “angel hair” was a common feature of early close encounter reports. Farmer claims he fell ill after his first contact with the “angel hair” (today, sticky filaments known as “chemwebs” are still being reported).

After the initial hubbub of 1997 and early 1998, the poisonous contrail theories went sub rosa for several
months, kept alive by only a handful of conspiracy researchers like Clarence Napier, John Hammell, Chip Tatum, Dot Bibbee, and Joe Burton.

1999, on the other hand, would be the Year of the Contrail.

January 1999

Canadian journalist Will Thomas publishes his first two articles about the dangers of contrails, “Mystery Contrails May Be Modifying Weather” and “Contrails: Poison From the Sky”. In these two short pieces, Thomas laid out a number of suppositions that have since become entrenched as chemtrail factoids:

  • The “poisonous” contrails are sprayed by “fleets” of aircraft flying in gridlike patterns.
  • The “spraying” is done by military jets. Thomas described the work of Tommy Farmer, a former engineering technician with Raytheon Missile Systems who had been tracking the patterns of jet contrails for more than a year. Farmer “positively identified” two of the aircraft most often involved in aerial spraying as the Boeing KC-135 and the Boeing KC-10, both used by the U.S. Air Force for air-to-air refueling.
  • The “spraying” is also done by unmarked military jets.
  • Contrails may be part of HAARP-related experiments.
  • Contrails may contain substances that facilitate weather modification, and substances that are harmful to us, such as bacteria.
  • Contrails may cause a variety of ailments, ranging from respiratory difficulty to lupus. No direct evidence of a link between contrails and these ailments is provided by Thomas; he is content to rely upon anecdotal evidence. Anecdotal evidence is a great place to start. It is not a great place to finish.

Thomas also rehashes the EDB-in-jet-fuel theory, and mentions public concerns about fuel dumping (discussed in Part III.5 of this series).

January 25, 1999

Art Bell discusses contrails on the popular paranormal-themed radio show Coast to Coast AM for the first time, with guest Will Thomas.

February 10, 1999

Will Thomas sends an email to John Hammell, warning that people throughout the U.S. and the U.K. are falling ill with flu because of contrails. He speculates that a virus may be in the jet fuel along with EDB, and strongly urges people to stay indoors when jets are flying overhead. The email is widely distributed. It is so hysterical in tone that I reproduce it here in its entirety to show you how speculation and misinformation were disseminated in the early days of the chemtrail phenomenon:

“Tell everyone to STAY INDOORS when contrails are being woven overhead. I’ve got a BBC photo of a freezer-semi filled with dead bodies in England – all from sudden respiratory ailments. We’re talking (according to the BBC) 6,000 deaths from respiratory failure in two weeks. People are VERY SICK here. And spraying continues, after heavy spraying last Friday over Asheville, Knoxville, Dallas and other US centers. I have this morning received reports of ‘many deaths’ from a ‘cough that never leaves’ in Louisiana. This is big. This is real. I have positively verified that Emergency Rooms are overflowing with acute respiratory cases from coast to coast. Doctors are telling the New York Times that this is NOT the flu. The only lab test I have shows JP8 present in soil samples after spraying. The ethylene dibromide in JP8 is banned by the EPA as a known carcinogen and an extremely toxic substance that attacks the respiratory system at very low doses of exposure. There may be a viral component to the spraying, as well. I am tracking this and will get back to… STOP PRESSES! I have just this minute received a call that confirms my worst fears. According to a source within the Canadian Intelligence Service, heavy spraying taking place over Victoria, BC (near me) and other population centers throughout North America are classified ‘tests’. I now know what the ‘tests’ are aimed at achieving. And it is not pretty. This is a MAXIUMUM RED ALERT for everyone on your list, John. TAKE COVER! Stay indoors during spraying. This is NOT ‘woo-woo’. This is NOT a drill.”

