The Prodigal Witch Part III: John Todd (Part II)

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John Todd as a character in the Jack Chick comic Spellbound?

continued from Part I

The Big Time

In August 1973, Todd married Sharon Garver. He was preaching and performing faith healings on the road, having been fired from the Christian coffeehouse for allegedly hitting on teenage girls.
This was the year that Todd first snagged the attention of Christians outside Arizona by giving his dramatic testimony on a Christian TV program. He announced he had been the “personal warlock” of the Kennedy clan, that JFK had faked his death, and that he had just returned from visiting JFK on his yacht. He revealed that many fundamentalist churches had been infiltrated by Satanists. For instance, Jerry Falwell had been “bought” with a check for $50 million. He described watching George McGovern stab a young girl to death in a Satanic ritual sacrifice. He claimed his wife had been seduced into witchcraft as a teen, and he rescued her.

Pastor Doug Clark heard Todd’s story and invited him to appear on his Amazing Prophecies TV show. Todd became an overnight sensation among charismatics in southern California. He and Sharon promptly vacated Arizona for Santa Ana, Doug Clark’s headquarters. They hosted weekly Bible studies in their home, and Todd appeared at several of Clark’s Amazing Prophecy rallies.
Clark and leaders at Melodyland Christian Center soon heard reports that Todd was hitting on teenage girls who attended these Bible study sessions. Todd angrily denied the allegations, and thereafter named Melodyland as part of the Illuminati conspiracy.
Clark decided John Todd wasn’t such a credit to his ministry, after all, and denounced him on his TV show.

His ties to Doug Clark severed, Todd moved to his wife’s hometown of San Antonio and promptly impregnated her teen sister. In ’74, the couple split. Todd north went to Dayton, Ohio, and found a third wife, Sheila Spoonmore. He decided to become a witch for real – whether he had ever been one before is debatable – and with his wife opened an occult bookstore called The Witches Caldron [sic]. The couple gave courses on witchcraft. Once again, there were complaints from teen girls.

Todd Meets the Crusaders

Todd’s drivel intrigued Jack Chick, the guy who produces all those wacky rectangular pamphlets you see in Christians’ bathrooms. Chick immediately realized that Todd would make a nice shiny new cog for his misinformation machine, and enlisted him to provide “inside information” for several anti-occult tracts.
Todd collaborated with Chick at the very same time that he was running an occult bookstore and persuading teen “witches” to disrobe for “ceremonies”.

The first Chick booklet based on Todd’s information was The Broken Cross (1974). Todd is described in the intro as an “ex-grand Druid priest”.

In the comic, a 14-year-old hippie girl leaves home to escape her Christian parents. Hitchhiking, she is picked up by a young couple in a van. She rejoices in her newfound freedom, not realizing that two Satanists are hiding in the back of the van, ready to drug her unconscious. She is taken to a Satanic ceremony and ritually sacrificed on an altar. We’re told that such murders occur eight times per year in every Satanic coven.
Chick’s equivalent of comic book superheroes, The Crusaders, show up to investigate. They uncover the cult, which turns out to include nearly every prominent citizen of the town, even the local pastor and an elderly librarian. The Satanists practice cannibalism, kill dogs, and spy on non-Satanists. One of their symbols is the peace symbol – a broken, upside-down cross.
Chick states that Wicca, a form of devil worship involving child sacrifice, began during the Roman Empire. Wicca was later absorbed by the Illuminati, also known as Moriah. This organization bankrolled the production of Godspell and Jesus Christ Superstar to undermine Christ.

A witch named Jody cheerfully informs the Crusaders that Lucifer is the power behind both white and black witchcraft. “Satan is one neat dude…I really crave the power!” The Crusaders easily convert Jody, and she is abducted by the Satanists for betraying them. Jim saves her seconds before she is sacrificed. Confronted by a Christian, the Satanists begin vomiting uncontrollably.
Like all the Crusader comics, The Broken Cross is an insane mishmash of cut-and-paste moralizing, scripture, and occult misinfo. It also borders on the homoerotic; Jim and Tim are exceptionally buff and like to take off their shirts for no apparent reason. Methinks the man doth protest too much.

The Broken Cross was followed by Spellbound?, a screed against rock music. According to Todd and Chick, all rock has “ancient Druid origins”.
In this comic, Jim the Crusader’s VW is nearly forced off the road by a rock musician named Bobby Dallas. Dallas is injured in the resultant crash, and Jim saves his life. Grateful, Dallas later invites Jim to a party full of his creepy friends. We’re told that the ankh necklace worn by one partier is a symbol of Satan worship, signifying that the wearer has lost his virginity and participates in orgies (a note at the bottom of the page adds that it won’t be necessary to burn the book, as witches only use 3-D charms for casting spells).
A member of the cult from The Broken Cross sees Jim trying to convert Dallas. The cult immediately murders Dallas to prevent him from “blowing their cover”.
John Todd himself makes an appearance, meeting with Jim and Tim to educate them about the occult. They’re told his family practiced Druidism for seven centuries.
Todd explains that Druids sacrificed men to their god Kernos with “elfin fire”, accompanied by the music of flutes, tambourines, and drums made of human skin. Each Halloween, they would go door to door demanding a human sacrifice (usually a young woman). If the sacrifice pleased them, they left a jack-o’-lantern lit by a candle made with human fat to protect the house’s residents from demons. Such ritual murders still take place in the U.S. every Halloween, Todd tells us. And the hypnotic beat of Druid drummers is the same beat used in rock music. The melodies are lifted from “Druid manuscripts”. For instance, the Beatles used this Pagan rhythm to draw America’s youth into Eastern religions, opening the “flood gates to witchcraft.”

All of this is pure bunk. There was no “Kernos” in Druidism. Trick-or-treating did not originate with the Druids. Druids didn’t have any written literature, so rock music can’t be based on ancient Druid manuscripts. They did not make their drums with human flesh. The magical “elfin fire” is make-believe. Eastern religions and Paganism are very different things.
If Todd’s teachings about the Druid origin of rock were actually correct, then Celtic music would be more of a threat to society than rock and roll!

Todd then delivers a talk to a church congregation, telling them he once had 65,000 witches under his command. Their goal was to “destroy Bible believing churches and make witchcraft our nation’s religion.” He warns that Christians cannot wield the full power of Christ if they possess tarot cards, regular playing cards, Dungeons and Dragons, “occult” jewelry, country music, romance novels, or rock music. Such things must be burned. He also warns against Freemasonry, saying no Christian has a right to belong to a secretive organization (this is bizarre, as Christianity itself has been an underground movement in various times and places). Not only is Masonry a part of the Illuminati, but Albert Pike (“the pope of Freemasonry”) admitted that Lucifer was his god. This, of course, is part of the ludicrous Taxil hoax that attempted to smear Masons in the late 19th century.
As a producer with Z Productions, Todd learned that all rock songs contain coded incantations. There follows a graphic representation of how demons are summoned into every master recording.
Todd also declares, “Every Bible believing pastor is on a death list by Satan’s crowd!”
A deacon’s daughter named Penny, hearing Todd, decides to join in the record burning ceremony he has planned for the church. The local media, under the direction of a Satanist named Isaac (presumably Todd’s nemesis, Isaac Bonewits, who we’ll see in the next section), portrays the bonfire as KKK-like activity.
Unbeknownst to Todd, the Satanists are following him, planning to assassinate him at the first opportunity. They shoot at him as he drives away from the church, but God presses Jim and Tim to follow him and capture the two Satanists. Then a cop – clearly in league with the Satanists – lets them go.

The Broken Cross and Spellbound? portray all Satanists, witches, and Pagans as murderous thugs who must be opposed by Christians. Chick also implied that most policemen, some media outlets, and many church leaders are part of the Satanic plot to destroy Christianity.

Chick continued to believe and defend Todd long after more reasonable Christians had washed their hands of him. He was later bamboozled by another “former Illuminati member” and “ex-witch”, Bill Schnoebelen, and by the Satanic ritual abuse allegations of a woman calling herself Rebecca Brown. We’ll see both of them later in this series.

First Arrest

In ’76, a 16-year-old girl told Dayton police what was going on in Todd’s little coven. She said Todd forced her to have oral sex during a nude initiation rite.
Todd asked for help from Gavin Frost, head of the National Church and School of Wicca, and prominent Druid Isaac Bonewits. He said he was being unjustly persecuted by Ohio authorities because he was a witch. After investigating, Frost and Bonewits concluded otherwise; they concurred with the cops that Todd was probably using his “church” as a cover for sexual misconduct.
He ultimately pled guilty to contributing to the unruliness of a minor and served two months of a six-month sentence in county jail before Chick and a lawyer secured an early medical release for him (he was having seizures). He received five years’ probation, which he immediately violated by returning to Arizona. The Pentacostal preacher Ken Long once again found a job for him, working as a cook.
Todd admitted to practicing witchcraft in Ohio, but was able to turn it to his advantage by declaring he and his wife had backslid and were now returning to the body of Christ. Satan had lost his minion again. Soon, Todd was back to preaching.

