Wednesday Weirdness Roundup

Martian plesiosaurs, Mossad sharks, and teleporting dolphins. Oh my.

• Felicity Lowde, convicted in 2007 of harassing 7/7 bombing survivor Rachel North, has now turned her cybertongue against Pagans and Freemasons in Bristol, speculating they may have abducted and ritually murdered Joanne Yeates in a macabre Solstice initiation ceremony. Circumstantial evidence includes the fact that some Bristol Pagans like to meet in pubs near Ms. Yeates‘ workplace.
• In late 2008, a Washington state man named Andrew Basiago announced he had found numerous anomalous things in photos taken by the Mars Spirit Rover, including humans in blue jumpsuits, statues, a Bigfoot, a “centipede woman”, and huge snakes. Now Basiago says he was teleported to Mars twice in 1980, and on one occasion he and the CIA agent accompanying him were charged by a plesiosaur. I’m sorry to report that some people believe this, and it has led to a crazy kerfuffle between leading members of the exopolitics movement. Basiago is apparently a practicing attorney, and claims to have five degrees from institutions like UCLA. He’s scheduled to speak at a Dolphins & Teleportation Symposium being held in Hawaii this June. Maybe a Martian plesiosaur will show up, too.
• Kids, this is what happens when you go AWOL to make shitty “documentaries” with your friends.
• Lest anyone is wondering why Egypt is up the creek, look no further than this: Last December, Mohamed Shousha (Governor of South Sinai) publicly declared that Israel’s Mossad may have dumped a shark into Egyptian waters to harm the tourist industry. With leaders like this, who needs leaders?

Is it just me, or would all these things combined make a great movie? A bloodthirsty shark capable of teleporting itself to the surface of Mars is released into English waters by an intelligence agency, and is thwarted by a coalition of dolphins, Martian plesiosaurs, and drunk Pagans.