Wednesday Weirdness Roundup

  • A blog called Suicide Food examines advertisers’ use of cute cartoon animals that cheerfully urge you to eat them. (Saturday Night Live lampooned this kind of thing with their decapitated Clucky the Chicken, but Suicide Food takes it to a whole new level.) Far from being a modern marketing trend, however, “suicide food” has always been with us in one form or another. As Margaret Atwood described in The Robber Bride, French serving dishes are often fashioned in the shape of the foods they’re meant to contain (fish-shaped fish platters, chicken-shaped egg cups, etc.). Then there’s Charlie Tuna, the truly disturbing McNugget Buddies, the ham-eating pigs in the Boost Mobile commercial, etc. It is kinda creepy, especially when you consider that self-sacrifice and suicide are virtually unheard of in the animal kingdom (Disney invented that stuff about lemmings).
  • CGI is a Zionist tool used for sorcery and brainwashing! Well, if you actually believe anything you see on Iranian TV. A very confused guy tries to explain that ancient Egyptian rabbis (???) passed on kabbalistic “witchcraft” to the Knights Templar, and it ended up in the Harry Potter movies. Another guy declares there’s a cultural war going on between Zionist-controlled Hollywood and the Middle Eastern nations. If that’s true, Iran is clearly not even trying to win…
  • The 27 Club “theory” rides again. It’s weaker than usual this time, because most people (myself included) had never even heard of Big Brother contestant Jade Goody.
  • The ludicrous Smiley Face Killer(s) theory is still alive and kicking, too. IMHO, when you combine drunk college students with fast-moving bodies of water or moderately heavy traffic, theories usually aren’t necessary to explain the results. That said, The Foil Beneath My Hat has the best theory-within-a-theory so far.
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