Don’t Think, Just Panic

Todd hit his peak of popularity in the late ’70s. By 1978 he and Sheila had three children.
They lived in Canoga Park, California and attended an independent Baptist church.
In January 1978 Tom Berry, pastor of the Bible Baptist Church in Elkton, Maryland, arranged for Todd to go on a speaking tour. His tales astonished and unnerved Eastern churchgoers. Tape cassettes of his talk were passed around in evangelical circles, and he even managed to snag mainstream media attention. Donations poured in for a rehab centre for ex-witches that he others planned to establish. Sound familiar? Warnke spoke of opening one just like it, but never got around to doing it. Neither did Todd, though in one talk (available as Tape 5B on this page) he declared that the centre was opening the following day. “The doors aren’t even open yet and it’s already filled,” he said. He estimated they would need to construct a second building within six months. “In fact the second-most powerful witch that has ever been saved was just saved last April … Her testimony is almost similar to almost everything I’ve given today.”
Todd did not name this second-greatest witch. We’re to assume he was the most powerful witch ever saved, I suppose.
This rehab facility, if it ever existed, didn’t seem to have a name, either.

Todd’s audiences were quite large. One appearance in Indiana drew 1000 listeners. This is troubling, because during this series of talks, Todd talked a lot about the endtimes and the need for Christians to create armed compounds that could withstand onslaughts from Communists, the military, and other enemies of the faith. He said the U.S. government would soon be compiling lists of church members so that Christians could be rounded up and executed when the shit came down. There would also be a government-instigated “Helter Skelter” of riots and violence. The Illuminati takeover of the U.S. would begin in just one year, so time was of the essence.
He warned Christians not to trust prominent Christians. Melodyland, the PTL, Jerry Falwell, The Full Gospel Business Men’s Fellowship. They were all part of the Satanic conspiracy.
These revelations were received with a mixture of horror and gratitude. There’s no indication that any of the Eastern churches actually took his advice and established fortresses, though.

One has to wonder if Todd harbored dreams of starting his own cult. He had some of the vital ingredients: Plans for an armed compound, a desire to isolate people from their trusted leaders, a knack for scaring the hell out of believers, and a seemingly unslakable lust for pubescent girls.

Back in California in April ’78, it all hit the fan. Todd’s pastor, Roland Rasmussen, learned from a church member that Todd had been teaching witchcraft in Ohio as recently as ’76. Todd was booted from the church.
But Tom Berry and numerous other Eastern pastors still supported him. He began a second speaking tour that summer.
This time, the reaction was not as positive. Clifford Wicks, pastor of Grace Brethren Church in Somerset, Pennsylvania, canceled Todd’s four-speech engagement after three speeches because he was disturbed by his parishioners’ response to the message. Several of them told Wicks they planned to murder their own children rather than see them taken prisoner by the Illuminati.

Not surprisingly, a few fringe religious groups were receptive to Todd’s teachings.
The Family (formerly known as the Children of God), an international church headed by David “Moses” Berg, degenerated into organized sexual abuse of children in the ’70s after Berg convinced some followers it was natural and healthy for kids to have sexual relations with their parents and caregivers. Years later his own son, Ricky Rodriguez (known as “Davidito“), would kill one of the nannies who molested him as a child.
Berg found Todd’s diatribes fascinating, and The Family International published a transcript of one of his lectures, “The Illuminati and Witchcraft”, for distribution to Family members.

Another group that appreciated Todd was a violent white supremacist organization called The Covenant, the Sword, and the Arm of the Lord (CSA). They also published “The Illuminati and Witchcraft”.
The CSA ran a compound in Missouri that was the very model of what Todd had been advocating. It boasted an armed perimeter, a training area for urban warfare drills, and an array of automatic weaponry (much of it stolen). In 1985, the group’s founder and several of its leaders were convicted of illegal firearm possession.
The group kept a list of possible targets for assassination, including elected officials. One member was executed for killing a State Trooper and a pawn shop owner.

Underground

In January 1979, Todd announced he was through with preaching. His message just wasn’t sinking in with American Christians, he said, and it was time for him to retreat to an undisclosed location where the Satanists couldn’t find him.
This move was probably calculated to avoid the kerfuffle that would have erupted around him when his predicted Illuminati takeover didn’t actually happen.
From their new home in Montana, the Todds cranked out alarmist newsletters about the endtimes preparations Christians must make; buy gold, stockpile food and ammo, go into hiding. Todd now claimed he was collecting donations for an armed survivalist compound. He said he would accept guns, cattle, dehydrated food, and anything else people could spare. This compound, just like the witch rehab centre, never materialized.
The couple subsequently lived in Seattle.

In early ’79, a few Christian publications, including Christianity Today, printed damning stories about Todd.
Ironically, the single critical book published about Todd, The Todd Phenomenon (1979) by Darryl E. Hicks and David A. Lewis, contained an intro by Mike Warnke (pot, meet kettle…).
These exposés demolished whatever vestige of credibility Todd still had among mainstream Christians, and he never again made a decent living from preaching. His following dwindled to small groups Christian Patriots, survivalists, and Millenarianists.

But he certainly didn’t stop banging the anti-occult drum. In 1980, he authored a comic book titled The Illuminati and Witchcraft. Jacob Sailor, the artist, also illustrated some of the Mo Letters for The Children of God.

The Road to Ruby Ridge

Todd’s next known location was Cedar Falls, Iowa. In 1983 he was invited to speak at a Holiday Inn there by a young couple who regularly listened to his audiotapes.
Since marrying in 1974, Randy and Vicki Weaver had become increasingly religious. By 1983 they were approaching religious mania. Both believed the world would end soon. First there would be a period of violent persecution, initiated by a Satanic government coalition of Jews and non-Christians. Sometimes they referred to the enemy as ZOG (Zionist Occupation Government).
Todd’s background may have impressed Randy Weaver; he, too, had been a Greet Beret.
The Weavers used cash only, because Todd said credit cards carried the Mark of the Beast. They stopped watching TV because Todd said all evangelists other than himself couldn’t be trusted. They believed the government wanted to round up and exterminate Christians because that’s what Todd said (strangely, though, Vicki remained a fan of Ayn Rand)
Vicki also received instructions from God while soaking in the tub every night, and she and Randy both had “visions” of a hilltop fortress.

As recounted in Jess Walter’s 1996 about the Weavers, Every Knee Shall Bow, neighbors were unsettled, but probably not surprised, to see John Todd pacing the living room of the Weavers’ comfortable ranch-style house in Cedar Falls, ranting about government conspiracies whilst gripping a handgun.

Not long after this, in the summer of ’84, the Weavers sold their home and headed west with a cache of supplies, firearms, and ammo. They didn’t have a destination in mind. God would lead them wherever they needed to be to wait out the Tribulation.

On September 6, they found a thickly wooded plot of land atop Ruby Ridge in the panhandle of northern Idaho.

Second Arrest

Sometime in the mid-’80s, Todd moved to Columbia, South Carolina. He worked construction, did carpentry, and taught karate to youngsters.

In May 1987, Todd was charged with raping a grad student at the University of South Carolina. I will not give the woman’s name here, to protect her privacy.
Later, molestation charges related to two of his karate students were added. He served the next 16 years of his life in prison.
In an audio recording made in 1991, Todd explained how he was framed by Strom Thurmond, who wanted to get his hands on his address books and his Christian material. Specifically, Thurmond and cohorts wanted to find the locations of safe houses used by a Christian underground that hid Christians accused of abusing their children. Also, Thurmond was furious that Todd had outed him as a Mason.
He hints that he was lured to South Carolina by Christians just so he could be framed. His lawyers were in on the plot, so Todd urged listeners to donate money to his defence fund.
After his conviction, an FBI agent and the head of Reagan’s Secret Service bodyguards visited him in prison and pressured him to give up the names of Christians in hiding (in exchange for what, I wonder? He had already been sentenced, so there wasn’t much the feds could offer him). Todd refused.

Todd warns all Christians that they, too, can be framed for crimes they didn’t commit. After all, They own the media and law enforcement. What’s more, U.S. concentration camps are standing at the ready to hold huge numbers of Christians.
Remember, this recording was made in ’91. In the 20 years since then, do you know a single Christian who has been interned in a U.S. concentration camp?

Now Todd says he was part of the CIA’s Pheonix Program during Vietnam, and his military records were sealed for that reason. As we saw in Part I, these records were freely available, and they clearly show that Todd did not serve in Vietnam.

Fritz Springmeier and the 13 Bloodlines

Christian preacher and Illuminati “expert” Fritz Springmeier, who was released from prison just last month (he served 7 years of a 9-year sentence for armed bank robbery), is Todd’s #2 fan (Jack Chick being #1). In his book Bloodlines of the Illuminati, he identified the Collins clan as one of the “13 bloodlines of the Illuminati” and included a jailhouse letter written by Todd.