The most astonishing thing about this email is that the epidemic Thomas describes didn’t exist. There were no reports of a “mystery” respiratory illness published by the New York Times or the BBC in 1998 or 1999. Rather, there was one article in the Times about a well-known virus that affects infants and young children (respiratory syncytial virus, or RSV). If 6000 people in England alone had perished from the same illness in two weeks, this would have been an epidemic on par with the influenza outbreak of 1918. Yet I could not find a single 1998 or 1999 article (BBC or otherwise) that included information about 6000 sudden deaths in the UK. There were plenty of media releases concerning outbreaks of respiratory illnesses that occurred that year (see this one on an illness in Afghanistan or this one about  Nipah virus in Singapore and Malaysia, for instance). In these cases, dozens or even a few hundred people fell ill. But 6000, in a single country? No, nothing on that scale happened in 1998-1999.  If Thomas did, indeed, see a “BBC photo” of a truckload of corpses, it was either unpublished or misrepresented to him. As for the “many” coughing-related deaths in Louisiana, Thomas provides no verifying information. My own search for a ’99 Louisiana outbreak of respiratory illness came up empty. In short, this terrifying email does not contain any verified information.  In the winter of 1998-1999, neither the flu nor respiratory illnesses other than RSV were particularly serious. In 2000, the CDC reported the “numbers and types of circulating influenza viruses are similar to the previous two seasons (1997-98 and 1998-99). These findings suggest that this year’s flu season has not been unusually severe.” Even if the flu or respiratory illnesses had been worse than usual in 1998-1999, the connection to contrails would not be a given. Such outbreaks are not uncommon.
In another post, we’ll look more closely at Will Thomas’s chemtrail research and some of the other bizarre misinformation he has been disseminating. It will be obvious that his scientific knowledge is extremely limited. This is not an insult; it is a statement of fact. Ignorance is nothing to be ashamed of, because it does not have to be a permanent condition. Mr. Thomas can brush up on his science skills anytime he chooses.

March 30, 1999

Clarence Napier, a Christian Patriot conspiracist, claims to have located the “hidden” HQ for the death-spraying “United Nations” planes in Arizona. He declares that Arizona is the epicentre of contrail-poisoning activity (to this day, Pheonix remains a central hub of chemtrail-watching and activism). In the last post, we explored how firefighting planes (particularly Everygreen Aviation’s Supertanker) have been repeatedly mistaken for “chemtrail-spraying” planes.
In his email, Napier wrote:

“To every one in the Phoenix, Tucson, and Chandler, Arizona area, should try to check this  location out. I’m shure [sic] I have located the airfield were [sic] the planes spraying the contrails  are based in Arizona. If you get on my Web Page you will see a photo of the planes in the field,  William Thomas said people have reported to him that they looked at these planes through  telescopes, and reported that they are painted all white with no markings, and that is how I spotted this field, and the entrance to it is well hidden.”

Napier postulated that these unmarked planes were United Nations aircraft, and that the purpose of the spraying was to sicken and kill people all over the world. He posted photos of the “hidden” airfield on his website without identifying it.
One diligent researcher investigated and learned the airfield was Chandler Memorial Airport, an airfield owned by the area’s Pima and Maricopa Indian Nations. Since 1978, the airfield has been leased to International Air Response, an aviation outfit that had been contracting with the U.S. Forest Service to fight forest fires since the late ’60s. The entrance to the Chandler Memorial airfield was not hidden, and its operations were not secret.

March 1999

The word “chemtrail” begins appearing online. A portmanteau of the words “chemical(s)” and “contrail”, its exact provenance is unknown (I have been told by many chemtrail-watchers that Will Thomas coined the word. This may be true, but all I know for certain is that the word didn’t emerge until the spring of 1999. I have found no appearances of the word prior to March of that year). Jay Reynolds, who has been researching the contrail-related conspiracies since the late ’90s, has stated the word was coined by former USAF captain John Grace, who used the pseudonym “Val Valerian”.
In the early days, when the contrail theories revolved around a chemical pesticide, “chemical contrail” made sense. But today, when the theories are focused on metal oxides, “nanobots”, and fibers, “chemtrail” is a bit of a misnomer.

November 20, 1999

Art Bell again discusses chemtrails on Coast to Coast AM, with guest Clifford Carnicom.

1999

The white supremacist/conspiracy publication The Spotlight begins publishing stories about contrails, promoting the theory that they are part of a secret military operation.

Clifford Carnicom sets up his first website about chemtrails.
When it comes to chemtrails, I don’t think it would even be possible to overestimate the work Clifford Carnicom. He is, quite simply, the leader in the field of chemtrail research. Will Thomas and others are certainly influential, but it is Carnicom who has introduced each new “discovery” about chemtrails. Carnicom was the first person to produce a documentary about chemtrails (Aerosol Crimes, 2004). His was the first major website devoted to chemtrails. He was the first person to publish articles on the alleged links between chemtrails and Morgellons disease. He was the first to document what he believes are “nanotech devices” in Morgellons sufferers. It’s safe to say that whatever theory Carnicom comes up with next, the majority of chemtrail-watchers will accept as probable.

