Flim-Flam Friday: Chlorella

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Chlorella

Last week I glimpsed a Facebook ad for “nature’s perfect superfood”, Chlorella, a freshwater green algae that grows naturally in certain parts of Asia.
Every single time I hear the term “superfood”, this happens:

redalert.gif

There are two reasons for that.
1. Sure, certain foods are nutrient-dense, but foods slapped with the prefix “super” usually turn out to be plain old food, neither  more nor less healthful than other foods in the same category. For instance, acai berries were hailed as a superfood and an anti-aging aid due to their high levels of antioxidants, but researchers have pointed out the berries contain about the same amount of antioxidants as other (far less expensive) fruits like blueberries and grapes. (1) Thanks to the trendiness of acai products, rural Brazilians who rely upon the berries as a staple food find their stomachs grumbling. (2)
2. You probably don’t need dietary supplements if you are healthy and have a varied, nutrient-rich diet. Certain foods or supplements might be beneficial when you have a deficiency, but if you don’t have a deficiency, you will get little to no benefit from them. (3)

Superfood

Looks even sillier than it sounds.


What does Chlorella supposedly do?

An incredibly broad range of claims has been made about the health benefits of Chlorella. In addition to being hailed as a nutrient-dense superfood (example), a detoxifying agent, and an energy booster, one Japanese study suggests it can:

– reduce body-fat percentage
– alleviate Type 2 diabetes by reducing blood-glucose levels
– help reduce cholesterol (4)

Many, many scientifically unsupported claims are being made about Chlorella. It can supposedly aid digestion by stimulating the growth of probiotic bacteria, treat ulcers, alleviate depression, increase “liver energy”, prevent or even cure cancer, and “boost immunity” (which would be a bad thing, if your immunity is normal).

Does it work?

As a food source? Yes (see “The Bottom Line” at the end of this post). As a cure-all pill, diet aid, or detoxifying agent? Probably not.
The problem with the bulk of the recent research involving Chlorella is that the results have not yet been replicated. When the Telegraph breathlessly tells you Chlorella can “reduce body-fat percentage”, they’re not telling you that this was found in just one study. (4)

At one time, Dr. Joseph Mercola claimed Chlorella could “fight cancer”. As absolutely zero evidence supports this, and federal law prohibits supplement suppliers from making health-related claims for their products, the FDA ordered Mercola to stop making that claim (and several others) on his website. So then he switched to saying Chlorella could eliminate your risk of getting cancer. The FDA ordered him to stop saying that, as well. Has this prevented Mercola from making extravagant claims about the curative properties of Chlorella? Nope. These days, he declares it can “prevent or ease” everything from stress to liver cancer. (5)

A lot of woo has attached itself to Chlorella over the years. Erich Von Däniken of “ancient astronauts” fame proposed in his 1980 book Signs of the Gods that maybe the Ark of the Covenant was a miniature nuclear reactor and manna machine. According to this theory, the “ark machine” absorbed and stored dew, to which green algae (Chlorella) was added, and poof! Delicious manna came out of the machine. It would have been radioactive as hell, but meh. Logic is for the unimaginative.
Not that Von Däniken was being particularly imaginative; he borrowed the entire “alien manna machine” concept from an April Fool’s article in New Scientist, which later became a book.

moses_speaks

“We have reached the Promised Land!
Sadly, you all have cancer.”

One health blogger says she’s taking Chlorella to “detox heavy metals” that supposedly remain in her body from chemotherapy she received some time ago. This is not a sound decision. First of all, heavy metals can be eliminated from the body only if treatment is administered immediately after exposure. Secondly, nothing in Chlorella has been shown to remove metals from the body. Thirdly, there is only one heavy metal involved with chemo (platinum, found in the chemo drugs Carboplatin and cisplatin). The platinum from both drugs generally remains in cells for up to 180 days. (6) Even if Chlorella could bind heavy metals, it would be incapable of removing them from the tissues and bloodstream without  the aid of chelation. (5)

The Bottom Line

So, Chlorella manna and Chlorella “metal detox” are bunk. But is Chlorella a superfood? In the ’50s and ’60s, scientists thought it could be. After WWII, the Baby Boom led governments around the world to study Chlorella in the hope it could be used to feed the masses cheaply and efficiently in the event of food shortages. NASA studied it with a view to feeding it to astronauts, and perhaps growing it on space stations. But processing Chlorella for consumption turned out to be too costly and time-consuming for either purpose, and it was relegated to the dietary supplement shelves of health food stores. It is an excellent food source. In its dried form, Chlorella is 45% protein, 20% carbohydrate, 20% fat, 5% fibre, and 10% vitamins and minerals. It contains nine essential amino acids. (7)
But according to an article on Chlorella at WebMD, the quality of the Chlorella found in supplements can vary wildly. The Chlorella in some products may contain only 7% protein, for instance.
To become a supplement, Chlorella is dried , crushed to a powder, and converted to small emerald tablets, which are vaguely reminiscent of Soylent Green. If the cell walls remain intact – and there are indications that this is the case with some Chlorella supplements – the Chlorella will be of no benefit to humans.
The recommended daily dosage for one of the most popular brands of Chlorella tablet is 15 tablets per day, at about $34US per 300 tablets. Perhaps this makes sense if you don’t have access to fresh, inexpensive greens like kale, but for the average consumer this is a pretty penny to spend on what are essentially veggie pills. A diet with sufficient carbs, protein, and vitamins will not require Chlorella.


Sources:

1. – Kuskoski EM, Asuero AG, Morales MT, Fett R, et al. “Wild fruits and pulps of frozen fruits: antioxidant activity, polyphenols and anthocyanins”. Cienc Rural 36 (July/August 2006)
– Seeram NP, Aviram M, Zhang Y, et al. “Comparison of antioxidant potency of commonly consumed polyphenol-rich beverages in the United States”. Journal of Agriculutral Food Chemicals 56 (February 2008). (abstract)
2.‘Superfood’ Promoted on Oprah’s Site Robs Amazon Poor of Staple” by Adriana Brasileiro, Bloomberg, May 14/09
3. Brown University’s page on nutrition supplements
4. T Mizoguchi, I Takehara, T Masuzawa. “Nutrigenomic studies of effects of Chlorella on subjects with high-risk factors for lifestyle-related disease“. Journal of Medicinal Food 11:3 (Sept. 2008)
5.Dr. Oz Revisited” by David Gorski, Science Based Medicine blog, Feb. 7/12.
6. Elke EM Brouwers, Alwin DR Huitema, Jos H Beijnen, Jan HM Schellens. “Long-term platinum retention after treatment with cisplatin and oxaliplatin“. Clinical Pharmacology 2008, 8:7.
7. Belasco, Warren. “Algae Burgers for a Hungry World? The Rise and Fall of Chlorella Cuisine”. Technology and Culture 38:3 (July 1997). Available from Jstor.

Ads that Make You Go "Really?"


A few TV commercials set off my B.S. detector the other day, so I decided to look at the products’ active ingredients and figure out if they can really do what they supposedly can do….

Mouthwash reduces “biofilm”. An ad for a popular brand of mouthwash implies that in addition to tartar buildup, plaque, and gum disease, brushers must also fight biofilm, a sticky layer of germs that adheres to the teeth no matter how frequently and thoroughly you brush. They make it sound pretty damn scary, this newly discovered scourge to dental health. Biofilm covers up the plaque, rendering it inaccessible to regular brushing! First you must get rid of the biofilm, and this mouthwash will supposedly help you do that.
Quick trips to Wikipedia and the American Dental Association confirmed what I already suspected: The term “biofilm” is a reference to plaque, not to an entirely separate layer of scum on the teeth. You don’t have to break through it to get the plaque; it is the plaque. Hell, even the Listerine website itself tells you that “biofilm” is the new word for plaque. But the commercial tries to trick you into buying an old product to fight a new enemy – which turns out to be an old enemy with a new, sciency name.

Dental spray reduces plaque on your dog’s teeth. An order-now ad running frequently on late-night TV tells us that instead of brushing or costly and risky cleanings at the vet’s office, you can easily and safely administer a dental spray to your dog’s mouth once a day. It will reduce plaque buildup just as effectively as the other methods of plaque removal.
As it turns out, though, this “plaque spray” has essentially the same ingredients as human mouthwash (containing 25% alcohol and some herbal extracts), meaning it can’t serve as an adequate replacement for brushing and regular professional cleanings.

A commercial for a yogurt-based dairy drink hints that it can boost your immunity, but it doesn’t actually say that outright. In fact, they use the French spelling of the word immunity. Does this mean they want to sound Continental, or does it perhaps mean they can’t prove their product “boosts” your immunity? And what does “boosting” immunity mean, anyway? It’s a term so vague as to be meaningless. There is some clinical evidence for health benefits from the bacteria in yogurt, but some researchers have noted (here, for example) that there is currently no evidence of benefits to consumers who are already healthy.

How Do Ion Foot Baths and Foot Detox Pads Work?

