Pizzagate: Attack of the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats (Part II)

The Pizzagate Timeline

The Birth of an Hypothesis: The Pizzagate Timeline

There were three main phases in the development of Pizzagate, each involving distinct (yet interlinked) entities on social media.

Phase I (early July to late October 2016): Hints of “something big” involving Hillary Clinton, the Clinton Foundation and child trafficking show up on 4chan, the YouTube channels of pseudo-Anonymous groups, and other lesser-known online forums. At this point we’re dealing with Pedo Democrats.

Phase II (October 28 to November 2, 2016): Nebulous rumours about the Anthony Weiner emails begin to circulate. They will supposedly reveal the Clintons’ participation in Jeffrey Epstein’s rumoured island orgies, Hillary Clinton’s involvement in child trafficking, etc. Now the clickbait “news” sites get on board, cranking out hoax headlines about NYPD and FBI investigations. Marginal alt-right Twitter users and Facebook patriots also get involved. Now we’re dealing with Gay Pedo Democrats.

Phase III (November 3, 2016 to the present): The Pizzagate phase, spawned by the release of a fresh batch of the hacked Podesta emails, erupts. Now Wikileaks,  popular alt-right Twitter users and alt media outlets like the Drudge Report are fully engaged. Reddit and Facebook users resolve to solve the crimes on their own. Suddenly, we’re dealing with Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats.

The Pizzagate timelines published by BuzzFeed and Rolling Stone are highly informative, but due to time and space constraints, neither could reveal the full evolution of the hypothesis – the lesser-known videos and online exchanges that paved the way for Pizzagate like John the Baptist getting everybody psyched to meet his cousin. So I’ve compiled a more detailed timeline. If you want just the meat and potatoes, skip ahead to November 3-4, 2016.

THE PIZZAGATE TIMELINE 

2009: A Jane Doe now known to be Virginia Roberts Giuffre files a lawsuit against the incarcerated Jeffrey Epstein, alleging that he treated her as a “sex slave” from 1999 to 2002, when she was 15-18 years old. Roberts was allegedly recruited from Mar-a-Lago, where she worked as a change room attendant, by one of Epstein’s female procurers.

Much later, in 2015, Roberts names Epstein’s friends Alan Dershowitz and Prince Andrew as other abusers (later withdrawing all accusations against Dershowitz). She also names Bill Clinton and Donald Trump as two of the prominent people who socialized with Epstein on his island estate, but is very clear that neither of these men engaged in any criminal or sexual activity while she was around.

This is significant, because Mrs. Giuffre will be a party to several lawsuits against people connected to Epstein.

July 20, 2010: Jeffrey Epstein is released from prison, having served 13 months of an 18-month sentence for soliciting an underage prostitute in Florida. He was accused by several women of procuring them for “massages” when they were as young as 14, though there is some evidence that Epstein instructed his female procurers to make sure they selected girls over 18 (see James Patterson’s Filthy Rich).

I’m thinking Ron Perlman for Pizzagate: The Movie.

April 12, 2015: Via YouTube, Hillary Clinton announces her 2016 presidential campaign.

June 16, 2015: At Trump Tower in New York, Trump announces his 2016 presidential campaign.

January 29, 2016: Vice publishes a story on Epstein’s close associations with Bill Clinton and Donald Trump. The article cites rumours that Bill Clinton was a guest on Epstein’s private “orgy” island and speculates that Trump wouldn’t dare exploit Clinton’s connection to Epstein for political gain because he, too, was chummy with Epstein, whose Florida home is only a few miles away from Mar-a-Lago.

In 2002, when Epstein was just a mysterious financier and not a suspected sexual predator, Trump freely admitted to knowing him for 15 years and admiring him greatly. He even revealed that they shared a taste for beautiful women, adding “many of them are on the younger side.” But by 2007, Trump had cut all ties to Epstein and even barred him from Mar-a-Lago.

VICE turns out to be correct: Neither Trump nor Clinton will use Epstein as a blunt instrument during their campaigns. However, Trump and others will repeatedly accuse Hillary Clinton of some sort of complicity in her husband’s alleged sexual abuse of various women. For example, Juanita Broaddrick said that after Bill Clinton raped her, she attended one of his political events and Hillary shook her hand and thanked her for her support in a way she interpreted as a veiled threat to keep her mouth shut.

This conflation of a person’s alleged behaviour with the behaviour of his/her spouse is ridiculously common in political discourse, and Trump will capitalize on allegations about Hillary Clinton’s husband throughout his campaign.

January – late October, 2016: There are few online allegations of Hillary Clinton being involved with human trafficking of any sort, much less Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrat trafficking. If anything, she is criticized for keeping vulnerable and desperate children out of the United States (see Karen Attiah’s scathing piece in the Washington Post for one example) and for defining sex trafficking so broadly as to include sex workers.

April 26, 2016: A federal lawsuit is filed in U.S. District Court in Riverdale, California. Katie Johnson v. Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey E. Epstein accuses Trump and Epstein of rape and other sexual assaults during the summer of 1994, when Johnson was 13 years old. Johnson is seeking $100 million in damages from the two men for violating her Civil Rights and “making her their sex slave.” The name “Katie Johnson” is a pseudonym.

The case draws almost zero attention. It is covered mostly by tabloids (the Daily Mail,  the Sunday Express, the NY Daily News)  and low-profile news sites (RADAR onlineWinning DemocratsAntiMedia.org).

April 28, 2016: Trump’s corporate attorney, Alan Garten, issues a denial of the “Katie Johnson” allegations, but adds the extremely bizarre comment that Trump’s legal team found no evidence that “the person who made these allegations” exists.

The same “nonexistent person” will file two more lawsuits against Trump and Epstein by the end of 2016. Jane Doe v. Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey E. Epstein will be filed in New York in June, and another Jane Doe v. Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey E. Epstein will be filed in New York in September (you can read some of the court docs for more info). “Katie” will also be photographed by the Daily Mail in November. And the Daily Mail will drag out her criminal record.

Whether Katie is telling the truth or not, she 100% exists and even a shit UK tabloid can ascertain that. Garten is a dolt. I can’t believe Trump hasn’t fired him.

May 13, 2016: Fox News reveals that Bill Clinton traveled on one of Jeffrey Epstein’s private planes 26 times between 2001 and 2003. Previous reports indicated he had only taken 10 or 11 flights. On 5 of these 26 flights, Clinton was not accompanied by his Secret Service detail.

Now it’s time to get technical. Every reference to Epstein’s private planes that you will ever see in the land of Pizzagate refers to them as just one plane dubbed the “Lolita Express.” But Epstein had two planes, a Gulfstream that he used to travel to St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands and a Boeing 747 that he used for overseas business. The trips Bill Clinton took were on the Boeing, and all of them were overseas junkets related to Clinton’s work, such as addressing AIDS and democracy in Africa. Go ahead and match up the flight logs to Clinton’s 2001-2003 speeches in New York, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Singapore, London, Antwerp, Norway, Moscow and Africa. I’ll wait. The only flights not related to speaking engagements were a 2002 visit to the Sultan of Brunei and a stopoff in the Azores en route to Africa.

The rumours of an “orgy bed” on Epstein’s Boeing? Never confirmed. There were sleeping accommodations (not that you would need any for mile-high shenanigans). Maybe Bill and Jerry did have some fun on their trips, but how the hell would you know, and why is it your business? Most of Epstein’s female companions were not minors.

The flight logs do not show Clinton aboard any of Epstein’s flights to Saint Thomas in the Virgin Islands. This means that if Clinton did go to the rumoured orgies on Epstein’s private island, Little St. James, he did so on his own steam.

Little St. James in the U.S. Virgin Islands, privately owned by Jeffrey “I Just Really Like Massages” Epstein

Also, many people visit Little St. James for scientific conferences dealing with cancer research, AI and an array of other fascinating and vitally important areas of study. So piss off with your “everybody who went there is a pedo.” And if some pervy creep wants to donate his money to good scientific causes, take it. He should contribute to society.

Hillary Clinton did not accompany her husband on any of the 26 flights her husband took on Epstein’s plane.

June 15, 2016: There are reports that Clement Freud, the late UK broadcaster (and grandson of the Freud) has been posthumously accused of sexually abusing his foster daughter and raping one other young woman. Freud died in 2009.

This excites police and media interest, because Clement owned a summer villa in Praia da Luz, Portugal, just 600 yards from the Ocean Club Resort where Madeleine McCann went missing in May 2007. He even hosted dinner for the McCanns on two occasions during the search for Madeleine.

Freud’s family, including his stunned widow, accept the rape allegations and apologize to the two accusers. They draw the line at the McCann disappearance, however. According to the family, he was in the UK at that time.

Clement’s name will surface in Pizzagate, as Pizzagaters try to connect the Podesta brothers to Madeleine McCann’s abduction.

June 19, 2016: The Daily Mail publishes a story headlined “Clement Freud drank with Maddie suspect Robert Murat in Praia da Luz bar – and his local pub was dubbed the Plough and Paedo.” In December, they will publish a full retraction and apology, writing, “In fact, Mr Murat, who was totally cleared of any involvement in the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, never met or had any connection with the alleged paedophile ex-MP. We are happy to make this clear and apologise to Mr. Murat for any suggestion he was involved in wrongdoing.”

The Podesta brothers will receive no such apologies from their accusers.

July 2, 2016: “FBIAnon”, an anonymous 4chan user claiming to be a “high-level analyst”, surfaces on 4chan’s /pol/ board for an AMA (Ask Me Anything) session [note: I’ve covered one other 4chan hoax on this blog, the hilarious Assphone Theory of the disappearance of Flight MH370].

FBIAnon’s stated goal is to leak information about the bureau’s investigation of Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server when she was Secretary of State, which has been ongoing for over a year. He/she also divulges details of crimes Hillary Clinton has supposedly committed, such as sharing with others Special Access Programs she wasn’t even supposed to possess. He/she states the FBI is under “intense pressure” to not recommend indictment. This is a clever thing to say. If Clinton is indicted, FBIAnon could be legit. If she isn’t indicted, then it means the FBI buckled to external pressures and dark forces are at work. You just can’t go wrong with a statement like this.

The rest of the Q & A meanders all over the place. FBIAnon praises the work of Jerome Corsi (the “Amero” guy, who currently works for Alex Jones), and lavishly compliments Russia (“more a paragon of freedom and nationalism than any other country”). He/she also spews racist shit (“Blacks are violent and generally impulsive, but they are not all bad. And they can be, for lack of a better term domesticated”) and goofy, anti-Semitic shit (George Soros is trying to “create a global government where all people intermingle and breed and become on people ruled by a racially pure Jewish race”).

But it’s what FBIAnon has to say about the Clintons and child sex rings that captivates 4chan. Urged to elaborate on that subject, he/she writes, “Sex rings are popular in all governments, but pedophilia is primarily in British parliament & Saudi Arabia, and that’s why HRC and BC love foreign donors so much. They get paid in children as well as money. Dig deep and you can find it. It will sicken you.” He urges readers to focus their attentions on the Clinton Foundation – its donors and its directors.

“If there is anything to gain from this, it is FOCUS ON THE CLINTON FOUNDATION. The media will over the next few weeks try to paint the e-mail scandal as the only scandal, and HRC may or may not get indicted. But if you keep pressing the foundation and do not let the questions or demands die, then the truth will out.

Follow the Foundation.”

This was in reference to the Justice Department’s brief, fruitless inquiry into the Clinton Foundation. Needless to say, people have been following the Foundation very closely in the run-up to the election, and they haven’t found much.

A couple of FBIAnon’s comments on “meme magic” will be particularly revealing, in light of later events:

Q: What’s your guys’ opinion on meme magic? Kekkism?

A. I am not religious, so I have no opinion on Kek. But meme magic is very real, in the sense that a thought large enough to gain traction with enough minds will manifest in external reality. That’s why confirmation bias works, and why Trump has used it to his advantage.

Q: So, meme magic is just fucking confirmation bias. Well that really takes the wind out of Kek.

A: Perceptions shape reality.

Indeed they do, fake FBI guy on 4chan. Indeed they do.

July 5, 2016: FBI Director James Comey announces that the FBI has completed its investigation into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server and is recommending to the State Department “that no charges are appropriate in this case.”

July 6, 2016: Fox news runs a story headlined “Billionaire Sex Offender Epstein Once Claimed He Co-founded Clinton Foundation.” The claim comes from a letter written by Epstein’s lawyers in 2007, during plea deal negotiations. In the letter, the lawyers state Epstein was part of the original group that conceived the Clinton Global Initiative.

This is never confirmed. And CGI is just one part of the Foundation, anyway (according to David Callahan of Inside Philanthropy, less than 10% of Foundation funds went to CGI as late as 2014).

July 7, 2016: In Dallas, Micah Johnson ambushes and kills five police officers and injures nine others, as well as two civilians. The ambush occurs at the end of a protest against the recent police killings of two black men (Alton Sterling in Louisiana and Philando Castile in Minnesota).

July 8, 2016: FBIAnon resurfaces on 4chan to answer more questions. He/she kicks off the Q & A by confirming that the Dallas incident was a false flag operation engineered to draw attention away from Hillary Clinton’s emails. And if you want to know any more than that, you’ll have to read the transcripts. I’m done with this douchemonkey.

July 10, 2016: After a night of drinking at a local sports bar, 27-year-old Democratic National Convention employee Seth Rich heads home to his apartment in the Bloomingdale neighbourhood of Washington, DC. At 4:20 AM, he is found alive and conscious  with multiple gunshot wounds, his body covered with defensive bruises. He dies in a nearby hospital a short time later.

Police surmise that this was a failed robbery, as there had been several robberies in the neighbourhood. However, there are no suspects and questions remain.

July 13, 2016: The clickbait conspiracy site What Does It Mean publishes a story about Seth Rich, claiming that “a somber Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) report circulating in the Kremlin today says that a top American Democratic Party staffer preparing to testify against Hillary Clinton was assassinated this past Sunday during a secret meeting in Washington D.C. he believed he was having with Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agents, but who turned out, instead, to be a ‘hit team’—and who, in turn, were captured yesterday after a running gun battle with US federal police forces just blocks from the White House.”

What Does It Mean is the website of “Sorcha Faal”, another entity we’ve covered on this blog (Faal put out the stupidest Michael Jackson death conspiracy theory of them all). Faal literally makes up silly shit and puts it on the website. Period.

The non-clickbait rumours about Rich’s murder are only slightly less goofy than this, though. Before Rich is even buried, the interwebs are afire with bullshit stories about him. He was the source of the DNC emails leak that Wikileaks published after his death, he had something to do with Hillary’s emails, etc. Julian Assange fanned the flames with coy hints that maaaaybe Rich was a Wikileaks source.

No one stops to wonder why a professional assassin would leave you alive and conscious on the street.

Rich will become something like the IT nerd version of JFK. Everyone has a theory, and there’s no way he was murdered by a stranger in one of the most murdery cities in America. At this point, it is impossible to extricate the tragic death of Seth Rich from Pizzagate. Not only is Hillary Clinton a Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrat, but she runs the shittiest murder squad in the DC metro area.

July 22, 2016:  WikiLeaks publishes a glut of hacked or leaked DNC emails (first published by DCLeaks in June). Some of them indicate that Democratic party leadership cunningly sank Bernie Sanders’ presidential campaign in order to secure a Hillary win.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz announces her resignation as chair of the DNC two days later, proving once again that Wikileaks wields tremendous political power.

August 2016: In his book Partners in Crime, Jerome Corsi (now employed by Alex Jones/Infowars) accuses both Clintons of using the Clinton Foundation as a “personal piggy bank.” At the time he wrote the book, this was the worst stuff Corsi – a professional conspiranoid – could find about the Foundation. Isn’t it peculiar that just two months after the book’s publication, Twitter users will discover that the Foundation is actually just a front for a child sex ring?

The Wall Street Journal and other publications criticize the perceived “pay-for-play” nature of the Foundation as well, echoing Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump, while David Callahan renders more pragmatic views on what the Foundation does and how politicians interact with donors.

August 9, 2016: Future professional Pizzagater David Seaman uploads a weird post to his financial blog on Huffington Post, “What Happened to Bitcoin and David Seaman?” In this post, Seaman addresses rumours (not specified) that have been circulating about him, and laments that one cannot address “every conspiracy theory or half-baked Reddit post about yourself once you become a public personality.”

Right you are, self-obsessed cryptocurrency dude.

He then goes on to chronicle all the ways in which various people, notably broadcaster Joe Rogan, supposedly screwed him over in 2016. He claims he was promised a regular guest spot on Rogan’s show, in which he would discuss the latest political scandals, only to be ghosted by Rogan as soon as Bitcoin took a plunge in value. He blames such betrayals for his “declining health.” He even shits on his parents at one point.

This incredibly bizarre post ends with the opinion that John McCain’s daughter is “fat, entitled, intellectually empty.”

Just think about this post for a second. Imagine that you want to catch up on the latest crytocurrency trends, and a buddy tells you, “Oh, hey, check out David Seaman’s Huffpo blog.” So you go there and find…whatever the hell this is. I mean, damn. Get yourself together, man.

August 29, 2016: David Seaman uploads a YouTube video about another betrayal…by HuffPo. He claims he has been summarily fired for posting a piece questioning the state of Hillary Clinton’s health.

He then gets ridiculous, telling his audience, “I’m doing this video also to say, I’m not suicidal right now. I am not a particularly clumsy person. I don’t own a car at the moment. So if I’m to slip in the shower over the next couple of days or something silly like that, you have to really employ probability and statistics here because I’m not a clumsy person, right, and I’m also not a depressed person right now.”

Thus begins Seaman’s descent into sitting at home drinking beer all day and concocting revenge plots (if he wasn’t at that stage already). At least, that’s the story you’ll hear from Pizzagaters and Seaman himself.

The truth is that Seaman continued to blog at Huffpo throughout 2016 and 2017. He was not fired. And he’s still alive.

October 10, 2016: What Does It Mean publishes a story claiming Israeli intelligence possesses a videotape of  Bill Clinton raping a 13-year-old girl. The author cites a “Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) report circulating in the Kremlin.” Supposedly, this videotape was made by the Clothing Shop Network, a shadowy Mossad operation that doesn’t actually exist. The operation’s main “organizer/facilitator” is the “international money man of mystery Jeffery Epstein [sic].”

This all rests on unconfirmed rumours that Epstein had some connection to the Mossad and/or was busted as the result of a Mossad frameup, rumours that are too silly to even address. For years, Epstein relied on young Florida women to procure even younger Florida women for him. The girls were told they were going to be paid to give Epstein massages (which was true some of the time). Epstein was not framed. His arrest was the result of a three-year investigation.

“Clothing Shop Network” is probably a reference to the fact that one of Epstein’s friends and business mentors, Leslie Wexford, is CEO of L Brands (the retailer behind Victoria’s Secret, La Senza and many other mall chains).

October 12, 2016: A pseudo-Anonymous (not affiliated with the semi-official Anonymous YouTube channel) releases a video echoing, almost verbatim, the make-believe What Does It Mean story. Israeli intelligence taped Bill Clinton raping a 13-year-old, Hillary Clinton was able to keep the video under wraps for years, yadda yadda.

The video then gets pretty weird. Fake Anonymous informs us that after learning her husband had been secretly videotaped with children, Hillary Clinton decided to run for president and “set up Donald Trump as a strawman Pied Piper opponent.” She chose Trump because he also knew Epstein, and would therefore go down in flames. However, unbeknownst to Clinton, Trump was clean; he was basically the only prominent person in the whole nation who refused to cavort with Epstein’s underage girls.

The official Anonymous website never publishes anything about this Bill Clinton video. However, official Anonymous videos hint throughout the month of October that Anonymous will be releasing an explosive October surprise of its own, and they critically analyze Clinton’s health and alleged terrorist ties.

