Australian toilet vampires, yo.
- The Too Much Time on Their Hands Award goes to the group of archeology students who supposedly saw a UFO last week while digging for Bigfoot remains in Kemerovo Province, Russia.
- When it comes to weirdness, Henry Makow’s Save the Males website is a goldmine. And today’s top story doesn’t disappoint: Two Australian MPs give each other a “Masonic handshake” while Prime Minister Julia Gillard – a “Satanic lodge head” and “toilet vampiress” – looks on approvingly. WTF is a toilet vampiress, and what do toilets have to do with Satanism? This letter to Makow from Aloysius Fozdyke explains it all. You may recall that Fozdyke, an actual Satanist, made up a deathbed confession by a fictional Satanist he called Frater 616. Apparently he did this for some giggles, but Makow takes The Order of the Toilet very seriously. Incidentally, I don’t care what Masons do with their hands.
- I guess this was bound to happen: The Obama Body Count. The good news is, it’s completely bogus. Victims include the author of a nonexistent book (Jihad at the Voting Box), several names that lead exactly nowhere, a childhood classmate of Obama who was supposedly murdered when Obama was 9 years old (“since Islam demands that a boy spill another’s blood before the age of ten”), people connected to Reverend Wright and Larry Sinclair (one of whom died when Obama was 11), and a guy named Gandy Baugh who also appeared on the Clinton Body Count lists. They also have the wrong name for the D.C. Madam (and fail to explain why Obama was responsible for her suicide). Several conservative sites posted this email in 2008, and still refuse to accept that it’s not legit.
Swallowing The Camel 
From what I've seen, just about anything can be called a "Masonic Hand-signal", and often is. Thus any casual position of the hand, or hand-shake, can be called "Masonic" if one wants to say that someone's a Mason (which we all know is the same as being an occultist, right?).Obama… First of all, it is simply a load of nonsense to say that Islam demands a boy shed blood before the age of ten, I believe they have that confused with the Satanic Cult of Nyarl-Amun (which I just made up) or some such. Nothing like demonising a group you don't understand. I must say, if that was true, we'd have a much higher murder rate in Stoke on Trent than we do. And anyhow, Obama's not a Muslim. As I have pointed out to everyone who tells me that'fact', Islam is profoundly conservative, which Obama is not. On the other hand, he acts just like a liberal Protestant. So either he is a Muslim trying to bring the US under Sharia Law by implementing liberal social policies, while pretending to be a liberal Protestant as part of a nefarious plan hatched by the evil Imam Ali Ben Dover, or he's a liberal Protestant acting like a liberal Protestant. I prefer to go with the simpler explanation.
Texe Marrs has given some of the funniest "Masonic signals" examples I've ever seen. He claimed that Pat Robertson was making the Masonic "Lion's Paw" on the cover of Time back in '86…but Robertson is just as rabidly anti-Masonic as Marrs himself. (He also insisted that Helen Keller must have been a Satanist, because the sign language for "I love you" she *invented* was a Satanic symbol, though sign language was brought to America decades before she was born)When I asked an anti-Obama blogger what constitutes "closet Islam", she told me that we don't know about closeted Muslims because we haven't un-closeted one yet. Sigh. I'm sure she would accept the kill-before-10 nonsense, too.
Last year I reviewed Gail Riplinger's latest book. She's one of Texe Marrs' friends, I believe. She has some hilarious Masonic nonsense, including ten pages of speculation about why Archbishop Trench put a certain symbol on the title page of his book – all without realising that he didn't – it's the publisher's logo! She also mistakes Trench's badge of office, a St. Patrick's Cross, for a masonic emblem.More to the point, she has a page of people doing the "Lion's Paw" (including Billy Graham and Pat Robertson). Some are using the left hand, some the right. In fact there is hardly anything in common between the hands of the men (and one woman) represented. Which really makes no sense at all, but since when did Mrs. Riplinger's books make sense? This is, after all, the woman who thinks the Da Vinci Code is a reliable source of information on the Knights Templar!Those who write and buy such nonsense are the sort of Fundamentalists who earned the title Lord Soper gave them – "Funny mentalists".
…it's the publisher's logo! Ha! Quite similar to what Lenon Honor – another decoder of "occult symbolism" – did with a Disney film. He claimed the "G" on the video package was the Masonic G. It's actually the rating.
Yes, there is no limit to what can be read into things by the conspiratorially-minded. "Ooh look, it's an 'X', must be a Mason!" No, duck, it's the St. Andrew's Cross. It seems to me that these folk are in fact merely parading their ignorance before the world!
A wonderful example from Gail Riplinger: "I could write an entire book on the letter X. An aerial view of the Egyptian pyramids is an x inside of a square. The word pyramid comes from pryo (fire) and mid (in the middle). Within the pyramid two sticks (crossed feverishly in an X shape) create a spark and hence a fire upon which a human sacrifice was made." – Hazardous Materials P. 996It need hardly be pointed out that first of all the Egyptian Pyramids were tombs, not temples of human sacrifice, and that her etymology of 'Pyramid' is utterly fanciful. A whole book on the letter 'X' might be amusing, mind you.
Congratulations to Ms. Riplinger: That is quite easily the least coherent thing I have ever read.
Reading it in Victoria Coach Station in London did provoke an involuntary fit of laughter! It's quite the most incoherent bit of nonsense I have ever read as well, and I've read a lot of incoherent nonsense over the years.