“Ion foot baths” (also known as ionic foot baths, ionizing foot baths, or aqua detox) are showing up at countless naturopathic clinics, salons, and spas these days. You’ve probably heard at least one person you know raving about them, urging you to try one as soon as possible. They can supposedly draw toxins out of the body that can’t be expelled in any other way, using nothing more than ionized water. The idea is that the postive and negative ions in the water act like magnets on the large pores of the feet, extracting toxins (and/or heavy metals, excess fat, and pathogens) by osmosis. The way a friend described it to me (with a mixture of awe and disgust), you’ll know it’s working because the water becomes cloudy or mucky. According to her naturopath, the treatment leaches essential minerals out of your body, too, so you have to take supplements before and after your foot bath.
Some foot bath vendors claim their products can improve liver or kidney function and/or your overall health, “amplify your energy field”, relax you, and do all the cool stuff that other detox products (teas, diets, etc.) supposedly do. Online reviews hint at miraculous cures of everything from Chronic Fatique Syndrome to Lyme disease. A few people have suggested aqua detox could cure autism.

When you get one of these foot baths, you’ll be asked to place your feet in a small basin of electrolyzed water. Then your homeopath or spa attendant will sprinkle some sea salt into the water to increase its electrical conductivity (it’s actually essential). Within 30 minutes, the water will turn into a disgusting brown swamp of “toxins”, probably including clots of grayish stuff and nasty little chunks of… well, whatever. The point is that the bad stuff is gone and you can be healthier and happier (after you pay your $35-$75 bill). You can also purchase ion foot bath kits, or achieve similar results with foot pads like these. You simply apply it to your foot like a bandage, and voila! It’ll look like a dead hobo’s sock in no time at all.

You can see many astounding demonstrations of ion footbaths and foot pads at work on YouTube. They’re all pretty gross.

The most amazing thing you won’t hear about ion foot baths is that they work on just about anything! For instance, if you drop a Mel Gibson DVD into a pool of electrolyzed water with some table salt sprinkled in it, you’ll cleanse it of its sins! The water will turn just as murky and retch-inducing as it does when you put your feet in it. Awesome.

Actually, that’s not the most amazing thing about ion foot baths. The most amazing thing is that even if you don’t put anything at all in the basin, the water will still turn to crud! Wow! So this means one of three things:

1. The foot cleanser is detoxing itself.
2. A ghost is sticking his feet in it.
3. This whole ion foot-cleansing thing is a freaking scam or a mass delusion.

Here’s the deal: In order to electrolyze the water, the basin must contain metal elements that serve as electrodes (prongs, rods, whatever). When you electrolyze metal, it sheds minute flakes of iron oxide (rust) into the water, turning it a brownish colour. Guaranteed. In fact, one good way to polish your silver is to electrolyze it.
The truth is, the pores of your feet aren’t anything special. Sure, there are a lot of them, but the waste products that collect in the feet (mainly urea and creatinine) can’t pass through the skin with or without the help of ions; they are eventually absorbed into other tissues without causing any damage to the body. Not to mention most of the body’s waste is colourless, so you wouldn’t be able to see it even if it could be drawn out in the foot bath. What you’re seeing in the ion bathwater is essentially rust, and maybe some iron precipitate flotsam.

The detox foot pads are a different story. They contain dehydrated pyroligneous acid, commonly known as wood vinegar or bamboo vinegar, which turns brownish (and smelly) when exposed to moisture. Contrary to the ad claims made about its detoxifying and curative benefits, wood vinegar has no known health benefits at all.
Pittsburgh’s WTAE has tested the pads and found that they turn brown when exposed to any liquid. 20/20 tested two popular brands on a group of volunteers, eliciting a few good anecdotal reports of increased energy. But analysis of the pads by MNS Labs revealed that not one of them contained heavy metals, parasites, fats, or toxins.

In the world of ion foot detox, you’ll find scams-within-scams. The website for Dr. Mary Stagg’s product line declares that Stagg is the “ORIGINAL” developer of the ionic detox footbath, but on the very same website she explains that she only did “further development” on an ion foot spa process that doctors in Colorado and Florida were already using. And the naturopath who told my friend she would have to buy certain supplements from him to replace the minerals that were leached from her body by foot detox? Pure crap. You won’t lose any more minerals in an ion bath than you will in a nice bubblebath.

The ion footbath has been thoroughly discredited as a health aid by Ben Goldacre’s Bad Science column, by chemists, by physicians, even by some manufacturers and vendors (who admit the water will turn yucky with or without your feet). It’s a glorified footsoak with a bit of prestidigitation thrown in.

Wednesday Weirdness Roundup

  • Paula Oliviera, a 26-year-old Brazilian lawyer, claimed earlier this month that while visiting Switzerland she was assaulted by a group of neo-Nazi punks. The three skinheads grabbed her as she stood outside a train station in Zurich, speaking Portuguese over her cell phone. They made some racial slurs, then carved the initials of Switzerland’s wildly popular anti-immigration political party, the Swiss People’s Party (SVP), onto her pregnant stomach. Due to the stress of the attack, Oliveira said, she miscarried twins. It didn’t doctors long to figure out that Oliveira wasn’t pregnant in the first place, and that the cuts on her abdomen weren’t characteristic of a knife attack. This allegedly fake racial assault is only the latest in a long, sad series of self-inflicted “hate crimes” that usually involve a seemingly normal young woman carving or writing racial slurs on her own flesh, then blaming it on men of another ethnicity or race. As with the case of Ashley Todd (“mugged” and cut by a fictitious Obama supporter late last year), the attacks are often so poorly thought-out and staged that investigators get to the bottom of them within hours. I’ll be devoting a post to this phenomenon later in the week.
  • Some 9/11 Truthers suspect the horrific plane crash in Buffalo was more than an accident. Why? Because there were no fewer than two activists on the flight; 9/11 widow Beverly Eckert (who was preparing to sue the U.S. government) and Alison Des Forges of Human Rights Watch (who testified before the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda). Michelle Pogue of Montreal 9/11 Truth (incidentally, one of the most rabidly anti-Zionist Truth groups in the world) suspects Des Forges was killed to cover up the fact that the Rwandan genocide was a “U.S. and French proxy war.” Pogue even accuses Ms. Des Forges of being part of the cover-up! Thankfully, not all Truthers are quite this duuuuuuhhhhh: A friend who belongs to Pilots for 9/11 Truth suspects the crash was the result of a tail stall brought on by tailplane icing (explained in a 1998 instructional video). This is a deadly situation that not all pilots are well-trained to handle, thanks to lax FAA and corporate policies.
  • And speaking of Truther bitchmonsters, a particularly nasty one who shall still remain nameless offered last week to contribute a travel package door prize to a Truth convention the significant other is organizing. When he declined, explaining that this event isn’t a freaking corporate Christmas party, she predictably became defensive and snippy. My alarm bells went off when she started to refer to the travel package in Quixway-like terms (“many satisfied customers would tell you how happy this made them!”). Sure enough, a quick search revealed that Ultra Life travel packages, while apparently legit, are part of a pyramidish MLM setup called Business in Motion. BIM “salespeople” don’t make most of their money from travel packages, they make it from signing up new “salespeople” at $3500 a pop. It has left many a disgruntled would-be travel agent in its wake, as this CBC Marketplace report shows. Why doesn’t it surprise me that an Alex Jones fan and fluoride-phobe would fall for this kind of thing?
  • Some Truthers and anti-Zionists have been griping all week that “Israel wants northern Iraq.” Aside from a handful of reports in dodgy Arab newspapers, I can’t find a single piece of corroboration for this. Kindly let me know if you spot any. There was a piece in Haaretz about the possibility of oil being pumped from northern Iraq to Haifa, but this doesn’t quite equate to “Israel wants northern Iraq.”
  • The other day I saw a bizarre infomercial advertising “Your Baby Can Read!”, a flashcard and DVD system that can supposedly teach kids as young as 3 months old to recognize two- and three-syllable words. Sounds like total b.s., just like the infant Mozart Effect. But even if it’s not, as Shelley Boettcher of the Calgary Herald asks, why would a baby need to read? Isn’t there enough time for that later on, when they’ve mastered potty training and walking?

