Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide Now!

I’ve talked about bogus bottled water before. Penta Water is supposed to be more hydrating than plain old water. Jana Skinny Water contains extracts of an herb called Garcinia cambogia that will supposedly make you feel full, hence it is “diet water”. Kabbalah water had some of the spiritual properties of Catholic holy water, only you could drink it. And let’s not forget the happy water of Masuro Emoto, unfortunately made famous by What the Bleep Do We Know?.
But Penn & Teller took it to a whole new level on their Showtime show Bulls***, by having an actor pose as a “water steward” in an upscale restaurant. Patrons were given a fancy menu listing numerous varieties of bottled water, ranging in price from $4 to $7, and asked to sample the selection. Sniffing, sloshing, and sipping like hardcore enophiles, the diners noted variations in taste, color, even “texture”. But every single bottle had been filled from the same garden hose.

On another program, they had a woman circulate among the tie-dyed crowd at an environmental protest in D.C., asking people to sign a petition calling for a ban on one of the world’s most dangerous substances. She rattled off lists of all its hazards, its uses by the defense industry, and its ubiquity (“It’s everywhere these days.”) Scads of earnest enviromentalists signed. Including one of the protest organizers.
Now there’s a website that tells you everything you need to know about the children- and puppy-killing scourge that is dihydrogen monoxide, answering such questions as “Why haven’t I heard about dihydrogen monoxide before?” and “What can I do to minimize the risks?”