October 28, 2016: FBI Director James Comey informs Congress he is reopening the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails. The reason: Emails of potential interest have been found on a computer belonging to disgraced former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner, the then-estranged husband of Clinton aide Huma Abedin.

Many Democrats consider this a dick move, an October surprise strategically timed to sabotage any shot Clinton had at the White House. But that’s a whole ‘nother conspiracy theory.

Oct. 29, 2016: On THEE Rant, a web forum for New York City police officers, someone with the username “Fatoldman” posts that he/she has a “hot rumor” about the reopened FBI investigation:

“[T]he feds were forced to reopen the hillary email case [because] apparently the NYPD sex crimes unit was involved in the weiner case. On his laptop they saw emails. [T]hey notified the FBI. Feds were afraid that NYPD would go public so they had to reopen or be accused of a coverup.”

Fatoldman’s extremely vague, unhelpful rumour (“they saw emails”) is promptly re-posted to a law enforcement group on Facebook.

It might have died there,  but then a mysterious (yet very popular) user called Eagle Wings tweets it.

Among Eagle Wings’ followers at the time are future deputy assistant to President Trump Sebastian Gorka and former national security adviser Gen. Michael Flynn, whose son’s later involvement in Pizzagate I have already mentioned in Part I.

Nobody seems to know who Eagle Wings actually is. Eagle Wings’ profile picture is of a middle-aged woman, and the caption beneath it is “USAF Vet believes Freedom Soars.” Rolling Stone consulted Samuel Woolley, a “leading expert in computational propaganda” and research director at the Institute for the Future’s Digital Intelligence Lab, for insight. Woolley examined Eagle Wings’ social media postings and concluded that “she” tweeted too frequently (more than 50,000 times since November 2015) to too many followers (120,000 as of November 2017) to be a solitary patriot; Eagle Wings is almost certainly a “highly automated account” and “part of a bot network” [note: the account is temporarily restricted as of this writing].

It doesn’t matter who or what Eagle Wings is, though, because her relatively innocuous message is about to be distorted beyond all recognition in an adult version of Telephone.

October 30, 2016 (about 10 hours after the “fatoldman” post on ThreeRant): Carmen Katz, a Facebook user based in Missouri, claims to have an NYPD source who told her the Weiner emails contain detailed information about the Clintons’ and Jeffrey Epstein’s involvement in an “International child enslavement and sex ring.” These emails – which never materialize – supposedly describe trips that the Clintons took on Epstein’s private plane [recall from the flight logs that Hillary wasn’t on the plane], and expand on Hillary’s “well documented predilection for underage girls.” (Rolling Stone later discovers that “Carmen Katz” may or may not be a sock puppet account created by an eccentric, conspiracy-minded lawyer living in Missouri).

Twitter user DavidGoldbergNY (true identity unknown) quickly backs up Katz’s post. His tweets suggest the Weiner emails are going to expose a child sex ring involving Hillary Clinton. DavidGoldbergNY cites NYPD rumours.

An anonymous Godlike Productions Forum user chimes in, claiming he/she also has inside information that a child sex/trafficking ring involving federal officials and the Clinton Foundation is about to about to be exposed.

November 1, 2016: The clickbait site Conservative Daily Post runs the story “Breaking: FBI confirms evidence of huge underground Clinton sex network,” in which it is claimed that an FBI source has revealed a “massive child trafficking and pedophile sex ring” in DC, “which they say was run directly with the Clinton Foundation as a front.”

SubjectPolitics.com runs a story with the headline “IT’S OVER: NYPD Just Raided Hillary’s Property! What They Found Will RUIN HER LIFE.” The photo that accompanies the story has nothing to do with a search of Hillary’s property, and there is no evidence that anyone searched Hillary’s property. The story is, in fact, fake news (a term Pizzagaters initially loathed, but now use to label anything that is critical of their research).

The website True Pundit publishes a story stating that the NYPD is investigating emails that link Hillary to money laundering, sex with children, and other crimes. They cite anonymous FBI and police sources.

Even though they are worthless, these stories are shared over and over again, giving the emerging “sex ring” rumour some legs.

DavidGoldbergNY crows that True Pundit has confirmed his October 30th tweet.

November 2, 2016:  The clickbait fake news site Christian Times Newspaper (not to be confused with the Christian Times) posts a wholly fabricated story about an NYPD investigation into allegations that Bill Clinton sexually abused girls ranging from 5-14 years of age. Again, anonymous NYPD sources are cited.

“Now, sources within the NYPD are saying their investigation has evolved to focus on Clinton exclusively after several of the emails found on disgraced former Congressman Anthony Wiener’s laptop implicate Clinton in an international child sex ring.”

November 3, 2016: In a video that has since been deleted, another pseudo-Anonymous unaffiliated with the official Anonymous YouTube channel announces that on November 5th, it will be releasing information that shows “who the real criminals are, and it’s something much darker than we thought.”

The culprits will include Bill and Hillary Clinton, the Clinton Foundation, and “21 individuals ranging from the DNC, FBI, CIA.”

“The new leaks being released this week will provide documents in the form of emails, pictures, and videos. Within these will be evidence of Bill Clinton, as well as at least 6 other Government officials, taking part in acts with minors. As well as evidence of Human trafficking that also included minors.

We believe these pictures and videos were taken for the purpose of political manipulation. In order to make sure all participants followed through on a previously agreed agenda.

These documents were given to us by an American Government official when he had come to learn that this crime had been covered up by Hilary and her staff through methods including bribery and blackmail. He also told us that due to the restricted access to these documents, they would soon know he was the one who released him to us.

We tried to make arrangements for him to exit the country safely, but he was killed before those arrangements could be carried out. We are still not sure if this is because they became aware of the leak, or if they were scared that he may in the future. In either case, his identity will be made public in this next set of leaks so that he can be honored for the hero that he was.”

Pseudo-Anonymous never releases the documents.

NOVEMBER 3-4, 2016: PIZZAGATE IS BORN

November 3: Wikileaks publishes volume 28 of the stolen Podesta emails.

One hour after volume 28 of the emails hits Wikileaks, the popular Twitter personality Jared Wyand becomes the first person to suggest that the copious references to food, particularly pizza, in the Podesta emails could actually be code words related to a pedo/trafficking ring.

Wyand tweets a list of “code words” related to pizza and other foods, urging other users to search for those words in the Podesta emails. It’s not clear where he got these code words within one hour, but Jared Wyand makes a grandiose statement that becomes a war cry for thousands: “We are uncovering a child sex ring.” We’ll discuss the code words, and Wyand’s rapid decline, in Part IV of this post.

People obediently begin searching for hints of human trafficking activity in the Podesta emails leaked by Wikileaks. They don’t find anything that directly references human trafficking (or any criminal activity, for that matter), but they do find the code words.

Project Astral” is the first Reddit user to make hay with the “Spirit Cooking” done by Podesta’s artist friend, Marina Abramović. He/she claims there is a connection between Spirit Cooking and the occult, specifically Thelema and its Cakes of Light. A blog post later attempts to explain the logic behind this connection.

The alt media immediately pounces on Spirit Cooking. The Drudge Report, Alex Jones/Infowars and Mike Cernovich all point out how creepy it is, presenting it as a debauched and sinister activity with heavy-duty occult connections. Wikileaks even retweets a Change.org message about Spirit Cooking.

Reddit user “Pleading the Yiff” claims to discover a link between Hillary Clinton and Laura Silsby, an American woman jailed for possible child trafficking after the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. He titles his post “BREAKING: I believe I have connected a convicted child abductor who was caught stealing children in Haiti with the Clintons.” It is posted to the /r/The_Donald subreddit.

A short time later, WikiLeaks’ Twitter account tweets “Significant, if partisan, find showing how the Clintons supported child stealer Laura Silsby,” then links to Pleading the Yiff’s Reddit post. We’ll examine the “Silsby connection” in Part IV.

Mike Cernovich publishes a post on his blog stating that some of the Podesta emails point to occult practices and human trafficking:  “Podesta Spirit Cooking Emails Reveal Clinton’s Inner Circle as Sex Cult with Connections to Human Trafficking.”  He writes that “we should focus less on Clinton Cash style corruption and more on the Clinton Foundation’s sale of children to Saudi pedophiles.”

In other online posts and in a series of Periscope videos, Cernovich promotes the notion of a massive criminal conspiracy involving both Clintons and other prominent Democrats. This is right after the code words have been tweeted by Jared Wyand, so nothing pizza- or pasta-related is mentioned. Pizzagate hasn’t fully evolved yet. Interestingly, though, Cernovich mentions the Laura Silsby-related emails that Reddit user “Pleading the Yiff” claimed to “discover” a very short time earlier, showing just how rapidly information spread in the early days of Pizzagate. 

Note that the approach taken by Wyand and Cernovich is much different from that taken by the previous posters and tweeters. In the earliest days of Pizzagate, shadowy law enforcement sources and secret police investigations were always mentioned. Wyand and Cernovich, on the other hand, are among the first people to say, “Let’s investigate this ourselves”, implying that law enforcement couldn’t or wouldn’t do anything to halt the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrat juggernaut.

I don’t know precisely where Cernovich got his notion of Saudi pedophiles buying American children, but I will point out that the image of insanely wealthy, lecherous Arab men purchasing young, white women for their harems is a positively ancient trope. It played a key role in the “white slavery” panics that arose in the mid-nineteenth century and continued all the way through WWI. Throughout America and much of Europe, girls and their parents were warned of immigrants and criminal gangs that could drug unsuspecting teens, scoop them from the streets, and ship them off to the Middle East to be sold at auction to leering sheiks. Hell, Rudolph Valentino built a career on this.

Soon, there will be rumours that every single business on Connecticut Avenue, including Comet Ping Pong, is owned by Saudis. The notion that Saudi nationals are behind everything from Pizzagate to the recent Vegas shooting is extremely popular among Pizzagaters, and conspiracy theorists in general.

Meanwhile, the online Sherlocks conclude that some of Washington’s most prominent citizens could walk into  certain establishments and simply “order” young children off the menu for sex, using the code words. Why else would people email so incessantly about food? The first food-related reference to gain a lot of attention was the sentence “I’m dreaming about your hotdog stand in Hawaii…”, but the narrative quickly centres itself around pizza. The investigators begin using the hashtag #pizzagate on social media.

Discovering that John Podesta and his brother Anthony frequent Comet Ping Pong, the citizen investigators decide this restaurant must be the hub of the pedo/trafficking activity in DC.

Here is one of the earliest subreddit posts to link Podesta and family to the restaurant:

“Comet Pizza is a pizza place owned by James Alefantis, who is the former gay boyfriend of David Brock, the CEO of Correct The Record. It has been the venue for dozens of events for the Hillary campaign staff. John Podesta has had campaign fundraisers there for both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. John’s brother and business partner Tony Podesta has his birthday party there every year.” 

The investigators begin mining the current owner’s Twitter and Instagram accounts, as well as the restaurant’s menu, for codewords and clues. We’ll examine all the evidence they unearthed in Part IV.

November 4, 2016: Douglas Hagmann, a conspiranoid broadcaster, goes on The Alex Jones Show to discuss Pizzagate. Hagmann claims  he has sources inside the NYPD who are actively investigating the pedo ring, and those sources showed him evidence that included graphic photos. He produces a photo of a nude minor (censored from the video, of course) that he claims was discovered on Anthony’s Weiner’s phone. Why the fuck would Hagmann have this? Think about that. If the NYPD was handing out child porn to radio hosts, we should be concerned.

November 7, 2016: An /r/pizzagate subreddit is formed and rapidly mushrooms to 20,000 subscribers.

November 8, 2018: Donald Trump is elected as the 47th President of the United States. This delights most Pizzagaters on a number of levels, but what they’re most fervently hoping is that Trump and/or Putin will soon swoop in and arrest all the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats now that the Kenyan Guy is out of the way.

November 13, 2016: Monica Petersen, a Research Fellow and Assistant Director at the Human Trafficking Center, reportedly commits suicide in Haiti. Within three days of this young woman’s tragic death, Pizzagaters are haranguing the Center for information about her and accusing Hillary Clinton of having her murdered. Later in this series, we’ll look more closely at the Petersen case and the Pizzagate Body Count.

Mid-November 2016: David Seaman begins uploading videos about Pizzagate, and quickly becomes one of the most vocal Pizzagaters (if not the most productive). A Pizzagater named George Webb also begins posting videos (over 1200 to date) around this time, documenting his citizen investigation of the Clinton Foundation, the deaths of Seth Rich and Monica Petersen, etc.

Pizzagaters hurl a barrage of harassment at Comet employees, performers who have had gigs at Comet, artists with work on display at Comet, etc. Alefantis lays out thousands of dollars to beef up security at his restaurants. Other Connecticut Avenue businesses are also targeted for their supposed use of “pedo symbols” on their websites and signage.

Rumours fly of a tunnel system beneath Comet, a basement “kill room” and other secret spaces used by the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats to imprison, abuse and perhaps even eat their child victims.

The Pizzagate hypothesis blooms like black mold all over Reddit, Voat, Steemit, 4chan, YouTube, Twitter and its racist shadow Gab, alt-right/white supremacist sites, far-right alt news sites, and of course the clickbait sites. What human Pizzagaters don’t do, bots and foreign fake news factories do for them (Turkey and Russia are the most active countries in amplifying Pizzagate-related “news”).

November 16, 2016: Professional Twitterdouche Jack Posobiec goes to Comet to investigate and livestreams his investigation to Periscope. He finds a lot of people eating pizza and a children’s birthday party. He is asked to leave. Pizzagaters respond to this 18-minute waste of time like it’s a 60 Minutes exposé.

November 18, 2016: Yournewswire.com, another clickbait “news” site (run by Sean Adl-Tabatabai), posts a story with the headline “FBI: Rumors About Clinton Pedophile Ring Are True.” The story cites only one source: FBIAnon, the 4chan user who mentioned pedo rings back in July. Yournewswire becomes one of the prime sources of information for Pizzagaters, but its stories don’t become any more factual.

I think it goes without saying that the FBI was not interested in Pizzagate. You can’t investigate “this guy mentions food too often in his emails.”

November 23, 2016: Alarmed by all the doxing of Pizzagate suspects that is occurring at /r/pizzagate in spite of a warning to users not to post private information, Reddit shuts down the subreddit. Naturally, this leads to cries of censorship, cover-up, political persecution, yadda yadda. Some Pizzagaters (inaccurately) declare the ban to be the largest in Reddit’s history. However, the Pizzagaters immediately move over to Voat, Steemit and numerous other social media platforms and continue their investigation without interference.

A lot of up-and-coming alt-right commentators – as well as the old salts of conspiranoia culture –  use Pizzagate to punch up their Twitter feeds, drive traffic to their YouTube channels, and get their names out there. Then, when they begin to realize there are meatspace implications to making human trafficking allegations against strangers, some of them start to gently disengage themselves from the core allegations. Others double down.

November 21, 2016: The New York Times publishes the first major debunking of Pizzagate. But like I said in Part I, you can’t debunk something that’s so fact-free in the first place.

Early December 2016: Alarmed and driven to action by all the online Pizzagate “news” he’s seeing, Edgar Welch drives 260 miles from his home near Durham, North Carolina to DC to investigate Comet Ping Pong. He brings with him an AR-15 rifle and two other guns. En route, he records a farewell message to his family.

December 4, 2016: Alex Jones’ InfoWars website posts a YouTube video titled “Haiti PIZZAGATE: Death of Child Trafficking Investigator.” It claims Monica Petersen “had just begun investigating the correlation regarding the Clinton Foundation’s Caracol Industrial Park Complex and its connection to a human trafficking network when her life was cut short.”

All of these statements will turn out to be incorrect. Petersen was very active in raising awareness about human trafficking, but her primary focus was on labor trafficking involving adult men and women. She had even expressed some annoyance at the fact that labour trafficking, which is rampant, does not receive the same amount of public concern and attention that sex trafficking attracts. The Clinton Foundation connection that Jones mentions was posted by one of Petersen’s friends on Facebook. Petersen was not in Haiti to investigate anything. She had voiced intentions to set up an NGO there.

December 4, 2016: Edgar Welch walks into Comet Ping Pong armed with a .38-caliber Colt revolver, his Colt AR-15 rifle strapped across his chest. He aims the rifle at an employee. The employee flees and phones police. Welch pokes around the restaurant a bit, finds nothing of interest, then discharges his weapon three times. He is promptly arrested by DC police.

After the shooting, Alex Jones defends Pizzagate researchers and urges them to carry on their important work.

December 6, 2016: The Washington Post publishes its first story about Pizzagate and the Welch shooting.

December 13, 2016: Alex Jones takes the unprecedented measure of scrubbing some of his videos and articles about Pizzagate from Infowars and related websites, evidently concerned that he will be one of the conspiranoids linked to the shooting.  In the past, he has shrugged off similar allegations. Now, however, he has more mainstream support and attention thanks to Donald Trump being a guest on his program in late 2015. He can’t take the risks he used to take.

Now that he actually likes a U.S. president-elect and has his ear, Jones eases back on the New World Order a tad and resorts to sobbing over genetically-modified fishpeople in Europe.

Early 2017: Not content to speculate about Hillary Clinton having Parkinson’s, a few Pizzagaters propose that she has Kuru, the “cannibal disease”, from the ritual consumption of bodily fluids and/or children during Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrat ceremonies or whatever.

January 17, 2017: Benn Swann, a reporter for Atlanta CBS affiliate WGCL-TV who can’t pass a conspiracy theory without fapping all over it, devotes one of his “Reality Check” segments to Pizzagate. It’s titled “Is Pizzagate ‘Fake News’ or Has It Just Not Been Officially Investigated?” That’s some false dichotomy, right thurr.

Swann claims he has spent a month investigating Pizzagate, yet brings nothing new to the table. He covers all the same “Isn’t this strange?” details that all Pizzagaters now trot out: the Podesta Code and the “disturbing art”, photos of kids on Instagram. He does not even attempt to explain how or why DC police should begin investigating John Podesta’s use of the word “walnuts” or why the owner of Besta Pizza uses a triangle shape on his menus.

This is just Swann being Swann. In every “Reality Check”, he regurgitates months-old conspiracy fodder and poses disingenuous questions about it. The entire concept for the segments seems to be “Stuff I Find on Reddit Looks Better In a Tie.”

Just like Michael Flynn, Swann pays a price for his dumbfuckery. WGCL-TV temporarily suspends him, and his social media accounts vanish. This is more than a little unfair, since it was the station bosses who greenlighted his segment, but whatever. Swann will return to the air, minus Reality Check, only to be fired for trying to independently produce Reality Check without his bosses’ knowledge.

January 20, 2017: Inauguration day.

A handful of religious protestors show up outside Comet to shout racist, anti-Muslim, and anti-LGTBQ phrases. Because, the children?

February 24, 2017: In another unprecedented move, Alex Jones uploads a video in which he qualifies some of the statements he and his guests have made about Pizzagate, trying to persuade his viewers that he was never really interested in the first place.

“I kind of picked up when the Washington Post, New York Times, all of them said – when I wasn’t even covering it – everybody says a pizza place is doing this to kids. And I was like, we never covered it. A pizza place? And I went, whoa, they’re in the news diverting us from all this other big stuff.”

Nice try, Angry Cashew. As I’ve already noted in this timeline, the Post ran its first Pizzagate story on December 6, a full month after Jones & Co. hopped on the pizza wagon. The Times ran its first piece on November 21, over two weeks after Jones uploaded his first Pizzagate video.

As soon as he distances himself, however, Jones jumps right back in. “I don’t think Alefantis over there, or any of those people in DC at that pizza place where Podesta goes – even though they’ve got weird acts there that people are like, ‘We like kids. That’s our preference. Yeah, we love kids.’ I don’t know what the hell that is. There’s a lot of weird crap going on.”