Wednesday Weirdness Roundup

Here are just a few of the bizarre bits of nonsense I’ve encountered this week:

  • “You can treat just about anything through the ears,” said a friend who had tiny adhesives stamped all over both of his ears. The adhesives, called “seeds”, are placed on acccupressure points. Every so often, he has to squeeze each one to help them do whatever-it-is they do, which will somehow lower his cholesterol. As the ears are mainly cartilage, I don’t see why the seeds wouldn’t be just as effective if placed on the nose or the knees. Or why they would be effective at all, for that matter. “But it’s an ancient practice!” you might say. Yeah, well, ritual human sacrifice is ancient, and I’m not putting any stock in that, either.
  • Yet another conspiranoid warned me about one of the most sinister, the most fascistic, the most evil things the Illuminati criminals have dreamed up yet: The Codex Alimentarius. Gawd, even the name sends chills down the spine. What does it do? Does it involve high-tech new torture techniques that would make waterboarding look like a Sunday in the park? Is it a Satanic grimoire full of demon-summoning spells penned in the blood of virgins? Um, no. It’s a set of food, drug, and veterinary guidelines adopted by the World Health Organization back in the early ’60s. The guidelines are voluntary. They’re often used to settle international disputes over what’s safe for human consumption and what’s not (as with the “black-hearted chemicals” exported by China, for instance). The only reason people object to this perfectly sensible set of guidelines is that in some countries, it has been used when deciding to classify nutitritional supplements, herbal remedies, etc., as drugs. Typically this means that the products have to be properly labeled with all ingredients and safe dosages. If you’re selling a non-medicinal herbal concoction and claiming that it cures everything, you might be required to re-label/re-package your product. It does not typically mean, as other conspiranoids have told me, that armed SWAT teams will break into your health food store and confiscate all the vitamin C. It just means that non-pharma drugs have to be proven safe and effective, then appropriately labeled and marketed. Not a big deal, people. These guidelines have been around for decades, and I’m not seeing any decrease in the amount of snake oil available at every supplement/health food store.
  • A chiropracter in my neighborhood is advertising “laser stop-smoking therapy”. Like the ear-seeds, this “therapy” relies on accupressure points. The pulsating light is absorbed by the skin cells at these points, stimulating endorphin production. This eliminates urges to smoke or eat, while relieving stress. How does this differ from traditional accupuncture, which might not even work? Well, it doesn’t. It just sounds a lot fancier, and it appeals to people who are not overly fond of needles. Respectful Insolence has a good post on “cold laser therapy”.
  • The same conspiranoid who warned me about the Codex Alimentarius also informed me that Katrina survivors housed in trailer camps are really prisoners in lockdown, because they can’t return to the camps once they’ve left. Duh. Of course you can’t bip in and out of the camps whenever you feel like it; why should the government be paying for your housing if you’re spending half your time at a relative’s house? You have to prove that you don’t have a secondary residence in order to be housed for free. It’s just common sense. (BTW, even non-conspiranoid sources are pumping out alarmist stories about how the FEMA trailers are poisonous. What they won’t tell you is that all pre-fab homes have formeldehyde in them. This poses no serious health threat to the average person. And as for the domestic violence and gang activity that’s cropping up in the FEMA trailer camps? Show me one trailer park that doesn’t have identical problems.)
  • Alex Jones and company have been freaking out over H.R. 645, a bill to “provide temporary housing, medical, and humanitarian assistance to individuals and families dislocated due to an emergency or major disaster”. Obviously, this would be a good thing. But Jones et. al. are freaked out by the part of the bill that says the facilities can be used “to meet other appropriate needs, as determined by the Secretary of Homeland Security.” Admittedly, this is a bit troubling because it can be broadly interpreted. However, most rumours of American concentration camps turn out to be right-wing conspiracy theories based on misunderstandings, and they’ve been floating around since the 1930s. Let’s face it, if the U.S. really wanted to install a secret gulag system, they wouldn’t be telling you about it.

Stirwands and Purple Plates

(AKA Plastic and Aluminum)

Mystical-quantum gizmos + your water = plain ol’ water

I first heard of the Stirwand when Dr. Deagle, in his Granada Forum lecture, mentioned “special wands from Global Light Network that can actually change the structure of water to help ease specific conditions”.

This sounded like yet another structured water scam, so I investigated and found this website. The Stirwand is basically a plastic stick with a hollow handle that contains flakes of “high-matrix minerals”. For some reason, the product descriptions repeatedly point out that these minerals are naturally occurring. All minerals are naturally occurring.

So what are high-matrix minerals? After reading the product descriptions and watching an interview with David Schneider, the co-creator of the Stirwand, I still don’t know. Water is supposedly improved by the minerals by “accepting their imprint” – without these minerals touching the water. How does this work? The site offers only gibberish: The minerals somehow enter a “High Matrix lattice”, elevating themselves to “exhibit their exceptional qualities”, and alter the water with “noninvasive resonance”.
“These various manifestations of matter exist because their individual consciousness [sic] identify with different points within the matrix, those specifically which they consider to be real.”
I think what they’re trying to tell us is, “It works if you believe it works”.

However, the Stirwand does have predictable (if not exactly quantifiable) results, and there are many different kinds of Stirwand. The Gourmet model “enhances the vibration from food and beverages”. The Olympian “optimizes athletic performance”. The Gardener “enhances the vitality” of plants. The Calming wand can make alcholic beverages taste “significantly improved”. Etc.

A set of 8, with a carry pouch and “SP Sensor Balancing and Imprinting Plate”, costs $549.95 without shipping/handling. For that price, you could buy 3300 swizzles sticks at your local dollar store. Same diff. How do I know? Well, the “research” supporting the efficacy of the Stirwand is less than awe-inspiring. There’s something about “invetro test results” (if you can’t spell it, you can’t study it). And a “new clinical trial shows an average increase in hydration of 23.5%” after drinking Stirwand-treated water. An increase over what? Not drinking any water at all?
There are also a few tests you can perform at home, after you’ve purchased your Stirwand, like holding 8 oz. of treated water under your nose/chin for 30 seconds. “Be alert for anomolous phenomena…For those sensitive to subtle energies, these tests will illustrate that the water has a remarkable amount of…radiant heat and/or vortex patterned energy imitating from it [sic].”

Or you could be having an acid flashback.

What else does the Stirwand do?

– Like structured water and various other kinds of bogus bottled water, it supposedly makes water “more hydrating”. Admittedly, “Convention [science] will debate this, as inert objects traditionally do not produce substantial results in water. In this case, however, a quantum phenomenon trumps a Newtonian fundamental; Stirwands effects [sic] are varied, significant, and thought-provoking”. In other words, “We don’t know why this works, because it is scientifically impossible.”
– It cleans more effectively than ordinary water. It’s also more resistant to mold and bacteria.
– It “thickens” water and makes it smoother, though I don’t really see any benefit to this.
– Like all New Age products, its capabilities “greatly exceed the known potentials” of its actual components (plastic and some mineral flakes).

In my opinion, paying $75 to make my drinking water “thicker” and “more hydrating” wouldn’t be worth it, even if the Stirwand could actually do these things. Which it cannot. Whether its designers think it works or not, it’s a swizzle stick clumsily marketed as a magic wand.

But the Purple Plates are even goofier. Yesterday, over brunch, I watched a friend take a thin rectangle of mauve-coloured, anodized aluminum out of her purse and place it beneath her water bottle. She explained that these things are supposed to energize water, de-alcoholize alcoholic beverages, and de-caffeinate caffeinated beverages as well as heal cuts and scrapes within minutes, using “Tesla technology.”

Purple Plates were introduced in the ’70s and later popularized by pop astrologer Linda Goodman, in her book Star Signs. Here’s what one Amazon reviewer had to say about them: “I would be extremely surprised if even the most diehard skeptic tried it and felt nothing change for the positive in their energy…I have healed many an ailment or imbalance with the Chi that Reiki energy is, but these Purple plates are like Reiki energy X 100…”

I was less than six inches away from one of these super-powered plates for at least an hour and a half, and I noticed no changes in my energy. I was relaxed and happy, but some conversation and a good soy latte on a Sunday afternoon will do that to me every time. No aluminum required.

But why do the plates “work”? Well, for basically the same reasons as Stirwands don’t do. They were designed by Ralph Bergstresser, an alleged assistant to Nikola Tesla (the unofficial mascot of Woo).

This is really a subject for another post, but I’d just like to point out that if every person who claimed to be a protege of Tesla actually had been a Tesla protege, Tesla could have staffed a facility the size of CERN with his lab assistants. For this reason, it’s actually easier to believe that crackpot inventors are channeling the spirit of Tesla.

According to purpleplates.com, the “atoms and electrons of the aluminum have been altered so that the plates are in resonance, or in tune, with the basic energy of the Universe. They function as transceivers . . . creating a field of energy around themselves that will penetrate any material substance by osmosis.
The items are made with materials characterized by naturally orderly lattices – such as aluminum, sand and certain plastics. These lattices are energetically forced into a still more homogeneous and regular patterns and molecular characteristics.”

In other words, “We don’t know why this works.”
As one Amazon reviewer wrote of Linda Goodman’s Star Signs: “The big purple plate actually worked for a very big problem, so how can I be anything but a believer? I understand that not everyone approaches this with an open mind, and that might be the reason nothing works for them. After all, the power of each individual mind works to bring about our own realities.”

Basically, if you don’t expect it to work, it probably won’t work. This is odd. Penicillin, vitamins, pencils, humidifiers, and teakettles will work whether you “believe” in them or not. By this reviewer’s logic, if I pick up a purple crayon and say, “Crayons don’t exist”, then apply the alleged crayon to some very real paper, the crayon might not work.

I couldn’t find anything about de-caffeination, but purpleplates.com does warn us that a Purple Plate placed under a martini will render the drink tasteless “like water” after about 3 minutes, apparently removing all alcohol from the glass by osmosis. Sure thing.

Purple plates can do all the same things a Stirwand, or a QLink pendant, or structured water will definitely not supposedly do: Energize and refresh, heal cuts and burns quickly, perk up houseplants, relieve pain, etc. However, the Tesla magic has made these little pieces of aluminum so “resonant” that, according to Linda Goodman’s Star Signs, they have been known to dematerialize from time to time. And they don’t always re-materialize, either. Buyer beware!