2001

Chemtrails are mentioned under the heading of “exotic weapons systems” in a bill sponsored by Dennis Kucinich, H.R. 2977 (107th): Space Preservation Act of 2001. They are removed from subsequent versions of the bill.

2002

On Coast to Coast AM, guest Will Thomas discusses the theory that the military is using jets to spray aluminum oxide and/or barium stearate into the air for weather modification and advanced radar/HAARP experiments.

2003

The biowarfare theory of chemtrails, introduced to the public by Will Thomas in ’99, becomes much more popular in 2003. It is reinforced by the claims of Clifford Carnicom, who says he heard important information from another researcher, who heard it from a military source.
According to Carnicom’s source, airplanes are dispersing polymer filaments with freeze-dried bacteria or viruses and metals (barium, aluminum) attached. The metals heat up from the sun, allowing the pathogens to survive in the cool air.
The ultimate goal of the spraying, Carnicom states, is the “control of all populations through directed and accurate spraying of drugs, diseases”. He declares that people who have “tried to reveal the truth have been imprisoned and killed”, but does not provide any names for verification.

2004

The incredibly weird “sylph” sightings begin. Chemtrail watchers report seeing cloudlike forms absorbing chemtrails, then vanishing. Some believe the sylphs are living creatures. Others suspect they are supernatural entities along the lines of angels, or nanobot swarms that can be manipulated remotely (like the Smoke Monster in Lost).

Clifford Carnicom releases his self-produced documentary Aerosol Crimes, the first feature-length film about chemtrails.
As with any conspiracy theory that gains some traction, infighting and suspicion among researchers soon surfaces. Chemtrail-fighter Don Croft declares that Carnicom’s Aerosol Crimes is disinformation. Croft tries to eliminate chemtrails with Reichian orgone devices (bits of metal).

2007

Lydia Mancini starts the website Barium Blues to document the “barium chemtrails” she has been seeing since about 2003.

Will Thomas publishes his book Chemtrails Confirmed.

August 2007

The Discovery Channel program Best Evidence airs a show on chemtrails.

2008

The Carnicom Institute becomes a registered non-profit organization

Toxic Skies, a fictional movie dealing with chemtrails, is released in Australia. The second film from Canadian thriller/horror director Andrew C. Erin is a medical thriller, starring Anne Heche as a virologist struggling to identify a mysterious disease.
As a medical thriller, the film is deeply uminpressive (at one point Heche’s character declares, “We don’t know if it’s Avian Flu or bubonic plague”). The film receives attention in the conspiracy community for three reasons: It explicity mentions chemtrails, the context is profoundly negative, and it was “banned” in North America.
Spoilers: The virus is being spread via pellets that have been mixed into jet fuel (must be one tough virus to survive not only the temperatures of a jet’s fuel system, but the cold temperatures of high altitude). The virologist develops a vaccine to inoculate people against the virus, and must race against the clock – and the bad guys-  to deliver it.
The film was shot in Spokane by a mostly Canadian crew, but premiered in Australia, causing some chemtrail researchers to cry out that it had been “banned” in the U.S. In reality, the film was simply picked up by a foreign distributor. The highest bidder gets distribution rights, and the American distributors evidently weren’t impressed. After being screened in Australia, Toxic Skies began showing up everywhere else. It is available in the U.S. and Canada. It’s even on Netflix.
Then there were those who believed Americans were supposed to see the movie. You see, many conspiracy researchers believe in something they call “predictive programming”. In essence, they contend that the world’s elite (the Illuminati, the globalists, the lizards, etc.) are required by some ancient code of conduct to have willing victims (I mentioned this briefly in a Wednesday Weirdness Roundup, in relation to Beavis and Butthead “predicting” 9/11). In other words, They have to tell us what They’re going to do to us before They do it. So They seed clues into TV commercials, cartoons, magazine articles and even low-budget medical thrillers. Chemtrail researchers who look for predictive programming would probably point to the vaccine in Toxic Skies as just another ploy. First, the Illuminati poisons you with a chemtrail virus, then they dupe you into taking a vaccine that will also kill you.
To my knowledge, no one has asked the director himself how he feels about chemtrails. Perhaps Mr. Erin just picked an interesting conspiracy theory to hang a thriller on, as so many screenwriters do. I challenge you to scan the list of conspiracy theories at Wikipedia  and find a single one that hasn’t become fodder for entertainment. FEMA camps? X-files. Fluoride? Dr. Strangelove. Morgellons? Bugs.