His “we love kids” comment is a reference to a cell phone video taken in the back room of Comet, which we’ll examine along with the other evidence in Part IV.

March 24, 2017: Edgar Welch pleads guilty to federal weapons charges. He is contrite and open about his storming of Comet Ping Pong, yet Pizzagaters insist he must have been a “crisis actor” or blackmailed patsy sent into the restaurant to discredit their incredibly fruitful investigation and protect the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats.

March 25, 2017: Alex Jones uploads a second video apology for previous Pizzagate comments. However, he refers only to the comments that related directly to Comet Ping Pong and James Alefantis and speaks in a stiff, unconvincing manner markedly different from his usual HOLYSHIT PEOPLE THEY’RE KILLING US WITH CHEMICALS style, making it comically obvious that Alefantis’s lawyers have contacted him. As it turns out, that’s precisely what happened. Alefantis was not impressed with Jones’ bullshit “apology” of February 24, and demanded a real retraction.

Also on this day, the first official Pizzagate protest occurs. Roughly 50 protestors assemble in Lafayette Square with Pizzagate T-shirts and protest signs to insist that Pizzagate is not fake news and must be investigated by law enforcement. One couple shows up with their kids in tow, all sporting “#Pizzagate” T-shirts. The event is organized by Neil Wolfe and another young Pizzagater. It is heavily promoted by David Seaman. Unlike the hateful fucks that showed up outside Comet on Trump’s inauguration day, these people express genuine concern for the welfare of children and are baffled at the public’s lack of concern. A few identify themselves as survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

May 18, 2017: After a concert in Detroit, Soundgarden singer Chris Cornell hangs himself in his hotel room.

Later that day, the Wayne County Medical Examiner’s Office confims that his death was the result of suicide.

20 July 2017: Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington hangs himself in his home near Los Angeles.

21 July, 2017: The L.A. County Coroner’s Office confirms that Bennington’s death was the result of suicide.

Later in the day, the ultra-fake “news” site YourNewsWire (now a fave of Pizzagaters) posts a story reporting that Chester Bennington  was murdered in similar fashion to his friend, Chris Cornell, and police are investigating his death as a homicide in spite of the judgment of suicide.

The two men had been friends, and copycat suicides are not uncommon in circles of friends.

Within two days of Bennington’s death, Pizzagaters are pointing out his resemblance to John Podesta (which doesn’t go far past “same haircut and glasses”) and trying to prove that he might be Podesta’s son. They are also claiming that Bennington and Cornell were about to reveal “something big” about celebrity pedophiles.

Chester’s not his son, doy. They’re just played by the same crisis actor.

And this is where the timeline shall end. It’s not that things haven’t happened in the year since Wolfe’s “march on the White House.” It’s just that nothing new has happened. Pizzagaters still rely on the code words, anonymous 4chan “insiders”, clickbait headlines, their own interpretations of various works of art and music videos, etc.

Pizzagate and related faux scandals are now being shared with the hashtags “follow the white rabbit” and “the storm is coming” (a reference to a cryptic comment dropped by Trump during an October 15, 2017, speech).

Many of the tweets that use the White Rabbit hashtag also reference #QAnon or simply Q. What is that? Or, more accurately, who is it? On October 28, 2017, someone identifying only as “Q” began posting a string of mysterious messages to a 4chan /pol/ thread titled “Calm Before the Storm.” Q is supposedly a government insider with Q clearance leaking information about Trump’s super-secret plan to launch a counterattack on the Deep State entities that are supposedly trying to unseat him.  So he’s the new FBIAnon, basically, only with a security clearance.

Q made a few references to Alice in Wonderland, which inspired the White Rabbit hashtag. We all know how much these gray suit types love to quote children’s literature and/or The Matrix, right? Remember when Mark Felt wanted to be called Mr. Toad, but Bernstein insisted on Deep Throat?

QAnon is the hot new girl in town, but in Facebook groups and Voat threads, the ground troops of Pizzagate still search for hard evidence of child molestation and trafficking. You know, like pizza emojis.

As I write this in early 2018, Pizzagaters are mobbing up on model/TV show host Christine Teigen, analyzing her social media accounts for incriminating child-molesting stuff. Apparently, this began when Teigen posted photos of her 1-year-old daughter’s 2017 Halloween costumes: Alice in Wonderland and a hot dog. Then she tweeted something about “pedolite” not tasting very good. This was clearly a reference to the infant hydration formula Pedialyte, designed for sick infants, which has become a trendy hangover cure among celebs and their wannabes.

But in the eyes of Pizzagaters, it’s solid evidence that Teigen is somehow involved with the Pizza Ring. When her husband, singer John Legend, warned professional Pizzagater/”journalist” Liz Crokin to cease her verbal attacks on his family or face a lawsuit, Crokin snapped back that Legend and Teigen are affiliated with people she suspects of being in the Pizza Ring, in a weak attempt to justify her behaviour. In Pizzagate land, it’s a crime just to know people who might be involved with some criminal enterprise that might exist (even though there’s no real evidence of it).

Oprah also came under immediate heavy fire from Pizzagaters after her 2018 Golden Globes address, in which she (along with everybody else on the planet) denounced sexual harassment in the entertainment industry and praised women who have come forward with allegations after years of silence.

You would think that Pizzagaters would wholeheartedly support this message, but they didn’t. That’s because the professional-grade speech Oprah gave sparked rumours that she is planning to run for the presidency. That is pure speculation on the part of the media, yet Pizzagaters are zooming ahead to the conclusion that Oprah will run and must be stopped. So, they’re crafting stories that Oprah was a procurer for Harvey Weinstein, tricking young starlets into meeting with him and essentially grooming them for sexual exploitation. There have been no such real-life allegations against Oprah, and the stories being shared in Pizzagate forums are clickbait garbage juice.

One fake article declares that actress Kadian Noble has publicly accused Oprah of working with Weinstein to ensnare her for an alleged 2014 sexual assault, but Noble has not said any such thing.

One widely-shared photo of actress/singer Rita Ora shows Weinstein leaning over her as she sits with Oprah; this is presented as evidence that Oprah delivered young, vulnerable females to Weinstein, and Ora is characterized as a wide-eyed child. In reality, Ora is a self-confident, mature woman who has spoken out against Weinstein’s sexually predatory behaviour towards her. Like Noble, she has not mentioned Oprah.

As you can see, Pizzagaters are still cranking out the memes. Perhaps one of the most baffling “Pedogate” images is a photo of Steven Spielberg posing with child stars Drew Barrymore and Heather O’Rourke. The only text on the image is “ASK STEVEN WHAT HAPPENED TO HEATHER.” Various threads on Voat attempt to prove to you that Spielberg is a child molester, citing comments made by Crispin Glover and allegations made by one Dean Henry, as well as a blog that appears to be written by someone who considers Michael Jackson a messiah.

I will only address the Glover thing. First of all, Glover hates Spielberg and sued him for using his image without his consent in Back to the Future II (a good move, frankly). Secondly, the “allegation” that Pizzagaters quote is actually just an excerpt from a satirical/rhetorical series of questions that Glover posed in connection with his art film What Is It? Thirdly, and definitely most importantly in the context of Pizzagate, Glover is the proud owner of a painting that depicts a fully nude, prepubescent Shirley Temple tricked out in Nazi accessories, holding a bullwhip against her genitals. He purchased this when Shirley Temple Black was still alive, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t ask her permission to use her image before he allowed publishers to reprint the painting.

A Steemit thread suggests that Heather O’Rourke may have been murdered as part of a “Pedogate coverup.” The author got his info from a blind item by popular “inside scoop” Hollywood blogger ENT LAWYER, whose single anonymous source clams that Heather O’Rourke died not from septic shock brought on by a bowel obstruction, but as a result of a sexual assault on the set of a TV series, Rocky Road. The source is supposedly a woman who was about 12 at the time of Heather’s death and was working as an actress on the same set. There is speculation that this source is Devon Odessa, a former child actress who appeared in Rocky Road.

This story doesn’t work. O’Rourke was very sick the day before her death (February 1, 1988), and had been sick for the month prior to her death. She would not have been filming. Even if she had been filming and the septic shock was caused from an assault-related injury inflicted in late January, death probably would have been faster. She would not have lingered for two days. The cause of her death is well-documented and even formed the basis of a lawsuit filed against her doctors by her mother.

Common sense and facts won’t stop the pizzaroller, though. Hundreds of thousands of people all over the world remain dedicated to rooting out the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats among us, and when the standards of evidence are so low, there’s a lot to find.

So now you have a fairly good overview of  some of the key personalities and events of Pizzagate and its clones, Pedogate and “The Storm.” Maybe you’ve also read Buzzfeed‘s timeline, or the Washington Post‘s takedown, or the more recent Rolling Stone article. But if you’re not in the trenches, there’s some stuff you probably don’t know about Pizzagate.

 

Part III
Some Stuff You Probably Don’t Know About Pizzagate

 

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Pizzagate: Attack of the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats

PART I: Overview

The 411 and the Major Playersuntitled-1Hans and I are back after a two-year hiatus, and we have been eating a lot of pizza lately. Why can’t the global elite operate their child trafficking rings out of juiceterias? #smoothiegate

Fifteen months have passed since Pizzagate first blew up all over social media, and most sources critical of Pizzagate use the past tense, telling you that Pizzagate was a theory that emerged during the 2016 presidential race, that people believed Hillary Clinton was involved in a vast child-trafficking network centred around casual dining in Washington, DC., etc.

Don’t be fooled. Pizzagate is still here, and Pizzagate will always be here. It is part of us now. For decades to come, it’s going to serve as another example of things They got away with doing under our noses. It will contribute to outbursts from citizens outraged by how evil the world has become. It will cause tears and heartbreak to Facebook users who can’t stop thinking about the terrified, vulnerable children locked up in freezers beneath bistros. Calling Pizzagate “debunked”, “discredited”, “fake” or “unfounded” isn’t going to change its real-world impact at all.

So let’s deal with it.

Before we dive in, let’s get one thing straight: I don’t care how you feel about Pizzagate. I don’t care what your instincts are telling you. I don’t care what your political affiliation is. We are going to deal primarily with the straight facts of this matter – the artwork, the tweets, etc.

Lurking in forums and social media groups over the past year, we have seen hundreds of pages of information related to the occult, weird art, human trafficking, pedophilia, and arcane symbology. What haven’t we seen? Evidence that you can take to the bank. In fact, there is so little concrete evidence here that Pizzagate can’t even be classified as a conspiracy theory at this point. It’s more like a conspiracy hypothesis. Once you dig past the hoaxes, misinformation, and irrelevant material, you’re left with little more than, “Wow, the Podesta brothers really like food.”

This isn’t anything like the “Franklin cover-up” quagmire, which is dense with accusations and counter-accusations, lawsuits and confessions. Here, the evidence is so thinly layered that you hit bedrock almost as soon as you start digging.

“Is this all there is?” you ask.

“Connect the dots,” the Pizzagaters urge. “Wake up.”

So why am I even bothering with this topic at such a late date? Well, first of all, Pizzagate became a global phenomenon, and its core claims are certainly serious enough to warrant scrutiny. Secondly, the formation and dizzying growth of the Pizzagate hypothesis is a fascinating, convoluted tale that tells us a great deal about ourselves: our history, our weaknesses, our information culture. Thirdly, Pizzagate is history. It overlaps with one of the strangest political atmospheres in U.S. memory, as well as the emergence of peculiar neo-nativist movements and ugly sexual scandals, both real and imagined.

Most importantly, Pizzagate has not really been examined in a concise, critical manner. Snopes took a shot, but kept it very brief as per their short-form debunking style. Saying “Comet Ping-Pong doesn’t have a basement” is not enough anymore. BuzzFeed and Rolling Stone zeroed in on how Pizzagate began and how misinfo was disseminated by bots and Twitter patriots, without discussing the actual hypothesis itself in any depth. The Washingon Post has run several stories focusing on the weirdity of Pizzagate, as though it’s a singular event in the history of American conspiranoia (it’s not). The New York Times assembled a decent overview, but couldn’t get into too many details.

In this series, I’m going to give you a detailed timeline of events,  show you historical parallels to Pizzagate hysteria that will put it into some context, and expose how a few obscure players manipulated us into being suspicious of mundane things. We’re going to examine the Pizzagate body count, the strangest sub-theories and virtually every smoking gun that has been presented by the Pizzagate community. I’ll even teach you how to become a Pizzagate investigator.

The 411

If you’re not familiar with Pizzagate, here’s the crux: According to many Internet denizens, a handful of code words in the leaked John Podesta emails have revealed the existence of an international child trafficking/prostitution ring made up of Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats.

This hypothetical “Pizza Ring”, as I’ll call it, is headquartered in or near a popular D.C. pizzeria called Comet Ping Pong, owned and operated by one James Alefantis. This popular Connecticut Avenue eatery, opened in 2006, regularly hosts musical performances and political fundraisers. It has a laid-back, hipstery vibe, with a room full of ping-pong tables and local art covering the walls (you’ll be reading a lot more about that). “Comet”, as it’s often called, was featured on an episode of the Food Network show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives in 2013.

The child slaves are supposedly brought to this location via a network of tunnels beneath the pizzeria, and may be held or abused in the basement of the restaurant. Some of the children are ritually sacrificed and/or consumed, because the Pizza Ring is part of a worldwide cult that does that sort of thing.

And they would’ve gotten away it with, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling Twitter users.

Thousands of people all over the world are now taking part in a crowdsourced citizen investigation of the Pizza Ring. Let’s call these investigators “Pizzagaters.” They have linked Pizzagate to alleged child trafficking in Haiti, several murders and suspicious deaths, and even sports injuries. Celebrity Pizzagaters include Roseanne Barr, James Woods and Kanye West.

Although it’s just a little over a year old, the Pizzagate hypothesis has already had real-world consequences:

  • A Trump transition team member probably lost his job over a Pizzagate-related Tweet. Trump loves his conspiracy theories, but it seems Pizzagate is a line in the sand for him. Michael Flynn, Jr. tweeted the following on November 2, 2017:pizzagate-michael-flynn-tweet“I want him fired immediately,” Trump reportedly declared. And that’s precisely what happened. Furthermore, the incident may have helped drive a wedge between Trump and Michael Flynn’s father, White House national security adviser Gen. Michael Flynn. We all know how that ended.
    Michael, Jr. is about as sharp as an egg. Last year, he used the hashtag #MuslimBan to discuss Trump’s executive order restricting immigration from several Muslim-majority, high-conflict nations. The administration obviously wasn’t keen to see this order characterized as a “Muslim ban”, so this time both Flynns deleted their Twitter accounts.
  • On December 4, 2016, a young man named Edgar Welch tried to intimidate the business owner, staff and patrons of Comet Ping Pong by firing a weapon three times in the restaurant. He said he was merely “investigating.” Most Pizzagaters insist this was a false flag incident staged by someone-or-other to rally public support for the Pizza Ring and shut down the citizen investigation. Welch originally entered a plea of not guilty, but later took  a plea deal. He is currently serving a four-year prison sentence for interstate transportation of a firearm and assault with a dangerous weapon.
  • D.C. police devoted manpower and resources to the shooting incident, threats made against business owners, and some of the allegations made online. The FBI’s Russian probe also investigated aspects of the allegations.
  • Internet broadcaster Alex Jones apologized for certain comments, for perhaps the first time ever, after he and a guest made weird and insupportable allegations against people around the time of the shooting incident. This “apology” was the direct result of threats of legal action. Currently, singer John Legend is also threatening legal action against Pizzagaters for claiming that he and his wife could be part of the Pizza Ring. Celebrities and politicians have long ignored the wackier conspiracy theories that adhere to them. Now that the fringe has gone mainstream, they can’t afford to do that. They’re fighting back and forcing alternative media to be more accountable for what they put out there.
  • Business owners and employees, friends and neighbours of the “suspects” and numerous artists have been harassed and slandered by people who think they must be Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats.
  • According to some, Pizzagate investigators fell victim to the “largest ban in the history of Reddit.” We’ll examine this claim later.
  • Law & Order: SVU based an episode entitled “Real Fake News” on Pizzagate, portraying the conspiracy theory as a plot cooked up by Russia to undermine the U.S and disgrace a Congressman. This is the only exposure to Pizzagate that many Americans have had, so it shouldn’t be taken lightly.
  • Hillary Clinton has made hay of it, even mentioning it in a commencement address.

Some Pizzagaters claim to have moved beyond the narrow confines of the Pizza Ring hypothesis, and prefer the term “Pedogate.” Bizarrely, though, highly specific allegations of sexual misconduct (such as those against senate candidate Roy Moore) don’t seem to bother them as much as sketchy rumours of possible sexual misconduct.

Dramatis Personae: The Accused

For this lineup, I’ve used memes actually shared in Pizzagate online communities. These images in no way reflect my personal attitudes or beliefs. I include them here as examples of how vicious, absurd and childish some of the Pizzagate accusations are. 

Keep in mind that these are definitely not the only people to be accused by Pizzagaters. They’re just the major players.

Marina Abramović, 71: A world-renowned performance artist who is friends with John Podesta and his brother, Anthony. She is perhaps best-known for her performance pieces entitled The Artist is Present, in which she sits silently in a chair while people say and do anything at all to her. But it was her quirky Spirit Cooking pieces that led Pizzagaters to the conclusion that the Podestas might be Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats. As we’ll see, the misrepresentations of Spirit Cooking as an occult ritual were crafted by alt media outlets.
Like most performance artists, Abramović has deliberately cultivated an unsettling, offbeat persona. She wears upside-down crosses, dyes her hair raven-black, and poses with goat horns, giving her a sort of posh Morticia Addams vibe.
Abramović has no criminal record and has never been implicated in a sex scandal.

James Alefantis, 43: Not only is Alefantis the owner of the restaurant at the centre of Pizzagate, he is an ex-boyfriend of David Brock, the founder of both Media Matters for America and the pro-Clinton super PAC Correct the Record (Alefantis and Brock dated c. 2007-2013). I mention this only because Pizzagaters bring it up continuously.
In 2009, Alefantis became the sole owner of both Comet and another Connecticut Avenue restaurant called Buck’s Fishing & Camping when co-owner/chef Carole Greenwood left the industry.
He has produced independent films and is extremely active in the D.C. arts scene.
He is a registered and active Democrat.
Alefantis’s various activities earned him the #49 spot in GQ‘s list of the 50 Most Influential People in D.C. back in 2012. A lot of Pizzagaters think this is weird, but there is one other restauranteur and a trio of party planners on the same list. GQ described Alefantis as a local bon vivant. 
Alefantis has no criminal record and has never been implicated in a sex scandal. Unless that thing with Brock’s other ex-boyfriend counts.

Hillary Clinton, 69: I don’t think this lady needs an introduction. Though she is not referenced in any of the “incriminating” Podesta emails, she is obviously thick as thieves with John Podesta (chairman of her 2016 presidential campaign). Clinton has no criminal record, but has been implicated as some sort of accessory-after-the-fact in several sexual assaults allegedly committed by her husband, and sundry other scandals. She has also been characterized as a lizard-woman, a closet lesbian, and a serial murderer who knows how to disguise assassinations as suicides.

[The artwork above is by Holocaust denier David Dees. I have written about Dees at Leaving Alex Jonestown.]

Jeffrey Epstein, 64: A wildly successful, deeply secretive financier and billionaire who split his time between New York, Florida, New Mexico, the Virgin Islands, and France. Like Clinton, Epstein doesn’t appear in any of the Pizzagate-related emails, but he was friendly with Bill Clinton. He is also friends with Prince Andrew, Alan Dershowitz, and thousands of other people.
Epstein is the only major Pizzagate figure with a criminal record. In 2008, after a three-year investigation by Palm Beach police, he was convicted of soliciting an underage female prostitute. Numerous young women have accused him of paying them for sexual favours and/or sexually molesting them when they were as young as 14, though no criminal charges have been laid in relation to those allegations.