At about $25 for the standard model, at least Purple Plates won’t set you back as much as a Stirwand. But they won’t do anything for you, either.

The Hazards of Magical Thinking

I’ve talked about the perils of paranoia, and now it’s time to examine the problem of magical thinking – irrational causal reasoning. Like paranoia, magical thinking appears to be on the rise these days. And magical thinking can be dangerous. The Xhosa and Thembu tribes of South Africa nearly starved themselves into oblivion because some a**hole ghost told them to sacrifice all their cattle. Many an alchemist poisoned himself in his quest for gold or immortality. Bridget Cleary was beaten and burned to death by a husband who suspected her of being a malicious fairy. Belief in the efficacy of lucky talismans or rituals can lead people to take risks they normally wouldn’t even consider.

Now, there’s probably little to no harm in believing you’re an elf, wearing a QLink pendant, or practicing feng shui. But here are just a few examples of how magical thinking can go seriously, seriously wrong…

Fatal exorcisms: Untrained or inexperienced people who diagnose possession and attempt exorcisms have killed possessees, either by withholding food and water or by using violent means to dislodge the demons.
– In 1973, 19-year-old Anneliese Michel died while being exorcised by two priests. It subsequently came to light that she had stopped taking her medication for epileptic seizures.
– Father Daniel Petru Corogeanu of Romania starved a nun to death when he lashed her to a cross for days in an attempt to get the demons out of her.
– In 2000, Pastor Luke Lee of New Zealand killed Kum Ok Lee in the course of an exorcism. At his trial, he calmly assured the court she would rise from the dead. Also in New Zealand, in 2007, 22-year-old Janet Moses was drowned by family members who believed they were cleansing her of a curse.
– In 2003, 8-year-old Terrance Cottrell Jr. was smothered to death by a pastor during an exorcism.
– Last year, Ronald Marquez beat up his daughter and tried to perform an exorcism on his 3-year-old granddaughter. Police summoned to the scene by neighbors found Marquez with the child in a headlock, his daughter huddling nude and bloody in a corner. They Tasered him, which resulted in his death.
– In February of this year, Jan Clark murdered his wife after performing an exorcism on her. He claims the demons entered his body and forced him to kill her.

Baby-tossing: As reported recently, parents in India consider it lucky to pitch their infants 50 feet to the ground from the rooftop of a mosque. Do I really have to tell you what’s wrong with this?

“Reptilians steal babies”: Belief in a race of ultradimensional or extraterrestrial lizard-like entities that preys upon human beings is causing great emotional distress for some people. Kinesiologists Michael and Stephanie Relfe believe their first child was stolen from Stephanie’s womb by Reptilians (they also believe Michael worked for the government on offworld colonies). Reverse-speech analyst Peggy Kane says she has been raped by Reptilians from the lower astral plane, and that a close friend was brutally murdered by them while he was a guest in her home. Psychic alien abductee Ted Rice believes that as an 8-year-old boy he was taken into a spaceship with his grandmother and forced to watch her copulate with a tall, reptoid alien disguised as his dead grandfather. When the woman prevented this creature from raping her grandson, she was warned she would die in two days’ time. She did, Rice said. The late Karla Turner, author of Rice’s biography, thought her fatal cancer was caused by Reptilians. She also thought the reptoids had eaten Rice’s body and replaced it with an exact duplicate made from organic materials obtained during cattle mutilations! Peggy Kane also says many humans have been replaced by clones, after their real bodies have been horrifically tortured and consumed by the Reptilians.
And it gets worse. In 1999, professional scam artist Diazen Hossencofft managed to convince a clique of followers that his ex-wife, Girly Chew, was a Reptilian priestess in disguise. They abducted and murdered her at his request. Hossencofft also persuaded various women that he could cure cancer, and keep them eternally youthful with a serum he had developed. He told some his young son was a super-kid genetically engineered by NASA scientists. (This case was the basis for the CSI episode “Leapin’ Lizards”.)

Taking health advice from visionaries and mystics:
– The Conscious Development cult led by Texan Terri Keanely (formerly Hoffman) has been linked to several suicides, murders, and suspicious deaths, but one of the most disturbing stories is that of Hoffman’s third husband, Richard Donald Hoffman. He committed suicide in 1988, leaving behind a video explaining that he had been diagnosed with inoperable cancer. However, no trace of cancer was found in Hoffman’s body during autopsy. His children allege that Terri Hoffman persuaded their father he had cancer by revealing visions of his imminent death.
Keanely is currently one half of MoneyForce Press and co-author of The Colors of Money: Finding Your MoneyForce.
– Brazil’s Joao de Dios (John of God) is not a doctor, but he can channel dead doctors to perform surgery through him (unlawfully, I might add). Some of his surgeries take place only on a psychic level, but others are hands-on, invasive procedures that involve real instruments. These don’t resemble any known medical operations. ABC News reported in 2005 that one patient had forceps shoved up his nose and violently twisted. Needless to say, Joao doesn’t do follow-ups. Yet he boasts of healing 15 million people in 35 years. As James Randi points out “Working 8 hours a day, taking no lunch hour, 6 full days a week for 35 years, taking no holidays at all, he would have to “heal” ONE PERSON EVERY 21 SECONDS of every minute of every hour of every day he worked, with no time off, and no failures!” Busy guy.
Ask yourself, what would happen if Joao collapsed during a surgery?
– Mother of five Michelle Mingo starved her infant son to death in 1999 because her sister-in-law had received a vision telling her Mingo needed to purge herself of her “ungodly vanity” and prescribed a dangerous diet regimen for both mother and son.

Indigo/psychic children: Thousands of parents believe their children are the next step in human evolution, endowed with marvelous powers: ESP, telekinesis, mediumistic ability, the gift of listening to trees (shades of The Ramones), etc. How are these children going to feel when, as adults, they gradually (or suddenly) realize that they’re just plain ol’, run-of-the-mill human beings? This is much bigger than Santa and the Tooth Fairy. These kids are essentially being told that they’re supernaturally gifted, super-human, or just not human at all. That’s a huge misconception to get over.

Not to mention, magical thinking can lose you a heap o’ money:

– It has been estimated that Scientology Clears will have spent between $50,000 to +$300,000 in auditing and other costs in order to reach that level. For these prices, you can get psychoanalyzed (which is all auditing is, anyway, in a cruder form) and rent dozens of sci-fi movies. Same diff.
– Many have fallen for the Black Dollar (or Wash Wash) scam, but some have lost their life savings after being convinced by psychics that their money is cursed.
– Money spent on Kabbalah Center merchandise, QLink pendants, feng shui consultations, aura cleansing, firewalking workshops, and other dubiously effective products, treatments, and lessons could instead be invested in things that will benefit you directly. One example: Madonna spends the rough equivalent of one person’s college loans on Kabbalah Water every year.
– Psychic surgery can cost hundreds of dollars, not including travel, meals, accomodations, and bribes paid to customs officials.
– A 2-hour family session at A Place of Light, a center for “intuitive children” and their relatives, starts at $75. The day program for preschoolers costs $50 per week, though there is a discount if their siblings can speak with the dead or something. Factor in travel costs (the center is in Massachusetts) and you’re looking at some serious cash.

The Gravity of the Situation

The amazing gravity-powered lamp design that won a 2nd-place Greener Gadgets Conference competition award for Virginia Tech grad Clay Moulton last month is too good to be true. Literally.

This is how Moulton’s Gravia Lamp is supposed to work: Weights totalling 10 lbs. move slowly down a narrow brass slide, activating a rotor. The rotor powers ten LED lights in the 4-ft.-high acrylic column, generating about as much light as a 40-watt bulb for up to four hours. The weights would have to be moved to the top of the slide at least once a day, but that’s a small price to pay for a cordless lamp that could last for an estimated 200 years.

Though public response was enthusiastic, Moulton likely would have hit a snag when he applied for a patent: As pointed out by Colin Watters on the Green Building forum, even with maximum efficiency (100%) LED lights, which don’t exist, the lamp would have to weigh 1.4 metric tons to function as intended. Like so-called free energy devices, the theoretical lamp simply generates more energy than what is being put into it.

Facedwith these facts, Moulton admitted that his design was purely theoretical.

The World of Dr. Deagle

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Dr. William Deagle is a physician, a prophet, a government insider/whistleblower, and one of the two witnesses described in the Book of Revelation. He knows what really happened at Columbine, the World Trade Center, and Oklahoma City. He could be the ruler of the world, but he has chosen to enlighten the masses instead. Thanks to him, the world may someday be safe from Modified Attack Baboons.

 

I knew nothing of Dr. Bill Deagle until I saw his presentation at the 2007 Vancouver 9/11 Truth Conference. As EcoShock Radio host Alex Smith wrote of Deagle’s Vancouver talk, “I smelt the Snake Oil pouring from the stage.” Even though Deagle spared us his wackiest claims, I caught a whiff of it, too. For one thing, he’s been witness to virtually every significant event of the last two decades. I call this Forrest Gump Syndrome.

Dr. Deagle first came to public attention as a lecturer for The Prophecy Club, then made a name for himself among conspiracy theorists in the wake of the Columbine massacre, but he now claims that his involvement with the deepest and darkest conspiracies of our time began much earlier.