The Collins family history, as chronicled by Springmeier, is replete with Satanic atrocities. The Collinses possess more occult power than any other Illuminati’s family, including the Rothschilds and Rockefellers. Springmeier cites the testimony of an unnamed ex-Illuminati member (like Todd, a Christian convert) who claimed a Collins woman was the “Grande Mother” of the Illuminati’s Grand Council of 13 back in the ’50s. This council possessed invaluable arcane knowledge, like the location of the Ark of the Covenant, and practiced a bizarre form of ritual sacrifice in which a child was killed for each new Illuminati initiate.
As these meetings supposedly occurred twice a year, with up to seven initiates per meeting, it’s remarkable that no one noticed the rashes of missing children.

Ironically, the details of this unsourced tale directly contradict John Todd’s testimony. For instance, this person stated that the Antichrist had not yet been born in 1955, while Todd said Jimmy Carter was the Antichrist. He also tells us the Todd family split off from the Collins clan before the Civil War, while Todd himself claimed he was born as Lance Collins.
Springmeier names one of the Grande Mother’s sons as Tom Collins, who later converted to Christianity and went on speaking tours to educate coreligionists about the Illuminati. He was shot to death in a grocery store parking lot as a warning to other whistleblowers. Once again, we must ask why the Illuminati was unable to assassinate John Todd, if another defector from the very same family was so easily eliminated.
I can find no trace of this Tom, but the Wikipedia entry for Tom Collins the drink is quite interesting. In 1874, “Tom Collins” was a running gag among pranksters. They convinced people that a mysterious man named Tom Collins was badmouthing them, and reported sightings of the gossipy stranger to credulous newspaper reporters.
At any rate, we have no reason to believe that Tom Collins and John were from the same family. Springmeier’s M.O. is to tick off lists of prominent people with the same last name, without bothering to ascertain if they are actually related to one another. Then he links them to the Illuminati by the most tenuous connections. For example, reporter Robert Collins is implicated simply because the Illuminati “control the press”. Springmeier provides no evidence that the Illuminati does, in fact, control the press. Likewise, he ties serial killer Ted Bundy to the Bundy/McBundy families, and tells us his sadistic sociopathic condition is quite typical of Illuminati members, even though Bundy’s name came from a working class stepfather.

Most bizarrely, Springmeier states that the Salem witch trials were “instigated by the Collins family to destroy Christians”. His evidence? Some Collinses became Putnams during the Civil War era. Somehow, this means that the Putnams of Massachusetts (central to the Salem witch hunt) were already related to the Collins clan nearly two centuries earlier. Huh?

Like Jack Chick and John Todd, Springmeier classed essentially all occultists and Freemasons as profoundly secretive, extremely dangerous people. They all worship the Devil, they all abduct and ritually sacrifice children, and they all commit every manner of crime against decent, God-fearing Americans such as Todd (the rapist) and Springmeier (the bank robber).

In an early edition of his book, Springmeier stated that Todd was released from prison in 1994. An Illuminati-owned helicopter picked him up at the prison, and he was never seen again – presumably murdered by Them. Springmeier later removed this erroneous information, but continued to assert that Todd was framed.
The belief that Todd was framed on the rape charges persists today among his fans. “James in Japan”, who maintains an extensive website about Todd and other Christian conspiranoids, actually believes that Todd was murdered by the Illuminati and replaced by a prisoner who looked and behaved just like him.

Release and Death

Todd was actually released from prison in 2004. He was then committed to the Behavioral Disorder Unit run by the South Carolina Department of Mental Health.
Under the name “Kris Kollyns”, he filed a lawsuit against numerous employees of this department, alleging he was being held in violation of his Constitutional rights. Before the lawsuit was resolved, he died in the BDU on November 10, 2007.
Sadly, his messed-up legacy of pathological falsehood lives on in audio recordings, Chick pamphlets, and the minds of many Christian conspiracy theorists.

As we’ll see later in this series, his claim of being born into a family of powerful devil worshipers would have a profound influence on other “former witches”.

The Prodigal Witch Part III: John Todd

Part I

The only positive thing I can say about the late John Todd is that he makes everyone else in this series look pretty good by comparison. At the height of his fame as a “former witch” he was also a sexual predator, a military imposter, and a practicing witch who used several aliases.

John Todd emerged on the Christian scene around 1968, at least four years before Mike Warnke (according to the Cornerstone article on Warnke, he accused Warnke of stealing some of his Illuminati material), but never gained the level of mainstream popularity that Warnke did. His tales of Satanic intrigue were just too dark and outlandish for the average Christian. Frankly, you would have to be either blissfully innocent or profoundly stupid to buy any of Todd’s b.s.
He was ultimately relegated to the far-right fringe, preaching to militia members and Christian Patriots about the endtimes and the need to establish armed strongholds. One of his last known locations before his arrest was Iowa, where he attached himself to a paranoid young couple named Randy and Vicki Weaver. He convinced the Weavers they needed to get away from populated areas and prepare for the end of the world. We all know how that turned out.

Even though his anti-occult invective wasn’t as appealing as Warnke’s, Todd still has his fans. Old audio recordings of his diatribes have popped up on YouTube, where he is vaunted as an Illuminati insider, framed by The Powers That Be. Henry Makow still promotes his story.

Who is John Todd?

No one really knows. His background is so occluded that even the year of his birth is in doubt. Possibly he was born in Ohio around 1950. He was taken into foster care as a youth. He suffered epileptic seizures throughout his life.
He was fairly good-looking and extremely tall (about 6’4″).
Given his peculiar fascination with daytime television and gay porn movies, I strongly suspect he was a failed actor.

Todd first surfaced on the fundamentalist Christian scene in Arizona in 1968, performing as a Pentacostal preacher. He was about 19 or 20 years old, married to a slightly older woman named Linda. Earlier that year he had been arrested in Columbus, Ohio for malicious destruction of property.
He told Pastor James Outlaw of the Jesus Name Church that he had recently been saved at a Pentacostal church service after practicing witchcraft in the Navy, and wanted to be re-baptized as a Jesus Only believer.
He then vanished for several years, resurfacing in 1973 as a born again warlock. He again said he had been saved at a Pentacostal church service, and identified himself as an independent Baptist, but preached mostly to charismatics. He was now married to a woman named Sharon Garver.
He went on the fundamentalist lecture circuit in Cali, educating churchgoers about the international Satanic conspiracy. His talks were a blend of pop conspiranoia, anti-occult fearmongering, and tell-all braggadocio.

Todd said his real name was Lance Collins, and he had been born into a powerful family of devil-worshiping witches with ties to the Illuminati. The Illuminati is the life’s blood of conspiracy culture today, but until the publication of Gary Allen’s None Dare Call It Conspiracy in 1972, it was largely forgotten. Allen and Todd helped nudge it back into prominence within conservative circles. It is extremely likely that Todd’s interest in the Illuminati was sparked by Allen’s book; we know that he was at least aware of it, because during one of his talks a woman in the audience mentioned it and he recited the title along with her.

The Collinses were direct descendants of Scottish Druids who posed as Puritans and imported witchcraft to America before helping to establish the Illuminati.
Todd’s mother was so ashamed of her witchy behaviour that she ended up in a mental hospital, hooked on barbituates. His foster mother, on the other hand, was the high priestess of all the witches in California, and his sister was made the high priestess of Ohio at the tender age of 13.
Todd was perhaps the first “former Satanist” to come from a Satanic family, but within a few years this would be the norm.
The hereditary Satanism he described bears little resemblance to Doreen Irvine’s “black witchcraft”, and no resemblance whatsoever to Mike Warnke’s “third level” Satanism. Presumably, as an Illuminati member, Todd was privy to knowledge that Warnke never imagined.

He was reared on a diet of “occult” teachings: ufology, spells, Tolkien, and C.S. Lewis.
Witch parents aren’t allowed to love or discipline their children; kids belong to the cult. At age 13 or 14, boys are sent to witch schools called Outer Courts to be trained as Satanic priests. Todd was initiated into the priesthood at 14. His sister became such a powerful high priestess that she could summon demons in the form of UFOs.
At age 18, while serving as a Green Beret, Todd became the high priest of his coven.

The Illuminati Todd describes is a configuration of pure evil represented (in part) by Freemasons, Mormons, international finance, Communists, and – paradoxically – the John Birch Society. He explained that very few Jews belong to the Illuminati, but the Rothschilds are at the top of the pyramid, totally controlling the illustrious Council of 13. All Illuminati members, whatever their supposed religious affiliation, are actually devil worshipers.
He claimed to know a great deal about the inner workings of Freemasonry, yet always called it “Masonary”. He also called the Trilateral Commission “the Trilateral Council”, and the Council on Foreign Relations “the Council of Foreign Affairs”.
Clearly, he was somewhat familiar with John Birch literature. But he never explained why the John Birch Society, as part of the Illuminati conspiracy, would expose all these real Illuminati fronts.