John Podesta, 68: Podesta is a major Democratic player. He served as chief of staff to President Clinton and Counselor to President Barack Obama before becoming chairman of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 presidential campaign. He serves on more boards and councils than you can possibly imagine.
In March 2016, he fell prey to a phishing scam that gave unidentified hackers access to his Gmail account. Wikileaks subsequently obtained these emails and published them online in 28 batches, or volumes, between October 7 and November 4, 2016. A small number of these emails form the dark nucleus of Pizzagate.
Podesta has no criminal record and has never been implicated in a sex scandal.

Anthony Podesta, 73: John Podesta’s only sibling, and a heavy political hitter in his own right, Tony Podesta is a veteran D.C. lobbyist and art collector.

Podesta has no criminal record and has never been implicated in a sex scandal. He did step down from his position at the Podesta Group lobbying firm as a result of the FBI investigation into possible Russian tampering in the presidential election, and the Podesta Group shut down in late 2017.

Anthony Weiner, 52: Congressman who seemed to spend most of his time taking dick pics and sending them to many women – and one underage girl. For the latter activity, he got into a lot of trouble. His wife, Clinton aide Huma Abedin, has been named as a Pizza Ring member by some Pizzagaters.

In a sense, Pizzagate is the bastard child of Anthony Weiner, because the earliest online speculation about “something big” revolved around the FBI’s investigation of his emails. However, that probe didn’t yield anything big, so the rumour mill moved on to John Podesta’s emails in search of dirt.

On the surface, all of the people mentioned above are on the same page politically. Don’t be fooled. David Brock has harshly criticized Hillary Clinton’s campaign team, headed by John Podesta, for failing to get her into the White House. Tony Podesta stepped down from his post at the Podesta Group not because he was a subject of the FBI investigation, but because his company employed a Republican who was. Sure, Jeffrey Epstein was friendly with the Clintons – but he was also tight with Donald Trump. Real life does not always follow party lines.

Dramatis Personae: The Accusers, Investigators and Pizzagate Experts

Mike Cernovich: Cernovich is a right-wing internet personality very active on Twitter. In 2012 he set up the website Danger and Play, primarily as a forum for Men’s Rights topics. He was a loud voice throughout Gamergate. He says semen has magical, addictive properties and should be carefully guarded from semen-stealing whores (“whores” = women who are sexually active). He thinks white genocide is a thing. He makes sassy comments about rape and occasionally accuses people of supporting child molesters in order to get them fired. When he records his videos, he makes sure you can see his hawt Iranian wife lounging in the background (“See, I’m not racist!”). You know, the usual alt media hipster edgelord shit. It’s completely impossible to tell how much of Cernovich’s output is brand-building bluster and how much is genuine, so I won’t even waste your time with that.

During the 2016 election, Cernovich increasingly focused on the political scene (because Trump). His main contribution was insisting that Hillary Clinton had advanced Parkinson’s Disease. When that got stale, he become one of the first and most prominent “new right” voices to trumpet Pizzagate. In fact, he was so early to the game that it wasn’t even called Pizzagate yet. He continued to heavily promote the hypothesis for several months.

Since that time, Cernovich has eased back from Pizzagate as part of an effort to up his credibility. We’ll look more closely at his Pizzagate role in the next post.

Liz Crokin: Like David Seaman (see below), Crokin was a freelance journalist and is now a full-time Pizzagater.

Crokin claims that journalists who write about sex trafficking are being blacklisted, just as the editors at Townhall.com supposedly blacklisted her for writing about “Pedogate.” This echoes the Pizzagaters’ frequent cries of censorship and persecution, which usually turn out to be exaggerations. A Google news search for “sex trafficking” should reassure you that lots of journalists are still covering the topic. What Crokin omits from her blacklisting allegation is that Townhall stopped publishing her work after she jumped to the defense of professional troll Milo Yiannopoulos, devoting roughly a third of her “sex trafficking” article to how mean everybody was being to him. It’s possible that Townhall ditched Crokin for her inability to stick to a goddamn topic.

Prior to Pizzagate, Crokin wrote primarily for tabloid publications and sketchy websites. She has a history of dramatic and bizarre claims, some of them disguised as fiction. After breaking up with a wealthy older boyfriend in 2013, she published a political thriller entitled Malice in which the antagonist is a wealthy older man who abuses children, somehow gives his daughter Lyme Disease and slips ecstasy into his wife’s drinks. Crokin has accused her ex of giving her herpes that resulted in meningitis and brain damage. He has countered by alleging that Malice is a thinly disguised attack on him. Which, duh.

At one time, Crokin claimed that a sex tape of Hillary Clinton, Huma Abedin and an underage girl was soon going to emerge and blow the lid off the Pedogate scandal. This video was supposedly found on Anthony Weiner’s computer, in a file labled “Life Insurance.” Crokin is the only person to claim any knowledge of this video. Just like the video of Bill Clinton assaulting a 13-year-old girl, which we’ll cover in the next post, this video has never surfaced.

Currently, Crokin is clinging to the idea that the FBI’s Russia investigation will lead directly to Hillary Clinton.

The Drudge Report: Though Drudge never jumped all the way onto the pizza bandwagon, it gave the hypothesis a powerful kickstart with a re-post of an Infowars story headlined “WIKI WICCAN: PODESTA PRACTICES OCCULT MAGIC.”

alex-jones

Alex Jones, 44: The subject of one of my other (mostly defunct) blogs, Leaving Alex Jonestown, Jones is an Internet broadcaster who believes the Anti-Defamation League might have been behind the Holocaust Museum shooting and that France is genetically engineering fishpeople like Kevin Costner in Waterworld. He’s an avid Trump supporter. Like Cernovich, Jones took an intense interest in Pizzagate, then backed away from it. However, his early support for the Pizzagate hypothesis helped launch it into public consciousness, so his role cannot be overlooked.
Jones has no criminal record, and has not been implicated in a sex scandal, though he’s friends with Charlie Sheen but is currently being sued for racial discrimination and sexual harassment by two former employees.

At this time, Jones’ YouTube channel may be deleted. It was put on notice after he posted videos describing the Florida school shooting as fake and some of the teenage survivors as “crisis actors.”

Breitbart.com: Breitbart published a few articles on Pizzagate, but its main contribution to the hypothesis was the misconception that the late Andrew Breitbart exposed John Podesta as a human trafficker and pedophile all the way back in 2011. We’ll examine this utterly inaccurate bit of pizzalore in Part IV.

Brittany Pettibone: One of several twentysomething alt-right wannabes who attempted to boost themselves into the spotlight with Pizzagate, Pettibone has worked closely with white supremacists and believes in white genocide, while insisting she is not a racist. She was recently barred from entering the UK (Britain’s Home Office explained in a statement that it has the power “to refuse entry to an individual if it is considered that his or her presence in the UK is not conducive to the public good”). Tucker Carlson leapt to her defense. He presented her as just your average conservative journalist, which she is not. She is a cute little Nazi who gets far more attention than she has ever earned. That’s really all there is to say about her.

Jack Posobiec: Basically Mike Cernovich in a different skinsuit.

Chances are that any goofball conservative PR stunt you’ve heard about in the past year and a half had something to do with this guy.  In November 2016 he showed up at an anti-Trump rally with a “Rape Melania” poster. A month later, he used his Twitter powers for evil and convinced most Trump supporters – without presenting a crumb of evidence – that Disney had hastily added anti-Trump scenes to Rogue One. This culminated in the Twitter ban of another central Pizzagater, Jared Wyand (see below).

Posobiec’s primary contribution to Pizzagatery was his live-streamed “investigation” of Comet Ping Pong. He found nothing of interest and was asked to leave the restaurant for attempting to broadcast a child’s birthday party.

guy-fawkes

Pseudo-Anonymous: Who the hell knows who this is? Could be anybody. Anonymous, as you know, is a collective of hacktivists who release videos via a semi-official YouTube channel and occasionally organize mass actions dealing with everything from Scientology to Australian porn. But pseudo-Anonymous groups proliferate online, and (as we’ll see) their stances are often at odds with the real Anonymous. In this post, I have tried to differentiate between pseudo-Anonymous groups and Anonymous, but it’s not always an easy thing to do.

David Seaman: All of Seaman’s earliest Pizzagate videos have been removed from YouTube, but the former freelance journalist has still churned out an incredibly high volume of Pizzagate-related videos in the past year. I don’t think it would be exaggeration to say that Pizzagate is his life now.

Seaman got his start in journalism by landing an internship at Jezebel in 2007. His bosses immediately tired of his childish self-absorption. He then wrote two books about self-promotion, including How to Be a Publicity Whore (2008), and became something of an expert on cryptocurrency.

In 2016, he was publishing a HuffPo finance blog. That’s where things went sideways. HuffPo supposedly fired him for posting too many stories about Hillary’s health during the 2016 election cycle, and he admittedly turned into a beer-swilling, unemployed mess. He grew determined to get revenge on “that bitch”, and Pizzagate was one of the last straws left to grasp. Seaman grasped it hard. As we’ll see in part II, though, Seaman was not actually fired by Huffpo.

At this time, Seaman is under a two-week YouTube ban for posting videos about the Florida school shooting being fake.

hillbilly

Edgar Welch, 29: North Carolina resident with no known connections to anyone in D.C.  (or anyone in this entire lineup, for that matter). On December 4, 2016, he entered Comet Ping Pong and fired three shots from an assault rifle after a failed attempt to find and rescue child slaves from the restaurant.

Welch has a criminal record that includes marijuana possession, a 2007 conviction for driving after consuming alcohol while under 21 and a 2013 conviction for driving under the influence, according to court records. In October 2016 he struck a kid with his car. We also know he worked on several student films between 2007-2009, and graduated from Cape Fear Community College in 2007. He has two kids with his girlfriend. He’s a registered Republican, but hasn’t expressed any political motivation. On his Facebook page, he posted things about Biblical prophecy and the coming of the Muslim Antichrist.

There are a lot of theories about Mr. Welch. Pizzagaters generally believe he was a government agent or a mind-controlled patsy sent to discredit their investigation. In my own view, Welch probably has some mental health issues and a good dose of Travis Bickle syndrome. He told police he brought the rifle with him to “help rescue” any children he found, and en route to D.C. he recorded a video message for his family, telling them he loved them and he hoped to be able to tell them that again.

Prior to entering Comet, Welch reportedly texted a friend that he was “Raiding a pedo ring, possibly sacraficing [sic] the lives of a few for the lives of many… I’m sorry bro, but I’m tired of turning the channel and hoping someone does something and being thankful it’s not my family. One day it will be our families. The world is too afraid to act and I’m too stubborn not to.” The text also mentions “Standing up against a corrupt system that kidnaps, tortures and rapes babies and children in our own backyard.”

Some Pizzagaters have followed the lead of Sandy Hook and Boston Bombing truthers by pointing to Welch’s handful of film credits and declaring him a “crisis actor”, hired by someone-or-other to impersonate a crazed gunman. This is unlikely. Welch has accepted responsibility for his actions and expressed regrets for the way he handled the situation. He is also serving four years in prison – a stiff price to pay for an acting gig.

Silhouette of a man in a business suit giving a shrug with a question mark

Social Media Users on Twitter, Gab, Voat, Steemit, YouTube, Reddit, etc.: The driving forces behind Pizzagate may or may not be using their real names online, as is their right. Therefore, we know little to nothing about them. We don’t know if any of them have criminal records, and we don’t know if they have been implicated in any sex scandals.

malfoy

Wikileaks and Julian Assange: Wikileaks and its founder don’t need an introduction, do they? Wikileaks is now the world’s largest repository for leaked, stolen and classified information that you’re probably not supposed to see. It has been instrumental in exposing injustices and dragging hidden information into the sunlight. It published the Podesta emails and took a keen interest in the early research of Pizzagaters.
Assange was accused of rape in Switzerland in 2010, and took refuge in the Embassy of Ecuador in London rather than submit to a Swiss police investigation. The Swiss investigation was dropped in May 2017, but Assange continues to reside at the Embassy to avoid bail-jumping charges.

Jared Wyand: Though Wyand is the second-most obscure online personality on this list (Ms. Pettibone being #1 with a bullet), he is more responsible for the creation of Pizzagate than any of them. He had a sizable Twitter following in late 2016, and he tweeted the mysterious, food-related “code words” that spurred people to comb through John Podesta’s emails in search of dirt and led to the “outing” of Comet Ping Pong as the spiritual headquarters of the Satanic Gay Pedo Cannibal Democrats.

Wyand subsequently freaked out over the anti-Trump scenes that weren’t even in Rogue One, and pitched a racist, anti-Semitic Twittertantrum that got him banned. He now posts at Gab, where he is openly a Holocaust denier and anti-Semite. We’ll see much more of him in Part IV (The Evidence).

Looking at this random assortment of characters, it’s difficult to comprehend how a conspiracy hypothesis involving all of them came to exist. To understand how Pizzagate  became a phenomenon, we have to review its troubling origins.

 

Part II
The Birth of an Hypothesis: The Pizzagate Timeline

 

 

The War on Christmas is Real

The Espresso Shot Heard Round the World

On November 5, Arizona vlogger and possible psychopath Joshua Feuerstein posted a Facebook video calling for a worldwide movement to force Starbucks to acknowledge Christmas.  His rant went viral, topping 12 million views in just three days.
Feuerstein was incensed that the world’s largest coffee chain had removed all vestiges of Christendom from its holiday paper cups, though a review of previous years’ cups reveals that Starbucks never actually had Christmas-themed cups in the first place. The cups usually feature stylized swirls, snowflakes, and other random wintery stuff. What does the birth of Christ have to do with the outline of a poinsettia? I don’t know, either. I just know that the ’99 cup design included a car so poorly drawn it resembled a UFO. Because Jesus.

starbucks cups

Feuerstein contends that Starbucks “hates Jesus” and is waging an assault-by-omission on Christmas.  Never mind, please, that Starbucks is offering Christmas blend coffees, Christmas albums, Christmas cookies, and porcelain Christmas mugs in all its stores. Frankly, the average Starbucks in November looks like Santa’s man cave.

Feuerstein also announced his intention to open carry in Starbucks, because Jesus just loved weaponry, right?

On a CNN appearance, he insisted that unnamed plotters are trying to “remove Christmas out of society.” He cited two examples: The SouthPark Mall in Charlotte, North Carolina, has “required that they take down their Christmas tree this year” (falseby popular demand, the mall’s Christmas tree will be going up) and “cities are banning nativity scenes in front of churches” (false – I can’t find a single instance of this happening in the U.S.; cities such as Santa Monica have banned public displays, but never private ones on church properties).

This sort of tirade has become an annual tradition in the U.S., and it is infinitely more beloved than fruitcake or mulled cider ever were.

I’ll Give You My Yule Log When You Pry It From My Frostbitten Hands

It all began roughly two decades ago, when Colorado pastor Jim Hagen noticed that employees at a shopping mall were greeting customers with “Happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Obviously, this was not an attempt to sideline Christmas (the five aisles of tinsel-decked fuzzy reindeer that pop up in stores every October will attest to that), but Pastor Hagen took (or pretended to take) umbrage. He started a grassroots campaign to get in the face of any minimum-wage retail employee that dared say “happy holidays”, although “happy holidays” is probably more appropriate for a season that includes Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Henry Miller’s birthday, Solstice celebrations, and New Year’s Eve.

Fox News personality Bill O’Reilly later became the face of the movement. In 2004, he began collecting random tales of “holiday trees” being erected in public squares, of elementary schools staging “winter” pageants, etc. His collective term for these widely separated and unconnected incidents was – say it with me now – the “War on Christmas.”
According to O’Reilly (and other Fox pundits, notably John Gibson), this was a full-frontal assault on Christmas orchestrated by liberals, non-Christians, atheists, and Wal-Mart cashiers; a systematic effort to tear down public Christmas trees, banish nativity displays, sanitize school Christmas pageants, and render Christmas carols obsolete. In 2005, Gibson’s book The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought became a bestseller.

However, Pastor Hagen and Fox News didn’t manufacture the War on Christmas all on their own. It was actually the brainchild of a British Fortune editor, Peter Brimelow. In the late ’90s, he founded one of the most virulent anti-immigration sites ever run by an immigrant: VDare.com. The Southern Poverty Law Center classifies VDare as an extremist site, and it isn’t difficult to understand why. The sidebar of the site’s main articles page is a wall of Confederate flags, advertised as part of a “Personal Patriot Pack” offered to generous donors. Featured articles include “Dalton Trumbo Had It Coming” and essays mourning the death of white civilization. VDare makes it plain that immigrants are probably the worst thing to happen in the history of this planet.
Every Christmas, VDare awards a prize to the writer who can present the most enraging example of the War on Christmas. Bill O’Reilly, as we’ve noted, sticks mostly to elementary school festivities and nativity mangers and such. VDare sticks mostly to immigrants, Communists, Muslims and Jews. You read that correctly. Year after year, the “winners” of VDare’s annual War on Christmas essay competition are crackpots who believe that Jews and other “Christophobes” are trying to abolish Christmas. The 2001 winner, for example, declared Hanukkah to be a make-believe holiday unworthy of observance, and waxed nostalgic over how awesome it was for Whittaker “Pumpkin Patch” Chambers to celebrate Christmas with his kids after leaving those crummy pinkos behind.

Santa Commie

More respectable Christian media outlets soon joined in the yearly rage-fest. In 2007, Focus on the Family, America’s most popular Christian radio show, called for listeners to throw out any mail-order catalogues that used the term “Happy Holidays.” They called this campaign Merry Tossmas.

It was around this time that my own late grandmother, worked into a righteous lather by an afternoon of Fox News viewing, told me she would shout “MERRY CHRISTMAS” to the first cashier that had the gall to say “Happy holidays!” to her. To my knowledge, she never had to bother.

Then came the legislators.  In 2008, Utah senator Chris Buttars announced a resolution pressuring retailers to allow their employees to use the word “Christmas” in their greetings to customers. He ultimately abandoned the idea, but declared the battle wasn’t over.
In 2009, Rep. Henry Brown, R-S.C., introduced a resolution calling for the House to protect Christmas symbols and traditions. Brown was particularly peeved that the Obamas’ holiday cards hadn’t explicitly mentioned Christmas. “I believe that sending a Christmas card without referencing a holiday and its purpose limits the Christmas celebration in favor of a more ‘politically correct’ holiday,” he told Fox Radio.

I was more than a little baffled by this War on Christmas rhetoric. You see, I live in a very multicultural city where Islam, Buddhism, and Judaism are well-represented. We also have a good number of Sikhs, Hindus, atheists and agnostics, Sai Baba people,  Bahá’í and Unitarian people, Maitreya people, Scientologists, folks who think Jesus came back as a South Korean, and people who worship a former shoe salesman.
Yet there is still a huge Christmas tree in the city square every year. Even when we had a Jewish mayor, you would find an enormous nativity manger parked outside city hall each Christmas. In our stores, Christmas carols play, greeters say “Merry Christmas” more than “Happy Holidays”, and expanded holiday hours are often called “Christmas hours.”

But I’m here to tell you that there is a War on Christmas, ladies and gentleman. It’s all real. A sinister cabal of people actually is trying to rip down your treetop angels and your boughs of holly and those gigantic inflatable snowglobes in your front yard. They are engaged in a tireless, year-round campaign against Christmas presents and gingerbread houses. These merciless killjoys don’t even want you to hang mistletoe or host ugly sweater competitions!

And guess what? These people are Christians.

Let’s take a look at the frontline soldiers in the real War Against Christmas.