The Doctor Deagle

Born in Detroit and raised in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Deagle attributes his superior intelligence to the fact that his mom smoked while pregnant. This increased his neural pathways. Also, aliens interested in his superior intellect observed him closely throughout his childhood.

Deagle received a science degree from Dalhousie Unversity after studying biology, nuclear physics, marine bacteriology, and chemistry. He says he was planning to study nuclear physics at MIT before deciding on med school at Dalhousie (’73 to ’77). He is a GP, and variously claims to be a microbiologist, a physicist, and a toxicologist.

He lists his professional affiliations and titles after his MD: ABFP (American Board of Family Practice), CCFP (Canadian College of Family Practice), CIME (Certified Independent Medical Examiner) , AAAAM (American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine), ACOEM (American College of Occupational and Environmental Medicine), AAPM (could be the American Association of Physicists in Medicine, or the American Academy of Pain Medicine, or the American Academy of Pain Medication), SPPM (no clue), and AAEM (American Academy of Environmental Medicine). (1)

In 1974 he was “personally recruited” to take a year off med school and do his Ph.D. in virology with the CIA in Uganda, to help create the AIDS virus. He turned down the offer.

He says that in ’75 the infamous brainwasher Ewen Cameron was brought to Dalhousie as a guest speaker. Slight catch: Dr. Cameron died in 1967. Deagle explains that he “supposedly died”. (2)

He seems to have told some people that he graduated from med school in 5 months.

After med school Deagle wed his first wife, Denise, and practiced medicine in several Canadian cities. In 1980 he met his current wife, Michelle, and they left their spouses to marry each other. They then embarked on a spiritual quest that led them in and out of many churches that one acquaintance described as “extremist”. (3) In 1988 they founded Clay and Iron Ministries. Dr. Deagle declared himself a prophet and gave lectures for The Prophecy Club. They had children, and in the mid-’90s settled in Denver.

Deagle says he has worked in military special operations and cybernetics in the U.S. and Canada. In the early ’80s, with a Canadian government grant, he produced 12 devices that create scalar holographic induction morphogenic fields to induce anti-aging (I suspect this involves the pseudoscientific theories of Rupert Sheldrake). He also worked out the physics of how quantum biology works, yet somehow never received any credit for any of these accomplishments.
He worked on the Iridium satellites, Echalon, World Identification, and Reagan’s Strategic Defense Initiative (“Star Wars”). He also treated people working on highly classified projects, and taught bioterrorism response/environmental medicine to Special Operation (Delta) forces, and exchanged info with them. They gave him sections of the Patriot Act two years before it was announced; they had been written 12-15 years earlier. In 1999 he was part of Operation TOPOFF; under Dr. Jay Reddington and various agencies (FBI, CDC, etc.) he helped run bioterrorism simulations in Denver. He has said the bubonic plague, smallpox, and anthrax simulations (some computer, some live) were disastrous. (2)

Thanks to his contacts in the NSA and ATF, Deagle knows about top-secret ops like Project Omega, a super intelligence agency that oversees all intelligence agencies on the planet. It is staffed by humans and aliens.

Dr. Deagle was a GP in Denver for several years, but now that he’s on some kind of government hit list he has chosen to hole up in Canada. Good thinkin’, Dr. D: They’ll never find you here. Not unless They do something really extreme, like go to a gas station and buy a road atlas.
I love it when people say they’re on a government hit list. They usually say it from the podium of a very public place that has no security whatsoever. Isn’t it ironic how some people who spoke from a podium and didn’t say this ended up being assassinated? Like Malcolm X and RFK? But the people who do say it usually die of old age? I mean, for the past 30+ years Lyndon LaRouche has been telling his groupies that the KGB, the CIA, and the British monarchy are gunning for him, yet he’s now in his 80s and doesn’t have so much as a paper cut to show for it.

Why did Dr. Deagle really leave Denver? After a woman named Debra Darnell died under his care, her family complained that he had over-prescribed medications (102 of them in 9 months). In March 2004 Deagle’s license was temporarily suspended for over-prescribing drugs to three of his patients; one died from combined effects of the various meds, one suffered withdrawal and had to be hospitalized, and the third landed in the ER in a discombobulated state. (3)

Deagle insists the medical board of Colorado are criminals on the order of Dr. Mengele. He says of big pharma/chema, “They would make the high priests of any ancient civilization cry for the horrendous horrors that have been perpetrated by these monsters. For example, the war against pain doctors and pain patients…I’ve been harrassed by the board of medical examiners, trying to prove that I’m nothing.” He hints that the government has dismantled his career in retaliation for his whistleblowing, ; one of his lecture slides reads “Administrative Rendition: Deagle Administrative Rendition license re Pain Medicine and NWO”, and contains info about Professor Steven Jones’s early retirement and the government harassment of Merchant Marine whistleblower Eric Shine. (2)

On June 1, 2007, Deagle’s Colorado medical license was revoked for over-prescribing highly addictive pain medications to six of his patients. He is not currently licensed to practice medicine in Nova Scotia. Michelle Deagle gave up her real estate career to run Nutrimedical, and this online herbal supplement/emergency preparedness store is their sole visible means of support, aside from the Nutrimedical Report radio show and the occasional paid lecture.

The Prophet Deagle

In the ’80s and early ’90s, Dr. Deagle was a popular speaker on The Prophecy Club (TPC). This is a forum that combines Christian apocalyptic prophecies with popular conspiracy theories; many of its speakers claim to be reformed Satanists or occultists (notably Bill Schnoebelen), and others are supposedly former members of the intelligence community. Some of them, like Deagle, present prophecies that are invariably wrong.
TPC was started by fundamentalist Stan Johnson. According to a pamphlet entitled The Deadly Medicine of Dr. Bill Deagle by James Lloyd (available from the Christian Media Ministry website), Deagle had a falling-out with Johnson during a visit to Israel. After that, Deagle left or was removed from TPC. Johnson later apologized for the statements made by some of TPC’s speakers, including Deagle, and made it clear that he no longer believes Deagle’s claims – if he ever did. Though Deagle’s brand of religiosity is still popular with a handful of believers, like Rainbow Serpent Medicine Mar’ya, he seems to have fallen out of favour with the prophetic-conspiracy crowd.
Deagle continues to give Christian presentations in addition to his 9/11 ones, however; in 2005 he and Pastor Butch Paugh gave a talk titled “The Exposing the Beast Seminar”.

In his Prophecy Club lectures, Dr. Deagle actually identified himself as one of the two witnesses mentioned in the Book of Revelation (11), men who stand in the streets of Jerusalem and warn of the events of the endtimes until they are murdered. According to Lloyd, he also named a source far higher up than his current NSA contacts: the Archangel Gabriel. Gabriel first appeared to Deagle on April 24, 1999 (four days after Columbine), but the visit was announced by the audible voice of God Himself, instructing him to take two specific nutrient capsules and go to bed. As he slept, Gabriel appeared to him and transported him to Kosovo to witness firsthand the horrors wrought by war. He watched Milosevic argue with a Russian diplomat just before the archangel moved him to the White House basement to see the Clintons crowing over their success at demonizing Milosevic. Next he saw German soldiers marching to cries of “Hail the UN World Armed Forces!” Later, Gabriel told him about the Great Falling Away and took him to a super-secret military base within Cheyenne Mountain to see a neutron fuse button that can shut down all communications systems in the world. (I assume this vision is what Deagle is referring to when he says “I have been in underground cities”.) Gabriel also revealed the Satanic master plan of Project Omega and the nonhuman highest levels of Freemasonry (above 180 degrees). At the very tip-top of the food chain is Pindar, the Satanic Lizard King described by Arizona Wilder. (according to Wilder, Pindar is Prince Charles’s real father). Deagle actually met Pindar. Three times Pindar tried to recruit him as his understudy – to “run the world on behalf of the evil doers.” (2)

One of his prophesies involved Indianapolis. After praying for discernment of the forces of darkness that surrounded the city, he was told by Gabriel that it was created as a womb for the goddess Diana (In-DIANA-apolis), and that it is revered as such by local Freemasons. “A gate to the evil one has been created by the shedding of innocent blood.” (4)

Alrighty, then.

In ’88 Deagle and his wife founded Clay and Iron Ministry, “commissioned by the Most High God”, for the purpose of preparing humanity for the “Times of Jacobs Trouble” [sic]. As a “prolife messianic Christian physician”, Dr. Deagle oposes many things: transhumanism/cyborg technology, GM foods, fluoride, RFID identification microchips, depleted uranium landmines, scalar mind control, the WTO’s Codex Alimentarius, DUMBs (Deep Underground Military Bases), “Scalar Sacred Geometric Vortex Technologies”, “ET Doctrines of Devils”, a “planned American Hiroshima”, and the coming of the One World False Church. (5)

Dr. Deagle has written two books (Clay and Iron and Abortion to Armageddon), and says he is working on three more (DNA Landmines: Not-so-deplated Uranium with anti-DU activist Leuren Moret, Functional Medicine: The Genetic and Immunotoxic Basis of Health and Disease with Dr. Ari Vojdani, and The Mark is a Medical Procedure).

