Retard Radio Roundup*

Alex Jones and Coast to Coast AM have struck new lows. If you’re surprised by this, please go away.

Yesterday’s C2C featured guest Bob Fletcher, a Georgia man who says he knows everything there is to know about the assassination of Sonny Bono. Back in the ’80s, Fletcher had a small company that sold those little furry toys that look like they’re moving if you stroke them a certain way. Business was hopping (he could barely keep up with orders), so Fletcher merged his company with a larger one owned by Gary Best, which sold cheap watches to convenience stores. We’re not exactly dealing with the Fortune 5oo here. But Fletcher was bowled over by his new business partner’s lavish office furnishings, and baffled to see military men dropping by to chat with Best (“Colonel” Bo Gritz and General Harry Aderholt were two of them). There were also many strange incoming faxes that appeared to be in code (“Received the potatoes.”), and on one occasion he heard Best speaking fluent Chinese or Vietnamese. Later Best flew to Geneva, Switzerland “on business” even though they had no business there (the watches he was selling to 7-11 were definitely not Swiss).

When Fletcher’s business began to drop, he confronted Best about all the strange goings-on, and was told, “We sell armaments.” Best handed Fletcher a brochure for the Hellfire missile. It turned out Best was supplying arms for NSA and CIA covert operations, buying up innocuous-looking, obscure small businesses like Fletcher’s to use as fronts. Best and General Aderholt are real people involved with the Iran-Contra scandal, and Best allegedly did use business fronts for some of his government-sponsored covert operations in Afghanistan. The notion that either of these men would have anything to do with a novelty toy company is laughable.

After stealing Fletcher’s company, Best used his toys to smuggle drugs overseas. Fletcher said a Freedom of Information Act request revealed that information about Vista Animal Factory had been classified by presidential executive order, for reasons of national security, so he began researching black ops and political corruption. Learning that California Congressman Sonny Bono was very upset over Waco and government misdeeds, he informed Bono of some of his findings and was commissioned to prepare an extensive report on government drug smuggling in 1997.

That’s why Sonny Bono was assassinated. His “skiing accident” was somehow rigged up to look accidental. I didn’t listen to the whys and wherefores of this because an hour of listening to Fletcher’s toy stories had put me into a boredom coma, but the bottom line is that Fletcher and Ted Gunderson have called for Sonny Bono’s body to be exhumed.

This was easily the stupidest C2C broadcast I have ever head. Stupider than Mel’s Hole, the Hale-Bopp spaceship, and Reptilian-human sex combined. Are they really so desperate for guests?

Well, maybe they are. It seems that C2C perennial fave David Icke has appeared on Alex Jones’s show three times in as many months. This is an interesting development, because Jones used to identify Icke as a “turd in the punchbowl”, peddling his ridiculous Lizard Overlords theory when there are so many real conspiracies out there.
And Jones shared some of those real conspiracies on yesterday’s show, soon sounding every bit as cracked as poor old Icke. Did you know, for instance, that the Illuminati New World Order Elite Scum wrote The Matrix to desensitize us to their plan to place us all in tanks and lock us into a hive mind? Don’t believe it? You need proof? Well, Macey’s is now selling Illuminati brand clothing! What other proof do you need? Do you really expect Jones to do actual research? ‘Cause he’s far too busy saving the planet.

After hearing Jones declare for the umpteenth time that the Cremation of Care ceremony at Bohemian Grove is a “mock child sacrifice”, I switched over to C2C with the notion that tonight’s guest couldn’t possibly be any worse than Bob Fletcher.

Wrong. Marc Seifer was explaining how the Rife machine works perfectly, and how Tesla shot laserbeams at the moon.

To quote Bruce Springsteen,

This is radio nowhere
Is there anybody alive out there?
Is there anybody alive out there?

* Please note that when I use the word “retard”, I intend it to mean “willfully stupid person”. I do not refer to the mentally challenged or disabled as “retards”. The true retards among us are those who have fully functional brains and choose, for whatever reason, not to use them.

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4 thoughts on “Retard Radio Roundup*

  1. I hope so…I sure don’t wanna wear the grubby clothes Morpheus and his crew wear. They made Das Boot look like a freakin’ spa.

  2. come on..even Alex Jones has to pay his bills. I remember masterful Todd’s comments about the media (by the way he and I are both slave to $$$ wise)…He bellowed at me saying “its not about truth , its all about selling advertising”! I immediately envisioned a neon sign flashing on Todd’s forehead just at that moment” WAKE UP SHEEPIE and PAY UP SUCKER!!!”

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