Once in a great while, I meet a person who is so profoundly clueless that just a few minutes spent with him/her provides enough material for an entire Wednesday Weirdness Roundup (Sheldon and TrutherBitch being prime examples).
I met one such person today. I’ll call him Gus, for Gullible Uninformed Simp. Gus appears sane enough; he’s thirtysomething, well-spoken, gainfully employed with a wife and kids. But less than thirty seconds after he opened his mouth, I knew there was something….not….quite….right about Gus.
He wanted the Significant Other’s help in promoting a film series, not so much because he digs film, but because he feels the city’s annual film fest isn’t screening the kind of “controversial” documentaries the public should be seeing (read: retarded conspiranoid crap). He’s sick of films about starving children in Africa, global warming, domestic abuse and “other stuff I don’t give a SHIT about.”
So these are the films Gus thinks we should all be watching instead:
– The Beautiful Truth. This is a biographical documentary about Max Gerson, one of the gazillion or so cranks who “found the cure for cancer”. Naturally, the Elite Scumlords murderered him – but not before he revealed his cure to the world: A diet free of dairy, meat, salt, and sugar, along with lots of coffee enemas. Srsly. Squirting coffee up your butt “cures cancer”. Never mind that, no matter what your parents may have told you, there is nothing in coffee that actually inhibits cell growth. And you could, y’know, maybe drink the coffee.
The Science Punk has posted a thorough and highly entertaining review of this film.
– Vaccine-Nation. The usual anti-vaccine stuff, directed by Gary Null. Herd immunity doesn’t exist, all doctors are trying to kill you, and polio is no biggie. Gus says SIDS disappeared in Japan after they stopped vaccinating infants. Lon Morgan has pointed out that this is not quite accurate.
– Camp FEMA. Directed by one of the Christian Patriots who’s going to be thrown into a FEMA dungeon any day now.
Some of Gus’s other concerns:
– The Codex Alimentarius, which has already appeared in the Wednesday Weirdness Roundup. Gus noted that the Canadian government may someday impose restrictions on such wonderful things as colloidal silver and high doses of Vitamin C (to curtail the risky practice of megadosing, but never mind).
Some of Gus’s other concerns:
– “Electric smog”. Cell phones cause cancer (completely impossible), and the Prime Minister of Sweden claims she gets headaches whenever she’s within twelve feet of a cell phone (also completely impossible). On a related note, did anybody see that Intervention where a painkiller addict couldn’t stand to be around TVs or phones because of the electrical pollution? And she also wouldn’t go outside, because her mom’s azaleas were beaming negative “flower energy” at her?
– A raw milk salesman in Ontario [Michael Schmidt] is being persecuted. “He found a way to do it, and they got him.” He found a way to do what, exactly? Poison people with unhygienic dairy? Gus also mentioned the persecution of Andrew Wakefield.
– Fluoride. Because “it’s practically Lithium” (it’s “practically” a lot of things, but never mind), it pacifies people who ingest it. Really? Gosh, that must be why U.S. crime rates have plummeted since the introduction of fluoridated water!
– Evolution. “Darwin was full of shit”.
– In the event of an epidemic, unvaccinated people may be rounded up and quarantined. Or they might just let you drop dead, Gus.
– Despite his disdain for all vaccines, Gus is somewhat concerned about new strains of H1N1, like the one that’s raging through the Ukraine. This is very interesting, because (as Alex Jones triumphantly crowed last year) the Ukraine recently had a massive anti-vaccination movement…