The Oklahoma City Bombing

In 1995 Dr. Deagle was working at Penrose St. Francis Hospital in Colorado Springs, as an Occupational Physician. His boss at Penrose St. Francis, Dr. George Swinder, was assigned to conduct all the exit examinations of the five members of a Fort Carson military expert forensic munitions team that had been dispatched to Oklahoma City immediately after the bombing, but Deagle filled in during his absence. One of the men (unnamed) appeared to be perfectly healthy aside from a rash on his limbs and chest, yet he wanted to be tested for sterility. Pressed to give a reason, he revealed to Dr. D that the destruction of the Alfred P. Murray building was caused by something seven times stronger than any ammonium nitrate (fertilizer) bomb. “We broke three radiation detectors there,” Rash Man said. He and his co-workers had been kept under Wackenhut armed guard while sifting through the debris, preventing them from removing anything from the site. The team recovered two undetonated micronukes and one C4 pineapple bomb from the wreckage. Somehow, Rash Man learned that ATF and FBI agents had planted micronuclear bombs on the building’s support pillars.
This man was later court-martialed.

After this incident, They tried to fire Deagle, behaving in a threatening manner. He warned Them to back off and compensate him with $35K, or he and his “friends” would “take [Them] out”. They backed off. He kept the Oklahoma City info under his hat for several years before exposing it on Alex Jones’s radio show. (2)

Columbine

Dr. Deagle claims that as a fire department physician, he was one of the fist emergency workers to arrive at Columbine High on the morning of April 19, 1999. But when he and two firemen tried to enter the school, a sheriff’s officer barred the door and warned that if they tried to enter he would shoot them. In other words, the authorities were participants in the massacre, keeping emergency workers at bay until Harris and Klebold had completed their assigned task. Later, three students informed Deagle that ATF agents had been firing on kids inside the school.

Dr. D. also happened to be the family physician of Donna Taylor, mother of Columbine shooting survivor Mike Taylor (featured in Bowling for Columbine). Taylor miraculously survived being shot at least 6 times, lying on the grass for an hour before assistance arrived. Though it isn’t known if Taylor was shot by Klebold, Harris, or both, it’s obvious that one of them did it.
Yet Mike’s mother, Donna Taylor, claims her son saw a third gunman standing on the roof of the school just before the shooting began (there was a maintenance man on the roof that morning, but there are no other reports that he was armed).
Ms. Taylor and her son made other startling claims about the incident, including:
– Roughly half of Columbine’s 2000 students didn’t show up for school that day.
– The local sheriff, who aided Mike an hour after he was shot, later revealed to the Taylors that he had been instructed by his superiors not to try to save any of the kids who lay wounded in the grass.
– The family of Isiah Shoel told Ms. Taylor they were afraid of the sheriff’s department. After a friend who was planning to make a film about the shooting was killed, they left town.
– The Columbine Connection, a counseling service for students and their families, was set up immediately after the murders. Ms. Taylor believes the children were pushed to take psychiatric meds by Columbine Connection staffers.

After Mark’s miraculous recovery, Dr. Deagle gave public talks about it from a Christian perspective, supporting Ms. Taylor’s contention that Dylan Harris’s prescription use of an anti-depressant drug caused him to act out violently. But at some point they had a falling-out. Ms. Taylor now despises Bill Deagle.
She told his mortal enemy, anti-Zionist 9/11 conspiracist Eric Hufschmid, that Dr. D. made frequent unannounced visits to her home after the shooting. He showed her microchips that could be implanted in people. When Taylor’s daughter babysat the Deagles’ children, she found approximately $200,000 in cash in the house. Taylor’s dentist would phone her at home 2-3 times per week to warn her to stay away from Deagle, saying only that he was “dangerous”. He could allegedly practice mind control, and Taylor fears her son was “chipped” by him. It’s unclear if Ms. Taylor believes what she says, or if her whole story is a hoax designed to prop up Hufschmid’s bizarre hatred of Dr. Deagle.

9/11

In March 2001 Deagle attended a private luncheon for FBI and CDC officials in Denver. There, he was told by an unnamed FBI official that there would be an attack on New York City within two years. Martial law and microchip identification would be instituted immediately afterwards. So Deagle wasn’t at all surprised on September 11.

Deagle’s theory of the World Trade Center collapse is diametrically opposed to that of retired BYU professor Steven Jones (they had a private debate after the Vancouver conference): The buildings were brought down by a mini-nuke, just like the Alfred P. Murrah building in Oklahoma City. But when I say “theory” I mean “borderline dogmatic belief.” Deagle told us the only device that could have concievably brought down the WTC in such a manner is a mini-nuke. “There is no other conclusion. It’s not something that’s open to discussion.” The WTC had to have been brought down by a combination of micronukes, DU-tipped missiles, and thermate. As evidence, he points out that cars in the area were melted on one side but not the other.

Deagle claims the President and most Congresspeople don’t know the stuff he knows. He has a photographic memory and lots of connections.

If you’re already thinking this fellow is either a pathological liar or several croutons short of a salad, it gets much worse. The more I find out about Dr. Deagle, the more astonished I am that he can actually function in society. Clearly, there is no ceiling for the high strangeness that he continually pulls out of his ass. It just gets crazier and crazier.

On December 7, 2006 Deagle gave an epic 4-hour speech to the Granada Forum, “Conspiracy Realities of 9/11 to Avian Flu and Beyond”. The Granada Forum is an alternative media forum that provides the public with health/conspiracy information; past speakers include David Icke and Jordan Maxwell. The woman who introduced Dr. Deagle said his talk would allow the audience to “see what I know”. She described him as founder of Nutrimedical, a teacher of medicine, a student, and a procter at the University of Colorado School of Medicine.

Deagle recapped his OK City experience, then announced “I have been in underground cities” before launching into what is probably the most absurd, fantastical lecture I have ever heard. Here are some of the highlights of his talk, mixed with a few gems from his interview on the cable-access show The Freeman Perspective:

Dr. Deagle on History and Religion

“All kings and rulers are subject to the Jesuit general, the Black Pope. Zionism is just an apostate arm of the Babylonian Talmudic Satanism subject to the Vatican. Spiritual dark lords of blood and sexual sacrifice are identical with the I.F.E.s…Identified Fiendish Entities. They exist in the astral planes and in the physical.”

The I.F.E.s have manipulated and interbred to such a great extent with specific human families that some humans (like Hilary) are merely “human flesh husks…surrounding a bioplasmatic astral entity.”

Turning his back on the fundie roots that got him where he is today, Deagle now says that Christ was not divine. The myth of Christ was invented by the Luciferian Catholic Church.

The U.S. is still under the control of the powers behind the British throne, and those powers are controlled by the Jesuits. The Crown is “owned” by BAR, the British Authorized Registry. He’s referring to the legal bar. All legal entities are controlled by the Brit crown, or the Jesuits. Um. Okay. Read Vatican Assassins for more info; all the author’s documentation is correct, Deagle assures us.

Tesla didn’t invent anything. His father, a monk, had access to the Vatican library and found documents about ancient technology, including scalar technologies and sacred geometry. The “masters of chaos” have been sitting on this info for generations.
The Siberian explosion was caused by Tesla’s death ray.

The Nazis channeled plans for spacecraft from aliens.

An imprisoned former Nazi, Dr. [Eduard] Vermeer, created the “food rules” in the ’60s. They were adopted by the WTO in the ’90s. This is partly true, but I can find no evidence that Dr. Vermeer was a Nazi.

The term “Shock and Awe” comes from the name of an ancient Babylonian goddess. “She’s a hyperdimensional entity that’s real, not imaginary.” Need I add that there is no Babylonian goddess – or any Mesopotamian goddess – with a name even remotely resembling “Shock and Awe”? He might have this “hyperdimensional entity” of his confused with Shakkan, patron god of shepherds, or with “shekhinah”. That’s a Hebrew word for the resting place of God within the Holy of Holies.

Deagle says They are humans; we are man. They sacrifice to the reptilian “gods” on the astral plane. Astral serpentine entities are summoned to manifest themselves, and this is how every ultradimensional culture throughout history created the inferior beings known as man.

“I know information that’s well beyond that of the Buddhists.”

Dr. D. on The Freeman Perspective (an Austin cable-access show about occult conspiracies):

Host: “I find that I live on an entirely different planet from most of the humans around me…Is it possible [the military] is using some sort of occult ritual?”

D: “Part of Their religion is that they have to tell you what They’re going to do to you, shrouded in symbolism (sacred architecture, numerology, etc.)…There are only two perspectives in the universe: “Christian messianic believer”, and everything else (Luciferianism).”

The host made the bizarre statement that They aren’t even on the same calendar system as us. Theirs is derived from the Freemasonic Anno Lucis calendar, and for them this is year 6007. They practice high occult rituals and sacrifice millions of humans, “if not more”.

Information on Dr. Deagle’s (failed) prophecy for October 7, 2008 is here.)

Dr. Deagle on The Future

The sheeple are gonna learn the hard way this is not a joke…What I’m going to show you tonight is a vast panaroma of dark, majestic, evil majesty.”

“I’m not afraid to die tonight, ’cause if we don’t fight this, we’re all dead. I’m talking about the death of our planet…We have roughly a year to turn this thing around.”