January 2008

Local news station KSLA in Shreveport, Louisiana broadcasts a report on chemtrails. Producers sent water samples collected in August 2007, in Stamps, Arkansas to a lab. The man who collected the samples suspected that jets flying over his property were spewing chemicals or metals. The results showed the water to contain 68.8 parts per billion (68.8 µg/L) of barium. The EPA limit is 2 ppm (2000 µg/L), and the tests found 0.0688 ppm (68.8 µg/L), just 3.4% of the allowable limit. But the KSLA reporter misread 68.8 µg/L as 6.8 parts per million, over three times the EPA level.
When the mistake was pointed out, KSLA issued a correction to its report.

October 2008

The chemical depopulation theory persists. MythicShadow posts the following on an online forum:

“STRANGE DAYS STRANGE SKIES YOU ARE NOW BREATHING ETHYLENE DIBROMIDE, NANO-PARTICULATES OF ALUMINUM AND BARIUM AND CATIONIC POLYMER FIBERS WITH UNIDENTIFIED BIOACTIVE MATERIAL: “We the people have not been warned, advised or consulted but are certainly vulnerable to the outcomes.” Lightwatcher.com “Biologic components have been reported in airborne samples that include: modified molds, desiccated red blood cells and exotic strains of bacteria” Additionally, award winning investigative reporter, Will Thomas, has reported findings of over 300 types of virally mutated fungi in the chemtrail fall out. The Idaho Observer has reported findings of 26 metals including barium, aluminum and uranium, a variety of infectious pathogens and chemicals and drugs including sedatives in chemtrail fallout. Dr.R. Michael Castle reports the finding of cationic polymer fibers. Others have reported findings of tiny parasitic nematode eggs of some type encased in the fibers. Welcome to the brave new world of toxic barium skies, weather control, mind control and population control through the use of chemtrails modulated with electromagnetic frequencies generated by HAARP. Our health is under attack as evidenced by the skyrocketing rates of chemtrail induced lung cancer, asthma and pulmonary/respiratory problems as well as the emergence of a new plague, Morgellons Disease, an infection with a new and unknown pathogen that is seriously disabling and disfiguring. Over 12,000 families in the U.S. are now infected with Morgellons. I am one of the infected. Our skies are increasingly hazed over with fake barium/ aluminum particulate, ethylene dibromide chemtrail clouds. Whether in the atmosphere or in the Ocean this added particulate matter is a hazard to the health of every living thing on this planet. My health and the health of my family has already been drastically affected. There is a main-stream media blackout on this subject so the only way to get the word out is by word of mouth. People are already dying because of the chemtrails. Life expectancy is down. This situation presents an immediate and serious threat to you, your family and loved ones. We must join together to stop this insane program of chemtrail spraying now. Please do what you can to help.”

2010

The first professionally produced, feature-length documentary about chemtrails is released. What in the World Are They Spraying?, directed by Michael J. Murphy, draws more attention to chemtrails than anything to date. The film centres on the geoengineering theory of chemtrails, though depopulation and a few other theories are mentioned.

Once again, a racist connection to chemtrail theories rears its ugly head: The executive producer of WITWATS is G. Edward Griffin. A disciple of Hitler-adoring conspiranoid Eustace Mullins, Griffin was a speechwriter for George Wallace’s presidential campaign. Like Mullins, he has made a career out of promoting a broad array of conspiracy theories and quacky medical “cures” while warning about the Commie menace.

WALLACE

George Wallace wasn’t a racist. He just didn’t like black people, that’s all.

Next to the work of Clifford Carnicom, the release and distribution of WITWATS is probably the single most important event in the history of the chemtrail phenomena. We’ll examine it in detail in a another post.

2012

Paul Wittenberger, co-director of What in the World Are They Spraying?, releases a documentary about depopulation, The Great Culling. It is promoted as a follow-up to WITWATS, but Michael J. Murphy and his Truth Media Productions distance themselves from it. Other chemtrail researchers, like Rosalind Peterson, ask not to be included in the film. Francis Mangels, a retiree who threatened to shoot down jets to preserve his veggie garden during a county meeting, also distances himself from the “culling” theory of chemtrails and the Wittenberger documentary.