Let’s move on to the Satanism. Todd was, of course, a high-ranking Satanist within the Illuminati. He belonged to a Grand Druid Council headed by Raymond Buckland, the man hand-picked by Philippe Rothschild to head the Illuminati and a professor of anthropology at Columbia. Buckland revealed to Todd many things known only to high-level witches; lower-level witches were hand-fed disinformation and nonsense. He also received some witchcraft training from Ruth Carter Stapleton, sister of future president Jimmy Carter.
Buckland, as you may know, was indeed a very prominent witch. But he never taught at Columbia, and wasn’t an anthropologist. He was a flight attendant for British Airways. (For more information on Buckland, see my post “John Todd Addendum“.)

According to Todd, Satanists don’t congregate. This is quite a contrast to Doreen Irvine’s gatherings, which attracted up to 1000 black witches, and to Mike Warnke’s San Bernadino-area coven of 1500.
In Todd’s form of witchcraft, Satanists dealt directly with their high priests. They didn’t even know the other members of their covens.

The central scripture of Satanism is the Necronomicon, but copies are rare. The only copies known to Todd were kept in St. Petersburg, Glasgow, and the British Library.
In case you’re keeping track, that makes three different sacred texts in just three different “ex Satanist” accounts: The Book of Satan (Doreen Irvine), The Great Mother (Mike Warnke), and a book that doesn’t freaking exist (Todd). But hey, at least we’ve heard of the Necronomicon. Those other two books don’t seem to exist even in the realm of fiction.
All three cults were supposedly organized on a national level, and two encompassed the whole planet. So why aren’t all these Satanists using the same books?
And just for the record, Lovecraft stories never named St. Petersburg or Glasgow as locations of the Necronomicon. There were copies at the British Museum, Harvard, the Biblioteque Nationale, the University of Buenos Aires, and Miskatonic University.
Todd also referred to the book several times as the “Necromonicon“, just as he called Masonry “Masonary”.
Sheesh, he couldn’t even get his bullshit right.

Apocalypse Not

In ’69, Todd enlisted in the military. Illuminati witches are exempt from military service, but he wanted to set up some covens in other countries and this was a convenient cover. He served in Vietnam as a Green Beret before being transferred to Germany. One night, in Stuttgart, he got crazy drunk and high and (for reasons known only to him) engaged in a firefight with one of his former commanding officers. The man was killed. From military confinement, Todd phoned his foster mother in L.A. and asked her to cast a spell on the members of the jury at his imminent court martial, to make them believe he was innocent. (It would have been simpler to cast a spell on the commanding officer in charge of the court martial, but what do I know? I’m not a Satanic Illuminati witch.)
Instead, someone pulled major strings for Todd. A Senator, a Congressman, and two generals personally escorted him out of his cell. He received an honorable discharge, no questions asked. The Army even destroyed all Todd’s military records to help preserve the secrecy of the Illuminati.
In reality, Todd’s papers were not destroyed. And they tell a slightly different story: He served as a clerk in the Army from February 1969 to July 1970 without ever setting foot in Vietnam. He was stationed in Germany for less than a month and was discharged under a Section 8. You know, that thing Klinger was always trying to get by running around in drag? I wonder just how unstable a person would have to be to get a Section 8 during ‘Nam. I’m guessing “Charlie Sheen”.
Anyway, Todd had been making death threats and false suicide reports. A psychiatric evaluation conducted in ’69 found he suffered emotional instability, pseudologica phantastica, and possibly brain damage as well. He was also treated for a drug overdose at an Army facility in Maryland in 1969.

Devil Rock

Like evangelist/exorcist Bob Larson, Todd claimed to be a music industry insider. After ‘Nam, he was a manager at Zodiac Productions (variously described as “the largest music conglomerate in the world” and “the largest booking agency”), so he knew that every rock musician in America had to become a witch before he could get a recording contract, and that every master recording was taken to a Satanic temple to be possessed by a demon. Each major record label had its own temple.
In one of his anti-rock lectures, he recounts a conversation he had with David Crosby after his conversion:

Todd: “Do they still bring the master [recording] to the Temple…and conjure demons into the master? Is the purpose of rock music still to use witchcraft, cast spells…?”
Crosby: “Of course. You know that, Lance.”

The only moderately successful Zodiac Productions operating in the U.S. during the early ’70s was a film company that produced one film (a ’74 gay porno called The Portrait of Dorian Gay – NSFW) and several episodes of the ’60s variety show The Hollywood Palace. It did not have a music division.
To explain why no one recognized this mammoth media conglom, Todd said Zodiac was forced to change its name because of the negative publicity he brought to it. He did not divulge the new name.

World Domination and Stuff

In ’72, the Grand Druid Council received a diplomatic pouch from headquarters in London, containing an eight-year plan for world domination (culminating in December 1980). It involved economic breakdown, a military strike force comprised partly of prisoners, the execution of millions, and a Third World War that would spare only Jerusalem.
Around the same time, a letter from Satanic HQ announced the discovery of a man believed to be Lucifer’s son. He would serve as a false messiah to lead the masses astray. Todd later identified this Antichrist as fellow Baptist Jimmy Carter.

It was shortly after this that Todd was supposedly saved at a Pentacostal church service. Sometimes he placed this event in California, sometimes it occurred in Texas.

After his conversion and defection in ’73, the Satanists made many attempts on Todd’s life. This campaign of terror echoes the assassination attempts described by Mike Warnke and his first wife, and was equally unsuccessful. How is that these international Satanists can pull off world wars, but they can’t bump off two regular dudes?
Todd wouldn’t have been hard to find. He was working at a Pheonix, Arizona coffeehouse run by Pentecostal Ken Long, a local leader of the Jesus movement.

Todd’s extant lectures overflow with such stupefyingly retarded bullshit. Just a few examples:

  • Ayn Rand fans are Communists. Atlas Shrugged was commissioned by Philippe Rothschild (Rand’s lover) as a blueprint for the destruction of the U.S. and the Communist/Illuminati takeover of the world. Rand inserted racy passages in the book to keep Christians away from it. Todd doesn’t explain why Rothschild didn’t just write it himself. (One wonders, too, why the Satanists concocted an eight-year plan in the ’70s if Rand had already produced a step-by-step instruction manual for global domination back in ’57. I guess the Illuminati doesn’t mind busywork. Also, Rand’s hinky sex life has been exhaustively documented – I mean, seriously, TMI – and it didn’t involve any Rothschilds.)
  • JFK faked his death. Wait, no he didn’t. As “personal warlock” to the Kennedys, Todd met with JFK many times in the early ’70s. He never went into detail about this. In later talks, he said JFK was assassinated in 1963 because he was born again in Tampa, Florida.
  • Epilepsy is a medical condition, but the seizures are caused by demonic possession and/or medication. Todd actually instructed his epileptic listeners not to take their medication.
  • The supernatural soap opera Dark Shadows was based on the history of the Collins family. Todd was asked to bring a family diary to Hollywood, all expenses paid, one summer. He spent several months as a consultant to the writers while the series was being developed. I’ve never seen Dark Shadows, but my mother tells me most of the main characters were vampires and werewolves rather than witches, and there wasn’t any explicit occult content other than maybe a few black candles. Episode synopses at Wikipedia indicate the plot elements were culled from classic Gothic lit and popular novels.
  • Most of the cast of the Star Wars movies were gay men who had slept with the producers, culled from The Young and the Restless. The Y&R cast contained so many witches that Todd referred to it as an “occult soap opera”. But none of the primary Star Wars actors were ever in it. Mark Hamill was on General Hospital. Harrison Ford was never on a soap at all. Nor was Alec Guinness. James Earl Jones was on The Guiding Light and As the World Turns. Billy Dee Williams was on The Guiding Light; even though he still does a lot of soap work, he has never been on Y&R (interestingly, though, Ford and Williams appeared in some of the same films and TV shows: The Conversation, The F.B.I., and The Mod Squad). All of these men had considerable acting ability and would certainly not have to sleep with any producers to get work. Aside from Guinness, who was reportedly bi, not one of them appears to be gay. Maybe the Modal Nodes were gay warlocks?
  • Actress Cindy Williams (Laverne and Shirley) and her boyfriend started a witch cult. I suspect Todd singled out Williams because she and Penny Marshall co-wrote a screenplay about the Salem witch trials, Paper Hands. She was also in The Conversation, the tale of a man who lets paranoia and his imagination get the better of him. Hmm.
  • Most Israeli license plates contain the number 666. Todd was taking a big risk with this one. Any listener who had traveled to Israel would know he was full of it.
  • All of the people executed during the Salem witch trials were born again Christians rather than Puritans, and this is why the Collins family and other secret witches had them killed.
  • The Illuminati gave him $8 million to start the Christian record label Marantha Records, to corrupt Christian youth via Satanic rock music. Marantha would later produce such hardcore Satanic albums as Psalty’s Funtastic Praise Party.
  • The Dunwich Horror, starring Sandra Dee, was the most accurate representation of witchcraft on film. LOL. I’ve seen this movie, and about the only thing it accurately represents is Grade B cheese.