Later he says that in ten years, humans will only be produced in labs. Those with genetic abnormalities will be killed, and we will all be programmed to die “like lightbulbs”.

The Avian flu is “the brainiac virus”, the most intelligent and deadly bioweapon ever released. It is “Ebola on ‘roids”. A global pandemic of it could kill 2 billion people. Americans will be chipped and placed in quarantine detainment facilities, ostensibly to prevent its spread. Vaccines will be useless against it. To prevent this pandemic, we must have hepafilters in all international aircraft, and we must stop spraying chemtrails containing nano-organisms (silicon-based lifeforms that do no originate on Earth).

“I can’t tell you when it will happen, but it’s coming. It will make all the plagues of history look like nothing.”

“2007 and 2008 will be dangerous years.“

As if that’s not bad enough, on April 1, 2005 Bush signed an Executive Order requiring all people to receive a shot that could “kill you or give you cancer”.

National ID cards and/or microchips will be in place by 2008, along with laser retinal scans (like in Minority Report), biometric identification, and lightning-fast DNA analysis. Even so, any traveler not carrying paper ID will be detained and quarantined.

The Amero will be in use. Coins below $1 will be removed from circulation. “The dollar will be the new penny.” He actually takes delight in telling people this; he snorts with laughter and grins.

By May 2008 all financial transactions will be tracked with the National Drivers ID. It is already illegal to barter, under the Patriot Act. RFID chips will be inserted into everything – every individual pill, water bottle, etc. – so that every move you make and every item you consume can be tracked 24/7.

Currency/ID violators could be confined to prisons built by Bechtel and Halliburton, and/or summarily executed.

“National health care will be a nightmare”, because it will be an “electronic choker chain on doctors”. If they don’t do what the “Nazi Dr. Mengele controllers” tell them to do, their licenses will be yanked. Doctors will be forced to implant microchips into their patients and administer “psychotronic vaccines that will rewire your brain”, vaccines that will “insert DNA to alter your genetics”, vaccines that will “brain-tenderize” you so thoughts can be implanted directly into your brain with ELF waves and control your very physiology using scalar technology, and vaccines that cause cancer. All these things have already been developed. “Just like the big pharma drugs…that are slowly killing our elderly population and turning them into demented fools.”

Israel wants to attack Iran with nuclear devices, triggering WWIII; only the 102nd Airborne is preventing this, by guarding the Dimona reactor site. Israel gave a secret ultimatum that if the U.S. didn’t attack Iran within five months (of Deagle’s talk), Israel would. “We are one second to midnight.” If Israel does attack Iran, Russia will send its most advanced anti-aircraft system to Syria and Iran and the other Arab nations; missiles from central Saudi Arabia can strike as far as London every 30 seconds. U.S. HAARP-based antiaircraft technology will be of no use, because it will cause every aircraft without a special chip and special tubes to drop out of the sky.

They are designing lethal pesticides (research begun by “crazy maniacs” in Israel 30 years ago), and will irradiate food to kill more people. Apparently this info comes from Major-General Bert Stubblebine III, a frequent guest on Deagle’s online radio show, The Nutrimedical Report.

There will soon be nanotech foods (there are already nanotech dyes and fats, which can cross the blood-brain barrier) that will “fry anything that’s in their pathway”, causing Alzheimer’s and other brain diseases.

Chronic Wasting Disease is another nanotech disease. This disease was designed to make all meat inedible, so that we can’t hunt when the shit comes down. They want to control the food supply totally. One source told him that within about fourteen years all food will be grown hydroponically or grown from cell cultures in huge buildings; meat will be simulated; animals and plants will no longer exist in the wild.

The Georgia Guidestones tell us They want to reduce the population to 500 million, and the stones were erected by Them. This theory (also promoted by Alex Jones and Kent Hovind, among many others) ties in to Deagle’s idea that Their strange code of ethics require that They tell us what They’re going to do us – in code.

Deagle has seen the secret operational manual of FEMA, which says that if a radiological or biowarfare attack occurs a perimeter will be established around the U.S., and anyone who tries to escape it will be shot. Everyone will be quarantined together so there will be maximum cross-contamination. He confronted the head of FEMA about this.

In a Code Red Emergency, FEMA will shut down the grid and all highways. More than half the population will be dead within 30 days.

The real goal of chemtrail-spraying is to convert the atmosphere into plasma for weather modification, scalar mind control technology, geotechtonic warfare, and other nefarious uses.

Nokia has figured out a way to beam a bio-coded signal directly to your DNA through its phones, to affect your physiology and insert thoughts into your mind.

Nokia and Bell Technologies are staffed by NSA agents and have above-top-secret classifications for research. Cell phone companies are part of the “dark majestic evil majesty”, in other words.

The Mex-Am-Can superhighway plans call for seizure of private property. All freeways will be toll, and they will all be linked. Walls and barriers will be erected to keep people out of non-controlled areas and these areas will be stocked with wolves, dinosaurs, and other dangerous animals. “If you think they can’t [engineer dinosaurs], you’re living in a dreamworld.”

This is a global problem, but it goes beyond that because we are in a galactic war.

You see, we’ve had a base on the Moon and a colony on Mars since 1982. They are reached by a fleet of Aurora spacecraft, which are actually outdated Model-Ts of interplanetary travel, soon to be replaced by craft that travel above the speed of light. He learned this from an anonymous Canadian source.

1500 underground bases exist, and more are being built at an incredibly rapid pace, funded by the sale of illegal drugs.

Artificial fault lines will be opened up so that earthquakes can be triggered on command.

To prep for The End, Deagle recommends you purchase his First Line of Defense kit, containing:

– Supersilver: a nanosilver oxygen wrap that kills “all known pathogeths”

– guns, slingshots, bow and arrows, air compressor cannons and MACE

– freeze-dried foods and heritage seeds

– vitamins, herbal and regular medicines, med kit, radiation detector

When it comes to apocalypse preparedness, neighborhood watch groups are preferable to militias. “Your worst enemy is your unprepared neighbor. You need to distribute these DVDs to your neighbors. Your neighbors may spit in your face now, but when things start to happen they’ll be begging you to tell them more. Remember, you’re what I call mustard seed carpenters. You have a carpenter’s wedge, a bag of mustard seeds, and a hammer: And in the little cracks of their stupid skull you’re gonna drive in these mustard seeds of common sense and when the water of disaster comes upon their heads the seeds are gonna grow whether they want them to or not and the roots are gonna start splitting their very, very thick skulls.”

Dr. Deagle encourages sugar daddies to step forward and help fund Republic Broadcast Network (RBN) broadcasting on the Sirius Network “before free speech is shut down completely”, because rich and poor alike will end up in the NWO detention facilities if this spiritual and physical war isn’t won.

“We need to weed out the real patriots, ’cause there’s a lot of gatekeepers, a lot of people who I call are immature [sic], there’s a lot of people [sic] who don’t connect the dots and want to balkanize and they need to shut up.”

The information he most commonly receives from his NSA and other contacts is that nukes have been pre-placed in 22 U.S. cities by Project Omega. They are serviced and replaced regularly. Deagle knows the cities; L.A. is one of them. “2007 I think is gonna be the year when one or more of our cities is gonna light up, ’cause they wanna cow us with either a nuke or a pandemic in a U.S. city, to bring about martial law and place people in civil detention facilities. A double perimeter will be placed around all major U.S. cities, protected by an “international force” with orders to shoot to kill, so fleeing will be impossible. You could also be brought down by remotely operated vehicles, manned by unwitting 12-year-olds playing World of Warcraft-style games that have been synchronized with real-world, real-time events.

Oh, and in a facility near Galveston, Texas, the U.S. has developed Remote-Controlled Modified Attack Baboons (to defeat the Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys, I guess). With nano-armor! Who says the U.S. isn’t the coolest nation on Earth?!

“What to do to prepare? Listen to the show! I publish classified information on my show.” Yes, he somehow publishes classified information on a radio show. Perhaps one of the many reasons Pindar wants him to rule the world.

Dr. Deagle on Secret Technology

One weapon used experimentally in Gulf War I was a C-3 plasma gun that shoots a bottle of high-energized plasma electrons at a target at the speed of light, vaporizing the target at 11 million degrees F. Focused microwave energies also tested in Iraq can cook the body, causing a 270-lb man shrink to the size of an infant in about 30 seconds. Also, the U.S. has microwave bombs that cause internal organs to burst. These have been used on civilians.

Russia and the U.S. have had scalar bombs since the ’70s, which can eliminate specific organisms.

“They have an entire city on the moon, which of course they always block out, where they’re mining Helium 3 which is used for nuclear fusion for interstellar travel and for advanced energy technologies…” How is this kept secret? Well, even the largest telescopes in the Southern Hemisphere are totally under the control of the Vatican.

Colorado has more quantum computing facilities than the rest of the world put together “by a very large order of magnitude”, located mostly in underground cities. Deagle visited one underground city, Shrever AFB, which held a quantum array of Cray-5 computers, an array of ultraviolet fibre optic cables, Star Wars weaponry, and scalar weaponry. “You may have heard that these Terra-flop computers are the most powerful in the world, and they’re liars.” Deagle notes that the designer of the Cray computers, Seymore Cray, died in a mysterious freeway “accident” 11 months after their development.

