- Paula Oliviera, a 26-year-old Brazilian lawyer, claimed earlier this month that while visiting Switzerland she was assaulted by a group of neo-Nazi punks. The three skinheads grabbed her as she stood outside a train station in Zurich, speaking Portuguese over her cell phone. They made some racial slurs, then carved the initials of Switzerland’s wildly popular anti-immigration political party, the Swiss People’s Party (SVP), onto her pregnant stomach. Due to the stress of the attack, Oliveira said, she miscarried twins. It didn’t doctors long to figure out that Oliveira wasn’t pregnant in the first place, and that the cuts on her abdomen weren’t characteristic of a knife attack. This allegedly fake racial assault is only the latest in a long, sad series of self-inflicted “hate crimes” that usually involve a seemingly normal young woman carving or writing racial slurs on her own flesh, then blaming it on men of another ethnicity or race. As with the case of Ashley Todd (“mugged” and cut by a fictitious Obama supporter late last year), the attacks are often so poorly thought-out and staged that investigators get to the bottom of them within hours. I’ll be devoting a post to this phenomenon later in the week.
- Some 9/11 Truthers suspect the horrific plane crash in Buffalo was more than an accident. Why? Because there were no fewer than two activists on the flight; 9/11 widow Beverly Eckert (who was preparing to sue the U.S. government) and Alison Des Forges of Human Rights Watch (who testified before the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda). Michelle Pogue of Montreal 9/11 Truth (incidentally, one of the most rabidly anti-Zionist Truth groups in the world) suspects Des Forges was killed to cover up the fact that the Rwandan genocide was a “U.S. and French proxy war.” Pogue even accuses Ms. Des Forges of being part of the cover-up! Thankfully, not all Truthers are quite this duuuuuuhhhhh: A friend who belongs to Pilots for 9/11 Truth suspects the crash was the result of a tail stall brought on by tailplane icing (explained in a 1998 instructional video). This is a deadly situation that not all pilots are well-trained to handle, thanks to lax FAA and corporate policies.
- And speaking of Truther bitchmonsters, a particularly nasty one who shall still remain nameless offered last week to contribute a travel package door prize to a Truth convention the significant other is organizing. When he declined, explaining that this event isn’t a freaking corporate Christmas party, she predictably became defensive and snippy. My alarm bells went off when she started to refer to the travel package in Quixway-like terms (“many satisfied customers would tell you how happy this made them!”). Sure enough, a quick search revealed that Ultra Life travel packages, while apparently legit, are part of a pyramidish MLM setup called Business in Motion. BIM “salespeople” don’t make most of their money from travel packages, they make it from signing up new “salespeople” at $3500 a pop. It has left many a disgruntled would-be travel agent in its wake, as this CBC Marketplace report shows. Why doesn’t it surprise me that an Alex Jones fan and fluoride-phobe would fall for this kind of thing?
- Some Truthers and anti-Zionists have been griping all week that “Israel wants northern Iraq.” Aside from a handful of reports in dodgy Arab newspapers, I can’t find a single piece of corroboration for this. Kindly let me know if you spot any. There was a piece in Haaretz about the possibility of oil being pumped from northern Iraq to Haifa, but this doesn’t quite equate to “Israel wants northern Iraq.”
- The other day I saw a bizarre infomercial advertising “Your Baby Can Read!”, a flashcard and DVD system that can supposedly teach kids as young as 3 months old to recognize two- and three-syllable words. Sounds like total b.s., just like the infant Mozart Effect. But even if it’s not, as Shelley Boettcher of the Calgary Herald asks, why would a baby need to read? Isn’t there enough time for that later on, when they’ve mastered potty training and walking?
Swallowing The Camel 
Why would they need to be able to read? That’s simple. If they can’t read then they won’t know about the New World Order. Knowing about the illuminati and their plans to stick people in camps is more important than learning to potty or walk.
Why does it appear that people either believe in no conspiracy theories or many conspiracy theories? There seems to be a lot of black and white, but not much gray.
I’ve seen the YOUR BABY CAN READ stuff, and they actually use all caps like that, even for the tv schedule listings. It’s hard to take anything seriously that uses all caps.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH ALL CAPS?! DOESN’T IT MAKE ME LOOK EARNEST AND PROFESSIONAL?!Seriously, though, YOUR BABY CAN READ might backlash on conspiranoids, ’cause their 1-year-olds might start reading things that are scientifically and politically sound when they’re not looking. Then they’ll put themselves up for adoption on eBay.