Part II

Move over, Burzum…

The Prodigal Witch: Intro


Since the 1960s, the fundamentalist Christian community has been moved and inspired by the testimonies of “Satanists”, “witches”, and “Illuminati members” who ditched their evil ways to become born again. But are the stories told by these reformed devil-worshipers actually true?

In this series we’ll look at some of the most famous former witches:

Doreen Irvine, the original Witch That Switched (mentioned in my last post); she was a streetwalker and Queen of All Black Witches in Europe before being saved

Mike Warnke, a Christian comic and minister whose tales of Satanic debauchery turned out to be a little light on facts and a bit heavy on the utter b.s.

John Todd. Illuminati witch. Born again preacher. Total sociopath. After spewing more WTFery than a Charlie Sheen soundboard, he helped persuade the Weaver family to go to Ruby Ridge.

Bill Schnoebelen. Claims to have been a Mormon, a priest, a witch, a Satanist, a Freemason, and an actual vampire. Busy guy.

Irene Park, “The Witch that Switched”. An imaginary friend led her to become the most evil woman in the world (or at least Florida). But don’t worry – she ended up being a minister.

The late “Lauren Stratford”. In the ’80s she was the poster girl for recovered Satanists, and her memoir was a major factor in that decade’s anti-occult hysteria. Then she changed her mind and became a Holocaust survivor instead.

“Arizona Wilder”, a mind-controlled Illuminati high priestess who presided over the gory sacrificial rites of Reptilian Satanists from another dimension

And a few others.

Wednesday Weirdness Roundup

Australian toilet vampires, yo.

  • The Too Much Time on Their Hands Award goes to the group of archeology students who supposedly saw a UFO last week while digging for Bigfoot remains in Kemerovo Province, Russia.
  • When it comes to weirdness, Henry Makow’s Save the Males website is a goldmine. And today’s top story doesn’t disappoint: Two Australian MPs give each other a “Masonic handshake” while Prime Minister Julia Gillard – a “Satanic lodge head” and “toilet vampiress” – looks on approvingly. WTF is a toilet vampiress, and what do toilets have to do with Satanism? This letter to Makow from Aloysius Fozdyke explains it all. You may recall that Fozdyke, an actual Satanist, made up a deathbed confession by a fictional Satanist he called Frater 616. Apparently he did this for some giggles, but Makow takes The Order of the Toilet very seriously. Incidentally, I don’t care what Masons do with their hands.
  • I guess this was bound to happen: The Obama Body Count. The good news is, it’s completely bogus. Victims include the author of a nonexistent book (Jihad at the Voting Box), several names that lead exactly nowhere, a childhood classmate of Obama who was supposedly murdered when Obama was 9 years old (“since Islam demands that a boy spill another’s blood before the age of ten”), people connected to Reverend Wright and Larry Sinclair (one of whom died when Obama was 11), and a guy named Gandy Baugh who also appeared on the Clinton Body Count lists. They also have the wrong name for the D.C. Madam (and fail to explain why Obama was responsible for her suicide). Several conservative sites posted this email in 2008, and still refuse to accept that it’s not legit.

Wednesday Weirdness: Satanic Nephilim Hybrids

 

In lieu of a weirdness roundup, I’m gonna give you one big ol‘ chunk of weirdness that warped my mind this week. What do you get when you combine Biblical prophecy, Illuminati conspiracy theories, aliens, pop psychology, and teen vampire novels? A serious freaking mess.

On the Monday-Tuesday broadcast of Coast to Coast AM, guest L.A. Marzulli nattered on about endtime prophecy, natural disasters, and a Great Deception involving aliens or the Illuminati or something. I wasn’t really listening. Then he said this: According to two researchers who contacted him recently, at least two American women claiming to be victims of Satanic ritual abuse (SRA) have reported that the Satanists took them to Mount Hermon to be impregnated by fallen angels, which Marzulli referred to as the Nephilim of Genesis 6:4 (I’m not even sure if the Nephilim are supposed to be the same “sons of God” that mated with human women, or giants unrelated to the angels, or the offspring of angels and women, but that’s a different post). The researchers who alerted Marzulli to this story had no vested interest in the matter, he insisted.
Marzulli then hinted that the hybrid offspring of these women have some connection to the alien breeding program, and that the Nephilim are keeping them at an offworld location.
“Will they bring them back at some point?” host George Noory asked.
“Yes, they will,” Marzulli replied without hesitation.

So I Googled “Nephilim ritual abuse” and found a recent online radio interview with Pastor Doug Riggs, described as a friend of L.A. Marzulli. The subject was “Nephilim Mothers”.
The name Doug Riggs was very familiar to me, but I couldn’t recall precisely why. I rifled through some notes. Sure enough, I had jotted down a bit of info on the guy. A month or two ago I had stumbled upon a documentary from 1994, In Satan’s Name, which originally aired on HBO. Riggs and his Morningstar Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, were featured in the film’s most memorable and disturbing segment.

In 1994, no fewer than 14 members of Morningstar Church believed they had been brought up in Satanism, were horrifically abused as children, and had Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). All of this was based on repressed memories they recovered while in “counseling” with Pastor Riggs, during sessions lasting up to 19 hours in length. Please keep in mind that we’re not talking about Okie bumpkins, here. These were reasonably intelligent, middle-class people who seriously should have known better.
To be fair, Morningstar didn’t look like a cult. Riggs was a poised, handsome man with graying hair and a mellow voice. He spoke knowledgeably about psychology. It’s no wonder that parishioners turned to him for pastoral counseling unrelated to Satanism or abuse (marital trouble, eating disorders, etc.).
From 1985 on, these counselees began recovering memories of horrific, lifelong ritual abuse at the hands of Satanists. Namely their own parents. And after 1991, when Riggs learned about MPD (now known as Dissociative Identity Disorder), they began to discover they had hundreds, even thousands, of separate personalities because of the Satanic ritual abuse. Riggs told them that every single one of their alters could be possessed by demons.
Counseling was conducted in a large room with a mattress on the floor, so counselees could go through abreactions without hurting themselves. Riggs would lay on top of the person when abreactions became intense, while helpers held the person’s arms and legs. In this way, counseling and deliverance from demonic possession were merged into a single process. In one filmed session with a 30ish man, Riggs ordered a demon out of his body (“Explode the seals!”) while the man writhed and convulsed on the mattress, growling obscenities.
Ultimately, Riggs concluded that all these people had been victimized by the same Satanic cult, led by a man named Joe (father of one of the parishioners, Pam), and that God had brought the victims together at Morningstar to be healed. Joe supposedly conducted powerful rituals for high government officials (including leaders of the Soviet Union), the Vatican, even heads of state. The narrator of In Satan’s Name explains that in reality, Joe was a Nebraska salesman who had never left his home state. He died during filming.
Needless to say, the allegations tore apart families. A graceful, soft-spoken couple in their 60s, Jim and Fran Field, mourned the loss of their daughter Cynthia to what they considered a destructive, all-consuming cult.

This was as far as In Satan’s Name took the story, but I soon learned that the situation at Morningstar was even stranger.
A testimony written in 1999 by 49-year-old Morningstar member Kim Campbell starts out as boilerplate SRA stuff. Campbell explains that Satanism, “as old as mankind itself”, is a blend of SumeroAkkadian/Babylonian mystery religions, Kabbala, and Paganism. “The culture is unbelievably and ingeniously evil; virutally everything about the culture is humanly damaging.” Kim was subjected not only to “every abuse, trauma, and demonization imaginable within satanism”, but to “medically-based mind control programming” at U.S. government facilities, clinics, and the Tavistock Institute (a favourite bugaboo in the world of conspiracy theory). Half of his waking preschool life was spent “being indoctrinated and incested“. This realization came to him after 18 months of therapy with Pastor Riggs.
It isn’t until page 7 of the testimony that shit gets seriously weird. Kim drops this bombshell: His real father was Edouard Philippe de Rothschild, and Kim was the “bastard son…of occult incest”, indicating his mom Lula (who died in 1977) had some relation to the Rothschilds. Kim spent much of his childhood and adolescence on his dad’s French estate, and was brought up in homosexual incest. He thought it was normal, even admirable.
Edouard despised God and loved humanity with equal passion. “Such was the true generational core of my ancestral iniquity and, being a Rothschild descendant, it was maximally demonized.” As all Satanists do, Edouard introduced his son to Christianity, “with none other than Herr Josef Mengele himself coaching him over his shoulder.” Kim was being groomed to infiltrate the Protestant church. As Riggs declared, the members of Morningstar Church “had come together to live in such a way as to hasten the Lord’s coming for His Bride, but we also had been constituted in the occult to frustrate the will of God for the Church and bring the antichrist instead.”

Wow. Just wow. Somehow, Doug Riggs convinced most of his 30-40 parishioners that they were multiple personalities trained by the great families of Europe and Nazi doctors to infiltrate the Christian Church and pave the way for the Antichrist, who would be a member of the Hapsburg family. Instead, they found a saviour. Unfracking-believable, no?

