Deja Ew

TV ads for Dianetics and Amway? That is so ’87.

“The Land of Will”: Nauseatingly ridiculous TV spot for the cult known as Quixtar. Notice how they throw in the first mention of Quixtar at the very, very end of the commercial, almost reluctantly? And how they don’t actually mention what they’re supposedly selling? I’ll remain a thirsty doubter, thanks anyway. Your water doesn’t impress me.

And the new Dianetics ad, which is a heck of a lot more vague than the old Dianetics ads. Notice how the Quixtar spot and this one both feature explosions? Hmmm.

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16 thoughts on “Deja Ew

  1. THANK YOU!!You have provided me with my first and only laughs of the day – just in time for bed. The Quixtar ad is ludicrous. Let’s just isolate so we don’t have to deal with the world! Good Lord.As for dianetics…I forgot to tell you that while I was in the hospital a month ago, there was a copy of Dianetics there, and thinking to amuse myself, I decided to read it. Gawd, I should do a post on it! First, it was terribly written. Second, I couldn’t help but laugh every time the author said, “this is NOT hypnosis!” Third, I thought – this IS DANGEROUS. Un-effing-believable.BTW, I am currently reading Jon Krakauer’s “Under the Banner of Heaven.” VERY disturbing stuff.

  2. Hmm, anon is either an IBO or a Scientologist. I’ll go with IBO. They tend to be very stressed out because they aren’t making any money.For some more laughs, see if you can find a copy of Hubbard’s “Self-Analysis”. This is from the intro, seriously: “Self-Analysis cannot revive the dead. Self-Analysis will not empy insane asylums or stop war. These are the the tasks of the Dianetic auditor…it would probably interest you to read the text. It will give you a different viewpoint on things, possibly.” I think it was designed to be Dianetics for Dummies.I should do a piece on Dianetics. Not Scientology as a whole, because that’s religion and there’s no way to prove or disprove the whole interplanetary-warlord-brainwashing-our-souls thing. There’s been some speculation that Hubbard was skilled in hypnosis, able to convince certain people that he was moving clouds around the sky, etc.

  3. Excellent piece! The Quixtar ad playing on my cable channel did actually mention the word AMWAY, or SCAMWAY as we used to say years ago. I thought it was amusing that they created a new identity in “quixtar”. Like “Eckankar”, the new name for Krishna International, being street-marketed by men in suits. In suits!

  4. Heh heh heh…I think “Eckankar” is a horrible name. It’s like an awful last name that no one can pronounce. And I wish folks would realize that wearing a suit doesn’t automatically confer respectability, it just makes you look self-important and smug. I actually saw a skinhead, in a documentary, explain that he likes to wear suits to boost the public image of skinheads, as if putting on a tie magically rendered his Hitler-lovin’, Jew-hatin’ gobbledygook sensical.

  5. SOG, I was amazed when I saw that ad too. I thought it was a no-no to let us “commoners” know that Quixtar=Amway.My best friend is still hiding behind the “World Wide Dreambuilders” moniker.SME, I don’t think we can discern between an IBO and a Scientologist; they’re both penniless cult members. 😦

  6. “There’s been some speculation that Hubbard was skilled in hypnosis, able to convince certain people that he was moving clouds around the sky, etc.”I’d say it’s more than speculation; several members of the Los Angeles Fantasy and Science Fiction Society, to which Hubbard had been invited by his agent Forrest Ackermann, witnessed Hubbard use hypnosis first-hand. See Russell Miller’s Bare-Faced Messiah, page 140.

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