Alex Jones/Infowars

Texas broadcaster and professional paranoid Alex Jones has long been an anti-Christmas fanatic. I first discovered this during his December 14, 2007 broadcast, when he spent a solid five minutes excoriating listeners for buying frivolous Christmas gifts like clothing and sweets and Pagan-inspired Christmas decorations – buy merchandise from the Infowars Store instead! Get the extended 12-hour director’s cut of The Obama Deception! Annoy your friends! Depress your family! Make everyone wish you’d get carted off to a FEMA camp so they don’t have to listen to your fatalistic bullshit a minute longer!

Three Christmases later, Jones’ Prison Planet website re-posted a Russia Today report titled Christmas is pagan celebration of shopping & eating’.

Last December, Infowars re-posted Michael Snyder’s essay on how Christmas gift-giving – and Christmas itself – is a sick, soulless pagan tradition.

So it’s well-established that Jones and company don’t like Christmas trees, Christmas gifts, and the other heathen and godless trappings of Christmas, right?

Well, not quite. In 2013, Jones sent two of his lackeys reporters to the Christmas tree display on the Texas state legislature grounds to express his outrage that non-Christians allegedly opposed having a Christmas tree there. He titled this report “Soft Killing Christmas” (video here). Confused yet? That’s Jonestown for you. Don’t agree with him, he’s already changed his mind.

Santa tapping your phones

The Santa = Satan Crowd

Last Christmas, the Born Again Independent Baptist Church in Harlem displayed “Santa is Satan” on its marquee sign. Most observers were baffled by this, but Pastor Edward Caruthers’ choice to associate Santa Claus with the Adversary of all mankind is not uncommon among American Christians.

santa is satan

Answers in Genesis features an article by Roger Patterson, urging parents to cool it with Santa Claus because belief in him involves deception and manipulation – and takes away too much attention from Christ. Cutting Edge Ministries has a handy chart to show you why Santa is the counterfeit Jesus.

Some Christians, like this guy, rebel against modern depictions of Santa because they stem from Coca-Cola marketing campaigns.

For true Santa-hate, it’s hard to top Wisconsin outsider artist Norbert Kox. An alleged former biker, Kox developed some rather outré Christian beliefs after an Easy Rider-calibre acid freakout in the ’70s. He decided that most of what we know about Christianity, right down to Jesus’s name, is really blasphemous misinformation that must be discarded by seekers after truth. That includes everything we think we know about Christmas. In the December 1986 issue of his now-defunct newsletter, The Wisconsin Caver, Kox linked Santa Claus to Zeus, “Old Nick” (the Devil), Odin, and just about every non-Christian deity known to history. He habitually referred to Santa as “Satan Claws.”

Santa watching you

“We Don’t Do Christmas”

It’s not just eccentrics waging war on Christmas, though. Many Christian denominations have always eschewed the season: The United Church of God , the Church of Christ, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Seventh Day Adventists are the best-known denominations to reject Christmas.
In addition, there are a growing number of evangelical Christians who won’t celebrate the holiday because it has pagan roots, encourages “worldly” behaviour such as greed, and/or isn’t explicitly referenced in the Bible.
In fact, there are so many of these Christians that Kirk Cameron addressed a presentation to them at Liberty University last year (video here) and attempted to reclaim Santa for Christianity with a feature film, Saving Christmas. He pointed out that Saint Nicholas was a model Christian who can be fondly remembered for his charity. Other, anti-Catholic evangelicals promptly told him to put a sock in it.

So if you want to save Christmas, you might end up saving it from the people who created it in the first place.

 

P.S.:  This post was written in my local Starbucks.

starbucks

Alex Jones Explains Ebola

 

This “special report” on Ebola in the U.S. by Alex Jones was uploaded on Saturday. It’s clearly just a teaser for Sunday’s radio broadcast, but it’s worth examining here because it contains several of the absurd disease factoids that Jones repeats ad nauseum on his show – and we all know what can happen when people hear something repeated over and over, without much context or explanation: They start to believe it. So let’s break this down:

1.  Lyme disease is a weaponized, tick-borne strain of syphilis created at Plum Island and unleashed upon America.

First of all, Lyme disease and syphilis are not the same thing. They are both caused by spirochete bacteria, yes, but Lyme disease is just as closely related to obscure skin diseases like tropical yaws as it is to syphilis. Syphilis is sexier, so Jones went with that.

The Plum Island Animal Disease Center of New York is a government facility that researches livestock diseases, primarily foot-and-mouth in cattle. The only sinister thing about the place is that during the Cold War, bioweapons research (aimed at livestock, not humans) was conducted there. This dark phase of the lab’s history spawned the theory that Lyme disease spread from Plum Island in the mid-’70s, carried to mainland Connecticut by the wild birds that populate the area.  This theory gained prominience with the publication of attorney Michael Carroll’s 2004 book  Lab 257: The Disturbing Story of the Government’s Secret Plum Island Germ Laboratory, which practically debunked itself.

2.  Biosafety level 4 labs are surrounded by minefields and machine gun nests, and can be incinerated with “huge canisters of natural gas” at the push of a button in case of accidental contamination.


cdc_explosion
Are BSL-4 labs rigged to self-incinerate in an emergency? Politifact Georgia has already tackled this subject in regards to CDC headquarters in Atlanta (and if the CDC isn’t designed to be incinerated, it’s doubtful that any federally-funded lab in the U.S. is). CDC spokesperson Karen Hunter told Politifact that materials are burned, but it’s not what Jones has in mind. Researchers simply decontaminate with common household cleaning products like bleach, then toss the cloths they’ve used into an incinerator.

If you want to see the real safety measures taken at Level 4 facilities, check out this 60-minute video tour of Boston University’s NEIDL lab. Note that BU is a weapons-free campus, as is the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston (where another BSL-4 lab is situated). Machine guns and landmines would not go over well at these locations. BSL-4 security precautions include much saner things like rigorous screening, perimeter fences and manned gates, and surveillance cams.

3.  A truck accident exposed Americans to “weaponized flu” 7 years ago.

I can’t find any evidence of such a thing happening. Jones is probably referring to a 2005 Canadian incident in which a FedEx truck carrying anthrax, influenza, and other germ specimens crashed in Winnipeg. There was no “weaponized flu” involved. All of the germs were weakened enough to be nonlethal even if they had escaped their shipping containers, which they didn’t.

4.  Mousepox is deadlier than Ebola, and scientists have released the “ingredients list” for it.

Mousepox is a mouse disease. Humans can’t get it. There is no “ingredients list”, because it is a naturally occurring disease. Jones seems to be confusing a controversial mousepox experiment with a 2012 debate over whether scientists should go public with the results of their research into H5N1.

5.  Professor Eric Pianka wants to unleash airborne Ebola on the world for real.

This is clearly a reference to the infamous comments made by University of Texas-Austin professor Eric Pianka back in 2006, one of Jones’ favourite bits of “evidence” that They are plotting to wipe out all but 1% of the world’s population. I’ve discussed this before at Leaving Alex Jonestown. The bottom line is that Pianka is a herpetologist, not a biochemist, and he was referring to a naturally occurring (not to mention fictional) strain of Ebola in a rhetorial manner.

6.  Eugenics/depopulation master plan: The elite want to eliminate up to 99% of the world’s population.

worldpop

Nope.

 

The Health Ranger Might Want to Kill You

 

zyklon        potato

 

Mike “Health Ranger” Adams is on the warpath. The frequent guest host of The Alex Jones Show has enjoyed an unprecedented amount of mainstream attention this year, even appearing on Dr. Oz’s TV show in May to discuss his shiny new “food lab” (where he diligently searches for trace amounts of heavy metals in processed foods and beverages). But Adams has a deeply paranoid side, and that side came out roaring last week. On Monday, July 21, he published a glorious example of Godwin’s Law on his Natural News website: “Biotech genocide, Monsanto collaborators and the Nazi legacy of ‘science’ as justification for murder.”
In the tradition of Ben Stein’s “science leads to killing people“, this piece argues that biotech in the food industry is analogous to the (pseudo)science used to justify the Holocaust. Publications that support GMOs, then, are every bit as bad as the German institutions that funded Nazi medical experiments – they are “Monsanto collaborators”, in Adams’ words. Journalists who criticize the Food Babe, Dr. Mercola, or Adams himself are members of a “radical cult”, enablers of “GMO genocide.”

As always, Adams’ evidence that GMOs are deadly is absurdly thin. He cites the Seralini rat study as proof that GMOs cause cancer, and that’s basically it. This article isn’t any different from all his other anti-GMO rants, until he gets to the part about a recent speech by German President Joachim Gauck, in which Gauck commended the key players in Operation Valkyrie (the failed attempt to assassinate Hitler in 1944). Adams interprets Gauck’s central message thusly:

it is the moral right — and even the obligation — of human beings everywhere to actively plan and carry out the killing of those engaged in heinous crimes against humanity.” (emphasis in original)

He goes on to list some Monsanto collaborators (wiki editors, leftist publications, food companies, etc.) before issuing a call to arms, encouraging someone to

“create a website listing all the publishers, scientists and journalists who are now Monsanto propaganda collaborators. I have no doubt such a website would be wildly popular and receive a huge influx of visitors, and it would help preserve the historical record of exactly which people contributed to the mass starvation and death which will inevitably be unleashed by GMO agriculture (which is already causing mass suicides in India and crop failures worldwide).”

Someone heeded that call almost instantly. Just as Tea Party websites popped up within 24 hours of Rick Santelli’s CNBC rant back in 2009, a Monsanto Collaborators site manifested just days after the Health Ranger’s creepy Nazi article was posted. It features an image of Auschwitz, superimposed with the names of several journalists and science writers who have criticized anti-GMO activism, defended GMOs, or questioned the Seralini study. There are links to stories about the “GMO” suicides among Indian farmers (a myth that has been debunked here, here, and here), and an ominous declaration that “responsibility for these deaths falls upon those individuals and organizations shown on this site.”

This is precisely what Adams wanted to see. In his July 21st article, he expressed the hope that the anti-GMO community will spawn a few Simon Wiesenthals, willing to track down Monsanto collaborators so they can be brought to justice. It should be noted that he attempted to soften his Valkyrie analogy by stating that he does not condone vigilante action, and would simply like to see Nuremberg-style trials for cereal manufacturers and science reporters.
Adams warned that anyone who becomes a Monsanto hunter should hide behind total anonymity, for his very life will be in danger. And that’s exactly what the creator of the Monsanto Collaborators site tried to do.

Here’s where things get a little weird. Adams, in an update to his article, stridently denies that he played any part in the website’s creation, and even urges his fellow activists to avoid it. Being a seasoned conspiracy theorist, he reasons that Monsanto Collaborators was put up by the “biotech mafia” to discredit anti-GMO activists (he also believes the biotech industry ensnares journalists and activists in elaborate sexual blackmail schemes, in order to turn them into shills). However, the Genetic Literary Project claims it has confirmed that Adams is the financial backer of the new website. Sadly, they haven’t provided any evidence of that to date.
UPDATE: As I was writing this post yesterday, This Week in Pseudoscience posted the results of their examination of MonsantoCollaborators.org, and there are strong indications that the site was put up by someone in the Health Ranger’s inner circle. The most compelling indicator is that Adams’ article didn’t appear anywhere online until after 11:00 PM (GMT) on July 21. It was posted to Facebook at 11:05 (GMT), and the first comment on the Natural News article was made 10 minutes later. However, MonsantoCollaborators.org was registered earlier in the day, at 4:21 (GMT) in the afternoon.
(thanks to David)

To my knowledge, this is the first time that one of Alex Jones’ most popular guests has made implied threats of violent retribution against a perceived enemy. His bizarre outburst comes at a time when he is struggling to put his conspiracy-mongering behind him and rebrand himself as a saner, calmer health activist. It also comes at a time when the anti-Monsanto, anti-GMO movement is at peak strength, gaining thousands of new supporters by the second. Boycotts, petitions, and protest rallies are sprouting all over the planet and garnering serious attention from mainstream media outlets. And now, at this pivotal moment, Adams decides to unleash subtle threats of violence and false accusations of genocide? It seems that if anyone is inflicting severe damage to the anti-GMO cause, it’s Adams himself. If he keeps this up, he’ll become a very different kind of ranger…

Lone_ranger_silver_1965

The Swallowing the Camel Comment Hall of Fame

A friend recently inspired me to gather up some of the funniest, weirdest, creepiest comments I’ve received at this blog and at Leaving Alex Jonestown over the years.
Aside from some necessary minor adjustments (abridgement, clarification, punctuation, etc.), the comments below have not been altered. The original spelling, cusswords and grammatical errors remain intact.

Keep in mind, as you read, that I am religiously unaffiliated, do not accept donations to this or any other blog, and have not endorsed any political figure or agenda in any of my posts.
When I started this blog back in…2006?…I was, indeed, a housewife with stepkids. I was also a volunteer and an avid reader. As is still true today, I didn’t watch television. I was and remain a vegetarian who likes to eat simple, natural foods.
I have since returned to school as planned, and am working toward a legal career. So for everyone who said I sat around watching Oprah and eating junk food: Screw yourselves.
I’m cool with being called a mass-murdering New Order shill, but you do not accuse me of watching Oprah.

To the rest of you: Happiest New Year!

twilight_zone_door

from “goodguy”: “Now why is there people name calling David Duke a ‘racist’ when clearly he’s not, perhaps it’s left-wing/communist whites, who knows?
I think David Duke is ok he’s just not as good as Kevin Macdonald though.Alex Jones is clearly a liar connected with zionists so don’t fall for his tricks.”

from “true_believing_martian”: “You dismiss the Martian colony out of hand, but you were never there!
I travelled there multiple times through Astral Projection and saw Russians, Chinese and Americans working together.
Perhaps you should do some more research and do some Astral Travelling of your own before you make fun of the most successful conspiracy to date.”

from “Honk Bonk Man”: “Well, this Illuminati lunacy is mainly created by Jews, old hippies from the 60’s that cooked their brains in LSD. Jews always find a way to make a buck out of anything. It is hard to believe that anyone would take these kind of conspiracies serious. Jews are the master of diception. I bet all these conspiracies publishing houses are owned by Jews.”

“I just found your blog while google image searching ‘nazi zombies’ for source material for some douche bag’s tattoo. Shit goddamn! You’re as funny as Alex Jones is dangerous to the gullible.”

“GEORGE BUSH IF YOUR READING I THINK YOUR A CUNT, MY SISTER COULD RUN THE COUNTRY BETTER AND SHES 4 AND A HALF. YOU HAVE THE BRAIN SPAN OF A FISH. OH AND ANY OTHER SECRET AGENTS READING, YOU ARE ALSO CUNTS. good day.”

“oh guys the info is taken out of context. do your research. be intelligent. you cannot exactly dismiss everything [Kurt] Koch said. I dont believe in the boodie man but have seen with my own eyes many things demonic. what makes ghost hunters so popular today on the T.v.??? How about celebrity ghost stories? Are they alll bonked as well? If your going to discredit some one read their work in full. Any one can debunk some one by taking one statement out of context and leading their reader to their conclusion. Verbal manipulation is not a magic trick afterall.”

from Cheryl Meril: “How sad that you view Obama as legitimate and Alex Jones full of nonsense. You’re pure evil. Obama supports out of womb infanticide and that doesn’t bother you among the hoards of things he’s doing to our country to destroy it? You’re totally absurd to be supporting Obama. I won’t waste another minute on your blog.”

“Doweenkies have taken over S, Calif. Puffy waffy’s must be dispatched “forth with” ….. Ownllyy they can pr0tect the Logical’s from a fate werser then bowing bowing …..yep!”

from “Raju”: “WHAT ALL BILL [Schnoebelen] SAID WAS ABSOLUTELY TRUE. ONLY A PERSON WHO DOEST’NT KNOW THE POWER OF WITCHCRAFT OR A PERSON WHO WANT TO TRAP INNOCENT PEOPLE WILL DENY THIS. What all he said is prevalent in Asia since centuries.”

“Dear me, how intellectual you all sound! (Except for the one person who is willing to admit to the possible existence of real psychic phenomena.) I might sound the same, were it not for the strange occurrences that took place in my own family some years back. If you’ve never had first-hand experience with some of these occultic uglies, you can be happy for it. I can tell you, however, that they can be most unpleasant. We are grateful for those kind people who helped us recognize those things for what they were, and who also taught us how to be free and how to stay free from them. Ignorance is not always bliss.”

“You are a fine upstanding mormon, helping them to achieve their goals for world domination, and lull the public into believing they never killed kids in Mountain Meadows. “

“Also, I am doubtful of a person’s relationship with Christ who continues to use profanity like I have seen in your posts! Out of the same spring, bitter and sweet water cannot come..neither from the heart cursings and blessings! Just saying…”

from “Miki”: “The biggest danger for me when leaving [Satanism] was not a bunch of satanists that I was leaving but local Christians. I have been bullied, blackmailed and stalked by Christians at various Churches and one lady tried to set me alight during a Church service and no-one tried to stop her.”

“Well, first of all Mormons are god seekers and god makers. They are an occult organisation bar none. This is who you get with Mitt Romney. A secret society of witches who’s creed is to behead all none believers just as the Muslims believe and do.”

about the Paul is Dead hoax: “Even if William Campbell didn’t win this contest, they MI5 plotters behind this cover up would have found a man who looked very much like Paul McCartney, so regardless… the replacements actual children could very well look like the real Paul. I think the best and easiest way to disprove this matter from being a ‘hoax’ is to have the current Paul/Faul McCartney thoroughly medically examined by various top-of-their-field medical experts from different regions of the world…”

“Jimmy J farmeth is a good 10 year old boy everliving flesh non robot. negress want a time portal to erase his genetics from hister y all kinds of beam weoponsd a poltergiest that could kill 9 people 9 people, some kind of raybeam that makes everyhting thousends below farenhite temp used on his matreess white boys are life force not scum. they amade hundred of holograms in his path of strength bot the home and school where he was at to leave his essense without a breath oxy gen breathers like jimmy J are life force he only had 5 minute dreams of floating every seven hours eyes closed, everything in this hounting is speedid up so 5 seconds is 20 minutes including the tv and radio”

from “East Coast Info Warriors”: “If you find it is to much to fathom that the country of Canada is filled with Tyranny, you should read more news papers and not believe everything that oblong box in the corner of your home tells you is real. I am just trying to help you break away from the brainwashing, that the schools, the government and so many others have apparently achieved. Chem-Trails 2012 Composed of Barium and Aluminum Phosphate (Main stream media confirmed) Monsanto 2012 Genetically Modified beef, Poultry and vegetables…”

“The Roman Constantine Pedophile Catholic Cult has nothing in common with Jesus of Nazareth & His Gospel! GET IT?
Now Google www.tridentinum.com and see what it takes to dress the Papacy, remembering what Jesus said about, ‘Foxes have holes……,but I the Son of Man have nowhere to lay my head.’

from someone claiming to be Fredric Bourdin: “Tapazole, come and try to kill me whore, I fuck your family and your mother is my bitch, how about that, I live in ‘Le Mans’, please come, so easy for you behind a computer screen to play tough guy :))) and fuck your fucking US beheaded dead army. Remember to ask your mum why she sucked so hard the cock!!!”

from Dave in Queens (“Socrates”): “You’re a bit late to the chemtrail show. Too bad you’re a predictable know-it-all idiot taking the easy way out in your debunking. I did notice one lie while skimming. There does need to be about 60-70% relative humidity to account for certain events. So when you push 10% being all that’s needed, you are flat out wrong. I emailed with Patrick Minnis of NASA. He said radiosondes can give false readings. Yet here you are moving the goal posts. Since you are late to game and regurgitating nothing new while debunking nothing from my website All Aircraft Are Not Involved, I will not be coming back to see if you respond. To repeat, you are a pompous, predictable debunker leaching off of obvious strawman arguments. You should do something about that authoritarian personality disorder you are suffering.”