Let’s go back to L.A. Marzulli for a moment. He also mentioned that Dr. Mengele was one of the originators of mind control. This is a very popular notion in conspiracy circles, but it makes little sense. Mengele was a geneticist, not a psychiatrist, and there’s no evidence that he took even the slightest interest in psychology.
Marzulli also made reference to the work of I.E.D. Thomas, a Welsh minister who believes that UFOs and alien abductions are demonic manifestations, another guise of the Nephilim.

Back to Riggs and the Morningstar Satanists. Last April, Riggs and his wife were guests on The Byte Show, accompanied by about half a dozen of Riggs’ SRA victims, to discuss the infiltration of Nephilim hybrids into society.
Riggs began the show with a reading of Matthew 24:37, in which it is stated that the coming of the Son of Man (Christ) will be just like the days of Noah. And what happened in the days of Noah? Nephilim mated with the daughters of Man. That’s exactly what Riggs contends is happening now. Fallen angels – the “B’nai Elohim” – are interbreeding with human women, by force. He cited the work of I.E.D. Thomas. Hmm. Call me an asshole, but I’m starting to wonder if Marzulli’s “two researchers” actually exist. Isn’t it more likely that he got his eschatological Illuminati-Satanic-Nephilim info from his buddy Doug?

Two women gave their stories of being “Nephilim mothers”.
Sally, a surprisingly chirpy woman, says that after joining Riggs’ church, she began to journal and pray, and memories started surfacing. She shared her journal with the pastor, but after a time she felt God compelling her to share things directly, even her most frightening memory (the President wearing a gorilla costume). Through prayer and God’s guidance, she learned to trust her emerging memories. She learned that she came from a royal bloodline, stamped with a certain iniquity and allied with Nazi doctors. Many years ago she revealed to Riggs that she had once given birth to a Nephilim child. She had been groomed literally from the womb to bond with the principality (spirit) that sired this child.

Riggs sat on the Nephilim hybrid revelation until this year. Now he’s an expert on the subject. Riggs explains that Nephilim conception occurs at age 13, through an arcane genetic-engineering process (angels can’t reproduce). Gestation is 4 months. Once the Nephilim hybrid sons have matured, their mothers are encouraged to become their lovers, carrying on the tradition of “incesting“.

The second woman, Juliana, learned just this year that her recovered memories of giving birth to human sons were actually screen memories of bearing Nephilim sons. Like all the other Morningstar members, she was born to a European “royal family”, then placed with relatives in the U.S. She was “incested” by the couple she called her mom and dad. She trusts her recovered memories because of their emotional intensity, a very poor indicator of whether a memory is true or false.

For the rest of the program, Riggs made a strenuous effort to show that the SRA victims’ memories didn’t come from him. Hilariously, though, he got them to explain how he doesn’t tell them what to say by telling them what to say.
There is, of course, ample reason to suspect that the Satanic Illuminati stories did come from Riggs. First of all, there’s that peculiar use of “incest” as a verb. While this may be common usage in the survivor community, I have come across it only a handful of times – and every single instance involved Riggs or one of his church members. Secondly, recovered memories of SRA have turned out time and time again to be unreliable (see the Ingram case for a particularly chilling example). Thirdly, some of the key details are whack. There was no Edouard Philippe de Rothschild, and if there had been he would have been Jewish. How, I wonder, would a Jewish Frenchman and a Catholic Nazi groom a child to infiltrate American Protestant churches? If the Satanic New World Order plot is closely linked with Hitler’s plan to create Aryan supermen, as Riggs contends, why would a former Nazi help a Jewish man raise his illegitimate children? And Satanism notwithstanding, why would a Nazi and a Jew be hanging out together in the first place?

Then there’s the fact that this has all happened before.
In the early ’90s, right around the time Riggs was learning about MPD/DID, psychiatrist Bennett Braun opened a DID treatment unit at Chicago’s Rush Presbyterian Hospital. Within a year, he and his colleagues had most of the patients convinced they were lifelong victims of Satanic cults, that their alter personalities still practiced Satanism, that they had ritually sacrificed and/or eaten other people, and that because of their Satanic affiliations they posed a mortal danger to their families, themselves, and other patients. Braun even told them that flowers sent to their rooms were coded mind-control messages from Satanists, with certain colours representing threats and commands.
As former patients like Pat Burgus and Mary Shanley later revealed (see the Frontline documentary The Search for Satan), the people in Braun’s DID unit were so heavily medicated that stories of cannibalism and Satanic incest began to make sense to them. They have since renounced all their “recovered memories”, and some filed lawsuits against Braun and the other doctors involved in their treatment.
What happened at Rush Presbyterian isn’t much different from the spectacular displays of female hysteria that gripped Paris’s Salpetriere Hospital in the late 19th century. Under the influence of Dr. Jean-Martin Charcot, numerous women underwent bizarre convulsions and contortions not unlike the symptoms of “demonic possession”. When Charcot died in 1893, the symptoms abated, leading some of his colleagues to suspect that the hysteria had been iatrogenic in nature. Medical historian Edward Shorter supports this conclusion in his book A History of Psychiatry (1997, John Wiley & Sons).
Though Dissociative Identity Disorder is classified as a dissociative disorder in the DSM-IV, Multiple Personality Disorder was considered a form of hysteria. Specifically, it was Grande Hysterie – the very same condition suffered by Charcot’s patients.

Now for the crazy part…

The day after I listened to L.A. Marzulli and Doug Riggs, I opened book four of Kristin and P.C. Cast’s popular House of Night series, which is about a vampire high school. The Casts (mother and daughter) have combined elements of Wicca and Native American spirituality to create a unique, goddess-centred mythos. This particular book, Untamed, came out in 2008.
Halfway through the book, a demonic figure from ancient Cherokee prophecy is mentioned. This fictional character is a beautiful fallen angel, complete with black wings, who habitually captures and rapes human women. He is specifically referred to as one of the Nephilim. His hybrid offspring are the hideous Raven Mockers of (actual) myth. According to the prophecy, he will rise again to dominate the earth – and only a handful of teenage vampires-in-training can stop him.
Where does all this take place? In the Casts’ hometown: Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Wednesday Weirdness Roundup

Jedi knights are Satanists, Black-Eyed Kids become Psycho Killer Adults, and other stuff you really don’t need to know
  • There’s no shortage of videos that promise to give you the truthiness about Illuminati Satanism, but I think this one might be the most idiotic of them all. The filmmaker is Michael Wynn, a programmer and Alex Jones fan who openly admits his first film (Starwars Unveiled [sic]) was “lame and untimely”. Sadly, he hasn’t realized that his seven subsequent efforts were pretty much the same. In Illuminati Esotera (esotera?), he attempts to convince us that the world’s elite have long been practicing for their transformation into “bodies of light”, and that Hollywood movies somehow prove this. However, he doesn’t tell us much about those movies, except for one that no one in their right mind has actually ever seen: Warlock: The Armageddon. He talks mostly about Hindu mysticism, the Mask card in the game Illuminati, and of course Star Wars. The conspiranoid world is obsessed with Star Wars, picking through every scene for Illuminati symbolism and New World Order propaganda. Jordan Maxwell insists that Luke Skywalker is the Morning Star, Lucifer, who “walks across the sky”, but he still hasn’t told us what the freaking Ewoks represent. Anyway, Wyn informs us the Jedi are patterned after Egyptian magi called Djedi, who had lots of wicked powers. You may not have heard of them. That’s because, well, they don’t exist. Wynn is apparently referring to one elderly dude called Djed-Djedi (or Tate), mentioned in a single story recorded on the Westcar Papyrus. Far from having Jedi skills, this guy could basically just drink a lot of beer and resurrect dead geese. No one is exactly sure, but “Jedi” could be derived from the Japanese jidaigeki, or from the Jeddak warriors in Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Barsoom series. (Thanks, Wookiepedia!) But I wouldn’t expect much wisdom from Mr. Wynn, anyway; his 2009 film Magick and The Matrix examines Abdul AlHazred’s [sic] Necronomicon and the Illuminati’s concealment of the truths it bares”, arguing that The Matrix was inspired by it. Sigh.
  • Turns out Wyn isn’t the only one running with this Djedi thing. A search on YouTube brings up everything from Djedi aliens to, well, Djedi aliens.
  • If you’re concerned about Satanism and you feel that Michael Wyn & Co. aren’t winning the fight against it, have no fear! Malaysian clerics have banished one of the most pernicious purveyors of Satanism in the world: The Manchester United devil.
  • Recently I wrote about the Black-Eyed Kids phenomenon, which amounts to weird anecdotes about creepy-ass children with no whites in their eyes. But this blog post by Jason Offut takes BEKs to a whole other level: This time, a child reported seeing a Black-Eyed Adult. A 9-year-old witness to the recent Cumbria massacre claimed that spree-killer Derrick Bird had totally black eyes. So now these BEKs aren’t just bothersome li’l urchins; they’re the mass murderers of tomorrow. Be afraid. Then again, our pupils tend to dilate when we’re doing stuff we really enjoy, and clearly Mr. Bird really enjoyed killing people.

