I hesitate to call the following a “conspiracy theory”. It’s more like “completely clueless and misinformed rambling.” An elderly woman caller to a Canadian radio show, who gives free all-day seminars in Vancouver, had this to say about vaccines and the NWO:
She began her rant by saying that most of us are completely ignorant of history and what’s going on around us. She must educate the masses before it’s too late.
– “There is absolutely nothing scientific about vaccines. If it’s true that being exposed to a little bit of a disease makes you immune to it, why do you get a cold and then get another cold later on?! A vaccine has no antibodies! So how can it help your immune system?” She seemed to believe that all viruses contain live viruses, and that you will contract any disease the vaccination is designed to prevent. Like many anti-vaccination hysterics, she does not fully grasp what vaccination even is or how it works.
– “We have an explosion of autoimmune diseases, which happened after we started shooting all these vaccines into children. Now if you were going to do genocide, where would be the best place to start?”
Host: “Um, with children…?”
– All flus, most enzymes, and HIV/AIDS come out of U.S. labs.
– Patenting vaccines and gene sequences is wrong, because they are natural. It’s an Illuminati plot. The host gently tells her that THEY didn’t exactly push this through; there were many court battles involved, but she’s already halfway through the next part of her spiel by this time.
– “The dumbing down of America is being done with vaccines.” Viruses in the vaccines attack the “mylar sheath”, and cross the blood-brain barrier to cause brain inflammation/encephalitis. Most vaccinated infants die in hospital, thanks to vaccines. (I don’t know where she’s been living; Canada has low infant mortality rates)
Whew. Sorry about the babies, but this a relief. I don’t even have a Mylar sheath. Oh wait, yes I do. Oh well. I’ll just go to MEC and get another one.
The woman finally tired of educating the igner’nt masses about the evils of innoculation, and moved on to the “Illuminati agenda”.
– “When Russia reorganized its elite, they did it through secret societies. The Masonic orders. They are everywhere. They have literally infiltrated every organization, and are Trojan horses within those organizations.”
She promises that her next free seminar will tie together HAARP mind control, chemtrails, laser weapons that incinerate people, and many other skeins of the Illuminati agenda.
– Martial law is months or weeks away. “It will be like Stalin’s Russia, or that guy in Chile, what was his name?”
Host: “Pinochet?”
“Yeah, yeah. Pinochet.”
You’ve been warned, folks. Protect those Mylar sheaths by exposing yourself to viral diseases without any protection! Watch out for those Russian Freemasons!
Swallowing The Camel 
Do Russian Freemasons now come with frikken laser beams attached to their heads?
I love it when reason and rationality gets shoved down a Truthers gullet. They do what they are trained to do, deny it, minimize it and live even more fiercely in their ever shrinking reality of fear. Dantalion Joneshttp://www.MindControl101.com
Oh, there's so much there.But this piece of stupid flew out of the screen and stuck to my forehead:Most enzymes come out of US labs.There's almost beauty in that stupid.And these are the same US labs staffed by people made stupid by vaccines.Brilliant.
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Eugene: Dunno, but that would be the best action figure ever. Maybe the first in the series could be a tiny Putin wearing a blindfold, with one pant leg pushed up or whatever it is those crazy Masons do. And the laserbeams shoot out of his nose.D.J.: The host is a friend so I won't really go there. He's not in denial, he's just…well…he smokes a lotta weed. Plus he lives in a city that seems to have cornered the world market in paranoia. And he's too polite to tell callers they're talking sh**.TK, there is just so much WRONG in that woman's monologue that I don't even know where to begin. It's like someone handed me a toothbrush at the Taj Majal and said, "Clean it."I've heard the "vaccines make you stupid" line before, and I wonder, how can anyone accept that? Do we see any changes or delays in cognitive function in kids who've just been vaccinated? Or anything else to indicate that they've been mentally impaired? Nope. They go on to read, write, do math. Same as their unvaccinated great-grandparents.
I got a Vaccine once and it caused a butterfly half way across the world to flap its' wings which then caused a massive giant hurricane to happen on Mars. True story.
I'm quite tempted to think that this lady is a troll, that is, a person who simply did this "for the lulz."