If you’re wondering why I bother with this blog and Leaving Alex Jonestown, it’s because of people like the girl I’ll call Susie. Susie is an 18-year-old waitress at a restaurant in a small Minnesota town, and last week she told my mother that there’s no way she’s going to get an H1N1 shot. After watching a raft of YouTube videos, she thinks a teeny-tiny microchip will be injected into her bloodstream. She’s also freaked about U.S. concentration camps and the usual range of YouTube WTFery. ‘Cause we all know that the Illuminati Freemasonic Reptiles have nothing better to do than track every movement of a teenage waitress in Minnesota, right?
Proof that everything is scarier when you present it in dramatically backlit titles, with choral music: Secrets of Masons. For a mere $37, you can supposedly pre-order all the juicy secrets the Masons don’t want you to know, such as “We like to dunk our digestive biscuits in lukewarm tea.”
A friend wanted to know what I think of the “Free-man-on-the-land” movement (in which disgruntled white men attempt to opt out of the system by reverting to common law, so they can do all the cool stuff that The Man won’t let them do, like beating their common-law girlfriends to death for burning the fried bologna). So here’s what I think: It’s retarded b.s. I’m not saying it’s a bad idea in principle (although it is), but let’s stop and think about what would happen if everyone decided they were above the law. Would you want this Freeman to be beyond the rule of law?