Pants Afire Awards

The Pants Afire Award goes to the least credible people I’ve written about here on Swallowing the Camel.
And the lucky winners are…

Benjamin Fulford, saving the world with Freemasonic ninjas

Larry Sinclair – Obama’s gay lover and his murder allegations

James Frey – Bad writer, no Pulitzer!

Sylvia Browne, the whiskey-throated emodiment of epic FAIL

Dr. Deagle – taking WTF to whole new levels

Al Bielek – He survived the Philadelphia Experiment only to be zapped back to infancy. Never trust the government, folks.

Casey Anthony – Whether she’s guilty of killing her daughter or not, this girl has got to be one of the least competent liars in the history of lying.

Richard “Iceman” Kuklinski – He became the world’s most infamous Mafia hitman without actually working for the Mafia or being a hitman.

Wednesday Weirdness Roundup

  • There are lots of good reasons to object to “ghostbusting”. It’s often practiced by self-proclaimed experts with ulterior motives, and it’s a complete waste of time and money and effort. But is it dangerous? The folks behind the Dangers of The Paranormal Project think so. They point out that marketing ghostbusting TV shows, outings, and paraphernalia to young children introduces them to “after death” issues far too early, and can overload them emotionally with experiences they don’t understand. Not a bad point. Unfortunately, the site relies heavily on the expertise of the ghostbusters themselves, and stresses that supernatural dangers pose a threat to children who dabble in the paranormal (this page lists possession, insanity, and “getting pushed by entities”).
  • What’s more disturbing than attributing evolution and the creation of all major world religions to evil aliens? An insanely animated website about those aliens. Probably not safe for epileptics. Also NSFW, unless you want your colleagues to think you’re losing your mind.
  • And speaking of losing your mind, what’s stranger than listening to Steven Greer? Arguing with him. But that’s precisely what the duo of Project Camelot do in their latest video offering. Apparently, the PC folks believed they were furthering the aims of Greer’s UFO Disclosure Project by interviewing every lunatic who strayed into their path, and are rather miffed that he hasn’t thanked them yet. Highlight of the Greer/PC debate: “What we get from our secret witnesses, and from people who are exposed to the Illuminati philosophy constantly, is that our time is running out in terms of… like… there is around ten months left of food before it runs out on the planet and there’s another three to four years’ worth of oxygen.”
  • And speaking of UFO disclosure, Gary “Because I Got High” McKinnon is still letting his mum fight his battles for him. Now she’s appealing to Obama for help. Meanwhile, another hacker with Asperger’s has been handed a stiff sentence – and no one cares, apparently because there isn’t any alien-type stuff involved. Interesting.

Conspiracy Monday: Masonic vaccines and other stuff

I hesitate to call the following a “conspiracy theory”. It’s more like “completely clueless and misinformed rambling.” An elderly woman caller to a Canadian radio show, who gives free all-day seminars in Vancouver, had this to say about vaccines and the NWO:

She began her rant by saying that most of us are completely ignorant of history and what’s going on around us. She must educate the masses before it’s too late.

– “There is absolutely nothing scientific about vaccines. If it’s true that being exposed to a little bit of a disease makes you immune to it, why do you get a cold and then get another cold later on?! A vaccine has no antibodies! So how can it help your immune system?” She seemed to believe that all viruses contain live viruses, and that you will contract any disease the vaccination is designed to prevent. Like many anti-vaccination hysterics, she does not fully grasp what vaccination even is or how it works.

– “We have an explosion of autoimmune diseases, which happened after we started shooting all these vaccines into children. Now if you were going to do genocide, where would be the best place to start?”
Host: “Um, with children…?”

– All flus, most enzymes, and HIV/AIDS come out of U.S. labs.

– Patenting vaccines and gene sequences is wrong, because they are natural. It’s an Illuminati plot. The host gently tells her that THEY didn’t exactly push this through; there were many court battles involved, but she’s already halfway through the next part of her spiel by this time.

– “The dumbing down of America is being done with vaccines.” Viruses in the vaccines attack the “mylar sheath”, and cross the blood-brain barrier to cause brain inflammation/encephalitis. Most vaccinated infants die in hospital, thanks to vaccines. (I don’t know where she’s been living; Canada has low infant mortality rates)

Whew. Sorry about the babies, but this a relief. I don’t even have a Mylar sheath. Oh wait, yes I do. Oh well. I’ll just go to MEC and get another one.

The woman finally tired of educating the igner’nt masses about the evils of innoculation, and moved on to the “Illuminati agenda”.

– “When Russia reorganized its elite, they did it through secret societies. The Masonic orders. They are everywhere. They have literally infiltrated every organization, and are Trojan horses within those organizations.”

She promises that her next free seminar will tie together HAARP mind control, chemtrails, laser weapons that incinerate people, and many other skeins of the Illuminati agenda.

– Martial law is months or weeks away. “It will be like Stalin’s Russia, or that guy in Chile, what was his name?”
Host: “Pinochet?”
“Yeah, yeah. Pinochet.”

You’ve been warned, folks. Protect those Mylar sheaths by exposing yourself to viral diseases without any protection! Watch out for those Russian Freemasons!

Conspiracy Monday Wednesday: The Stupidest David Carradine Theory So Far (Updated)

In lieu of a Wednesday Weirdness Roundup, here’s one big ol’ chunk of weirdness for you…

As you probably know, David Carradine, star of Kung Fu and the Kill Bill movies, died in Thailand on June 3rd. His death was apparently caused by either suicide or auto-erotic asphyxiation (sorry for TMI, but it’s kinda central to this post).

On June 6th, very shortly after the latter possibility came to light, Jones’ Infowars website reported on Extra correspondent Jerry Penacoli’s comment, during a Larry King broadcast, that Carradine was “very interested in investigating and disclosing secret societies” and that his death was “abnormal…not natural.”

Evidently, Kurt Nimmo of Infowars considered this a clue to the mystery. The following day, he posted a story titled “Author Claims David Carradine was Ordo Templi Orientis Member.”

This was probably big news to a lot of people, but I’ve been researching “Satanic panic” and witch hunts for several years, which has given me a fairly good grasp of the history and practices of the OTO and other occult organizations. (I could make this post 100 pages long with OTO-related trivia, but I’ll spare you for now. Just check out the Wikipedia entry if you want a quick rundown.)
I knew that John Carradine was involved somehow with the OTO, and a quick check of the two major biographies of Jack Parsons, Sex and Rockets by John Carter (Feral House, 1999) and Strange Angel by George Pendle (Harcourt, 2005), confirmed that he had read a poem by Aleister Crowley at the first meeting of the Agape Lodge in 1935, in Hollywood. This lodge later came under the leadership of Parsons and moved to Pasadena. Pendle mentioned that Carradine visited Parsons at least once after the move. There’s no mention that he was actually a member of the lodge, but let’s assume he was, just for the sake of argument.

Nimmo referenced two works. I had heard of Martin P. Starr’s The Unknown God: W.T. Smith and the Thelemites (2003), which is a biography of the man who established the Agape Lodge, but Craig Heimbichner’s Blood on the Altar: The Secret History of the World’s Most Dangerous Secret Society (2005) was completely unfamiliar to me. I soon found out why.

The link at Infowars led me to the online store at Revisionist History.org, “The Independent History and Research Co.”. This is the website of Holocaust “revisionist” (denier) and professional conspiranoid Michael A. Hoffman II. His store offers an array of B-grade conspiracy books and racist/anti-Semitic literature, including Hate Whitey: The Cinema of Defamation, Hoffman’s own Witches and Rabbis: Legacy of the Reagan White House, and the batsh** insane ramblings of the late James Shelby Downard.

Blood on the Altar supposedly exposes OTO links to NASA, Patriot groups, NAMBLA, Kabbala, ’60s drug culture, and neo-conservatism – among other things. In fall 2005 Paranoia magazine reviewed it, and Heimbichner replied with an essay posted at Revisionist History. A link to this essay was provided at Infowars. In it, Heimbichner states that two-party political systems “are minted from the kabbalistic schema of Rabbi Isaac Luria (1534-1572)” and repeats the names of some prominent people “linked” to the OTO: Alfred Kinsey (who made a single visit to the abandoned Abbey of Thelema years after Crowley’s death), Aldous Huxley, Vatican Secretary of State Cardinal Rampolla, Robert Heinlein (who may have corresponded with Parsons, a sci-fi fan; Heinlein’s widow and L. Sprague de Camp claimed the two men never met in person), and of course John Carradine (curiously, the only entertainer mentioned).

Why did Nimmo choose to reference an alarmist, anti-Semitic screed peddled by a Holocaust denier, rather than thoroughly respectable works like those written by John Carter et al? Only he knows for certain, but I suspect his answer would only reinforce my utter disrespect for Infowars and Prison Planet.

