Wednesday Weirdness Roundup

Jedi knights are Satanists, Black-Eyed Kids become Psycho Killer Adults, and other stuff you really don’t need to know
  • There’s no shortage of videos that promise to give you the truthiness about Illuminati Satanism, but I think this one might be the most idiotic of them all. The filmmaker is Michael Wynn, a programmer and Alex Jones fan who openly admits his first film (Starwars Unveiled [sic]) was “lame and untimely”. Sadly, he hasn’t realized that his seven subsequent efforts were pretty much the same. In Illuminati Esotera (esotera?), he attempts to convince us that the world’s elite have long been practicing for their transformation into “bodies of light”, and that Hollywood movies somehow prove this. However, he doesn’t tell us much about those movies, except for one that no one in their right mind has actually ever seen: Warlock: The Armageddon. He talks mostly about Hindu mysticism, the Mask card in the game Illuminati, and of course Star Wars. The conspiranoid world is obsessed with Star Wars, picking through every scene for Illuminati symbolism and New World Order propaganda. Jordan Maxwell insists that Luke Skywalker is the Morning Star, Lucifer, who “walks across the sky”, but he still hasn’t told us what the freaking Ewoks represent. Anyway, Wyn informs us the Jedi are patterned after Egyptian magi called Djedi, who had lots of wicked powers. You may not have heard of them. That’s because, well, they don’t exist. Wynn is apparently referring to one elderly dude called Djed-Djedi (or Tate), mentioned in a single story recorded on the Westcar Papyrus. Far from having Jedi skills, this guy could basically just drink a lot of beer and resurrect dead geese. No one is exactly sure, but “Jedi” could be derived from the Japanese jidaigeki, or from the Jeddak warriors in Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Barsoom series. (Thanks, Wookiepedia!) But I wouldn’t expect much wisdom from Mr. Wynn, anyway; his 2009 film Magick and The Matrix examines Abdul AlHazred’s [sic] Necronomicon and the Illuminati’s concealment of the truths it bares”, arguing that The Matrix was inspired by it. Sigh.
  • Turns out Wyn isn’t the only one running with this Djedi thing. A search on YouTube brings up everything from Djedi aliens to, well, Djedi aliens.
  • If you’re concerned about Satanism and you feel that Michael Wyn & Co. aren’t winning the fight against it, have no fear! Malaysian clerics have banished one of the most pernicious purveyors of Satanism in the world: The Manchester United devil.
  • Recently I wrote about the Black-Eyed Kids phenomenon, which amounts to weird anecdotes about creepy-ass children with no whites in their eyes. But this blog post by Jason Offut takes BEKs to a whole other level: This time, a child reported seeing a Black-Eyed Adult. A 9-year-old witness to the recent Cumbria massacre claimed that spree-killer Derrick Bird had totally black eyes. So now these BEKs aren’t just bothersome li’l urchins; they’re the mass murderers of tomorrow. Be afraid. Then again, our pupils tend to dilate when we’re doing stuff we really enjoy, and clearly Mr. Bird really enjoyed killing people.
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