“I gave up all hope on every seeing my feet again until my friend took me for a spa day… After a 30 minute massage and an ionic foot bath I felt amazing. I returned once a week for 4 weeks and have lost 28 pounds and I eat so much more food (now that I’m hungry again). I eat pizza junk food soda and I drink alcohol and I’m still losing fat. I still don’t exercise. I have seen a huge difference in my bowel movements now…they’re normal! Call it what out will but it works for me when nothing else did.”

“This is the letter i writed to Lenon Honor: Good morning Lenon, i’m one of your former follower. I used to like what you produce like documentaries. You contribuited to open my eyes about what really happens in the spiritual world. BUT… there’s a big BUT! You deny Jesus Christ as the savior of humanity. Let me tell you something, whatever you do, if you don’t confess Jesus-Christ as your saviour, you are just making your path straight to hell. Dear Lenon, you’re an antichrist, i’m sorry to tell you that truth…
Then, you practice demonic arts like Reiki, Transcendental meditation which allows you to bring demons into your body, doing so you’re deceived by these spirits who give you a false sense of security and peace…
You’ll soonly see a video about you on youtube, i’ll warn christians and other to not follow your teachings, because you got a poison inside you. Repent before it’s too late brother! See you soon! I repeat : Repent before it’s to late for you and your family in front of the true God, father of Jesus-Christ!”

“Since you are adamant that your facts of the Lauren Stratford case are accurate, is debunking all you do on this blog. Certainly Satanism exist, only an ignorant fool would say that it did not. Have you never had a case that WAS true? I would find that as hard to believe as you do Lauren’s book. So here’s a challenge for you S.M.Elliot. Research and tell us a story that you found to be TRUE. For there must be some out there somewhere. Then it will not appear that you are simply trying to cover us what could be the most horrendous crimes known to mankind.”

“You say Catholics cannot be Freemasons. I know for a fact that is not true from personal experience with a group of professionals (medical) who were all Catholics & they all were Masons. Not only that, but the head honcho doc in the office was prez of the local ‘Catholic Medical Association.’ After noticing several Masonic clues around the offices, I flat out asked them if they were Freemasons which they readily affirmed, ‘Yes! How did you know'” Reply: ‘Because of that cartoon there on your wall.’ (Masonic cartoon re ‘midnight raids.’) He: ‘Ohhhh, yeah.’ Me: ‘Dr. xxx says you guys know all about the New World Order.’ He: (freaking) ‘HE TOLD YOU THAT?????’ Me: ‘Yes, why?’ (why was this guy so surprised? I had flat out asked the head honcho doc previously if he was aware of the NWO, & he did not hesitate at all but said, ‘OH YES, We are VERY WELL AWARE of the New World Order!’) From then on I started taking printouts to them of Historic Masonic Quotes FROM THEIR OWN LITERATURE proving Freemasonry is Luciferianism based on the Jewish Kabbalah, quotes by Manly P Hall, Pike, Rabbi Weiss (founder of Reformed Judaism), etc. etc. can’t remember them all now. Some time goes by & I revisit & the nurses tell me the one doc (who freaked) had up & left town & moved away. Hmmm.”

“Am I as a reader being forced into off the wall assumptions about your disappearance, such as the idea that the motivation behind creating LEAVING ALEX JONESTOWN was a result of a Rockefeller mind control program designed to smear the good name of Alex Jones? Have you just woken up from being a pawn of Rockefeller thanks to Jones uncovering this malfeasance, and wonder where the hell you’ve been, and why you’ve been writing two blogs?
Should I be making infowars aware of this possibility? It would sure make for a swell story over there.”

“I apologize if the previous comment seemed too harsh. In truth, your blogs are well written and quite informative, and it was rude to call you a statist troll. I still dislike your blogs (especially the Alex Jones one), but there was no need for me to be rude about it. If the comment offended you, I apologize.”

from Greg Bucceroni: “FYI I disassociated myself from Richie Kuklinski [“the Ice Man”] back in 1982 after I was warned that Roy DeMeo wanted Kuklinski to kill me after I complained about child pornography and child snuff films that we were trafficking from New York City to Philadelphia. As a victim of child sex trafficking and abuse I wanted no criminal part in trafficking kiddie porn and I made a big fuss about it which got Roy DeMeo pissed off at me. It was the big fuss that I initiated that eventually got Roy DeMeo murdered 1983 that also eventually gave John Gotti another excuse to murder Paul Castellano and Robert ‘DB’ DiBernardo during the rise of the John Gotti era for which I was not a part of.”

from Dale Larner: “Thanks for the inclusion of Vincent Alias Jack in your list. There will be another list some day soon, but with only one on the list, and it will be Van Gogh. He was the killer, and the evidence proves it. The website is only a small taste of what is presented in the book. Something important to understand that helps dispel the disbelief—Vincent was a nobody during his life. He blended in well with the East End crowd.
Vincent van Gogh was Jack the Ripper.”

“Boston is proof of cover up. There is too much evidence and too many fake, bloodless victims. You have to keep your eyes closed not to see it on purpose, and that is the right of those who don’t want to know. Hell, I wish I didn’t know sometimes too. It’s a difficult thing to come to terms with a world playing by a different set of rules. I will only say the time is rapidly approaching when knowledge is going to be a key to survival. Those who place their faith and trust in the official narrative… well, God help them.”

“Yeh there must be some really stupid people out there but I have to say this going to the moon thing bothers me. A friend of mine who knows someone REALLY important in NASA says that by pretending that the world is not flat they will still get their funding. Far fetched, but think about it…we only have their word. And then there’s the John lennon thing …”

“There is a worldwide depopulation effort going on. Everything that sounds strange is not a conspiracy theory. It just means you are too stupid to know the difference. 9/11 was a false flag and anyone with half a brain that has seen the evidence agrees. Get a grip on reality. The elite don’t care if you and your families die. They want complete control of everything and they are going to get it with all these conspiracy theories about conspiracy theories.”

“It sounds to me, tshsmom, as if you and sme have set up this blog for the exclusive purpose of scoffing at persons who are being subjected to organized stalking and electronic harassment.”

“Your entire view on the twin towers and WTC 7 is EPIC FAIL. Stored and kinetic energy are equal. The buildings cannot fail in this manner and with this speed without assistance.Here in Sweden, this is taught in school when you are 14-15 years old (kinetic and stored/potential energy). Congratulations. You’ve destroyed your entire 9/11-section and for that matter much of the rest of your blog by failing to apply one of the most basic principles of physics.”

“You are an idiot at best. That is why you’re a housewife. But maybe you’re right, let’s just stay in denial about reality, even though everything is documented. It is so much easier to keep shopping, watch TV, and go back to sleep…What a bunch of fools. At some point though you’ll be forced to wake up. And you’ll e begging your leaders for help, but it’s not going to come.”

“You can believe or not but I knew lots of info that Dr. Deagles said and proofed. After I saw his interwies I just can’t beleive that there are more people that know all those facts. You just don’t know and you try to deny it. At first read the Bible, but i’m sure that you just don’t understand what is written there becouse it’s written ‘That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them’ You can believe what you want to beleive but I know in whom I believe.”

“I agree with much of what you have said SME, however I know from my own experience that we humans are evolving and are capable of abilities that the average person is not. I am 54 years old so I am no Indigo Child, but over the past 5 years I have discovered that I am capable of thought transfer/telepathy. I have picked up the thoughts of people around me and I have discovered that I can also send my thoughts to other people. When this happens, I respond verbally to people who I have picked up their thoughts. It blows their mind because they did not verbally speak a word to me.”

From LikaValentino: “You are carrying as posting my name on your site, so a federal complaint has been filed against you.. by me…, and than next time pay close attention to my age in the picture on the site and my name with that face should not have been placed on your 30ish age site with no name…, you heard it correctly on the state of an address to the Nations…, you should have done your homework also in addition before you spoke of me by illegal use of my name on your site…,”

My reply to LikaValentino: “Pleasing to learn of the some of the England language before the time you have of complaining. My understanding of the words of which you have write is difficult.Also to learn of law, for which the posting of names and the linking of sites is not incorrect in the law.”

“What a Bullshit of story, desperate Canadian Housewife! ^^Bob Lazar is no hoaxer.”

“Bruce [Goldberg] is a fake because he claims to have tele ported to a tropical beach and back on the art bell coast to coast show when asked to come here in Thailand for a seminar we are paying 30,000 dollars U.S he said the flight will be expensive we said what BETTER WAY TO PROVE YOUR THESIS ON TELE PORTATION than to tele port here and save the flight cost and as he is a true fake he declined these little Jewish money grabbers have no limits as to what they will go to get money and the gullible Americans lap it up like a thirsty cat presented with a plate of milk NO WONDER AMERICA IS IN SUCH DEEP SH*T”

“Keep reinforcing each others pseudointellectual analysis of affairs from your skeptical ‘common sense’ point of view. Don’t worry, the US isn’t being destroyed from the top down. The Protocols aren’t happening word for word and International Banking, who’s members don’t worship the same deity you do want whats best for you. Your the ones that will hit the fan first, because you remind me of the people who laughed at the Peter Schiffs of the world in early ’08.”

from “Shecky blue”: “hey fuckface since when do buildings being on fire make them fall down? you fucking piece of slimeat least the fuckers who did it got money and the US military duped what do you get out of it? a smirk on your face as you mentally masturbate yourself? you probably get the same smirk when you count past four go fukk yourself”

“Such a blatant display of guilt by association. You imply that since Mr. [Ahmadinejad] wears a Walmart jacket all the time (plus his other rep and image issues), then the 9-11 truth movements is nuts.”

“Now as far as the silly comments you made in regards to Chem-Trails, at this time September 11, 2012 I would like to give you the opportunity to retract your statements. As maybe, when you posted it the main stream media was not reporting on it. (and not in the ha ha sense.) If you find it is to much to fathom that the country of Canada is filled with Tyranny,you should read more news papers and not believe everything that oblong box in the corner of your home tells you is real. I am just trying to help you break away from the brainwashing, that the schools, the government and so many others have apparently achieved.”

from Minister Dante Fortson: “I find it interesting that you would write a post about the Nephilim while admitting that you didn’t even pay attention to the radio show. As the lady above stated, you should do some research. The Nephilim were the offspring of fallen angels and human women. The church completely changed the teaching on this in the 3rd Century. It’s historical fact, not something made up.”

On the Paul is Dead hoax: “This theory makes sense on so many levels, and IT FEELS RIGHT ON, and single-handedly EXPLAINS SO MUCH WHICH WAS PREVIOUSLY A MYSTERY, that essentially, it must be true…so, though it is irritating for people to want to make a profit off of such a tragic tale, and further complicate matters by blatantly lying, it is a good thing that this theory / fact is being brought to more and more peoples’ attention. I want to know the Truth. And if this is true, it means that Faul, and George, and Ringo, and George Martin, and Mal, and Neil, and whoever, and JOHN, ARE ALL LIKE JUDAS.” 

“One person commented that McCartney’s children look a lot like him, so does that mean they had plastic surgery as well??? To Answer that question: no you f@$%*^g moron, Faul/aka William Campbell did win the look alike contest, so that shows he had enough naturally born physical features to closely resemble the original/real Paul McCartney, and therefore if he had children they could very well look similar to their father, just like their father looked when compared to the real Paul.”

“This is the biggest bunch of lies on someone I have ever seen .. Don’t believe this .. They are devils..Even if he is a wacko you are spreading false info on here . Freemasons come on do your research . They are Not good people .. You are a Liar you have no facts to back up this information.. Your attacking the messenger .. Listen to the message .. The Satanist Devil Worshiping Gnostic Anti_ Christ God Men Are Real They hate Any one who exposes there Lies They will kill anyone in there way.”

“Now I KNOW for sure you’re just like that idiot QuackWatch guy. What do you know about fasting? Zilch, obviously, from your ignorant comment re 40-day fasts. It is NOT dangerous & people do it all the time (water only fasting). ..Seriously, you really should keep your opinions to subjects you actually know something about. Otherwise, you come across as an ignorant dummie. Are you one of those meat & potatoes gals who thinks they will die without 3 square meals a day? You’ve got a lot to learn Missy.”

from Ed Chiarini: “AGAIN, just like every other time you attempt to tell your readers my position, you miss quote and misrepresent along with just plain out fabricate your content. On top of that you dont even offer links to THE REAL evidence that I present on Wellaware1.com. But thats what you anonyPUSS frauds do. You dont have the balls to use your real name and stand behind what you believe because you dont believe it you are told what to write by the rest of your Greenberg family members. I piss on your site, and if you had any bit of intestinal fortitude to stand by your words, you too.”

“Well, first of all Mormons are god seekers and god makers . They are an occult organisation bar none. This is who you get with Mitt Romney. A secret society of witches who’s creed is to behead all none believers just as the Muslims believe and do.”

“Typical someone EXPOSING darkness & someone sent to defend it & say that the person is lying crazy absurd & so on!!! That’s how the illuminati work they do that to plenty ppl before they kill them that are exposing their evil plans! But the reason those ppl die is because they aren’t saved.”

“Since I don’t know [Stephen] Dollins personally I can’t say the accuracy of what he is saying but I can confirm that Christians hold great power in the blood and name of Jesus. I was once trying to do a seance at my birthday party and I couldn’t because there was a Christian praying against it. I can also back up his claims about fairies since a girl came to school one day to to teach on Wicca and she shared that fairies were used for their practices. You can bury your head in a hole but the truth is witchcraft is real but Jesus’ power is stronger so I serve Him.”

“I agree with the previous ‘anonymous’. I once invoked a third level demon to help me levitate, but I didn’t know there was a religious leaflet on my doorstep.The power of that leaflet was so great that I couldn’t lift off.”

“Actually Harry Potter’s life mirrors that of satanist Aleister Crowley quite a bit. also the author admits that she got all the characters automatically out of knowhere (aka similar to automatic writing) occultism is satanic and that’s it..and anything that deals with supernatural and magic can get kids interested in witchcraft at a young age…even if it take a while before they experiment; it’s still planting the seed. Far from harmless…”

“No their right in front of us discription reptilian like humanoids ( snake like) human that acts like snake but brain washing and hyptnotizing that’s not illuminati thats government and politics and the church. For the people by the people if you dont do what they want they lock you up. Come on overnight new laws for real and when was the vote here in my City they’ve decided to build a customs office and no one voted for it. Guess what its not jobs for us there givin them go the foriegners and we are no where near a border. There opening a super highway. We have to pay tbe taces [the taxes?] for this custom office here on Kansas City and we didnt even get to vote.”

“Alex Jones pushed the TSA issue until the Drudge Report picked up the story- now its everywhere. Hooray!
Those pervs at TSA and higher up need to be removed. Jones aims the infogun and here someone tries to knock it out of his hand. Down with TSA naked body scanners. This is just an attempt to break our will. Saviour Jones beats up on the molester gang, if you are against him you are for the perverts, if one had been wildly successful awhile back and knocked Jones down then the TSA thuggery would be marching on largely unopposed, we might win due to Jones and despite you. Shame on you TSA enabler. 
They cant make us safe – five or six jujitsu kung fu terrorists can take a plane with just their bare hands”

“Jones battles the gate-rapers and shredders of Posse Comitatus, while you cherry pick him, thus you are a gate raping enabler.”

from “PilotDave”: “There is way too much evidence of a global takeover than a FEMA camp… even without the FEMA camps, tons of folks, not Alex Jones are catching on to HAARP and Chemtrails… without being in anyway involved with any Alex Jones information. 
So enjoy the aluminum oxide… as a pilot, I see it occasionally.
Thank you for your non-chalante and humorous attitude to the horrible things that are happening to our plaent and species. 
Enjoy your stem cell meat!”

from Sakeeta Rosen: “You are so wrong about everything. you stupid sheep will never wake up. Why would the cartoonist be thrown in jail, when the court system is just as corrupt? They are the ones helping cover everything up.
You are so stupid. The president is part of it, the media is part of it, all celebrities are part of it, all government people are part of it, all doctors, all dentists, all police. EVERYONE
when will you all fucking get that? OH you wont. Maybe you will when FEMA takes your pathetic asses.”

“adam lanza is not dead. cause he never existed. he’s the brother ryan. they took photo of ryan and like photoshopped it a bit to look like an insane man or some kid.
these guys love using doubles, they love playing ‘dress up’ and they can’t fool people.”

from “Shawmick”: “How many sheeples surf the internet? I think almost 70% of internet viewers are sheeples. Every genuine UFO disclosure evidence/video will have a profusion of profane comments of disbelievers. How to make them believe? I think their great grand-children will make them believe (the hard way).”

Ed Chiarini again: “Do you think you are the first to attempt to call me a liable name? 
You are nothing more then the toilet paper I wipe my ass with then flush along with the rest of those I ate for breakfast.
You game, or are you just another road hump? burp.”

from “Newspaceman”: “Once you have read [James Shelby Downard’s “King Kill 33º”]…what do you make of Prince Harry visiting Hurricane Sandy’s remains today, whilst David Cameron (British Prime Minister) visits Boston. Given today, May 14th, is the anniversary of the founding of Jamestown – the first UK colony in the USA, named after James 1st (and 6th of Scotland) – the Bible reviser? (I can expand, being Scottish)”

from “Sherlock”: “Too many paid government shill confuse-bots posting in this thread.”

Sandy Hook Truth, 9 months later

It has been about seven months since I first looked at the Sandy Hook Truth movement, an assortment of individuals who believe they have uncovered evidence of labyrinthine conspiracies behind the Newtown, Connecticut school massacre.
These intrepid investigators have had nearly nine months to crack the case wide open and tell us who really did the crime, and why. Let’s take a look at what they’ve found by comparing/contrasting aspects of the “official story” with some of their results. After that, I’ll list the Sandy Hook Truth movement’s best evidence.

The Official Story

On the morning of December 14, 2012, 20-year-old Adam Lanza shot and killed his mother, Nancy Lanza, in the home they shared in Newtown, Connecticut. He then drove his mother’s Honda Civic to Sandy Hook Elementary School with four semi-automatic firearms licensed to Nancy. He took three of the guns with him when he entered the school.
Using a  Bushmaster XM15-E2S rifle, he shot his way into the locked building at approximately 9:35 AM local time. Between that time and about 9:49 AM, he killed principal Dawn Hochsprung, school psychologist Mary Sherlach, teacher Natalie Hammond, first-grade teacher Victoria Soto, teacher’s aide Anne Marie Murphy, substitute first-grade teacher Lauren Rousseau, and 20 students who were 6 years old or younger. 6-year-old Dylan Hockley was autistic. Lanza shot all but two of his child victims multiples times; 6-year-old Noah Pozner was shot 11 times. All of the staff members died trying to stop the gunman or shield their students. Ms. Murphy covered Dylan Hockley’s body with her own. Throughout the school, teachers and faculty members hid children in closets and bathrooms, thereby saving an untold number of lives. 
Six children fled Ms. Soto’s classroom and escaped from the school, making their way to the driveway of a home owned by Gene Rosen.
Before police could reach him, Lanza returned to Soto’s classroom and shot himself in the head with  a Glock 10mm.
His motivation remains obscure, but Lanza reportedly suffered mental and emotional problems that left him socially isolated and unable to work full-time or complete college. Around the time of the massacre, Nancy Lanza told friends she was considering leaving New England and attempting to enroll Adam in college for a third time.
Adam had access to the weapons because his mother was an avid collector who had taught both of her sons how to shoot.