Now, let’s look at the story itself. The implication is, of course, that David Carradine learned too much about the OTO, and someone murdered him to keep him quiet. This really has nothing to do with what Jerry Penacoli and Keith Carradine’s attorney, Mark Geragos, were talking about on Larry King. They suspected that David Carradine had uncovered some dirt on the “martial-arts underworld”. But let’s set aside the second-stupidest theory about Carradine’s death, and deal just with the OTO thing.

Is Nimmo’s suggestion plausible? Not really. OTO members, past and present, tend to be proud iconoclasts – they don’t care if you know what they do in their spare time. Parsons, for instance, was repeatedly slandered and condemned by neighbors and colleagues, but never once backed off from his occult interests to appease anyone. His rituals might have remained secret, but his lifestyle didn’t.

Nor are OTO members known to be violent, dangerous, or menacing. They’re mostly productive and responsible citizens, highly intelligent and creative. Does Robert Anton Wilson seem like the kind of guy who would have barged into a man’s hotel room, ruthlessly murdered him, then staged an embarrassing suicide just to keep anyone from knowing he was a member? Srsly?

From its inception, the American OTO has never been implicated in any serious wrongdoing. Probably its gravest offense, legally, was in allowing gay and bi sex rites at a time when homosexuality was illegal. Members tend to like their illicit substances, but they aren’t hardened criminals. Subversive? Yes. A little pervy? Maybe. Somewhat gullible? Yes, especially in Parsons’ case. But not coercive or cultish, and certainly not some kind of occult Mafia that dispatches assassins to Thai hotels to kill septuagenarians.

If someone connected to the OTO did kill Carradine, then there would likely be some evidence of murder that Thai officials would have to cover up. The question is, why would they? The OTO has never been as star-studded and influential as Freemasonry, Opus Dei, or other “secret” societies, and it doesn’t have a strong presence in Asia.

Do OTO members worship Satan? No. Alex Jones and company might say yes, but no. “Occult” does not equal “Satanic”, period. Crowley and Parsons dabbled in some dark stuff, certainly, but even they couldn’t really be called Satanists. Their belief systems were a melange of ancient Egyptian, Tantric, Kabbalistic, Hermetic, Gnostic Christian, and Eastern ideas, just as the OTO is.

Is the OTO part of the New World Order? Not freaking likely, at least not the same NWO Jones imagines. In his NWO, Communists and Nazis and liberals and neocons are all of a piece. Both the OTO’s co-founder, Theodore Reuss, and its most infamous member, Aleister Crowley, worked as anti-Communist informants in Germany. Crowley disseminated Nazi propaganda in WWII, but to this day no one’s quite sure if he was working on behalf of British intelligence or not. And the OTO leader who replaced Crowley, Karl Germer, was captured by the Gestapo, tortured, and thrown into a concentration camp because the Nazis hated secret societies they couldn’t control.
The OTO just isn’t cut out to be an Establishment outfit. Maybe if Pat Buchanan joins….

Is the OTO, as Heimbichner contends, the next step beyond Freemasonry? Yes and no. While some founding members were Freemasons or faux Masons (belonging to lodges that weren’t officially recognized), Crowley – a faux Mason – removed virtually all of the OTO’s Masonic trappings and replaced them with other occult traditions. By the time the OTO reached America, it was less Masonic than Mormonism was.

In Alex Jonestown, any private organization or gathering that isn’t totally transparent and open to any schlub who wanders in off the street is suspect. In the real world, a little secrecy among friends never hurt anyone. Including David Carradine.

But as long as we’re making completely retarded and irresponsible insinuations, maybe Jerry Penacoli killed David Carradine because he knew too much about that gerbil thing.

Some Other Stupid OTO Allegations:

– Ed Sanders, in his lurid Manson bio The Family, claims Manson had dealings with “an irresponsible bastard child of the OTO”, a “devil cult” in Southern California. This is a reference to the Solar Lodge, which was basically a hippie drug cult that claimed descent from the OTO. It was apparently an unauthorized attempt to resurrect the OTO in California, mostly dormant at that time due to contested leadership. The Solar Lodge was not a Satanic group, and there is absolutely no solid evidence that Manson nor any member of his clique had any dealings with the SL, ever. That’s why Sanders was forced to remove the group’s name from later editions of his book.
Sanders insists Manson was also a member of the devil-worshipping “Four P” cult spoken of by convicted killer Stanley Dean Baker, though there’s no evidence this group even existed. Maury Terry ran with this by declaring in his book The Ultimate Evil that the Son of Sam murders were carried out by a splinter group of Four P, itself supposedly a splinter group of the Process Church of the Final Judgement.

– In The Ultimate Evil, Terry contends that The Process incorporated some of the tenets of the OTO, and that the “entire occult underground in America today” can be traced to the Agape Lodge in Pasadena. Very early in his investigation of David Berkowitz, Terry wondered if Berkowitz was involved “with that treacherous English society [The Process] or its OTO counterparts.” At the end of his investigation, he concluded that an offshoot of the Four P cult was responsible for the Son of Sam shootings, and that Four P was an offshoot of The Process.

– Conspiracy researcher Alex Constantine (who might leave a livid, barely coherent comment on this post, ’cause he likes to Google himself) says the Solar Lodge and the OTO were probably CIA-financed and -controlled organizations specializing in mind control, murder, and mayhem. I don’t know about the SL, but as I mentioned earlier, the OTO is not coercive.
So far as I know, no known members of the OTO have committed murder. Yet author Peter Levenda also characterized SL and OTO members as murderous thugs.

– In the ’90s, NYC performer Janice Knowlton recovered memories of childhood ritual abuse and murder, perpetrated by her father in California. Around Halloween 1946, when she was 9, her father pimped her out to a Pasadena sex cult for use in a ritual. She was taken to the basement of a church-like building somewhere near Marengo Avenue and Green Street. There, men in hooded robes stood in a circle and chanted while Janice was instructed by her father to perform oral sex on at least one of the men.
She also recalled being at his side when he murdered women, including his pregnant girlfriend, Elizabeth Short – the Black Dahlia. One problem with this account (and there are many) is that Short was not pregnant at the time of her death.
Knowlton and the co-author of her book (Daddy Was the Black Dahlia Killer), Michael Newton, decided that the sex cult must have been the OTO. They attempt to build a bridge between occult rituals and child sexual abuse, but the span falls far short of its mark. “At this point it should come as no surprise to learn that rumours of cult-related child pornography were current among Los Angeles social service workers in the 1940s”, they write. Perhaps not. But the OTO has never been implicated in anything remotely resembling child abuse. And Knowlton has no reason to believe that the black-hooded men she allegedly encountered were OTO members, anyway.

With all the dangerous cults and bizarro religious groups in existence, why do conspiranoids prefer to pick on an organization that has a clean track record? I think there are several possible answers:

The Crowley connection. Though he wasn’t really a Satanist and didn’t engage in criminal activity (excluding drug use and homosexuality), he’s still considered a Satanic monster by many of those who are unfamiliar with his beliefs and practices.
The NASA connection. Parsons worked at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, and every conspiranoid worth his salt knows that NASA stands for “Never a Straight Answer”. Richard Hoagland has even linked NASA to secret societies, suppressed knowledge, and dark occult deeds.
Sex. Though only the higher levels of the OTO practice sex magick, and despite the fact that one degree actually requires a temporary oath of celibacy, the OTO retains its rep as an ultra-pervy orgy club. Conspiracy theorists don’t seem to have a problem with the Kama Sutra being widely available, but the notion of Tantra plus magick outrages them. Many of them think sex for anything other than heterosexual procreation is a particular vice of the wealthy and debauched. For instance, JAlex Jones seems to believe that the “elite” (educated professionals, elected officials, appointed officials, etc.) are more sexually deviant than the rest of us, and delights in pointing out examples of their sex-related misdeeds. It’s a convenient way to undermine your enemy; Marie Antoinette was accused by her political rivals of everything from lesbianism to incestuous pedophilia.
It’s a “secret society”. To Jones, secret = bad.

Update:

I spoke too soon. This is the stupidest Carradine theory so far: On yesterday’s broadcast of The Alex Jones Show, guest Wayne Madsen suggested that Carradine probably had a heart attack in one of the Bangkok S&M clubs that caters to diplomats, Hollywood actors, and other VIPs. So to avoid the embarrassment of admitting that Carradine died in a whip-me-beat-me establishment, the owners and/or someone acting on behalf of the actor’s manager removed him to his hotel room, hung him in the closet, and staged his demise as a masturbation-related accident. ‘Cause that’s a lot less humiliating for everyone involved.

Atomic Nerds pointed out that Mark Geragos’ theory is actually the best one ever, and I have to agree. Now that Bush is out of office, blaming ninjas for everything has its appeal.

I’m wondering if Benjamin Fulford’s Freemasonic ninjas had some part in this. Maybe they realized that targeting movie stars would have more of an impact than going after government officials.