The secret facility under Denver International Airport is 100 square miles in size. (This facility – which no one has actually seen – made my list of the World’s Weirdest/Stupidest Conspiracy Theories)

For over 26 years They have possessed a database containing the phone dialtones and personal information of every citizen of every Westernized nation. This is in preparation for the implantation of microchip IDs.

Blood samples from every human on earth are being stored in an underground facility at Pine Gap, Australia.

OnStar tracking/navigation systems contain more power than the Apollo space missions, and with them Theycan control brakes and front tires so that your car can be remote-controlled right off a cliff.

His contacts in the NSA told him they are under the command of the Jesuits via Project Omega. Project Omega is “the final implementation of the project conceived by the Nazis, a superagency that oversees all intel agencies on the planet.” It is headquartered in underground facilities beneath Colorado, built under Bush I. Omega oversees all underground as well as all offworld facilities and fleets.

“The level of evil is beyond imagination“.

Dr. Deagle on Science and Health

Deagle spends up to 22 hours a day going over info for his radio show, stuff that his colleagues (“quivering, white-coated jellyfish”) stubbornly refurse to corrorborate.

Force-5 hurricanes are caused by Planet X (“Nibiru”), a dwarf star.

Ice ages are caused by increased rainfall.

They can heal and stop all diseases. They just don’t want you to know.

Viruses change only by recombination, never by mutation as “the monster Dr. Fauci, who is behind the HIV spread” would have us believe. Dr. Gerberding, head of the CDC, is also behind “the resurrection and promulgation” of HIV/AIDS. The money trail leads to the Rothschilds and the Jesuits.

In March 1997 Deagle spoke against fetal tissue transplantation in cyborg research in front of the international board of Human Life International in Zurich, and these doctors and scientists provided him with “eight inches” of documentation about Avian flu, AIDS, and vaccines designed to cause sterility in sub-Saharan Africa to eliminate thousands of people. AIDS was created under the control of WHO, according to these docs.

The avian flu was created by the CDC with a bioengine, using gene fragments from deceased miners in Alaska. Essentially, it was created out of thin air. “We know the names of the scientists involved”.

The 1918 flu was the first bioweapon, a human-pig hybrid created under the directorship of Vice President Roosevelt. It was deliberately injected into soldiers at Fort Lupton, Kansas (since Fort Lupton is in Colorado, I assume he meant to say Fort Riley).

Deagle also warns about the danger of vaccines.

When his dentist expressed the opinion that mercury in vaccines isn’t too harmful, Deagle went on the defensive. “That was the wrong thing to say today. ‘Cause I’m Deagle. And Deagle doesn’t take bullshit.

Vaccines contain many times the WHO-recommended amounts of mercury safe for young children. Deagle doesn’t mention that virtually every vaccine in North America has been mercury-free since 2001.

Prisoners and soldiers are injected with microplasma for experimental purposes; this was research started by the Nazis. Mark Zeller was on Deagle’s show to share information about supersoldiers, men pumped up with hormones and other chemicals. Mark grew 6 inches and gained 100 lbs in six months during Gulf War I. His health is now ruined because he was also injected with experimental AIDS vaccine and microplasma.

Also, the military has been cloning supersoldiers since 1982.

Toxic barrium salts, more dangerous than lead, are in chemtrails. So is human plasma. He treated some of the pilots who sprayed chemtrails, so “if anyone tells you it’s not real, they’re full of it. I’m a whistle-blower. I’m on the inside. It’s not open for discussion.” 95% of his NSA buddies told him they were spraying chemtrails to stop global warming. “So most of them are dumb enough to accept that garbage.” Nice way to talk about your buddies.

According to two doctors who were scheduled to appear on Deagle’s show, Morgellons Disease is probably caused by silicon-machine lifeforms that didn’t originate on Earth. This lifeform is intelligent, like bees or ants, and it fights back.

Xenoestrogens are feminizing men and fish, rewiring brains.

“If you’re drinking flouride, bye bye brain.”

Flouride destroys the pineal gland, the “upper chakra” where the silver chord is connected to our bioplasmic spirit bodies. They are working on ways to calcify the silver chord, to zombify us by separating the physical body from the spirit body. He points out he’s not a Buddhist, but knows things “well beyond the Buddhists”.

Royal Raymond Rife was exactly right, but the machine needs to be at the right frequency or it does nothing, or causes adverse effects. (Rife created a “beam ray” device, which was claimed to destroy pathogens by inducing resonances in their constituent chemicals.)

Dr. Ari Vugidoni of Amino Sciences in Beverly Hills, a friend of Deagle, is being harrassed by the California Department of Regulation for diagnosing buildings as sick with toxic mold. He is probably “the most brilliant immunologist in modern history.”

Deagle talks about the efficacy of chelation, supersilver (cures cerebral malaria and anything else), and structured “miracle” water . Deagle is developing, with Acu/Tron, “the next generation of the Rife”, which will emit spectral signals to kill all known diseases.

Dr. Deagle on the Unexplained

Just about everything of a supernatural/paranormal nature, from UFOs to ancient gods, can be explained by “hyperspace archetypes” (pronounces it “arkea-types”). What you’re actually seeing when you see a crop circle, for instance, is a transmission of higher dimensional intention that has been translated into an intelligent shape, burned into the ground. Whenever you see images of things that look otherworldly, it’s because they’re from other worlds.

We are transitioning into a proton energy field, a rent in hyperdimensional gate where interdimensional entities can enter.

The ancients knew how to create scalar archetypes that could create certain biological effects, similar to Emoto’s work with water and the special wands from Global Light Network that can actually change the structure of water to help ease specific conditions. (This is the Quantum Age Gardener’s Wand. You can purchase one here; it’s amusing that the product description actually reads “Stirwand descriptions and use suggestions are subjective and are not intended to represent scientific fact”.)

Whales live in hyperdimensional space. So do humans, but we’re not aware of it. Deagle is aware of it because he died when he was 8 and hasn’t been able to “turn it off”. Kinda like Carnival of Souls and The Dead Zone, I guess.

More Pearls of Wisdom from Dr. Deagle:

Most people operate at levels of consciousness “slighter higher than cockroaches or bacteria.”

You have to realize I’m your best buddy. I don’t care how rich or smart you are, I know what the hell’s going on. I’m trying to save your ass and the ass of your grandchildren for a thousand generations.” If we don’t listen to him now, we’ll meet the same fate as the people of Atlantis and Lemuria.

Other insiders “don’t connect all the dots, and if you don’t connect all the dots it’s like putting together a puzzle and oh my gosh the other part of the puzzle has fallen off, but it fell in the fire and now it’s on fire. So you have to connect all the dots.

“I’m a sheep with big muscles, sharp fangs, and long claws.” Apparently, he’s also a sheep who’s never actually seen a sheep…

“Whenever you hear the term ‘conspiracy theory’ in the future, I want you to think not ‘theory’ but ‘conspiracy reality‘”.

“If They kill me tonight or some other day, there’s gonna be a lot of dead Them before They think that They’re gonna win.”

“You as a spirit understand and know things that you can not always explain in physical words, but you know that things aren’t right, just like an animal before a tsunami or an earthquake knows something’s real damn wrong, and how come Deagle knows all this stuff?”

Throughout his incarnations as a prophet, a government insider, a 9/11 theorist, and a health guru, Dr. Deagle’s signature has remained consistent: Absolutely ludicrous, unverifiable claims collected from the outer fringes of pseudoscience and conspiracy research. He stirs these into a dense verbal soup, throws in a slide show, and mixes up some metaphors to create butt-numbingly long lectures that will bewilder and/or dazzle his target audiences, then delivers them with just enough chutzpah and flattery to be credible to a certain segment of the population.

Who attends Deagle’s lectures? Well, one woman at the Granada Forum rose during the Q & A session to ask him, “If someone wanted to kill themselves quickly, what could they use?”

For more of Dr. Deagle’s wisdom, see his websites http://www.nutrimedical.com/ and http://www.clayandiron.com/.


Sources:

1. http://www.nutrimedical.com/
2. Deagle’s Dec. 7/2006 Granada Forum lecture (available on Google Video)
3.The Prophet in Clayton Park“by Stephen Kimber, The Coast online, September 2007
4. www.sherryshriner.com/deagle.htm
5. http://www.clayandiron.com/

(un)Reliable Information

This week alone, friends and acquaintances have parlayed the following “information” to me…

Skull & Bones (a frat-like society at Yale) is centered around pedophilia and drugs. Why pedophiles? Well, some Republicans are pedophiles, therefore they probably picked it up at Yale. Why drugs? Well, W. was a crack addict, therefore he probably picked up his habit at Yale.

My husband is a good organizer not because he’s thoughtful, dedicated, and disciplined, but because he’s a Scorpio.

I should stock up on aspirin and water, ’cause the sh** is gonna come down soon and all of Canada will be under U.S. martial law.

The Gluco Watch was pulled from shelves not because it was unreliable, caused funky skin rashes, and was based on technology that doesn’t seem to actually exist, but because it’s being suppressed by the pharmaceutical companies that want to keep selling test strips to diabetics.