The Truther Stories

The most popular alternate theory of Sandy Hook, by far, is that it was a government operation engineered to push through restrictive gun legislation, psychologically destabilize Americans, make blood sacrifices to the Devil, and/or distract us from “more important” things that are happening.
Some Sandy Hook Truthers agree with the general outline of the official story, but suspect Lanza was a victim of government-sponsored mind control (according to one Truther, Lanza’s mind control programming could be linked to Satanism, the Illuminati and Lady Gaga).
Some Truthers think Lanza may have had accomplices, and this is not completely unsupported speculation, as Connecticut State’s Attorney Stephen Sedensky did mention other “potential suspects” when arguing that unsealing warrants in the case could compromise the investigation.
Other Truthers have floated the idea that the shooter was not Adam Lanza, but a man named Scott Vollmer. Vollmer was apparently singled out because his mother Janet taught kindergarten at Sandy Hook, and the school nurse seemingly confirmed to a reporter that the shooter’s mother taught kindergarten at the school (see “The Nurse” under Best Evidence, below). Also, Vollmer is said to be an event manager for New York mayor Michael Bloomberg, a vocal advocate for increased gun control. In reality, Vollmer was a director of special events for Bloomberg TV’s catering company, Flik International. Not exactly the guy you would handpick as an assassin.
Other alternative suspects include: A three-man Israeli hit team, the FBI, three people in a purple van, and men in the woods (whom Truthers have still not identified; see “The Man in the Woods” under Best Evidence).
But not all Truthers buy into the notion of alternate suspects. For example, YouTube user “ReviewManify” has posted a video titled “There Is No Shooter” in which he discusses – and dismisses – the Vollmer theory before telling us that there is no evidence that even one child died in Sandy Hook Elementary. Funerals and grieving parents notwithstanding, “There ain’t no proof of that.” So, no shooter. Problem…solved?
Florida professor James Tracy came under heavy criticism when he suggested basically the same thing on his Memory Hole blog, but he later clarified in an interview with Miami’s WLRN that he believes some people died at Newtown. He went on to publish his Sandy Hook articles on the website of Global Research, a Canadian outfit that has also declared the Srebrenica massacre a hoax and argued that Rwanda was really a massacre against Hutus, not Tutsis.
There are also Truthers who have argued that Adam Lanza does not exist and Sandy Hook was not actually a school.
The idea that no one died at Sandy Hook has led to the harassment of several people involved in the tragedy. The first person to come under heavy attack from Sandy Hook Truthers, strangely enough, was not a city official or a government agent. He was Gene Rosen, the retired grandfather who sheltered six escaped kids in his house until their parents arrived. For reasons I can’t even begin to fathom, some Truthers decided Mr. Rosen was not only an actor portraying a helpful Newtown resident, but could also be a pedophile, a liar, and/or a government agent. He has allegedly been harassed and slandered by conspiranoids who think he’s a paid “crisis actor” or a Satanist. The anti-Semitic wing of the Sandy Hook Truth movement is certain that Gene Rosen’s ethnicity is a key to his involvement. A YouTube user posted a music video about “creepy Gene”, to the tune of The Monkees’ “Daydream Believer”. Rosen has also reportedly received threats on his life. Yet not one shred of real evidence has been presented to back up any of these slurs. Truthers tried to prove that Rosen was a professional actor, but that turned out to be a different Gene Rosen.
The official Sandy Hook investigation is ongoing, and the final report may not be released until late autumn. But by the end of February, there was already a bumper crop of Sandy Hook conspiracy documentaries online, including Mark Howitt’s Sandy Hook: The Documentary, “Sandy Hook Massacre: A Closer Look” by Tina Charby (one of several Truthers who has pointed out “suspicious nuns” at Sandy Hook), and Sandy Hook Shooting: Fully Exposed  by “ThinkOutsidetheTV”. That last one went viral, resulting in a long Snopes entry. Press TV (Iran state television) had already decided that Israelis were probably to blame, as had retired professor and conspiracy researcher James Fetzer and the bizarro “anti-Zionist” publication Veterans Today (see Fetzer’s article “Did Mossad Death Squads Slaughter American Children at Sandy Hook?“).
The rush to judgment spawned countless red herrings, like the rumour that Adam Lanza’s father, Peter, was scheduled to testify on the Libor banking scandal at the time of the massacre (here is an example of that rumour in action, from an Infowars forum user). It turned out that Peter Lanza, a GE exec, had no link to the scandal. Max Keiser.com and Occupy Corporatism were among the alternative media outlets that worked to squash this rumour, alleging that it originated with Sorcha Faal, the same peculiar conspiracy-monger who was behind one of the least credible conspiracy theories about Michael Jackson’s death. Another red herring was that Nancy Lanza’s car was actually registered to a man named Christopher Rodia. Truthers went crazy connecting Rodia-Lanza dots (Andrew S. MacGregor even made the Rodia vehicle the linchpin of his FBI-did-Sandy-Hook theory) until blogger Joe Quinn helpfully pointed out that police-scanner references to Rodia had nothing to do with Sandy Hook.

Best evidence

I’m going to leave out the sillier evidence, like the Batman/Sandy Hook connection and the Freemasonic links and the allegations of Satanic ritual sacrifice.

Gun grab
The gun theory of Sandy Hook, which is definitely the most popular one out there, posits that the Powers That Be are so desperate to dismantle the Second Amendment and disarm the people that they stage mass shootings to help ramp up popular support for restrictive firearm legislation.
If that’s the case, then Sandy Hook was a miserable failure. The massacre actually mobilized the pro-gun community, and bills to restrict sales of semiautomatic weaponry and legislate tougher background checks for prospective gun buyers were shot down. In the end, cries of “gun confiscation” were cries of wolf.
There’s no question that elements of both the pro- and the anti-gun lobbies have exploited Sandy Hook and the Aurora incident, but there’s no smoking-gun evidence (no pun) that anyone engineered the massacre just to take away guns. By this logic, any incident involving firearms could be a staged event. And that’s exactly what “media lookalike” proponent Ed Chiarini of Dallas believes; he has stated that not one of the school shootings in the U.S. was a real event. Each and every one was faked.

Actors
The “actor” theory of Sandy Hook holds that no one actually died. The whole thing was an exquisitely stage-managed fake event in which crisis actors and/or other professional performers were hired to portray bereaved family members, eyewitnesses, and even shooting victims.
No one has managed to locate the bogus Sandy Hook students and their families. Are they in Witness Protection? Underground bunkers? Ed Chiarini believes some of them have gone back to work as actors, athletes, and performers. For instance, Robbie Parker (father of 6-year-old victim Emilie Parker) is actually skateboarder Tony Hawk, and the late Emilie is an “actress” who has also “portrayed” the daughters of Bachelorette contestant Emily Maynard and Taylor Armstrong of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Adam’s Lanza’s father, Peter, is really comedian Michael McDonald from MADtv. The part of Lt. J. Paul Vance was played by John Goodman. You get the drift. You can see more of this weirdity on Chiarini’s website.
Henry Makow, a Canadian who used to call his conspiracy site “Save the Males”, believes he can spot the actors’ “handlers” by what kind of purses they carry.
However, many Truthers, like Mark Howitt, dismiss the actor theories as absurd and divisive. Some of them have even become casualties of the theories; Dan Dicks of the Canadian alternative media outlet Press for Truth says he was accused of being a Crisis Actor at one point, and Ed Chiarini has proposed that Sonia of the Truther Girls conspiracy radio show is played by 30 Rock actress Tina Fey. In the description for one of her Sandy Hook-related videos, Sonia sensibly points out that no actor would be foolish enough to impersonate a grieving parent on national television – he/she would instantly be outed by relatives or acquaintances, and if not, recognized during auditions. There goes his/her career. In another Sandy Hook video, Sonia opines that the actor theory provides an easy target for those who wish to undermine Sandy Hook trutherism; who in their right mind is going to believe the Truthers if they go around insisting that Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmedinejad is really Henry Winkler?
Other Truthers, like James Fetzer, are willing to entertain and promote the actor theory without necessarily embracing it. As I have mentioned in my previous posts on Chiarini, I suspect “actor-based reality” theories may be rooted in the Fregoli delusion or something similar.

Sealed case documents and unreleased evidence
This is a prime example of the fallacy that if you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. Nearly every Sandy Hook Truther has complained at some point in the last nine months that case evidence is being withheld or isn’t being released quickly enough; the authorities must either be hiding it to conceal “what really happened”, or the evidence simply doesn’t exist because nothing happened.
But it is not just the big bad authorities who don’t want the evidence released. The parents of at least three of the child victims have campaigned to prevent case evidence such as crime scene photos from being made public. Dylan Hockley’s mother, Nicole Hockley, said to a Hartford press conference, “What purpose would releasing these documents serve? The shooter is dead and in terms of checking first-responder procedures they have all the information they need. The media won’t learn anything either. I will defend this as long as possible.” Her husband Ian Hockley, Mark and Jackie Barden, and Jimmy Greene and Nelba Marquez-Greene joined her in signing a petition to block the release of certain information related to the murders of their children, including 911 calls. In a letter to the Hartford Courant, Dean Pinto (father of 6-year-old victim Jack Pinto) also urged that the photos and calls not be made public.

If you have to wonder why parents would want to keep crime scene photos and case documents out of the hands of the media, think back to the JonBenet Ramsey case. Did the media use discretion in their handling of autopsy photos and 911 calls? The Globe tabloid triumphantly published six leaked autopsy photos, in full colour. Would you like to see death photos of your murdered child, or friend, or niece, as you stand in line at the grocery store or flip through channels?

The nurse
An unassuming school nurse named Sally Cox has become a central figure in Sandy Hook conspiracy theories.
Because of a large divorce settlement and her son’s educational needs (Adam was mostly homeschooled), Nancy Lanza was not employed. Nonetheless, there were (erroneous) reports that she worked as a schoolteacher. This led to a great deal of confusion in the wake of her son’s spree killings, because there were (erroneous) reports that she was (or had been) employed as a kindergarten teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary. There were even (erroneous) reports that Nancy had called in sick that day, and Adam targeted the class she usually taught. Later, there were reports that Nancy may have been a volunteer teacher’s aide for Adam’s class at the school, years earlier.
On the night of December 14, WUSA reporter Andrea McCarren approached Ms. Cox and asked her if she knew the shooter’s mother. Cox affirmed that she did. McCarren then asked her if his mother was known to be a good kindergarten teacher, and Ms. Cox said that she was a very loving woman, good with the children.
Her response truly is a bit baffling, because we now know that Nancy Lanza never worked as a teacher at all, anywhere (she was a stockbroker back in the ’90s). Nor has it been confirmed that she volunteered at Sandy Hook when Adam was enrolled there. It’s quite possible that Cox knew Nancy, but that has never been confirmed, either. Truthers would pounce on this flawed report and some minor inconsistencies in Cox’s accounts of that day, but what does any of it prove? Even if the school nurse lied about knowing Nancy Lanza and/or seeing the gunman – and I’m certainly not saying she did – that would not be evidence of conspiracy.
Another red herring popped up when Truthers revealed that no one named Sally Cox was registered as a nurse in the state, not knowing that “Sally” is an old-fashioned nickname for “Sarah”. Sarah Cox is, indeed, a fully-qualified and registered nurse in the state of Connecticut, and has been employed at Sandy Hook for over 15 years.

The guns and inaccurate media reports 
Initially, there was a lot of confusion as to which guns Lanza used, and where they were found. Sandy Hook Truthers hold up a few apparent discrepancies in the earliest media reports as solid evidence that the entire official story is a sham, ignoring the fact that early reports are often inaccurate. At first, Adam’s older brother Ryan (who was not even in Newtown on the morning of December 14) was reported to be the shooter (which helped spawn conspiracy theories, of course).
There has been extensive analysis of the media gaffes and spectacularly shoddy reporting that occurred in the hours after the massacre (see, for instance, Paul Farhi’s piece in the Washington Post). In my opinion, the bad reporting on that day serves as evidence against a cover-up, because a massive conspiracy would have micromanaged the media, feeding reporters carefully selected tidbits. Instead, it was the usual media free-for-all, with news outlets so desperate to get something – anything – into print or on the air that they seized upon rumours heard from bystanders, statements taken from traumatized witnesses, and other unreliable sources. This is reflective of a general decline in media standards, as far as I’m concerned, but that’s a whole other post.
Some early reports indicated that only two guns had been found inside the school; this was later amended to three guns, with a fourth left in Nancy Lanza’s car. To make things more confusing, some reports stated all four guns were inside the school, and NBC’s Today Show reported that Lanza shot his victims only with handguns.
These early-report errors were soon straightened out, but the Sandy Hook Truthers continue to use them as a foundation rock of their theories. You can see an example of this in a Veterans Today article by Jim Fetzer and Dennis Cimino, in which they highlight “the Bushmaster hoax”.

Emilie Parker’s Dad
Robbie Parker has been raked over the coals by every Sandy Hook Truther on the planet. Why? Because he laughed, and then cried, at a press conference. That’s pretty much it. He was laughing at something when he approached the mic to speak about his murdered 6-year-old daughter, but within seconds he was weeping and speaking emotionally about what his family was going through. Truthers decided this was a performance. Some even suggested that Emilie wasn’t dead at all; she posed with the President days later (this was actually Madeline Parker, one of Emilie’s two younger sisters).
While excoriating the rest of us for buying into the media’s epic lies, Truthers have whittled the entire spectrum of human emotion down to “sad” and “not sad” – if you exhibit both, you’re screwed. You will be permanently branded a member of the conspiracy. This has happened not just to Robbie Parker, but to several other parents of Sandy Hook victims. The Sandy Hook Hoax website maintained by Jay “New Age Messiah” Johnson has an entire page dedicated to exposing them.
For those who accept the “crisis actors” theory, there is an intriguing paradox here: Wouldn’t professional actors be more convincing than actual grief-stricken people? An actor would already be in character before the cameras even started rolling. Authentic emotion, however, obeys no such rules. Many times, I have seen tears and laughter at funerals and memorial services.
Like the actor theory, this “not sad enough” line of reasoning doesn’t cut it with all Truthers. Sonia of the Truther Girls observed in one of her Sandy Hook videos that it’s difficult to judge people’s emotional responses to the loss of a child, particularly if we haven’t experienced such loss ourselves.

The coroner
Truthers like James F. Tracy point to the answers given by Connecticut Chief Medical Examiner H. Wayne Carver during a December 15, 2012 press conference (see video below)  as proof that he didn’t really do a thorough job of examining the victims’ bodies, if he did so at all. An editor at Global Research finds it “startling” that Carver only conducted seven of the autopsies himself, though it is far from unusual for assistant coroners to do autopsies, particularly when there are mass deaths.
Carver’s answers are rather peculiar, and his behaviour strikes me as awkward and odd, but there’s nothing here that can’t be chalked up to fatigue, and/or a reluctance to reveal information that the police didn’t want to reveal yet. From Carver’s comments, it seems he has had some bad experiences with courtroom testimony in the past and is painfully aware that committing yourself publicly to anything can have serious repercussions. For instance, he knows it would be improper to speculate about the weapons, since that isn’t technically within his field of expertise. Truthers make much of his statement that he doesn’t know if the children were standing or seated when they were struck, but without knowing the layout of the classrooms and the relative positions of the shooter and the victims, that’s not something that can always be determined at autopsy.
In keeping with his “crisis actors” theory, Ed Chiarini attempted to prove that H. Wayne Carver is actually the late “Mafia hitman” Richard “Ice Man” Kuklinski, who died in prison in 2006.


The man in the woods
This is one of the genuine enigmas in the case. A WABC news helicopter captured footage of at least one adult male, dressed in camouflage, dashing through a wooded area close to the school, being pursued by police officers. This occurred around 12:24, over two and a half hours after the shooting stopped, according to the ABC News timeline of events. Who was this man?
We know that there were at least two arrests at the school immediately after the shootings – Chris Manfredonia, father of a first-grade student, was apprehended near the school and briefly detained. He reportedly said he was en route to his daughter’s classroom when he heard shooting, so he remained outside the building. A second unidentified man was also briefly detained, and police determined him to be a bystander, according to Snopes. Either of these individuals could be the man that one student reportedly saw handcuffed on the ground near the school.

But the man in the woods remains an unknown. According to the last sentence of a December 27 article in the Newtown Bee, a law enforcement source stated the man in the woods had a gun and was an off-duty tactical squad (SWAT) officer from “another town”. No Truthers have confirmed this, nor have they uncovered the man’s identity, so we have no idea why he was there or why he was apparently running away from police. One witness, seen in this video, told a reporter that he and other observers saw a handcuffed man in camo pants being led out of the woods and placed in a police car. Was this Camo Man, or someone else?
One theory holds that Manfredonia is Camo Man, but why he would be fleeing into the woods has not been explained.

Adam Lanza’s death certificate and inaccurate date stamps
Truthers accessed an electronic version of Adam Lanza’s death certificate (the Social Security Death Index Record) via geneology websites like Ancestry.com and Geneology Bank, and breathlessly reported that Lanza died on December 13…one day before the massacre. Truthers like Jeffrey Phelps are aware that this date is probably a typographical error that might not even exist on the original document, but that doesn’t stop them from presenting it as evidence.

One of the most popular pieces of Truther evidence is that some of the webpages created on behalf of Sandy Hook families seem to have existed prior to the shootings. For example, the United Way Sandy Hook support fund was created three days before the massacre, according to the Google timestamp. But as a Salon article points out, wonky timestamps are more the rule than the exception; one Fox News article on Sandy Hook is dated by Google as having been published in 1983. That’s 13 years before Fox News existed, and 9 years before Adam Lanza was born. Also, webpages are sometimes repurposed.

The drill
Since 9/11, conspiracy researchers have embraced Webster Tarpley’s theory (outlined in his book 9/11 Synthetic Terror: Made in USA) that training exercises and drills conducted by law enforcement and military personnel are sometimes used to mask false flag attacks. They will point to training exercises that occurred in proximity to a real event as evidence that someone in authority knew all about it in advance. During a January 18 interview on The Alex Jones Show, for instance, James Tracy said the Newtown massacre was a “drill that went live”. Holocaust revisionist Nick Kollerstrom, in a Veterans Today piece written with Fetzer, attempted to draw parallels between Sandy Hook and the 7/7 bombings in London, another “drill that went live”. Somewhat paradoxically, Kollerstrom opens his article by introducing the possibility that the Newtown shootings didn’t actually happen.

Here’s the deal: On the day of the Sandy Hook shootings, an “active shooter drill” was being conducted at a school in the community of Carmel, New York, by the Putnam County Emergency Response Team (ERT), a unit comprised of specially-trained officers from the sheriff’s office and two area police departments (Carmel and Kent).  This, presumably, is the drill that Tracy contends “went live”.
But that doesn’t seem to be the case at all. Two days after Sandy Hook, the Southeast Brewster Patch newspaper reported that the drill was part of regular ERT training, and that the Putnam County ERT commander had phoned Newtown police to offer ERT assistance at the school. He was told the ERT would not be needed, since police had already secured the scene. Nonetheless, Truthers insist the ERT must have been involved. The team even plays a key role in an alternate timeline of Sandy Hook events compiled by Andrew S. MacGregor – though McGregor doesn’t present any actual evidence documenting ERT presence at the scene, because his scenario is wholly speculative.

Truthers have also responded negatively to a FEMA course offered under the auspices of the Division of Emergency Management and Homeland Security (part of Connecticut’s Division of Emergency Services and Public Protection), titled “Planning for the Needs of Children in Disasters”, that was held six times in November and December 2012, including on the day of the Sandy Hook shootings. Frankly, I don’t know what this has to do with the massacre. The course deals not just with school violence, but with natural disasters, fires, and other emergency situations that could befall any school at any time. I view this as another red herring.

Henry Makow and others have catalogued “evidence” that Sandy Hook was part of some other, unspecified, drill.

The Bottom Line

The Sandy Hook Truthers will continue their investigative efforts, but this will probably be the last post I devote solely to their results. I have five good reasons for this:

1. Twenty children and six women are dead, beyond question. Adam Lanza is dead, beyond question. Nancy Lanza is dead, beyond question. I have not seen any persuasive evidence that the key figures in the investigation are not who they say they are. Keep in mind that hoaxes involving even one fake person always collapse under their own weight. Look at the Manti Te’o girlfriend hoax, the Kuwaiti incubator babies fraud, and the Catfish case; they were all exposed by just a few diligent people within weeks.
2. The Second Amendment is firmly intact.
3. The noise-to-signal ratio is incredibly high in the world of Sandy Hook Truth. Red herrings vastly outnumber genuine leads. After nine months, we still don’t have viable alternate suspects, smoking-gun evidence of a conspiracy, or anything else of substance. The majority of the Truthers have never been to Connecticut and have not spoken to anyone close to the case.
4. Truthers working in multiple countries have not yet supplied answers to the few unanswered questions that remain about the tragedy. If they can’t even figure out who Camo Man was, I doubt they could expose an epic false flag operation.
5. Bizarre, groundless conspiracy theories pop up after every mass shooting, as I discussed in another post.

Wednesday Weirdness Roundup: Extra-Stoopid Edition

satanfarts

It’s good to be back. My ThinkPad finally succumbed to a series of long-term ailments two weeks ago (Hans has a computer, but can’t type with cloven hoofs. I think he just uses it for porn). I’ve now replaced it.
So. On with the weirdness.

  • Folks love a good feral child story. Probably because feral child stories combine three of the things we want most in our Pixar films hard-hitting news coverage: Kids, the triumph of the human spirit, and cute fluffy animals. Sadly, some of these stories are ridiculously bogus. Amala and Kamala, the Bengalese girls raised by wolves, were actually urchins “rescued” by a minister who wanted to promote his missionary work (the famous photos of the wolf-girls walking on all fours were taken years after they died, using stand-ins). Misha Defonseca, the Belgian Holocaust survivor adopted by wolves at the age of 8, wasn’t even Jewish and spent the duration of the war safely ensconced in her grandpa’s house.
    Now we have Marina Chapman, a British national who claims in a new memoir that she was reared by monkeys in Colombia. She clambers up trees, makes monkey noises, and says it’s quite comfortable to scoot around on all fours. Supposedly, Marina was abducted from her family by two men around 1954, when she was 4 or 5 years old. One of them chloroformed her as she played in her yard, and she was taken to a remote area somewhere near the Venezuela-Colombia border. Then her kidnappers simply dumped her in the rainforest for no obvious reason, never to return.
    Marina says she gradually came to be accepted – even loved – by a troop of Capuchin monkeys, and survived by mimicking their behaviour and scooping up their dropped bananas. The monkeys groomed her and led her to water when she was sick, but the relationship Marina describes strikes me as one of tolerance rather than affection.
    Marina says she was rescued by hunters around age 9, only to be sold into sexual slavery in exchange for a parrot. She ran away from the brothel to become a street kid in Cúcuta, stealing food until she was saved again, this time by a family of “notorious” gangsters that treated her like a household slave. Finally, she was adopted by a decent family that migrated to England in the late ’70s. Marina settled down and raised a large family while working as a chef at the National Media Museum in Bradford.
    At this point, no one knows exactly who the hell Marina Chapman is. She says she can’t remember her name, or where she lived prior to the age of 4. She doesn’t recall her birth family at all, in fact. Her daughter Vanessa, who helped her write the memoir, hopes someone in Venezuela or Colombia will step forward to identify her.
    Aside from the obvious parallels with the wolf-girl hoaxes, there are a few other reasons to question Marina’s story. First of all, her memoir reads like a serial melodrama from the early 1900s. It’s The Perils of Pauline meets Tarzan, with absurdly evil villains lurking around every corner, scheming to trap the innocent monkey-girl. Secondly, Marina claims she totally lost the ability to speak Spanish during her time in the jungle, yet regained it with ease some 6 years later. How likely is it that Marina basically learned to speak for the first time as a pre-adolescent, without assistance? She would be the first feral kid to pull that off. Thirdly, she recalls the details of her abduction remarkably well…but she can’t remember a single thing about the family she left behind on the very same day? This whole thing smells.
    And speaking of smells…
  • The city of Quincy, Massachusetts is experiencing some rather weird shit. Perhaps literally. For the past several weeks, citizens have been complaining of sulfurous, noxious odours wafting through town, and at night they’re observing overflights of a mysterious plane they can’t quite identify. Theories range from ZOMG ALIENS to ZOMG CHEMTRAILS, though there doesn’t seem to be any direct link between the stink and the annoying plane. Also, the Patriot Ledger reported last week that the stench is probably coming from a malodorous brown algae, Pilayella littoralis.
  • If massive, non-human primates were roaming populated areas everywhere from Arizona to upstate New York, we would be finding copious signs of their existence; bones, poop, furballs, etc. But it seems Bigfoot only leave behind Blair Witch-style craft projects and magically vanishing corpses. About a week ago, a Bigfoot was supposedly shot and killed by an unnamed turkey hunter somewhere near Altoona, Pennsylvania, as overheard by a ham radio operator known only as Daniel C. This happened scarcely two weeks after the release of Shooting Bigfoot, a documentary about a 2012 Bigfoot murder in Texas. It includes footage of Rick Dyer luring a Sasquatch with some ribs, then shooting it (the Bigfoot stumbles off, fatally wounded, and is never seen again). Before that, in 2010, there was a double Bigfoot murder called the “Sierra Kills”. That incident produced a “Bigfoot steak” that may or may not have been examined by Dr. Melba Ketchum as part of her bizarro Sasquatch DNA study, but the bodies themselves were never recovered. And no one has presented the Pennsylvania Bigfoot yet, either.
  • Alex Jones thinks a magical government weather machine may have caused the tornado that ripped through an Oklahoma City suburb, killing dozens and leaving hundreds homeless and injured. Jones hasn’t seen this mechanism, he can’t even begin to explain how it might function, and he didn’t produce the name of a single scientist or agency involved with its development. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t real.
    Looks like the Godlike Productions Forum guys have it all figured out, though…it was a HAARP tornado whipped up to distract us from government scandals. If so, it was kind of a bonehead move; the tornado itself is creating government scandals.
    Pat Robertson doesn’t know what caused the tornado, but he still says prayer can alter storm systems  if enough people join in. He doesn’t seem to realize what he’s revealing about himself, here. If he truly buys into this prayer-based weather manipulation deal, then he should park himself in front of the Weather Channel every single day and go on the air to tell his viewers to start praying for certain areas. The 700 Club has roughly 1 million viewers per day in the U.S. alone, and if half of them prayed under Robertson’s direction, he could theoretically prevent any tragedy from occurring ever again. Instead, he waits for a storm to hit and then gets all Dr. Brule on us, like, “Why didn’t you think of that, dum-dum?” From this we can infer one of two things: Pat Robertson is lazy, or he just doesn’t give a crap.
    Either way, he’s being a total dick.

Will Sandy Hook Conspiranoia Go Mainstream?

totallylegit

As reported last week by Salon, relatively normal people like twentysomething New Yorker Brendan Hunt are now embracing alternative Sandy Hook theories. They’re harassing interviewing witnesses, searching for other gunmen, and trying to tie the tragedy to secret societies and/or the military-industrial complex in any way possible.
Hunt is by no means a self-proclaimed messiah like Jay Johnson or a Fregoli delusion sufferer like Ed Chiarini. He’s smart, well-spoken, and…well…ordinary. With guys like him promoting Sandy Hook conspiranoia, Salon writer Alex Seitz-Wald argues, even more ordinary people will be persuaded to believe there’s “something not right” about the Newtown massacre.
The thing is, though, that Brendan Hunt already bought into some dodgy conspiracy theories before discovering Sandy Hook (Kurt Cobain was murdered, Illuminati stuff). He’s not exactly cut out to be a Pied Piper, leading the unsuspecting masses off to Kooklandia.
But Salon does have a valid point. Even the fringiest conspiracy theories do have a tendency to leach insidiously into the mainstream, like sludge from some ancient, poisoned well seeping into the ground water.

Here’s how weird conspiracy theories often work:

  1. Something notable happens.
  2. The media reports it, authorities investigate it, people talk about it, etc.
  3. Wingnuts crawl out of every hole to explain what really happened.
  4. Over time, the alternative theories become normalized, and relatively sane people feel comfortable embracing them, even though they still don’t make much sense.

This happened with the assassination of JFK and 9/11. It started with a handful of kooks suggesting that the dyslexic, troubled Lee Harvey Oswald was a crack CIA assassin, or that Israel’s Mossad engineered an aerial assault on America. Gradually, the theories metastasized into an ever-expanding industry of self-published books, seminars, conventions, documentaries, even Hollywood films. In the case of 9/11, entire social movements comprised of energetic young people sprouted from ideas that should, by all the laws of reason, have remained confined to the hidey-holes of a few eccentric curmudgeons. Today, most Americans believe JFK was the target of a conspiracy, and a vast number of people think there’s “something not right” about the 9/11 attacks. It can get to the point where conspiracists are considered skeptics or truth seekers, while anyone who insists on basing their conclusions on evidence are seen as naive, dishonest, or part of the conspiracy.

A few celebrity endorsements never hurt. When a daffy prosecutor decided in the late ’60s that Kennedy had been taken out by some sort of far-right lavender mafia, comedian Mort Sahl volunteered his services as a researcher, and Johny Carson welcomed him onto his show to unreel a barely-baked theory about fake railroad bums who turned out to be actual railroad bums. Yale-educated director Oliver Stone had no trouble recruiting an all-star cast for an execrable film that was supposed to expose the Warren Commission as a fraud.
A whole slew of celebs have publicly expressed support for 9/11 Truth: Rosie O’Donnell, the Sheen clan, Mos Def, David Lynch, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Willie Nelson.

Now we have Sandy Hook. While the Aurora massacre and countless other mass murders have spawned popular conspiracy theories, it’s Sandy Hook that really seems to have captured the hearts and imaginations of the conspiracy world. Let’s take a look at how the Sandy Hook conspiracy theories played out, using the model above:

  1. Adam Lanza allegedly entered Sandy Hook Elementary School In Newtown, Connecticut and opened fire, killing 20 children and 6 adults before shooting himself in the head.
  2. The story drew international media attention. Investigators concluded that Lanza likely acted on his own. There was a worldwide outpouring of sympathy and support for the families of victims , as well as a national outcry from people who wished to see assault weapons strictly controlled or banned in the U.S.
  3. Ed Chiarini, a Texas conspiranoid who believes everyone he sees in the media is actually someone else (the last pope was actually Robert Blake, John Stossel is actually Freddy Mercury, etc.), declared that some of the Newtown parents he saw on the news were actually actors hired by the government. A man calling himself New Age Messiah (real name Jay Johnson) set up a website called Sandy Hook Hoax to explain how the New World Order faked the entire massacre. An insanely popular video (since scrubbed from the Internet for copyright infringement) explained how a map of Gotham briefly displayed in The Dark Knight Rises “predictively programmed” the Newtown massacre. World Net Daily feebly attempted to link Lanza to devil worship, and speculated about a Satanic-cult conspiracy. Alex Jones stated on his radio show that the Sandy Hook massacre could be a government-staged event designed to usher in gun confiscation and draconian legislation (which he does after pretty much every massacre). Veteran JFK researcher and 9/11 Truther James Fetzer decided “Isreali death squads” were probably responsible. YouTube users created novelty songs and “documentaries” accusing rescuers, grieving parents, and investigators of being complicit in a massive conspiracy/cover-up.
    Most disturbingly, many of these people insist the murdered children are still alive.
  4. Fragments of “evidence”, such as an Ed Chiarini visual aid “proving” that two Newtown parents who appeared on news broadcasts are actually paid actors from Florida, began to pop up on social networking sites, divorced from their wider (crazier) context. Seen in isolation, some of this “evidence” can seem quite intriguing and persuasive. As more and more average people are exposed to these free-floating factoids that have landed in the public square, many of them will be persuaded to believe there’s “something not right” about the Newtown massacre. And a new conspiracy industry may be born. There aren’t any celebrity endorsements so far (Dick Gregory must be otherwise engaged), but if we don’t get a Vincent Bugliosi to nip this thing in the bud, we could soon be watching a 12-part History Channel series on The Men Who Did Sandy Hook.

Correction: Spoke too soon about Dick Gregory. Here he is explaining what really happened.

Wednesday Weirdness Roundup

Notamused

  • Off the Hook: Conspiracy theories about the shootings in Connecticut, if they can even be called “theories”, are starting to draw attention from mainstream newspapers, websites like Salon and Gawker, and TV reporters. I’ve talked a little about these theories (here, here, and at Leaving Alex Jonestown), but the Sandy Hook conspiracy meme is far more contagious than I realized. 8.5 million people have viewed a 30-minute YouTube video by anonymous user Think Outside the TV. It’s basically a mishmash of outdated information culled from early reports, misinformation, and the “media lookalike” nuttery of Ed Chiarini, the Texan who believes the Pope is actually Robert Blake. Among other weirdness, TOTV includes the “theory” that one of Adam Lanza’s victims, 6-year-old Emilie Parker, is not only alive and well, but met with the President for a public photo op after she was murdered.
    The media is critical of websites such as Sandy Hook Hoax, which was started by Jay Johnson. Johnson bills himself as the New Age Messiah, and boasts that he “solved LOST” with the aid of an Egyptian goddess. He has also written a screenplay about his life (or, as he likes to call it, the “greatest true story ever told”). His evidence for a grand Sandy Hook conspiracy is essentially the same as TOTV’s. He is quite indignant that family members don’t publicly cry enough for his satisfaction.
    But not everyone in the mainstream media is critical of the Sandy Hook theories. Ben Swann, an award-winning reporter with Cincinatti’s Fox affiliate, devoted a segment of his Full Disclosure Web series to the possibility that Newtown, Aurora, and the Sihk temple massacre involved more than one gunman, citing early interviews with non-eyewitnesses and footage of Newtown police chasing a suspect into the woods (this man turned out to be a parent, Chris Manfredonia, who may have fled the school). To Swann’s credit, he didn’t actually tack a theory to any of this. It’s interesting to note, though, that he has been a guest on The Alex Jones Show. Jones, as always, is at the forefront of conspiranoids who insist that nearly all mass shootings are false flag operations perpetrated by drugged-up Manchurian Candidates on behalf of the New World Order.
    A World Net Daily article by Aaron Klein attempts to tie Adam Lanza to other “Satanic” killers, and even suggests the possibility of a Satanic conspiracy.
    Other online Sandy Hook theories too ridiculous to attract U.S. media attention include wacky Biblical interpretations of Google maps, “Newtown is a hub of Satanism”, “Lady Gaga and Satanism had something to do with this“, “Freemasons had something to do with this” (a theory that also emerged in the wake of the Dunblane massacre in 1996) and of course Jews did Sandy Hook. And Jews did Sandy Hook.
    We could pass this off as harmless crankery – and most of it is – but we must face the fact that conspiracy theories have real-world consequences. In this case, an entire county in Connecticut shut down its schools after the Christmas break because the religious conspiracy website Revelation Now warned that a map in the latest Batman movie predicted another school attack. Gene Rosen, a retired Newtown resident who assisted six children after they bravely fled their classroom, is being harassed and slandered by conspiranoids who think he’s a paid “crisis actor”, a Satanist, or even a paedophile (merely because he took children into his house). The anti-Semitic wing of the Sandy Hook peanut gallery is certain that Gene Rosen’s ethnicity is a key to his involvement in a mass murder conspiracy. He has been threatened with death.
    Yes, the Sandy Hook “theories” are idiotic – but they’re also deadly serious.
  • I know, I know, it’s really serious: It can be said that the only perfect girlfriend is an imaginary one (or maybe that chick with three breasts). Devoutly Mormon Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o seems to have taken that literally.
    Last September, media outlets around the nation relayed the touching and inspiring story of how Te’o led the Fighting Irish to a 20-3 victory against the Michigan State Spartans just days after his beloved grandmother passed away and his girlfriend of nine months, Stanford graduate Lennay Kekua, lost her battle with leukemia. Lennay, 22, had been diagnosed after a car accident early in 2012. A cover story in the September Sports Illustrated Regional hailed Te’o as a “star student” who had “restored the shine to the golden dome” in spite of his personal tragedies. Writer Pete Thamel described how Te’o spent his few free hours on the phone to Lennay, comforting her as she lay in her hospital bed. Even after Lennay slipped into a coma, he continued to call and speak reassuring words through the phone. Her death on September 12, coming just six hours after the death of his maternal grandmother, was a devastating blow to the 21-year-old design major. They had been good friends since 2009, and began a relationship in January. A Yahoo! Sports piece describes how Te’o dedicated the September 15 game against the Spartans to his gran and his girl, grateful for the support of Lennay’s family after he made the difficult decision to stay with his “football family” and play Saturday’s game rather than fly to Oahu to be with his and Lennay’s relatives. Writer Dan Wetzel opined that Te’o is just the kind of player Notre Dame needs – young men of “accountability and awareness”, and athletic director Jack Swarbrick is quoted as saying Te’o “may be the perfect Notre Dame football player”. Even I heard about this amazing kid, and I don’t follow college ball.
    The warm fuzzies lasted all the way up until this week, when the sports news site Deadspin released its investigative report on Te’o’s story. Timothy Burke and Jack Dickey could find no evidence that Lennay Kekua existed; she was not registered at Stanford, birth announcements can’t be found, no obituary was ever published, and no one other than Manti Te’o has ever met her (remember, he did supposedly meet her in person; according to an October story in the South Bend Tribune – which has been yanked offline – Brian Te’o said his son Manti met with Lennay several times in Hawaii in 2010 and 2011). They could find no record of a 2012 traffic accident in California involving a Lennay Kekua. Nor could they find any relatives of Lennay, like the older brother (Koa) mentioned in the Sports Illustrated article. Sure, there were photos of Lennay (one was shown on CBS This Morning the day of the Notre Dame/Michigan game, and her Twitter feed featured a few more), but Burke and Dickey claim to have traced them to a woman in California who was shocked that her pictures have been misrepresented to the media as photos of a woman she doesn’t know.
    Te’o and Notre Dame are insisting that Manti is the victim of a cruel hoax. Having never met his girlfriend in person (which contradicts his earlier stories about meeting her), he was duped into believing that a voice on the other end of the phone was Lennay Kekua. However, he has not addressed Deadspin‘s examination of the Twitter accounts belonging to him and to “Lennay”, which indicate they met online in 2011 rather than in-person in 2009. At this point in the story, it’s still possible that Te’o is a hoax victim. But here’s where things get sticky for him. The California woman told Deadspin that an acquaintance named Ronaiah Tuiasosopo asked her to pose with a sign reading “MSMK”, supposedly to cheer up someone who had suffered a car accident, and she obliged. “LoveMSMK” was the name attached to Lennay Kekua’s Twitter account. Here’s the problem for Te’o: He knows Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, and exchanged Tweets with him all last year (he even plugged a song recorded by Tuiasosopo). Then there’s the issue of a supposed relative of Lennay trying to hush up the controversy by sending emails to webmasters, contacing Nev Schulman of Catfish fame, and being given a shout-out on Manti’s Twitter feed. It looks like Manti Te’o may have been undone by his own twittering.
    I don’t know how common fake girlfriends are, but cancer hoaxes occur with troubling frequency. Just two months ago, the Wednesday Weirdness Roundup featured another one that had the town of Gypsum, Colorado mourning a little boy who never existed.
    Anyway, time will tell. For the rest of the story, you’ll have to read Deadspin‘s exposé yourself. This post is already far too long for a Wednesday Roundup. In honor of the fictional Ms. Kekua, let’s have a musical interlude…